


Captors and Keepers

by Dyzzyah, Epithimia



Series: Primary and Secondary [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexuality, Crossdressing, F/M, Het and Slash, Heterosexuality, Humanstuck, M/M, Male Slash, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-21
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2017-11-08 06:22:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 105,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dyzzyah/pseuds/Dyzzyah, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epithimia/pseuds/Epithimia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Act 2 of Primary and Secondary. Your name is Sollux Captor. Your best friend Aradia has a boyfriend she won't shut up about and the crossdressing dickbag you share a bathroom with constantly wants a piece of you. What now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. >Sollux: Wake up

**Author's Note:**

> Act 2 is go!
> 
> Wherein Sollux is woken up and Eridan revels in the glory of the night before.

Ordinarily, Sollux Captor found himself falling asleep between three and five in the morning, but the night previous he had somehow lost consciousness without realizing it at about 1:30. He had fallen asleep while waiting for his soiled blanket as well as just about every other piece of clothing he owned was in the laundry room across the hall from his dorm room. Thanks to this stunning lack of foresight, he was asleep on a bare mattress in just a pair of jeans, ignorant to any chill of the room in his unconscious state.

A thrumming began in jeans that abruptly served to render him awake.

Groggily, he blinked his heterochromatic eyes as he lifted his hips and dug about through his pocket. He had left his cell phone in his pocket as he slept and it was currently buzzing against his leg. 

He slid his phone open and laid on his back, answering without looking at the caller ID, "Hello?"

"Sollux? Sollux honey, it's me. Are you okay? You haven't returned my calls."

It was his mother. Of course it was.

He had come to expect her calls at least twice a week; as she had done so since his arrival on campus for summer classes back in June. "Hmm?" He thought for a moment, "Oh right, from two days ago. Sorry 'bout that." 

He hoped he didn't sound as tired as he felt.

“It's been longer than that; my god, for all I knew my sweet baby boy could have been lying dead in a ditch for days! You never pick up when I call, you never answer my emails..."

He chuckled at her theatrics, “You don’t know how to e-mail, mom, you sure you did it right? Never got anything from you."

"I used the school e-mail address on your forms. I'm looking at my e-mail page right now and it says it was received. Ess-captor-at-mountainside-university-dot-ee-dee-yew."

"It’s just MSU.com, mom. Also you forgot the number 2 in there. It's CaptorS2. Some shmuck with that email got whatever cat pictures you forwarded me. I don't check the school email anyway; you have to use my personal one. Or you could just text me on my phone since you seem to like the phone machine so much."

An exasperated sigh emerged. "I just don't understand all these gadgets. Anyway, why don't you ever return my calls? I call you at night so I won't bother you in class, but you never pick up, so I call you in the morning...you're still in bed, aren't you?"

Sollux replied without missing a beat, "Nope. Just got out of the shower."

"Fine! Lie to your mother, see if I care." Sollux could hear her grumble in Yiddish and did his best to repress a chuckle, lest he incur more wrath from her. "So tell me what's going on? How's Aradia doing? Her parents send their best, by the way, I ran into them at CVS just the other day."

Shit, he hadn’t talked to Aradia since she’d gone on that date with her roommate’s friend. He didn’t even know what she was doing, "Last I checked I think she has a boyfriend or whatever. He's rich and handsome and looks like Indiana Jones or something."

"Sweet little Aradia? That's fantastic! I heard she was doing well, but a rich boy? Wonder if he's a doctor....oh, how about that Tarmac boy you said you hung out with over the summer?"

"Karkat. He's ok, he's the RA for the hall so he just bitches about every single thing about the building including me."

"Language, Sollux!” She chastised, “He needs a nice girl. How about you, find any nice girls for yourself?"

At that question, Sollux’s mind flooded with vivid details of the night prior; he had fooled around (putting it mildly) with the annoying bastard he shared a joint bathroom with. His annoying, CROSSDRESSING bastard of a suitemate. Shit. 

There are things no mother needs to know. 

There are probably things no mother wants to know.

He cleared his throat, hopefully saving face, "Yep. One's a lesbian though, so that means nothing to you."

"Tch. Better get on it, then, or Karpat and the lesbian will take up all the nice girls. Try to find one who's going into medicine."  
Sollux remembered that Feferi was a nursing student. Given that most of her interactions involved alcohol or a fit of giggles like bubbles up the side of an aquarium. Or Squirtle’s bubblebeam attack. He tried to imagine her in a serious, medical setting; test tube and syringe in hand with her giant, pink framed glasses. He couldn’t handle it and found himself laughing, "I know a nursing student."

"Good. Marry her.” 

Sollux stared at the ceiling, eyebrows furrowed, “Shouldn’t she get a say in this?”

“Get yourself a good wife with a good job, and work hard yourself so you'll never have to feel the pain of raising a child on your own on a pittance, knowing your precious baby deserves so much more."

The sheer awkwardness of that entire statement was enough to make Sollux lift the phone and sigh away from the mouthpiece. He'd been hearing variations of this rant ever since his damn Bar Mitzvah and even before then. Work hard, work hard, and then work hard some goddamn more, "Mom, you know it's all I fucking do. I'm paying my own way through here, remember?"

"I know, honey, I know, and thank god you're getting a good education...though, since you brought up the topic...another 'envelope' came for you today."

"Oh." He hated having to bring up this kind of talk with his mother, "Open it, take out $500 for you and you know the rest."

"I thought you'd say that. I'll send it out first class in the morning. Clean envelope, just like last time. Sollux...I don't like this. It seems pretty shady; you're freelance, I get that, but you'd think a kosher business would have direct deposit or something..."

"Trust me, I know all about online intel and this is just a lot more secure than any bank." That was a lie. "I was the one who insisted on cash only." 

Thankfully that was the truth. It was bad enough that he was sitting in his wreck of a dorm room with a load of damp laundry most likely wrinkled all to hell because he fell asleep before he changed it over; he didn't want to be a completely shitty son.

Her voice dropped down to a whisper. "Is this...because of taxes? Because honey, if it's coming down to you declaring income OR going to school, I'll pull more overtime for you. I'm your mother, you know I will."

He chuckled nervously, "Mom, you just told me to work hard. That's what I'm doing. Don't worry about me, I'm apeshit bananas at this stuff. I'll be fine."

"Language! And I know, honey, but I'm your mother. If I'm not worried about you that probably means I'm dead, so thank god I'm still worrying, eh? Now, you give Aradia my best, okay? And for the love of god, call me next week so I don't find myself scanning obituaries and police reports to make sure you're not in them."

"I don't even leave my room except for class. And this place is literally in the middle of the woods on a mountain, what's the worst that can happen? Last I checked there were no gangs in the woods."

"Honey, it's still Jersey."

Sollux rolled his eyes so hard back into his head that they sharply ached, "I'll talk to you later."

"Fine, love you honey. Be good."

Too late. 

"You too."

He ended the call, dropped his phone, and then cracked his neck. He looked about his room briefly, contemplating how accustomed he'd grown to his dorm since coming here in June. He thought on his room back home as he'd last seen it before leaving; a corner nook with bare walls, a bed roughly the same size as the one he was currently sitting on, and a wooden desk with little on it since he was bringing his laptop, all of his computer games, and the lamp his mother insisted on lightning after dark.

All things considered, it wasn’t too different than home at school. 

He realized then that he still tasted like Eridan, which was a really, really strange thought. Although it made sense considering not twelve hours ago the guy had his tongue down his throat, but still. That was... 

Sollux didn't even really know how to describe it, especially since he had nothing to compare it to before. He shook his head and placed his feet on the cold, tile floor, he had to get his laundry. 

He slid on his blue and red sunglasses and used the deadbolt in his door as a doorstop as he walked across the hallway. Just as he'd thought, his clothes were still in the washer, beginning to dry into a coiled, lumpy mass.

He yanked out a shirt; black and wrinkled with one red and one blue sleeve and slid it on. It was less damp than the other clothes from being on the top of the load. He pulled out everything else and shoved it into the dryer beside it. He set the cycle on high, just so he wouldn’t have to come back out another extra time. 

As he opened the door to the laundry room, he noticed a familiar dark-haired figure in striped blue pants and a violet coat walking down the hallway in the opposite direction.

Shit!

He opened his door quickly once again and shut it, not wanting to put up with any possible or potential shit from Eridan. At least not now. Or… damn, he didn’t even know when he’d want to think about this again. He leaned against his door. At least this meant the bathroom was free and he could shower without worrying about scorecards on how amazing the night before was.

Sollux felt a migraine coming on, rubbing the outer edge of his eye socket as he trudged toward the bathroom door.

It was locked.

Goddammit.

==>

Eridan hummed to himself as he left his room and headed across the hallway and down the stairs; feeling light of step, loose of gait, perfect in dress, and victorious in all things. 

Karkat was mid-yawn when Eridan greeted him. His disheveled head lifted partway, somewhat drowsy looking considering the time of day. He was clad in an old jacket and jeans, clearly not out to impress right then.

He waved as he saw Karkat, stretching a little. "Hey Kar, how's it goin'? Lookin' bitey as usual."

"Bitey? Is that really the best fucking attribute you happen to notice-" He cut himself off midsentence, an actual question on his mind, "Wait, pleasantries aside, and even though I’m going to regret the fuck out of asking, my curiosity has ousted my self-preservation instincts in regards to my own sanity enough where I actually have to ask, what did you get up to last night?"

"Got laid, good an' proper," Eridan grinned, starting off towards the parking lot. "Here, c'mon, coffee's on me today. Wanna walk or should I drive?"

Karkat's cheek twitched slightly before he sighed with a shake of his head, "Whatever's good for you, I'm not looking a gift horse in its stinking tooth-lined hay-hole in spite of whatever I'm subjecting myself to by just not walking away."

"What? I get a good piece, you get free coffee, ain't that how this friendship works? Though I can't go promisin' I'll pay up every single time I get mine in, but what can I say? I feel like celebratin'. I tell you, Kar, things is lookin' up!"

"Yeah well, once your booty call crashes and burns like a derailed train in the land of condoms and bad ideas, leaving a smoldering husk of woe and youtube-worthy flip-outs, go get Fef or something to ante up for you because I don't have the means to console you in whatever way you deem necessary. I don’t do manicures and I’m so broke I need to get a receipt for tax purposes any time I throw a penny in a wishing well."

Eridan turned, pity across his face. "Such a pessimist, you are. Can't a guy just get his rocks off without you waitin', popcorn in hand, for things to turn to shit? Nah, this ain't goin' to go to pot so easy; a good time was had by all involved, an' I got a feelin' I can play with this one a good month or maybe more if I play my cards right. I know this, Kar, I can feel it in my bones. No strings, no worries, just a fun times an' good fucks." 

Karkat looked skyward, mind sloughing through the questionable options of who this mystery lay was, "Is this that model of yours from a couple weeks ago?"

"That guy? Naw, wasn't him. Eq wasn't up for another go, shame though it may a been. I got ideas this one’s goin’ to be game to play again."

Baffled, Karkat's face wrinkled further, "Do you even know anyone else? I'm almost positive you wouldn't pull the bait-and-switch on a guy in drag just because you're bored or anything."

"Is this a guessin' game? Is that what we're doin' here?" Eridan snickered. "I can hear the gears tickin' 'round, tryin' to figure anybody you ever heard me make mention a durin' our li'l discourses. You want a hint? Care to buy a vowel?"

"Wait? I know them?" He froze in place for a second, "It's not Nepeta is it? Last I checked you weren't into anime and desperation."

Eridan quirked a brow. "No...? Honestly I'm a li'l surprised you'd go there so quick. I mean, she's a cute li'l thing an' all, but she ain't exactly my type, is she?"

Karkat snorted, "Well Sollux isn’t into guys and he fucking hates you."

Eridan snickered. "Don't blow out any neurons, Kar, you ain't got any can spare."

Karkat furrowed his brow, "Feferi? Did she finally come back around? Because, unlikely as that is, I’m honestly at a loss for anybody otherwise."

"You an' I both know the likelihood a that ever happenin', Kar."

"Well then I'm shit out of luck. You gonna tell me or am I going to pop a synapse waiting in anticipation?"

"Maybe I'll tell you if you're good." They turned a corner, "You poppin' synapses hasn't stopped bein’ funny in all the time I known you. How about you? Anythin' new goin' on in the land a rage an' romcoms?"

Karkat shrugged, "Not much, Kanaya tried to get me to watch some British comedy and either the stream was shit or I just couldn’t understand a fucking thing they were saying. How can I immerse myself into a narrative under such viewer-hostile conditions? So we put on Much Ado About Nothing. There, clean, easy, understandable; Kanaya got her craving for something British satisfied and I was able to bask in the unholy greatness of both The Bard and proper fucking romance."

"Always liked that one," Eridan smiled, nodding his approval. "There's just somethin' about the chemistry a rivals that makes me smile, you know?" 

"Well that's a huge focal point of the romcom oeuvre, isn't it? It's meant to amplify the juxtaposition between two characters that seem entirely out of place with the other, watch them bounce off each other and holy shit on a shingle you slept with Sollux, didn't you?"

Eridan smirked, not stopping as he walked. "I ain't 'slept with' so much as 'fucked into a happy stupor' but you got the gist a it."

"Sollux? You mean-- wait, WHAT?? You WHAT?" Karkat's eyebrows twitched at the unbidden visual that imposed itself into his mind, "Eugh…You... what did you somehow set your fucking bed on fire? Because last I checked, that's what happens when you rub two sticks together long enough."

"Got hot enough it might well a been a fire hazard," Eridan laughed, "An' believe me, there was rubbin' a all sorts goin' on. Mind you, for a scrawny li'l thing he sure got some meat on him if you know where to look, heh."

Karkat shoved his hands over his ears and screamed, "I don't want to think about him or his meat anywhere! You just couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? YOU DID THIS TO ME ON PURPOSE!"

Eridan turned, confused. He held his hands up to pacify Karkat, "Kar, what's the big fuckin' deal? He's a pretty hot guy an' I went for it, an' he accepted. Anyways, I thought you was straight? Look, if there's somethin' goin' on that I'm steppin' on, say the word an' I'll cut him loose nice an' easy, but I ain't heard any indication anybody had designs on him but me."

"Dammit Eridan I'm not gay! And even if I was, I wouldn't go for some ugly motherfucker like Sollux Captor of all fucking people, I mean look at him! He practically rattles when he walks and has the self-esteem of a bulimic fifteen-year-old gymnast!”

Eridan rolled his eyes, sliding his hands back into his pockets. "Granted, he's bony as a sack a crowbars, but he got it goin' on just as I like 'em. Anyway, if you ain't into him then I'm stumped where the problem here is. I was a proper gentleman, I saw to it he got his. Good times were had by all, you know?"

"OH GOD. Eridan, bro, dude, compatriot of mine for some god forsaken reason, you could fuck three horses in a goddamn cornfield in July but I don't want to hear about you nailing my best friend, ok?!"

Eridan looked affronted as they reached the coffee shop. "An' there's a fine slap in the face if ever there was. Here you an' me been pals for years, an' I'm so easily replaced after a summer away? I mean, if it was Kan I'd not complain, but I thought we was tight, Kar."

"Yeah well, I've known Kanaya longer than you and suddenly the two of you are giggling about boobies and watching Twilight or whatever the fuck it is you guys do until fuck-all o’clock in the morning." Karkat opened the door and turned back, "Besides, you suck at video games."

Eridan slung an arm around Karkat's shoulder, "Aw, my bitey li'l strained metaphor factory been feelin' neglected? Don't you worry, Kar, you an' me is always goin' to be close. Now, what're you havin'? I hear tell this place got some new blend they're toutin'."

"Tch.” Karkat shrugged Eridan’s arm off, “So, what? Are you guys planning on expending all of your energy on fucking to keep from fighting? It didn’t work on How I Met Your Mother and it sure as hell isn’t going to work in a college dorm, where hormones and bad attitudes waft through the air like espers."

"Like I said, I'm thinkin' maybe a steady bang for a while. Ain't exactly romance, but lemme hear your two bits on it: how long after a hook-up does a proper bloke wait 'fore goin' back for seconds?"

"Like I would know! I don't abuse my authority over the hallway to get what I want out of any skirt that catches my eye! You're the only dickhead who'd figure out any kind of fucked up pre-and-post-coital protocol for making my begrudging best friend your personal boner-holster."

"It's an unusual situation!" said Eridan as the guy ahead of them finished his order. He turned to the barista, "Caramel latte with whip cream an' chocolate shavin's, an' toss in a shot a espresso, I need the caffeine. Kar, what's yours?"

Karkat turned to the poor sap in front of him and quickly barked, "Something black and as dark as the bottom of the fucking coffee pot and I don't even care if it's entirely liquid or not now Eridan if I hear any details about this stupid affair or whatever out of you I swear I'll bury you so deep the seeds of infinite darkness couldn't reach your decaying flesh and the weeds that would flower from your corpse would come out black, are we clear?"

Eridan handed his card to the cashier. "Kar, I'm not marryin' the guy, I'm just fuckin' him."

Karkat shook his head, "I’m still fucking flabbergasted as to how you got THAT far. What’d you do? Hold his computer hostage?"

"I offered him a kiss, an' he accepted. Then I offered him more, an' he accepted that too," Eridan shrugged, waiting for his coffee. "I only coerce the ones that obviously get off on bein' coerced. You know me, man, I ain't so low as to try an' fuck someone who ain't into it."

"Yeah, yeah. Whoops, there’s my mental self-preservation kicking in, bringing with it a bright and shiny new change of topic. Nepeta wants me to watch some anime about some 10 year old in high school and somehow there's cats involved. I have no idea how the fuck to say no loud enough for her to understand."

"Then either you learn, Kar, or you got a lot a smilin' an' noddin' in your future."

Both cups arrived and each young man took a sip.

Karkat’s impatience for caffeine was evident in how fast he burned his tongue, “FUCK!”

Eridan failed to repress a laugh at Karkat's expense. Oral injuries to those closest to him aside, today was shaping up to be a good day.


	2. >Aradia: Make light of bad literature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia checks up on Sollux and Feferi after a leading text brings her curiosity.

"That book of yours must be an excellent read if it has you laughing so." Equius combed his dark hair over his shoulder and peered over her side to examine its cover.

Aradia laughed, showing him the title, "It's actually not. It's terrible! It's like the author actively tried to avoid knowing anything about Vodou or any of its variations while trying to write this drivel! It's horrible in the funniest ways." 

She marked her page with a ribbon and flipped to an earlier chapter. "Okay, it was somewhere around...here! You see? The main antagonist is using dolls to 'consort with dark gods,' which isn't how Vodou works _at all._ Voodoo is principally monotheistic with a number of loa, and...really, if the author had even _once_ thought to do any research, they'd have realized what a load this whole premise is."

His eyebrows knit in confusion at the text, "It seems preposterous to write about a subject one knows little about. The dark arts seem like a subject not many should delve into though."

Aradia looked up at Equius, vaguely amused. It was a cool, cloudy day, and she was comfortably close to him, her hip brushing against his as they sat on the cold stone steps leading up to the university center. 

Only a few days ago, the two had had a delightful date, a lovely tour of the local stables and a pleasant but casual dinner, complete with awkward first kisses and improving second-through-tenth ones (before she had lost count); Aradia had arrived back at her dorm with the strangely pleasant smell of Equius on her sweater and a giddy flutter in her heart. The day after, the two had run into one another in the cafeteria and exchanged pleasantries, but sadly neither had much time to talk. This had been their first chance to spend time together, a chance but fortuitous meeting, and both were making use of it.

"'Dark arts?' Seriously? Vodou's a religion, not some black magic practice, not to mention one of the more fun-sounding ones. It's pretty fascinating, really."

"Fascinating how? They are a den of those who sacrifice animals in the name of a heathen god." Equius spoke matter-of-factly, peering under the edge of his sunglasses.

"...You sure you didn't read chapter three? 'Cause you're just as wrong as the author is." She shook her head with a chuckle, "Don't believe the bad press; it's like saying that every Sunday, Catholics actually drink human blood for communion. It's just insulting, really. Hilariously inaccurate and insulting." 

Equius held his tongue, instead making a noncommittal grunt and looking off to the side, "Organized religion is extremely daunting at times. Are you yourself Christian?"

"Agnostic-ish. I believe in lots of things including something after death, but if there's a god, they're probably pretty cool and just want us to all get along and not be jerks. I haven't really found a church with that as their mission statement, though...but I love learning about religions; you can tell a lot about a culture by their death rituals!" she beamed.

Death rituals. Well this certainly didn't come up on the first date and he wasn't exactly sure how to deal with it, "Such a strange, quixotic topic." Instead he cautiously slid a large hand around her shoulder, pressing her closer to him in an effort to keep the peace.

Aradia cuddled up against him, setting the book aside. "Not so very. Funerary customs are something every culture has, and they're fascinating, anthropologically speaking, and sometimes the most useful archeological evidence we can find are from buried remains and funeral trappings. I think you have to be comfortable with the topic if you have any interest in archeology or anthropology, you know?" She nuzzled against his chest.

He nodded absently, having hardly heard her words due to his rising bodily temperature. He took a deep breath and as smoothly as possible, tried to rub at his forehead with his sleeve. Curses! He thought, she kept having this effect on him. In spite of hints that she did not mind his perspiration or his scent, it remained an issue in his mind. What if today was when she decided to complain? Oh goodness, shit, fuck, and all of the stupid misfortune! A quivering hand rested upon the top of her head, beginning to stroke her thick, floral scented hair.

Aradia smiled, tilting her head into his hand, as her arm wrapped around his waist. She blushed just a little, her voice hesitant as she spoke, "Hey, Equius? I was wondering, are you doing anything Saturday?"

He looked skyward for a moment, "I don't believe I am."

She pressed just a little closer, now nuzzling into his shoulder, "Would you be interested in another date?"

He went somewhat stiff, his mind racing as he fought urge to dislodge himself and to gather her closer all at once, "I most certainly would. This time I'll personally extract you myself from your dorm room so punctuality will not be an issue."

"Deal! And I chose the last date, you can choose this one. How's that for fair?" She shifted, squeezing her arm around him. She hoped that she wasn't coming on too strong, but maybe being a little forward would be okay, in the end.

"I'm not sure of what we could do as of yet, but I assure you I'll have something in mind by then." He flexed his arm slightly.

"No pressure! I'd just like to spend more time with you, you know? Keep getting to know you." She smiled, shyly glancing away, "And...if you happened to text or stop by the shop when it's slow, it'd brighten my evening."

"Your implication that I have foresight to predict your shop's vacancy is amusing." He grinned, "I'll see what I can do."

"Most weeknight evenings, but hey, if you don't feel like taking a chance, text or call and I can tell you," Aradia grinned, "Not like I mind a handsome guy calling me."

He returned her smile and leaned in, pressing an impulsive kiss to her lips. Equius wasn't nearly as stiff as he had been on their date, but he could stand to be just a bit looser.

She met his lips with enthusiasm, as she laid one hand behind the back of his neck, pulling him down to her. She shifted to kneel, facing him, as she pressed closer.

Surprised by her boldness, he kissed her once again, eyes shutting tighter. She was holding him tightly to her, and kissing him so lasciviously in a public setting! With his strength he could easily have pulled away, but oh how he enjoyed the vigor she had in her.

A moment later, he could feel his phone buzz in his pocket. A low, gripping guitar strum began as well as he withdrew his phone; it was time for his class. He sighed harshly, "I must go to class now."

"Aw..." she pouted, and pulled him back down for another brief kiss. "Have a good class, okay?"

He nodded with a quirk of his lips, "I'll see you later." He ran a hand through his hair and stood up, easily lifting his toolbox and messenger bag before descending the stairs.

Aradia waved and watched him go. She picked up her book, but after a few moments of staring distractedly at the page, she gave up and put the book away. She pulled out her phone; she had a while to go before work, and she hadn't talked to Sollux in a couple days, couldn't hurt to check in, right?

_hey s0llux whats up?  
i havent heard fr0m y0u in a while_

_been bu2y got my friiend ff over here and were gettiing down iif you know what ii mean._

Aradia rolled her eyes and snickered.

_if y0u were really getting d0wn to shenanigans y0u w0uldnt have b0thered t0 answer  
i was w0ndering if y0u wanted t0 hang 0ut but if y0ure busy i understand_

_fuck aa ii wa2 talking about N64!  
you want two flaiil around on the control2 and fall off raiinbow road wiith ff and me be my gue2t._

_y0ur fault f0r using l0aded statements  
are y0u in y0ur d0rm 0r in the game r00m?_

_game room becau2e ff wanted me two go out2iide and wouldnt let me 2ay no 2o we compromii2ed._

_c00l  
i will be up in a m0ment  
y0u can intr0duce me t0 y0ur 0bvi0usly awes0me friend_

_you guy2 wiill get iit on liike donkey kong and hiis 2iigniifiicantly le22er but 2tiill ob2ervant predece22or._

Aradia pulled on her backpack and started walking.

_duly n0ted and 0n my way_

==>

Aradia rounded a corner and walked down to the basement of the university center. Inside the building, she walked down the hallway towards the game room door, hearing a female voice laughing and chanting. As she entered the room, she saw Sollux sitting on a couch in front of a big TV, controller in hand, as a slender blonde conducted a victory dance around the couch. "Ooooh yeah! Burrrrrn! I won I won I wooon! I won I won I wooon! Who's the best? Fef's the best! 'Cause Fef's the one that wooon!"

"Oh hey, sup Aradia." He pointed to the blonde dancing around the couch, "See this little orchestrated affront to my manliness? That's all your doing."

Aradia waved and came over, tossing her bag to the side of the couch. "I find that hard to believe, I've been trying to get some even-handed humility into you for years." She watched as the other girl did a delicate pirouette and finished with a squeal. 

"Hey! You're Aradia, right? I'm Feferi!" Feferi grabbed Aradia's hand and shook it, grinning widely, "I just served Sollux's butt to him, wanna help me kick his butt again?"

"No, you happened to win because I fell off the damn map because Aradia texted me!"

Aradia flopped down onto the couch next to Sollux, picking up a controller, "Then you probably will kick both our butts on the next round, right?" 

Feferi vaulted over the couch, landing neatly on Sollux's other side, picking her controller back up. "Let's do this!"

"Of course I am," he said, as if such was as obvious a fact as saying the sun rose in the morning. Naturally, when the round started, he got the extra boost that jabbed him ahead into first almost immediately.

Aradia and Yoshi followed soon after, with Princess Peach-feri hot on her heels. "Aww yeah, eat red shells! Pyew Pyew Pyew!" Feferi laughed.

Sollux played such that it was almost borderline cheating; driving faster than Wario should've been able to and hoarding his green shells and perfectly aiming them.

A well-timed mushroom brought Feferi neck-and-neck with Sollux for a little while, while the Yoshimobile trailed in third, Aradia muttering about the rotten uselessness of banana peels.

Sollux happened to get a single green shell right before crossing the finish line, adding insult to injury as he shot it at Feferi's Peach as he finished in first. He sat back with a smirk.

Feferi pouted as Aradia made her way to the finish line, "I almost had you! It was really close! I was thiiiiiis close to beating you, so even you have to admit I'm getting pretty good!" Feferi said, matter-of-factly.

"Close only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades; there is no try.” Sollux stood up and walked around to the other side of the couch, "You guys can play if you want, I'm through for now."

Feferi tossed the controller aside, "Nah, two hours is enough for me.”

Aradia set her own controller aside. "You guys have been busy, huh?" 

Feferi tucked her legs underneath herself, smiling broadly, "Yeah, I never played before today! And I just HAD to get Sollux out of his room, you know?"

"Yeah, she's filled her contractual obligation to make me see daylight."

Aradia leaned over, talking past Sollux, "Bribery sometimes works, too. Remember that Solluxes need to be fed and walked every day, no matter how much they complain about it." 

Sollux picked up a nearby newspaper and rolled it, "And Aradias need to be taught manners." He bopped her lightly on the head.

She shoved him lightly, "Hey! Jerk. You're one to talk about manners!" She looked over at Feferi while she jabbed her finger towards Sollux, "Do you know, I had my first date in months on Thursday, and this guy here, who's been like a brother to me since childhood, never even asked how it went? There I was, all excited over my date, I don't think he even wished me luck! Didn't check in, nothing!"

Sollux eyes widened for a moment as he realized that she was absolutely right. He felt like crap. No, like whatever lies beneath crap, aspiring to one day rise up in the ranks the natural order of being a bad friend to someday be crap. "Shit, I'm sorry, I kept forgetting to ask. Been busy."

"To busy for your friend?" Feferi snorted and smacked Sollux lightly in the back of the head. "Not cool, Sollux, not cool." 

Sollux sighed and threw the paper aside, rearranging himself in front of Aradia at exaggerated rapt attention, "Well then, go on, tell me all about your expedition."

She threw her head back with a melodramatic flair, the back of her hand pressed to her forehead, "No, no, you have new friends, and must not trifle himself with the day-to-day comings and goings of his old forgotten friend." She failed to supress a snicker as she squirmed in her seat, getting more comfortable, "Anyway, it's no fun gushing over the details with someone who isn't actually interested. The short version: I like him a lot and we're going out again on Saturday."

"Nice. Don't forget underwear." Sollux stood straight again, flipping through the other N64 games at his disposal in the club room.

"Such a charmer, isn't he?" Aradia rolled her eyes and gestured towards Sollux, and Feferi shrugged. 

At that moment a gaggle of freshman girls in cat ears and hot topic shirts grouped inside the room, all talking loudly. Sollux's cheek twitched, edging his way out of the room and looking at the other girls to follow.

Feferi grabbed her backpack and jacket and Aradia picked up her bag, and both girls followed Sollux, chatting quietly amongst themselves.

"Ugh, how did I know that was going to happen? Seriously, that's why I never go there in the first place, bunch of stupid weeaboos and their Avenue Q references and-" He cut himself off with a shudder, slouching as he walked, ignoring the two girls’ quiet conversation.

"Maybe because the game room is fun and other people like fun?" Feferi offered, before turning back to Aradia, speaking quietly. "He sounds like a looker! How long did you say it was?"

Sollux halted dead in his tracks, spinning around and gaping wide-eyed at Aradia, _“What?”_

Both girls stopped and looked at him, and Aradia grew bright red, blurting out, "HAIR! Shoulder-blades! I mean, his hair, it hangs below his shoulder-blades. Like, about here?" 

She turned, picking up her own ponytail, and demonstrated on her own back.

"Ooooh! I would braid him. I would braid him SO HARD!" Feferi giggled. "Oh, by the way, we're friends now, and I'm going to braid you sometime."

Sollux grinned, "It's a jungle in there, might find bones."

"You buy _one pair_ of femur-motif hairsticks, and suddenly you have a reputation..." Aradia sighed, shaking her head.

Feferi turned to Sollux, grinning, "I like her!"

"So you've said. You guys are kind of alike, so it makes sense."

Feferi giggled and hooked an arm around Aradia, "Are we now? Sweet! I'm taking you home and keeping you."

"Have her back by Saturday or her date might be concerned." Sollux pointed, "See? I listen."

Aradia blew a raspberry at him as Feferi was already fussing, wrist-deep, in her bushy ponytail. "Fluffy!"

Aradia giggled as Feferi fluffed and played with her hair, shrugging to Sollux. She then remembered, "Oh! Hey Sollux, I meant to ask you: your bathroom-buddy, he's a photographer, right? Nepeta wants to get some artist portraits for her site."

"Hmm?" He suddenly recalled the thousands of pictures he had on his computer through the shared folder he had set up a while back, "Oh yeah, haven't really seen any of his stuff, though."

Feferi propped her chin on Aradia's shoulder, hugging her from the back. "Eridan's really good! I can see if he can fit you in sometime."

Feferi pulled out her phone and flipped open to a photo portfolio. "Here, I have some of his stuff."

Aradia looked down at the phone, "Hey, these are really good!" She looked over at Sollux, "This guy is really talented! I think I'll get my portraits done, too, if I can afford it."

Sollux walked back over and examined the pictures as well. He recognized the view of one of landscapes as the view from approximately from their building. He had a different angle, but it was clearly from their area of campus. There was a girl there with long, black hair staring back directly into the camera, prevalent smirk with shark-like teeth. There was also a picture of Feferi, neck arched, shadows cast just so across her face and eyes. Wow, Eridan knew what he was doing.

Feferi pulled herself off of Aradia's back fussed with her phone. Aradia turned to Sollux, "Think you can hook me up?" 

Feferi called over, "On it. Texting him now."

"It's cool to see you get along with her, I thought you might." He stretched slightly, "Oh right, my mom said hi."

"Oh, say hi for me the next time she calls!" Aradia turned to Feferi, "His mom calls, he never calls her." 

Feferi nodded, looking a little distracted. "He's not answering. I'll be back in a few, I'm gonna try to call him." She walked a few yards away.

Aradia stood next to Sollux, watching her go. "She's nice! What's her major, art? She looks model-y."

“Crazy enough, she's a nursing student." He looked down at her with a grin, "Doesn't seem like it, does it?"

"Ahhh," she smiled, nodding. "You know your mom's going to try to get you to marry her, right?"

"Already has. She called yesterday and wouldn't shut up about finding a nice girl for some reason. I can't possibly be getting that old, can I?" He scratched at his hair.

Aradia chuckled, putting an arm around Sollux and offering a side-hug. "We're 19. I'm sure your mom just wants you to find someone who makes you happy, and...she didn't have good luck with that, you know? So she's bound to be a little messed up about it."

He nodded, "Yeah, it's just... I don't know, lately it's just been constant. It's kind of stressful."

"No kidding. I mentioned Equius yesterday when I called Mom and, get this, Dad already wants to meet his father." She gave another comforting squeeze. "I know she really just wants you to be happy. I do, too." Aradia's phone chimed, "Crapsickles. I've got to get going to work. Tell Feferi I had to go and give her my screen name, will you?"

"Sure, I'll talk to you later."

Aradia walked off along the path, waving to Feferi as she passed her. Sollux was doing fine; Aradia smiled to herself. All these new friends must be good for him, while he was as grumpy as ever, something about him seemed more relaxed, almost like a new man. Plus, she had a new friend herself, and with any luck, Equius might get in contact with her after class. She smiled to herself, a fresh bounce in her step and ready to take on whatever her shift threw at her.


	3. >Eridan: Dye blond patch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan dyes his hair, gets lectured by Kanaya, sets some boundaries with Sollux and then teaches him how to make out proper.

Eridan was never fond of waiting. Even though he could probably work on his homework or organize his closet or any of a number of perfectly constructive uses of his time, the fact he was waiting itched at him like spiders under his skin. Still, what could he do? Dying one's hair takes time.

The things one does for beauty.

He shrugged on a jacket, something to cover his bare shoulders, as he sat at his computer and decided to kill time by idle chitchat.  
 _hey kan howws it goin_

_I Believe You May Be In Need Of A Little Chat About Discretion_

Eridan rolled his eyes. Good old Kanaya...  
 _wwhat did i do now_

_According To Karkat Youve Been Essentially Advertising Your Affair With Your Suitemate  
Which By The Way I Begrudgingly Bestow Kudos Upon You For_

_hey wwait a sec  
okay first a all i wwas a proper gent i wwaited an i conducted myself wwith all appropriate propriety  
by wwhich i mean he got off too an didnt seem too upset about it all though maybe a little gobsmacked but satisfied all the same  
second a all kar an me wwe are tight like that plus you an i both knoww howw hilarious he gets wwhen you tell him shit like that  
faces aint supposed to turn those colors_

_That Is Not The Issue Here  
This Isnt About Giving Karkat A Metaphorical Aneurysm For Your Wicked Delight_

_really cause i seem to remember once or twwice you titterin wwhen you got a good piece an he reacted samewwise_

_This Is About Outing Someone That You Wish To Have Multiple Intimate Encounters With_

_i guess you got a point there though i just figured kar wwould knoww to keep it betwween those that already knoww namely you an me an maybe sol  
though noww as i think on it maybe sol dont need to knoww you guys are in on the secret i mean im sure he got his owwn gossip creww to yammer to right_

_You Cant Assume These Things Eridan  
Its Impolite And Presumptuous And Frankly Rather Insulting To Sollux That You Would Out Him To His Friend Like That  
You Could Have Easily Waited For Me To Brag Your Conquest To And It Confounds Me As To Why You Couldnt Just Have Some Patience_

_wwhoa wwhoa noww hold on a fuckin moment kan  
i get wwhat youre sayin but all i told kar wwas i got laid an he figured out the rest  
all i did after that wwas fuckin confirm okay_

_That Isnt What Karkat Said  
He Gave Details_

_okay so i bragged after i confirmed but hes the one wwho managed to divvine the identity a my mystery lay  
he wwas the one wwho insisted on tryin to find out  
i wwas perfectly happy to let the matter lay but he kept on guessin_

_Well Then I Must Say That Either Karkat Is Very Astute Or Sollux Is Less Subtle In His Desires Than I Was Led To Believe_

_kar aint dumb kan frankly im insulted on his behalf youd insinuate such a thing  
but fine fine i wwont do any more confirmin an ill keep this hush hush although honestly if i wwas fuckin me id fuckin advvertise that shit_

_If You Were Fucking You Im Faintly Positive That You Would Never Leave Your Room Again_  
 _Never Again Would Your Red Violet Text Grace My Screen Or Your Harlequin Fanfiction Update  
Many A Tear Would Be Shed At The Loss_

 

_touché  
i mean that wwould be unfair a the twwo a me to go doin to a pal like that  
but you made your point i wwont go blabbin about anythin anymore_

_Good To See Youve Taken Something From My Solicitations_

_though noww as i think on it are you sure you aint just sore i didnt tell you first because i wwas goin to tell you too but you sleep in late on sundays an then i got busy doin other shit  
so sorry for leavvin you out a the loop there_

_I Assumed I Would Hear About It In Due Time  
I Do Hope Karkat Had The Common Sense That I Was The Only Person He Complained Of This Situation To  
I Worry For Solluxs Sake_

_fair enough  
but kar got sense in him  
im sure he only told you on account a you tippin him off to the wwhole ordeal i mean thats wwhy he wwas askin in the first place aint it_

_I Deny Any Involvement_

Eridan couldn’t help but snort; Kanaya’s response had come entirely too quickly.

_sure  
wwhatevver  
kar all a sudden out a the blue texts me makin sure i aint done anythin yet an the next day he asks me wwhat i wwas up to the night prior  
no invvolvvement indeed_

_I May Been Looking Out For Your Sake On That One_

_right  
you may be a wwell intentioned meddler but youre a meddler all the same_

_You Have Impulse Control Issues I Was Merely Trying To Assist Is All_

_yeah i got it ___

Eridan glanced at the clock. Oh thank god, he could rinse now. 

_hey look i got to go  
i been dyin my hair an its time for the rinse_

_Oh I Look Forward To Seeing It_

_tell you wwhat howw about tomorroww you an me grab dinner an wwe can catch up on wwhats goin on wwith you_

_That Sounds Lovely I Accept_

Eridan answered with a _swweet take it easy an see you then_ before signing off and shrugging off the jacket. He adjusted his computer's volume and turned on some music. He stretched his arms over his head as he stood and walked to the bathroom; Sollux was probably in class or something, and with no audience, he felt no shame in singing along as he bent over the sink and rinsed purple dye from his hair.

"Yo, I tell you what I want, what I really really want..."

==>

Sollux had unscrewed the left muff of his headphones, checking the interior for any issues that might have made the sound stop coming out of that speaker. Most days he'd been able to sit in his room without issue with his headphones on, but today as he was fixing them, he had no source to block out the obnoxious music Eridan had been playing off and on all afternoon. 

Was he actually playing the fucking Spice Girls of all things? 

The music that had been mildly annoying at first suddenly got louder as the sink ran. He placed his dismantled headphones down and went over to the bathroom door, opening it with a complaint on his lips that shriveled up at the sight before him.

Eridan, glasses off and eyes closed, was dancing in only a pair of slim black jeans as he toweled his hair out. His angled hips swiveled in perfect time, and his shoulder-blades flared and shifted under the skin of his back as he worked the towel over himself. Muffled, accented lyrics came from beneath the damp and purple-streaked towel, as Eridan's surprisingly graceful legs swept and stepped to the music.

"Well this is a thing that I really should've seen coming." deadpanned Sollux as he stood dumbly in the doorway, "Has anyone ever told you you dance like a stripper?"

Eridan turned and pulled the towel aside, squinting a little. "Why, you fixin' to slip me a tip?" he asked, smug as ever as he gyrated his way over.

Sollux held a hand up and poked Eridan's forehead, trying to appear indifferent, but also making note of the purple patch where was once blond, "Yeah, here's a tip. Turn your damn music down, or at least put something good on."

Eridan shrugged and wrapped the towel around his head and strode to his room, a swish in his hips; might as well give Sollux something to look at, right? He called back, "You stickin' around for a show?"

Sollux peered over the top of his glasses at Eridan's slim, freckled back for a moment before following him. He replied, as he leaned against Eridan’s doorjamb, "Why? You got more best of the worst of 1998 to throw at me?"

"Depends on your answer. If you're after a show, I'm apt to give you one you'd not soon forget; but otherwise I'll just play whatever the fuck tickles my fancy." Eridan looked over his shoulder at Sollux, a wicked grin forming. "Be fair, you only seen a tiny bit a what I can do. Nobody'd blame you if you said you was wantin' more."

A knot formed in Sollux’s chest, causing his heart to pound faster at the implication of "more". 

Sollux looked around Eridan's room; he'd never really gotten a good look around, but the awkward pause between the question and answer was the best time in Sollux's mind to check it out. It was the opposite mirrored set-up of Sollux's room; his bed in the right corner instead of the left, his desk across from the door which was on the opposite side. 

His dresser seemed to be arranged in such a way that he could fit a couch in here as well. The walls were the same plain gray as his own, but there the similarities ended. Eridan’s walls were graced with framed posters from obscure bands. 

Who even pays to get a fucking poster framed? Thought Sollux. 

His bed linens and décor items were all very expensive-looking and brightly-colored, not to mention relatively neat. Three scarves, each apparently having been selected to match the new purple patch in Eridan’s hair, were draped across his bed along with two shirts, one slate gray turtleneck and one pressed white button-down.

Sollux’s eyes swept over Eridan’s modest bookshelf, across a selection of framed photographs gracing the top; Flower, flower, black-and-white beer bottle, what the fuck? FF looking cute, obligatory tranquil pond… and back down, along Eridan’s desk, to the man himself, the source of all his discomfort, that sexy schmuck he simultaneously wanted nothing to do with and everything to be done by. 

Eridan left the music off, spinning his chair to face him, amused as he watched the conflict cross Sollux's face. 

Sollux sighed quickly, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, "We need some fucking boundaries."

Uh oh. That's not usually a statement that leads into sexy time. Eridan's expression sank a little, but hey, fair's fair, a guy needs some structure? Only a fucking moron doesn't give that to a guy he means to keep getting his hands on. "Okay, fair 'nuff. What've you got in mind?"

Sollux shifted against the doorframe, trying and failing to not stare at Eridan's chest, "Well, obviously no telling anyone."

Eridan shifted uncomfortably. "Okay, I can manage that. You won't find me tellin' a soul, unless I get your go-ahead." He paused, clearing his throat, hoping to word this genuinely while saving face, "Though, if by some chance, somebody happens to guess, I ain't about to go lyin' to my closest. That said, you'll have my total discretion from here on out. That fair?"

"No! You can't tell anyone!" Sollux's expression got rather intense before he took a deep breath, "Nobody knows I'm, you know... into this kind of thing." He looked as heart-achingly conflicted as he felt, gnawing his lower lip, frustrated gaze towards the ground, and his cheeks flushed.

Shit, a closet case. Eridan’s chest was tight with guilt as he stood and wheeled his chair over, "Yeah. Yeah, okay, just set yourself down an' breathe. Not one word is crossin' my lips on this topic, an' nobody's goin' to find out if I got say in it." 

For a brief moment, he remembered his own self-discovery some years earlier.

Sollux visibly seemed to relax, though he still felt tentative, "You mean it? No blackmail or fucking head-games?"

"Wow you got a fuckin' low opinion a me, don't you?" He patted Sollux on the shoulder, "You ain't the only one who seen a couple new an' confusin' revelations in his days." He brushed past him into the bathroom, untangling the towel from his head and putting his glasses back on. "I won't tell a soul from this moment on--you got my fuckin' word on that--but maybe _you_ ought to. If it wasn't for Fef an' the others, fuck, I can't say where I'd be now."

Without looking up, Sollux quietly answered, "I guess." His lisp was a bit more prominent in that reply, making it all the more adorable.

Eridan put his arm gently around Sollux, guiding him down to sit, his voice soft and understanding; "Here, sit down." Sollux huddled up in the chair, hugging his legs with his knees tucked under his chin.

Eridan sat down on the floor, looking up at Sollux, his new purple streak prominent in the damp, uncoiffed locks that drooped into Eridan’s eyes. "Anythin' else you want to lay down, in regards to ground rules? I got no mind to go lettin' it be said I can't keep a playmate happy."

Sollux inhaled slowly, looking towards the bathroom, "If we ever want to do anything, we should have some sort of knock or something on that door."

Eridan's lip twitched as a smirk fought to come forth; so he WAS still game. Awesome. 

"No problem. How about this: neither a us is all that interested in gettin' locked out a both bein' able t'use the toilet _and_ the possibility a gettin' laid, so maybe we ought to keep our doors unlocked. When either a us wants the bathroom we knock on our own bathroom door; an' if it's all clear, we can knock on each other's doors when we want to get a piece or whatever. How's that for fair, eh?"

Sollux nodded with a slight grin, "All right, that works. That'll fix the damn door locking problem too; I had to wait until like five the other day to shower from the last time!"

Eridan cleared his throat, "Yeah, sorry about that, though it ain't like you haven't done the same to me time an' again. Okay, anythin' else you need for comfort's sake?"

Sollux then looked him in the eye, "Look, just so you know, I'm not gay or anything."

"Me neither," Eridan shrugged. "Nothin' wrong with likin' both, anyway."

"Really?" He leaned back and cocked his head at Eridan, as though giving him a lookover for the first time. Truth told, he had actually forgotten Eridan was into women as well as men.

"How could there be? World's full a hot pieces a ass walkin' around, likin' both kinds only opens up more options, don't it?" Eridan gave Sollux a smoky look as he stood up, "Besides, ain't you enjoyed what we done? You want more, I just know it."

Sollux sort of chuckled, tilting his head to the side, slowly unfolding himself and standing to face Eridan, "Wouldn't exactly mind it. Sounds kind of fun." He tilted his head slightly with a smirk across his own lips.

Eridan licked his lips, a wicked grin blooming, "You know, for the life a me, I can't think of one single reason not to start workin' on that now. How 'bout you?"

He shook his head, breath shuddering against Eridan's mouth as he leaned in for a close-mouthed rub of their lips together.

Eridan hooked his fingers into Sollux's pockets, pulling him close. He moved his hands, placing one at the small of Sollux's back, the other squarely on his rear, and nipped at Sollux's lips.

Unsure of what to do with his arms, Sollux stood awkwardly before sliding his twitching fingers into Eridan's hair; smoothing out some of his jitters. He gripped the back of Eridan's head, one of his gnaw-jagged thumbnails grazing Eridan's ear in a mildly distracting manner. A throaty little sound came out of him as he began to kiss back as best as he could.

Eridan purred back, mashing his lips against Sollux's, tilting his head and cupping his chin with one hand.

Sollux relished the touch for a moment before pushing Eridan up against his bathroom door. Their chests pressed together as Sollux began laying rough, close-mouthed kisses on those lips with a low groan. Damn, he could really get used to this...

Eridan appreciated the initiative, but he pushed back, kissing him, his lips wet and open, a growl of his own building. His chest and back were still slightly damp from rinsing his hair. 

Eridan smelled of something reminiscent of a bonfire at the beach, hot and smoky and saltwater all at the same time. Sollux couldn't get enough of that scent, resting his hands on Eridan's shoulders and sucking gracelessly on his lower lip. The wet, sucking sound was quite apparent to the both of them.

Eridan winced, pulling away slightly, pushing Sollux from him just enough to get a word in, "Fuck, Sol, you get an A for enthusiasm, but you need work, man."

Half of Sollux's face scrunched up in an annoyed frown, "Fuck you."

"Hush your face. You want some practical lessons? Or don't you like the way I kiss?" 

He rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses before resting his elbows on the door behind Eridan, noses nearly touching, "Fine, whatever." So long as he could still get Eridan’s touch and scent and lips, he would be willing to listen and obey.

Eridan grinned, pulling Sollux's chin closer, "First, you kiss your grandmam with your lips closed. Me? You kiss me with 'em open. Got that?" He demonstrated, his lips slightly parted, pressed to Sollux's.

Sollux was a second away from talking back when those soft, soft lips were... mmmm... Sollux's eyes drifted shut at such a tender kiss, squirming only because a shiver of pleasure went right through his spine and down his legs.

Eridan gently tilted Sollux's head with one hand, finding a comfortable angle for both of them. He wrapped his other arm back around his waist, as he kissed and lightly sucked on Sollux's lower lip, tugging oh-so-gently and releasing it. "What I did just there? That's lesson two."

"Mmmm might need another demonstration, might forget." Sollux smirked, trying to keep his voice even and not completely like he was losing it. For the most part he succeeded, though his palms and fingers pressed harder against the door.

Eridan obliged, taking Sollux's lower lip between his own and sucking on it, this time adding a little nip of his teeth. His hand shifted to comfortably sit on the crest of Sollux's hip.

Sollux made the effort to not press his hips into Eridan's because like hell was he going to reveal that he was getting hard from this. It wasn't his fault Eridan had a dirty mouth and it was the first one he'd ever kissed...

Eridan pulled back, opening his eyes and licking his lips, "Think you got that so far?"

Sollux opened his eyes a moment after Eridan spoke, swallowing and nodding, almost salivating at the feel and idea of what Eridan was doing to him. This was seriously fun. He cracked a grin, "You teach a lot of people?"

"Nah, never met anybody what needed th'lesson near so bad as you," he chuckled. "Usin' your teeth--carefully a course--was lesson three. Ready for four?"

Sollux nodded a little too eagerly for someone with his particular attitude, leaning close again, close enough that, even through tinted lenses, Eridan could clearly make out which eye was blue.

Eridan smirked, pressing his lips back to Sollux's, letting his tongue circle the gap between Sollux's lips, one leg working between Sollux's. Sollux was caught completely off-guard, who gasped and shifted his bony shoulders with a quick gasp, opening his mouth wider.

Eridan took the opportunity and probed further with his tongue, tasting the flavor of Sollux, the sweet taste of his lip balm and the tang of Sollux himself. He swept his tongue across Sollux's teeth.

Sollux sort of cautiously slid his tongue along Eridan's, tilting his head slightly and breathing quickly.

Eridan purred encouragingly, flicking his tongue against Sollux's, before drawing his tongue away and back into his own mouth. He worked his hand around to cradle the back of Sollux's neck, holding him close.

Now slightly nervous, Sollux followed Eridan's lead and allowed himself to be brought closer to his mouth. Hands shaking, he let them rest on Eridan's shoulders once again, tongue licking along his, pulse pounding between their chests.

Eridan trapped Sollux's tongue with his lips, and, after a quiet chuckle, sucked lightly on it.

Sollux made a strangled little moan in his throat at the weird feeling, but not objecting it in the slightest. His eyes screwed tighter shut as he finally pressed his hips against his, giving away his half hardness.

Eridan ground his hip against Sollux and released his tongue, sweeping the point of his tongue across Sollux's upper lip before drawing away. "An' that's lesson number who-the-fuck-cares. Think you got the hang a it?"

Sollux shifted in place, letting his dick do the thinking for a while, "This is one thing you're good at."

"One a many." Eridan corrected, his voice low and smoky. "Think you're ready to show me what you learned, Sol?"

Sollux exhaled, then took another breath as he practically attacked Eridan's mouth. His tongue was now a bit more familiar with those smug lips and clever tongue, kisses becoming smoother even if his teeth were rather ungainly.

Eridan locked lips with Sollux, letting him take the lead, still cradling him close as Sollux bit and sucked at his lip. Sollux went more gently than he would like, but just in an effort to appease the guy and get the technique right, he took his time, rolling the soft, plump flesh between his lips with a soft groan.

"Mmmmm," Eridan returned, caressing Sollux's lips with his own and rocking his hips against him. Good boy. Very good student.

Sollux seemed to be almost quivering under Eridan's hands, hips pushing more insistently together. Sollux got even harder, pulling their lips apart just to kiss his deeply once again, letting his tongue slickly circling the other.

Eridan let his tongue dance with Sollux's, pressing him backwards, guiding him backwards toward Sollux's room. One hand kneaded Sollux's hip, the other tangled in Sollux's hair.

Sollux allowed himself to be led, hands on Eridan's back once again and gripping his shirt. More more he wanted more; he wouldn't allow those lips more than an inch from his without a firm peck upon them. He arched his neck in the efforts to taste Eridan's tongue again.

Eridan pushed Sollux back down onto the bed, crawling over him and licking Sollux's lips, a thin strand of saliva connected their wet mouths, breaking as Eridan spoke, "I think you got the hang a it, don't you?"

Sollux nodded, eyes closed, "Mmmmnnnn..." His tongue peeked out shyly to toy with Eridan's once again.

"Knew this was a good idea." Eridan flicked Sollux's tongue lightly with his own. "How about some a the more advanced stuff? You game for that?" He kissed Sollux, just below the jaw, under his ear, nipping lightly with his teeth.

Sollux tilted his head up, trying to keep those lips as close as he could to his rapidly reddening flesh, "I'm a fast learner... what else you got?" 

Eridan nibbled his way down, tugging the collar of Sollux's loose tee shirt down enough to expose the collarbone. He sucked just above it, in the hollow by the base of his neck. 

Sollux seemed to nearly melt into his bed, body relaxing and neck tensing. He breathed in softly, a nudging little moan in his voice as his legs spread to allow Eridan in between them.

Eridan pressed himself closer, sucking a red welt into Sollux's, marking his territory. One hand worked under Sollux's shirt to feel along the base of his ribs.

Sollux's body quivered slightly in a repressed way at the touches upon his ribs. His hips rose fluidly in spite of a breathy groan, "That tickles..."

Ticklish, eh? Eridan filed away that bit of trivia for later, instead opting to use a firm touch, tracing his thumb along the jut of bone as he pulled his lips away. "Think you got the idea so far?"

Sollux flinched once again, flesh sensitive and ticklish where Eridan touched, "That thing you did with my tongue was kind of weird though..."

"You didn' care for it? Cause you seemed t'be pretty into it at the time," Eridan leaned low, flicking Sollux's earlobe with his tongue and murmuring, "An' I'd hate to deprive you."

"Nnhn...! D-didn't say I didn't like it..." The stutter was new. Sollux just kept exposing more and more of his weaknesses the more he was touched. He exhaled with a tiny, barely repressed whimper.

Eridan licked his lips, considering for a moment. Sollux was a puzzle, all of these little ways to turn him on made him easy to unlock, but still so fun to master. Makes a man want to find all his secret needs.

Still, in the interests of improving future makeouts..."D'you want to try it on me?"

"Sure, I guess..." His words suggested nonchalance, but his tone was all curiosity and apprehension. He lifted himself up onto his elbows and let his mouth meet Eridan's once more, lips parted and moist. 

Sollux made a soft sound in his throat, seemingly enjoying the feel of Eridan's mouth, experimenting with the feel of their lips melded together. Sollux exhaled softly with a shudder; they were so soft, he could barely take it, he didn't know how he could've gotten through puberty without kissing like this...

His tongue then coiled out against Eridan's lower lip with a shy lick.

Eridan answered him with a flick of his tongue against Sollux's, his hand cradling the back of Sollux's head.

Sollux was made to open his mouth more, heart pounding as he took the tip of Eridan's tongue between his lips. He gave a slow, shy suck upon it, pulling back only to try it again, taking more in.

"Mmmmm," Eridan purred, encouragingly. The shyness was cute and all, but he wanted Sollux to get confident enough to take the initiative...to a point, anyway. 

The act was intimate in a strange way, not really what he'd imagine a kiss could be like. Undoubtedly sexual. Sollux squirmed just a little bit, sucking more, not stopping as his skin grew hotter at the kiss. He moaned against Eridan's mouth and pulled back, blushing more. He looked up at Eridan, craving his satisfaction. He had done well, hadn’t he? Learned the tricks? At this moment, he wanted little more than Eridan’s hearty approval.

Be damned if he’d admit it out loud, though.

Eridan followed Sollux with a quick peck to the lips. "Fuck, you ain't half bad, Sol. Lessons are over, an' you're qualified to take that shit out into the field."

Sollux tried to regain his outwards composure, despite his flushed face and fluttering insides, "Good to know I've got your A-OK. Do I get a certificate or a seal or something?"

"I'll print you one later. For now," Eridan pressed his lips to Sollux's once more, pulling away and grinning his smug grin, "I'll seal it with a kiss."

Sollux rose an eyebrow as soon as Eridan pulled away, "That was both horrifically corny and unbelievably gay."

Eridan laughed, "Is that any way to thank a guy who taught you to suck face like an ace? No gratitude, I swear..." Eridan stood, offering a hand to help Sollux up. "Admit it, you like how I done that."

"Good to know I got the verification when someone actually wants to kiss me." Sollux sat up halfway, licking the side of his mouth.

"Hey, you know who you can practice with." Eridan grinned, "An' believe me, it takes a lot a practice. Loads a practice really, but I got a notion we can whip you into somethin' damn near perfect."

"Don't think I'm opposed. Especially since it shuts you up long enough to be something fun." Sollux stood up and made his way to his door.

Eridan laughed, turning and heading for the bathroom door, "That's right, Sol, sass me up, but we both know you like the shit that comes out a my mouth near as much as the other things I can do with it."

Sollux just made a face and punched Eridan's shoulder, choosing to not incriminate himself further. A fraction of a second later, however, he realized that he just did exactly that.

Eridan simply laughed again and shut Sollux's door behind him. He gave his hair one quick check in the bathroom mirror, feeling satisfied with his afternoon.


	4. >Sollux: Untangle yarn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein everything is tangled because Sollux can't shut his snark off and Nepeta can't keep out of Aradia's yarn pile.

A near decade of untangling wires had prepared Sollux's fingers for the sheer amount of yarn that Aradia expected him to untangle for her, "What the hell do you have so much yarn for here in your dorm anyway?"

"Knitting. Crochet. Throwing at Nepeta. It's always good to have a soft projectile around," Aradia said, picking through her bin of yarn scraps. Larger balls and hanks were stored separately with some level of organization, but the remnant bin was a perpetually tangled heap of loose strands and smallish balls of every kind of yarn; from brightly dyed wool from her family’s livestock and soft and muted cotton and bamboo, to recycled silk and reclaimed yarn unraveled from old tacky thrift-store sweaters; from thick bulky ropes of synthetic fibers to strands nearly as fine as thread. 

She picked out a rainbow string and started to wind it around her fingers, forming the seed of a ball. "I don't need much for this, but I want a good color."

"Good color for what? You making your new epic-level boyfriend something?" He stubbornly picked at a few tight knots, glaring before hunkering down and staring it down. He'd long since removed his sunglasses just to get through the chore more easily.

"Emma's birthday's coming up and I asked her if she wanted anything. She's a pretty good boss, after all! Anyway, she asked me for a doll to scare people with; I think I'm getting a reputation..." Aradia untangled a knot, freeing the rainbow strand, and she finished off the ball at only about two inches in diameter. She picked at another string.

"Happy goth girl inexplicably full of sunshine and is good with children and animals? That's what springs to mind for me." He groaned and dropped the pile he was working on, picking up another one instead. He leaned over once again with a scowl at the stupid pile of soft.

Aradia patiently worked a short blue yarn out of the pile, hardly long enough to even roll into a ball. "Mostly about spooky stuff. Lauren keeps asking me to do readings about her girlfriend, and--did I tell you that last night Connor brought in a ouija board? He insisted on spelling out his order with it. You want to come in for coffee on your day off, fine, but there's no need to be a dick!"

His head cocked slightly as he tried to listen and untangle at the same time, "Pfft. That's stupid, what the hell did he do that for? Was he drinking for the ghosts or some shit?"

"He only did it to make fun of me since I told him I take that stuff seriously. That, and Emma likes me more, but hey, not my fault he comes in late so often!" She picked out a tan-colored yarn, "How about this one? It's kind of coffee-colored."

Without looking up, he pointed at her, "Make it look like that Connor dick and shove a bunch of pins in it."

"I totally should!" she laughed, setting the ball aside and picking through the bin, "Maybe not the pins, but I can make a mini-effigy. I need something lighter though…see anything really pale? I need some black, too. Emo black."

"Venom black. Batman black. Emo Peter Parker in Spiderman 3 black..." Sollux dug around looking for a black, loose end, and naturally it was all stuck together with the white yarn in an angry yin-yang snarl, "Fuck! Dammit Aradia, why can't you just keep this stuff organized or something?"

Aradia pointed to her dresser. "Bottom drawer. Take a look."

Sollux inched over and opened the drawer. Inside, next to a few finished projects were dozens of small balls and hanks of bundled yarn, as well as a wide selection of knitting needles and crochet hooks. 

"See? Organized-ish."

"If you got so much of this stuff in here why am I- oh fuck it." He dropped his pile and laid out on his back, "You've beaten me."

"Why would I want to use up a neat ball when I could just use scrap yarn? Waste not, want not." She tossed a ball of purple eyelash yarn to Sollux. "Can you hold onto the untangled ones, at least?"

"Sure." Sollux felt around blindly beside him to see if he could find one of his neatly wound piles without getting up.

Aradia leaned over and pulled at a cream-colored yarn from Sollux's pile, beginning to make a ball of it. "Thanks. So how's things with you?"

"Classes are fine except for Writing," Sollux remained on his back, "Still hate that whole 'well-rounded' bullshit this place tries to enforce on your schedule. Everything would be so easy without that fucking class."

"How about your bathroom buddy? You haven't complained about him all day," she said, delicately working her fingers through a particularly stubborn knot.

"We’ve reached an impasse." Sollux tried to sound casual and for the most part pulled it off, if he did say so himself.

Aradia looked up, eyebrow quirked, "Don't tell me you're peeing out the window."

"No!" Sollux sat up, trying to think for a second, "We, uh... leave sticky notes." Smooth.

She breathed a little sigh of relief, "Hey, as long as it's resolved, right?"

Sollux thought back to what Eridan had said; about how he should tell someone. Who better than Aradia? It wasn't like she would judge or anything but- no. That would require acknowledgment or at least intent and he wasn't sure- no. Dammit Sollux say something, he thought angrily. 

"Um, Aradia, mind if I ask you something?"

"Shoot." She did not bother to look up, working the tangle out inch by inch.

“So..." Heart pounding, fingers twitching, he slowly asked, "How are things with Mr. Epic?"

“Equius,” She corrected, eyes remained fixed on her task but her lips spread into a huge smile, "I don't know if I can call him my boyfriend yet, but things are going really well! We've been talking every day for the last four days, either by text or in person, another date the day after tomorrow...I like him a lot! Don't know where we're going, though..." 

Sollux didn’t hear a word of what she said, his heart thudded with anxiety. Could he even actually say anything about this? This was a slippery slope of shit that he had no noseplugs for and he just couldn’t- 

"I... I think that's great, lambchop. Seriously. Keep up the good work." He gave a thumbs-up and a grin.

Aradia looked up, curious and slightly concerned; something was off, she knew it. Before could ask what was really on his mind, however, they both heard a key in the lock. 

Nepeta opened the door, dragging her bag behind her; she was wearing her favorite hoodie, calico-spotted with ears stitched into the hood. She offered a weary greeting and left her bag by the door, stepping over the yarn tangle on the floor to flop face-first onto her bed. 

This served as a good enough distraction to cause Sollux to clam up. He rolled over and sat up against Aradia's dresser, "Uh, yeah. So there's that." Good job, you dumbass, Sollux thought to himself.

"You okay, Neppers?" Aradia asked, ignoring the yarn in her hands for the moment.

"Yeah, just...Chemistry. Chemistry's a jerk." She rolled over and sat up, looking defeated. "Well, my Chemistry teacher's a jerk, anyway. Screw him."

Sollux cleared his throat, bearings suddenly back at full blast, "If he wasn’t a smug shitstain, he’d be doing his school a disservice by not killing the spirit of the nonmajors. Although chemistry is really just a bunch of memorizing chains of reactions so if you don’t get it, it’s all on you." 

Aradia set aside the yarn and crawled over to sit beside Nepeta, "What happened?" 

Nepeta slid down to the floor and rested her head on Aradia's shoulder; "It's not like I'm not trying! I am! Really! Okay, so, I had trouble understanding something, right? I read the book, I take notes, I just...don't get Chemistry! So, I usually get help from the TA, but she wasn't in so I asked the teacher after class, and he _laughed_ at me! He said that I shouldn't be paying for the course if I'm not willing to do the work, but I'm doing the work! I'm just not _getting the material!_ " 

"That's especially screwed up," Sollux sat up completely, "Set his car on fire. Or his office door."

Aradia pulled back Nepeta's hood and pet her hair, "Report him to the department. Do you want me to go with you?"

Nepeta shook her head, "I'll go tomorrow. I just don't want to think about it right now." She sighed and sat up; she saw the spread of yarn across the floor, and a small smile twitched at the corners of her lips, and she crawled over to bury her fingers into the soft pile. 

Sollux pointed at her, "Hey, you like yarn right? Lambchop, you should get her to untangle it, she's probably better at it, right?"

Aradia scooted back over and took up the cream-colored strand again, as Nepeta rubbed her face against a handful of particularly soft yarn, making a pleased hum. 

"I think Kitten here might be why my yarn bin is so tangled."

Sollux's eyebrows rose, "Seriously? An entire campus bustling with life and your own laptop with internet access and you're off playing with yarn?"

"Sometimes you have a really rough day, you know? And if Equius and Aradia are busy, the next best thing is talking to internet friends in the yarn pile." 

Aradia shook her head, but smiled, "Okay, so help me get it sorted out. It'll give you something else to think about."

Nepeta sat up and started untangling some lightweight sock yarn.

Aradia worked out another tangle in the cream yarn, adding, "And if you see any black, I need that. I might need your sewing kit later, too, is that cool?"

"Sure. Making something in particular?" Nepeta asked, turning to the selfsame black and white snarl Sollux had given up on before.

Given how his duties had been pushed onto someone else for now, Sollux idled with his phone, "She's making a voodoo doll of a guy she hates for her boss who also hates him."

Nepeta looked over at Aradia, "Ohhh. Connor?" 

"Yep. Emma wants a string doll, and it's no biggie to slap on some black hair and a frowny-face on it." 

"Then once a keychain goes on its head or something the guy's going to lose his skull cap and die all because of your non-magic shit."

"That's not how doll magic works at all! In most cultures that use it, it's primarily for healing and--aagh, does _nobody_ take the time to get their facts straight?" Aradia flopped backwards on the floor. She rolled up the freed yarn into a ball, thankfully the rest was easier going. 

"I get my facts straight about things that are relevant to me. Like actual facts, not spooky crazy voodoo stuff." Sollux slid his glasses back on temporarily.

Aradia looked over to Nepeta. "Throw something at him, will you?"

Nepeta clutched at the yarn balls near her, "Noooo, they are the precioussss." She worked the black yarn into a ball and worked on another tangle. "You gotta do something about Connor, though. He picks on you so much, oh geez! What if he's flirting with you?"

Sollux shut his phone with a click and stared, "Do you think everything's about relationships, NP?"

"But what if?" she protested.

Aradia sat up, "Doesn't matter, I'm not interested." She stood up and hopped over the yarn pile to Nepeta's dresser and pulled out her sewing kit from the bottom drawer. She went back to her spot on the floor and plopped down. "Hey, Sollux, mind passing me that bit of cardboard?" she asked, pointing to a small flattened box.

He looked around a moment, locating the cardboard and handing over to her, “What are you doing now?”

Aradia put five pins in the cardboard and started looping the cream yarn into a star, "Making the doll. First you make a frame where the little head and limbs go, then you wrap more yarn around, secure with thread or glue, and add details." She knotted the center and began to wind yarn around one of the limbs, "What do you think, Neppers, frowny face or angry eyebrows?"

"Angry brows." Nepeta rolled over a small finished black ball, and began to work on a second black snarl of yarn. 

"You should go the other way, make it look stupidly retarded looking. Have the eyes looking different directions." Sollux gestured to his own eyes.

"Hmm, maybe," Aradia said, finishing a limb and moving on to the next. She sat quietly for a moment, thinking and winding, and spoke as she finished the body and began to build a ball for the head, "I wouldn't mind Connor if he'd just leave me alone. I wonder if Equius could scare him off? Nothing big, just get him to not be a schmuck, you know?"

Nepeta giggled, "No way! You should have Equius pick him up, throw him out of the shop, then toss you over his shoulder and carry you off into the sunset! We just need a film crew, a wind machine, a thoroughbred, and maybe a violinist. No, a whole band; no sense in cutting corners."

"Save it for her birthday. It'd literally make her life until she finds dinosaur bones behind her dorm."

Aradia rolled her eyes and snipped off the yarn, tucking in the ends. She picked up the black yarn and began to wind around the body, forming shirt and pants; "Ha ha ha, very droll. I'd ask if you're done having a laugh at my expense, but I know you aren't."

"It's not my fault that I'm hilarious and you're not appreciating it. I give you this material for free and you let it flutter asunder through the breeze and get stuck in a goddamn tree,” His voice suddenly turned into his mom’s, “Ungrateful as a Jewish boy who doesn’t cawll his motha."

Aradia rolled her eyes, a begrudging smile on her lips, and Nepeta grinned, "He totally could scare anybody off, though." She turned to Sollux, "He's huge!"

"When am I meeting this guy anyway? It feels like you two keep coming up with crazy ways to describe him." Sollux flapped his right hand about as he spoke.

"You mean like in Mean Girls?" Aradia giggled.

Nepeta chimed in, "I heard his hair is insured for ten thousand dollars!"

Aradia pointed, "I heard he does car commercials."

Nepeta and she then spoke in unison, "In Japan!" 

Both girls laughed at their joke as Sollux stared blankly, "Nope. Not even going to think on that one."

Aradia snickered as she threaded a needle and sewed the yarn end in place. "Seriously, though, if things go well I'll totally introduce you."

"I assure you, I'm waiting with bated breath."

Nepeta rolled her eyes, "Your excitement is palpable. Equius is a great guy, though! He's been my best friend since I was a kid; he used to seem scary and everything, even when he was a scrawny kid, you know? But get under that and he's really caring and pretty fun to hang around with."

"Him? Scrawny? You're kidding." Aradia fished a yarn needle out of Nepeta's sewing kit and threaded black yarn onto the doll's head.

"I'm serious!" Nepeta protested, no longer bothering to untangle yarn, instead working her fingers through a wad of yarn just for the plush feel of it. "When I met him he all was scrawny and sickly and all depressed; though, he still was kind of imposing and he didn't really know his own strength, you know? He started working out when I was maybe ten, so I guess he was thirteenish? After that he got a lot bulkier."

"So theoretically your kids would either be ridiculously built or a bunch of twigs. And they'd all yap in Spanish into oblivion."

"It's a bit early to start thinking about that, isn't it?" Aradia said, bemused, as she finished the doll's hair; little knots of close-cropped black yarn spiked up across the top and back of the doll's head. Two eyes, knots with the ends threaded into the doll's head, and she'd be done!

"You've got time! That's what the pill is for." Nepeta shrugged.

A fierce blush burst across Aradia's face, "NEPETA!”

Sollux's head jerked up, eyes widening as he looked to Aradia, "Really?"

She fidgeted with the doll, cheeks burning, "I...it just seemed like a good idea! I mean, it's better to be safe than sorry, right? Not that I plan to just yet...not, not that I'm against the idea! I mean, I just want to get to know someone before I sleep with them..." she rambled, staring intently at the yarn pile.

Sollux rose an eyebrow, "You know, you could've used the myriad of other fine excuses girls use for going on the pill like 'it regulates my period' or 'it helps with my acne'! Way to miss a viable opportunity to not look filthy, AA."

Aradia leaned forward, hiding her face in her hands and in her hair, and Nepeta threw a hank of yarn at him. "Way to be a jerk, Sollux." She crawled over and patted Aradia on the back.

Sollux shrugged, "Hey, no judgments here. What you do with your poontang is all your business."

"Darn right it is! And if she wants to jump him the next time she sees him, that's fine; and if she wants to wait for the third or even the fourth date, that's fine too!"

“Please, just…stop helping…” Aradia groaned.

"How is this NOT awkward for you to be talking about?" Sollux asked, pulling up his knees, spread, and resting his elbows on them.

Nepeta canted her head, "I don't follow."

"You've known that guy forever, right? And you have zero weridnesses about talking about him potentially getting Aradia's choice ass? No offense, lambchop."

Aradia parted her hair and peeked out, "None taken."

"Yeah, but, it's not like we're siblings. We're pals and confidants." Nepeta looped her arm over Aradia's shoulder, "Before I met Aradia, he was the one I told all my secrets to. Mind you, he always had things to say about how I'd 'comport' myself," she added air-quotes with her fingers, "But he always listened and sometimes gives good advice. We're close like that."

"So you're team leader for Team Equius then, I assume? If there's no possibilities of Ara-spawn running around and things capsize within two weeks, let it be known I'm on team Aradia and I'll be notifying the next of kin in the bloody aftermath."

Aradia flopped over onto her side, "You guys aren't helping! Sollux, do you _have_ to be so pessimistic?"

“Eh, maybe you're right. Maybe you'll end up with like 5 kids and live in the countryside. He'll wear a sweater vest. Pipes and puppies might be involved as well."

"We've been dating a week!" Aradia groaned, kicking her legs in embarrassment and exasperation. "It doesn't have to end up the freaking Cleaver family to go well, but you don't really have to throw your doom-saying in everywhere either, do you?"

"Fine, whatever, I'll keep my mouth shut and you can go on with your voodoo dolls and yarn untangling. As though that isn't a page out of the book of Cleaver."

Aradia sat up and tossed the doll onto her nightstand. "Sollux, you know I love you like a brother, but sometimes I swear it seems like you're waiting for the good things in my life to get peed on." She stood up and stretched her back, and sat on the bed. "And I think I'm giving up on the yarn for today."

"All right, is that my cue to leave?" Sollux asked, making his way to his feet.

"It doesn't have to be, you know you’re welcome to stay a while! But if you've got somewhere to be, I won't keep you," she said, as Nepeta took the opportunity to dive face-first into the yarn again.

Sollux gave the content girl in the pile a look, "I just might do that. I'll see you around lambchop, NP."

Nepeta rolled in the pile and waved, "See you next time!"

Aradia saw Sollux to the door, and walked a little ways with him down the hallway. She stopped, a few yards from the elevator, “Hey, Sollux?”

Sollux stopped and turned to her, “Yeah?”

She put a hand on his shoulder, “Before Nepeta came in, I kind of got a sense something’s on your mind. You know you can always talk to me, right?”

I fooled around with my douchebag stripper-wannabe suitemate. I plan to do it again. Or, well, he plans to fuck me and I plan to let him, or…shit. Sollux said none of these things, but slipped his hands into his pockets and looked away slightly. “I know, just…I promise, if I have a problem, I’ll let you know, ‘kay?”

That was probably the best she could get out of him, and she knew it. Aradia nodded, and wrapped him up in a hug. “Okay, it’s a promise.”  
He put his arms around her and gradually relaxed. After a moment, he chuckled, “In spite of anything I might have said for the sake of hilarity, I actually am kind of happy for you, you know.”

Aradia gave him another squeeze and released him, smiling, “Yeah, thanks.”

Sollux gave her a little pat on the head and turned, strolling down the hallway, “And hell, let me know when you do get laid, lambykins, we’ll get celebratory pancakes and gossip, maybe go shopping, do each other’s hair...”

Aradia balled up her fists and blew a raspberry after him, and he laughed as he stepped into the elevator. She turned, snickering and shaking her head, and went back to her own room to watch a catgirl frolic in the yarn pile.


	5. >Equius: Volunteer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Equius and Aradia have a pleasant date desipte uncultured swine

"I volunteer." Equius' hand was raised briefly before he stood.

"Oh, a-all right then?" said the foppish young man in the green peacoat and scarf who orchestrated the evening’s line-up, though by the time he had finished his statement Equius had already gotten up and brushed past him to approach the makeshift stage.

His idea for his second date with Aradia was to bring the both of them to a local underground cafe that featured a slam poetry reading every week. He approached the microphone, gripping it roughly in his fist.

Aradia applauded politely as he reached the stage, and rested her chin in her hands. Equius the poet! How could she think less? So cultured, so noble in his bearing; although a man of few words in speech, of course he would be artful and poignant in written verse. She sat in rapt attention, smiling brightly towards him.

The way he cleared his throat was more of a growl than intended, causing a few distempered murmured and jolts from those closest to the stage. His voice was deep and resonant, as he began,

“The body is a temple, so sacred and true,  
A vessel, heaven sent, for traversing this plain,  
And care must be meted as it may be due,  
For the body is strong, when properly trained;  
The strength of the mind, the strength of the soul,  
Are limited by the whims of this mortal coil,  
So, with diligence done, as with an uncultured foal,  
Do we mind our husks, of God, clay, and soil;  
If proper care rendered, and spirit is willing,  
And exercise rendered with exhaustive rigor,  
We shall find creatures so wanton and thrilling  
Ripe with virility, passion, and vigor;  
Strong as a stallion, and equally driven,  
The body is a temple, and tribute is given."

That...was a poem, alright, although Aradia was not entirely sure what to make of it. There was conviction and passion in his voice, though, and that alone was compelling. She clapped politely, as did a few others in the audience.

Plebeians, the whole lot of them, Equius thought as his gaze scanned the audience. Clearly they were unable to understand his verse's depth and meaning. All they were looking for was sobbing, gut-wrenching emotional trysts laced with the form of heartbreak. 

His work was life and STRENGTH, a much harder topic to grasp than what these fools could! Equius looked from left to right, pointing his face just so for those in the audience to be able to tell where he was looking. He then walked back toward his seat and placed himself back beside Aradia.

Aradia scooted her chair a little closer to his. "That was really something! I have to say, I liked your delivery even more than the poem itself," she said, quite honestly.

“Passion is an important factor in how the art of poetry is extracted and in turn spread to the masses. It's quite vexing." Equius remained upright and stiff until he felt the welcome pressure of his knee against her soft thigh. He could feel his composure begin to thaw.

"True, and your passion certainly shows through!" Aradia wound her arm around his, and took a sip of her coffee. The room was dimly lit, most tables speckled with patrons. In the far corner, however, sat a closely bundled flock of goatees and mustaches; one such bearded fellow stood and approached the stage. Aradia nuzzled into Equius's shoulder as the man behind the beard unfolded a paper from his pocket and began to read off a letter to Santa on behalf of a turtle. 

Aradia listened for a moment, before quietly confiding, "I think some poetry is a little over my head, though."

Equius observed the poet with a slow nod, "There is little quality at this establishment today; I apologize."

“Not your fault, and your poem definitely improved the average, so far," Aradia said, again quite honestly. They had arrived in time to catch the tail end of an off-key Bob Dylan medley, and sat through an extensive rant-saga decrying the evils of the government which did not inspire Aradia, so much as make her envision the speaker in a tin-foil Stetson around the time the phrase "printed money has been laced with mood altering barbiturates" was used with complete sincerity.

Aradia looked to her coffee, a somewhat disappointing brew, and quietly suggested, "I'm not sure it's going to get any better. Want to make a run for it?"

Equius made a quiet sound of contemplation, "We shall."

They grabbed their coats and he took her by the wrist, leading her through the row of seated patrons, only half of whom sat enraptured by the performance before them.  
Outside in the chill evening air, Aradia slipped on her coat; a simple black coat that well suited her charcoal skirt and black top. "So, if it's all the same, I kind of don't want to go home just yet. Any ideas?"

"Were you interested, I'm sure we could find something else to suit our interests in the town?" This had been the only venture he could think of for the both of them, but naturally it had been undone by uncultured swine.

Shrugging, Aradia took his hand, "I just want to spend time with you. I'm not picky about where or how. Want to just go for a walk?"

"Yes, that's an excellent choice." Equius was about to bound forward with his usual broad stride, but recanted that thought in favor of walking beside her. 

His arm slid around her waist snugly and he allowed himself a more stunted, delayed stride beside her. He glanced down at her, beautiful in the low light. Her lips were painted as always, and…oh dear, from this angle her black button-up blouse did not hide her cleavage so much as frame it. He tore his eyes away, though the image played in his mind, whether he will it or not.

Aradia wrapped her arm around his waist in turn, and pressed against him as they strolled along the sidewalk. "Have you been writing long?" she asked.

"The arts have always been an important fixture in my life," Equius responded, "Ever since I was young."

"Oh? Do you have the same," Aradia paused, looking for the right words, "...passion for other fields of art, or is written word your favorite?" 

"I consider robotics and circuitry a form of art in itself. My poetry is secondary to that." 

Aradia nodded, "I don't know much about robotics, but to hear Sollux talk about hardware and code, I definitely get the sense there's some serious craftsmanship within the science. And I'm sure you do that quite well." She smiled up at him as they passed by a bakery that had shut down for the night, the ovens long since gone cold. "When did you get into that? Or have you always had a gift for technology? I can't help but wonder after what childhood might have been like for you, and I'm curious about your family as well. Oh, but am I asking too many questions?"

"You will limit your questions to two at the most at a time," He began sharply before clearing his throat in the same sort of growling way he did earlier, voice softening afterward, "Strictly so I can answer properly, you see." In truth, he certainly did not mind the sweet girl’s curiosity. The thought that Aradia, beauty among beauties, could wish to know him so well…he was truly a lucky man.

Aradia startled slightly, though she supposed she could certainly accommodate such a request. "Okay, well, no harm in starting with your family, right?"

For a brief moment Equius paused. How could she not know-? "The Zahhak family is a noble, proud name and we do little to tarnish it. We've made our money and live freely as socialites are wont to do."

She thought for a moment, "Not ringing a bell off-hand, but I kind of meant more like, parents, siblings, childhood pets, that kind of thing. I mean, I've gathered you're kind of well off, Nepeta says you're pretty well off and everything I've seen supports that, but I guess I'm more interested in the 'Equius' than the 'Zahhak' part, if that makes sense," she said, before hastily adding, "Not that I'm diminishing your proud heritage, of course!"

Equius thought for a moment; so she was not after him for his name? His family’s money was not the attraction? Of course not, how could he think such a thing…Aradia, low-class though she may have been born, was no gold-digging harlot. Truly, she must have been born to the wrong parents; ah, but if she had been raised properly, and taught in aristocratic ways, she would be a lady that would turn the heads and win the admiration of every man of worth!

Though, he thought as he glanced down at her again, who was he to say she was not already, even despite her low birth?

He was contemplative of his answer before responding, "There is little to me which I have no already disclosed to you. The most recent of these facts is my folly with noble art of archery."

“And I'm sure you could get the hang of it, with time," she said, patting his side comfortingly. "But as far as your family goes, I've only been able to figure out that you _have_ one. Do you have brothers or sisters? What are your parents like?"

He sighed through his nose, "I have a sister and a brother, both older. My parents have both made each of our lives their priority strictly for the purpose of having a portrait worthy of our gout."

"It sounds like you aren't very close to any of them."

"My life wasn't uncomfortable in any capacity, anything that I needed was provided for me. Including my apartment."

Aradia nodded again, and pondered the best way to broach the topic, "You mentioned being sick as a kid, right? I bet it was really rough. Does that run in your family, or...?"

"If it does, I'm not aware of it. Due to my condition, I was seen as an invalid for a long time."

"Nepeta said that's why you started working out. Is that so?" she asked, quietly, as they waited at a crosswalk.

His grip on her loosened slightly as he answered quietly, "Yes. I was unfit for most anything for a great amount of time. I started working out in order to become strong and well."  
"You're strong and healthy now, and that's what matters," Aradia said, releasing his waist to tug him down for a kiss. "Pretty handsome, too, but that's just a nice bonus.

Surprised by her impulsive kiss, he accepted and returned the touch of those soft lips. He then pulled back, nodding quickly, "It's true. What I have now is more important than what I was then."

She resumed her place, latched to his side, as they crossed the street. "Though, just because you might be unwell or something doesn't make anyone less important. I have a friend, he got hurt bad when we were kids, and he got depressed a lot because of it, but that never made him not important, you know?"

"Is he an invalid?" Equius asked, bluntly.

Aradia shot him a look, "He's better now, if that's what you're asking. Walks and everything, but he couldn't for a long time."

He nodded, "I see. That's a most fortunate situation. Clearly he is one of great strength himself."

Aradia grinned, "He is; sometimes I think he doesn't even realize how strong he is. Growing up, Tavros and Sollux were like brothers to me; good thing, too, I'm an only child and I needed someone to get in trouble with, haha!"

Equius' lips quirked up at the side, "You must have been a most rambunctious child, weren't you?"

"I like to think I still am. Maybe not a child, but certainly rambunctious, definitely a troublemaker, possibly a rabble-rouser, and absolutely feisty." Aradia gave him a mischievous grin, "Couldn't you tell?"

He nodded, only having half heard what she said. For as she spoke, shamefully, he began to think about how feisty she could be beneath him- the sight of that black hair strewn across his pillow as she teased him with more of those words. No--if she was on top of him telling him how filthy he was for thinking these things about her while they were in public of all things!

He breathed deeply for just a moment before leaning down and kissing the side of her head, just to the side of her ear once, then once again as he inhaled her scent.

Aradia nuzzled into his kiss, pulling him close to her. Before he could pull back, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips.

She wanted this? Oh, so most certainly did she want this. He pulled her closer to the building and held her entirely in his arms, deepening the kiss that she had pressed upon him. He parted their lips, the point of his tongue tripping on her lower lip before entwining with hers.

She gave a soft hum, her arms about his neck and keeping him close to her as she drank in the lingering flavor of black coffee on his tongue.

Back flat against the building, Equius allowed her to have the dominant position before him. His hands molded down her form as much as he was capable through her jacket. Damn their locale! He fisted his hands into the fabric and held onto her hips, withdrawing his mouth from hers briefly.

One hand scratched though Equius's hair as Aradia pushed back for another kiss. The walk was dimly lit and bereft of people, but Aradia could not say with true confidence that a stadium audience would have kept her from laying her tongue to his lips again.

Oh yes, the dominance and power he felt from the more petite girl was intoxicating. Equius panted through his nose at the debauchery she was dragging him through by her wiles and her grace. The tendons of his throat tightened before his teeth tugged at her lower lip.

Another soft groan, and she flicked her tongue against his upper lip, as one hand happened to graze his ear as the other traced down his neck towards his chest. God, the fire in him, it was intoxicating, it was contagious, it was delicious and wonderful and coffee-flavored...

It was too much, too good, too public! Suddenly, Equius quickly drew back with a short intake of breath, "Aradia, we must go. Simply because it's unseemly of us to behave in such a way here..." His forehead was misted with sweat in spite of the cool air.

She whimpered and pressed to his chest, but nodded, "You're...you're right, of course. Sorry, got a little carried away there? Hahaha..." She cleared her throat and straightened her jacket, then took his hand, "Um, so...back...to the car?"

He swiped his sleeve across his forehead with a grunt and a nod, "Yes, I parked further down this way." He began to walk down the street, the feel of her lips burned into his system and leaving him in dire need for more. But there was time. He needed patience and discipline before pursuing her further.

Slightly embarrassed, Aradia walked beside him, keeping her racing thoughts to herself. Her cheeks were slightly red, she would glance at Equius, now at his face, now at his chest, now sneaking a peek at his rear, and now back up to his lips again, her cheeks growing ever redder. Before long she realized her gaze had drifted down to just below is belt, and she locked her eyes forward, simply walking quietly alongside him, but soon enough she was lost in thought, beet-red, and stifling a giggle.

Equius sharply turned to her, self-conscious, "What? What is it that has you laughing so?"

Aradia stopped, eyes wide, and she struggled for a cover story. "Oh! The, um, the beardy-guy, I was just thinking how he kind of looked like a terrier, and my mind went silly places, that's all!"

Equius grinned and chuckled in response, "Foolish, but understandable." 

Silly girl, beautiful girl…Soon enough and with her hearty approval, he would get her in his room and know her intimately. 

Soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epithimia: Sorry about the delay guys, I got me a full-time job that basically murders the fuck out of my brain every day so there may be the slightest delays in updates...


	6. >Eridan: Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Celebratory hipster plus booze summons his favorite recluse for drinky shenanigans, and at some point lube becomes important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dyzzy doesn’t get to write summaries anymore.
> 
> Warnings for makeouts, handjobs, and femoral sex.

Eridan had spent the last four days cramming for some shit midterm; and he aced that bastard, reported straight to the liquor store, and headed right back to his dorm room. 

He shut the door behind him, pulled the chilled six-pack from its paper bag and set it down on his desk with a soft clatter, and shrugged off his coat, hanging it on a hook by his door, expensive loafers and dress socks quickly shed after. He stretched out, briefly, tension still coiled in his shoulders and the small of his back, all of his body eager for some kind of release. He grabbed a couple of bottles and crossed through the bathroom--pausing only to check himself in the mirror and straighten his black turtleneck--and knocked on Sollux's door. 

Best case scenario, this time the douche would answer, split the six-pack, and they'd share a rowdy fuck; worst case scenario, same plan with twice the liver damage and half the participants.

After a hesitant moment, the door opened and there stood Sollux, clad in a clean black t-shirt and jeans, one red sock and one blue sock, 3D glasses slid halfway down his nose, "Hey." His voice came less steady than his don’t-give-a-fuck stance would imply.

"Hey Sol. Aced a big-ass exam an' need me some unwindin'. Got some time to share a drink?" Eridan offered one of the bottles, chill-misted and inviting. 

Tempting. Very tempting. Sollux leaned back on his heels before asking, "Is this an actual bona fide 'door knocking' situation?"

"You said to knock when I want somethin',” Eridan shrugged, giving a winning smile, “Right now I'm after a drinkin' partner, though far be it from me to go pretendin' a fuck didn' sound like the perfect way to cap this all off. One or both, what d'you say?”

Sollux visibly relaxed with a quiet sigh and a nod, "All right, yeah sure. I'm in. Better not let KK know or the pantywaisted dickbag will have a whole stupid bunch of hell to raise at us for breaking rules."

Eridan handed him one of the bottles and pulled a keychain bottle opener from his pocket. "Like he'd give a shit; if anythin' he'd be pissed we didn' include him in the drinkin' portion, but I didn' feel like fetchin' two packs, you feel me? So. Your room or mine?"

He thought on that briefly for a moment, looking up as he tapped his foot, "Your room. Might as well fuck up your sheets this time."

Eridan grinned and led the way back to his own room; so far, so good. The last two times he had knocked on Sollux's door for "relief" he had been met with only silence. Possibly Sollux had been out both times, but Eridan reasoned it was more likely that the reclusive dickwad just hadn't had the proper manners to answer the door and give a not-tonight in person. "Sounds like you're game on both counts," he said as he popped Sollux's cap, and then his own. 

Sollux nodded and took a sip, cringing somewhat at the taste of the brew, but not complaining.

Eridan flopped down on the bed, loosening his scarf and taking a hearty pull of his bottle. More bitter a brew than he preferred, but he had just grabbed the first cheap cold pack he could find, "Not my favorite, but it does the job proper. But man, I aced that fucker, I feel it in my bones." He flicked his eyes up to Sollux. "You goin' to sit down or what? Get comfy; you're makin' me nervous just standin' there."

“Yeah, yeah I'm gettin' there." Sollux then inched over to the bed and perched at the edge, pulling his feet up as well and staring over the rim of his glasses at him for a brief moment, "There. So what astronomical task was it that you apparently aced?"

"Art History. Teacher's ruthless as fuck, though." Eridan took another draught and looked over to Sollux. "What about you? Ain't seen a lick a you in days."

In actuality, for the last three days Sollux had been pulling hours for his side-job, leaving him with little time other than what he had spent in class, "I owed my friend some face-time otherwise she would've come over demanding I go outside. She does that, you know."

"That Ar chick? Fef was goin' on about her." Honestly, someone forcing Sollux out into the living world every now and then was not just probably good for him, but also the only thing keeping the scrawny schmuck from achieving the ultimate nerd zen and becoming one with his laptop, body and mind. "She drink? Draggin' her to our soirees would light Fef up like Christmas."

Sollux seemed to relax a bit. Casual conversation over a beer, nothing to worry about. "I keep meaning to ask, but she keeps getting busy with either her job or her boyfriend." 

Eridan shrugged, sweeping his beer-filled hand--pinky extended--towards Sollux, "Bring her when she feels like it. Fuck, bring him too. Whatever, so long as they don't go squealin', right?"

Sollux made a face, "Ugh. I don't even know what to expect out of them, so I'm just expecting a lot of shit."

"New beau?"

Sollux nodded with another choked sip of his drink, "Pretty much, I mean what do you know about anyone dating anyone? All your friends are single, right?"

Eridan shot him a disgruntled look, "More or less, but it ain't like I haven't had a steady in my time."

Sollux snorted, genuinely surprised but masking it with a coat of incredulousness, "Really?"

Eridan raised an eyebrow, "What? You're actin' like you think nobody'd want a piece a this." He swept a hand over his face and chest. "Yeah, I had repeat partners before, an' even the odd proper girlfriend here an' there. Is that such a strain on the bounds a credibility?"

Sollux gave a reedy little laugh, "Hilarious. Though really the best part is trying to think about you being domestic at all."

"Domestic? If that's what you call takin' a girl for a night on the town, fingerin' her in the parkin' lot, lettin' her blow me under the tablecloth at dinner, fuckin' like dogs in a bathroom stall at the club, an' havin' another go in bed when we got to her place, then sure, I'm domestic as fuck." 

Any sense of hilarity drained from Sollux, as an expression of discomfort settled on his face; eyes growing wide, jaw dropping just so before he responded, "…That so?"

Eridan leaned back on his bed, taking another swig and feeling that old familiar buzz forming in the back of his neck and creeping upwards, "Vris was a freak; good an' crazy an' liked it in public."

"Apparently." Sollux took another drink, pointedly looking the other way before responding, "Once beard number two shows up, guess that'll be a good indicator that I'm not that big on whatever sex dungeon bullshit you're running."

Eridan struggled for a moment to parse that. "...The fuck? There's a train a thought runnin’ here I ain't got the ticket for, Sol. Mind tryin' that again?"

"A beard's whatever other chick you're gonna bang until you're positive that dick's really what you're after. I'm waiting for that door to knock any time now because yeah, it's kind of obvious to me."

Eridan eyed him; was Sollux serious? Did he really think that deflecting that hard wasn't going to hit him in the face?

"Dunno what you're goin' on about; I wasn't fuckin' Vris because I was hidin' anythin'. I was fuckin' her 'cause she was fun to fuck… Now what's really goin' on in that bipolar noggin a yours, Sol? You sure you ain't just jealous 'cause you ain't got so much experience as a yet?" Eridan smirked, sitting up and drawing up his knee, letting his arm rest on it.

"Just can't let me make fun of you without it all going back to me, huh?" Sollux snorted and put his half full bottle on the floor before sitting back up.

Eridan drained his bottle and set the empty aside. "Just thinkin' we could catch you up on some a that 'experience' if that's what you was intimatin'." Eridan shifted to his hands and knees, staring Sol down with a smolder. 

Sollux then grinned cheekily, pulling off his sunglasses with a flourish, "Oh yeah? Come at me, bro."

Challenge accepted. Eridan pushed Sollux against the bed and captured his lips in a kiss as he straddled Sollux's thighs.

Sollux's eyes opened in shock at Eridan's zeal, having no choice but to follow along for the time being. He gripped his glasses in his right hand, squeezing, hoping not to drop them, but unable to focus on little else than those lips claiming his voraciously.

Eridan's hand drifted down Sollux's arm to his hand, and he took his sunglasses. He sat up, taking off his own glasses and setting both pairs aside, "Here, free up your hands an' use them, Sol, show me there's some life in you."

A smirk split Sollux's mouth, baring crooked, uneven teeth as he yanked Eridan back down by his shirt onto his mouth once more. Something akin to a growl bubbled out of Sollux's throat as he began sucking Eridan's lower lip, eager to show him just who was the fucking boss right now.

Eridan growled right back, itching Sollux's upper lip with his teeth. He pulled off his own scarf and cast it aside, and let his hands grip and scratch through Sollux's shirt.

Eridan's tongue was there to meet his, twirling and twining together for a moment before Eridan sat up, breaking the kiss in favor of the equally vital mission of getting naked. He peeled his turtleneck off and cast it aside, then leaned down to strip Sollux of his shirt.

Sollux reared back from Eridan, eyes on his face as he stripped his own shirt off, beginning to unzip his jeans as well, "Get your pants off already, diva."

Eridan climbed off Sollux to do exactly that, dispensing with his khakis and steel-gray boxer-briefs. "Can't wait for me to fuck you, can you, Sol?" he said, as he pulled a bottle of lube from his bedside table and tossed it by Sollux’s hip as he kneeled on the bed.

"Wait what?" Sollux suddenly looked nervous, "I don't want anything up my ass!"

"No? Shame, it's a great feelin'," he shrugged and worked a hand up Sollux’s thigh as he offered, “You ever heard a intercrural?"

Sollux warily shook his head, mismatched eyes on Eridan's hand up on his leg. He began to harden in his briefs at the sensation of being rubbed there, breathing deeper and then looking back up at Eridan.

Eridan's hand inched further, fingers slipping beneath the fabric of Sollux's boxers. "The long an' short a it is, you keep your thighs pressed together, an' my dick goes twixt 'em while I give you a sweet li'l reach-around, leavin' your ass untainted an' worry free for the time bein'." 

Sollux eyed him up and down, warily. "You sure? You're not just gonna spring it on me like 'Surprise shitstain!' or anything?"

"Eugh, no," Eridan said with a disgusted sneer. "What manner a asshole you take me for? No. I mean to fuck your ass, Sol, make no mistake, but I mean for you to want it when I do."

"Well that's going to take you a fuckton of convincing and possibly some bribery to get to happen." Sollux then groaned softly, pushing his hips up as Eridan’s wandering hand moved further up his thigh.

Eridan smirked, pulling Sollux's boxers away, "I ain't so sure on that point, Sol. Tell you what, let me play with you a bit, an' scout's honor I ain't goin' to stick anythin' in your ass tonight."

"All right, lay it on me." Sollux nodded once again, half erect and spreading his legs just so. His tongue slid over his lips briefly, just wetting them in anticipation.

Eridan inched forward, picking up the bottle and flicking it open with his thumb. He poured a little lube out on his hand and wrapped his slippery fingers around Sollux's shaft, stroking him gently, "Mmm? You givin' me full permission to do anythin' I want but invade that ass a yours?"

Sollux stared down at Eridan's hand and nodded, growing hard almost immediately at the heat and pressure. He shut his eyes and allowed himself a low, stilted moan. 

Eridan slid his hand down, cupping Sollux's sack in his palm, rubbing behind it with his fingers. "Even if I mind to go teasin' your taint a little?"

Sollux jumped slightly, not in any unpleasant means, but ohh. Oh that felt good... He himself never skimped on giving that spot a thorough massage whenever he gave himself some good, sweet abuse, but having Eridan’s fingers working instead of his own made all the difference, "Fuck, do it more, ED..."

Slick fingers probed and massaged the thick band of muscle, and Eridan scooted a little closer, straddling one of Sollux's thighs, to kiss his neck.

Sollux opened his eyes with a quick gasp as he felt lips on his neck. He inched back from the strangely intimate kisses, but still felt himself growing hotter, harder, the breath constantly being stolen from his body by his mounting arousal. 

Eridan purred, taking his hand away, "Get on all fours, Sol, an' I'll give you more."

Sollux immediately obeyed, slinking himself up and around, teeth digging into his lower lip as he waited. 

Eridan knelt between Sollux's spread calves and snaked his hand forward, once more massaging behind Sollux's ball-pouch, before slowly inching backwards across his peritoneum. "You don't mind if I do a li'l explorin', now do you, Sol?"

Sollux's cock jumped at the tone of his voice, unleashing another soft groan as he nodded.

Eridan let his fingers wander back, barest fraction of an inch by barest fraction of an inch, as his dry hand cupped and kneaded Sollux's butt cheek.

Sollux tensed slightly at the groping, "What are you doing?"

"Explorin'. I promise, nothin's goin' in your hole, but you might like a finger teasin' the outside a it; plus, I figured why not play some grabass while I was back here? Why, ain't you enjoyin' this?"

It did feel good; good enough to warrant his frame arching back into the touch as Sollux kept his head down, hiding his face.

Eridan let his fingers drift a little further back, his dry fingers digging into Sollux's ass cheek. A thought occurred to him: Sollux's hygiene was...inconsistent, at times. "Uh, 'fore I go any further, you keep it clean back here, don't you Sol?"

"Dammit ED, you had to go and kill the mood, didn't you?" Sollux snapped half-heartedly, looking back over his shoulder with a hateful glare.

"Hey, I'm riskin' my manicure for your pleasure here, asshat, an' I'd rather not flip my shit by accidentally findin' yours." 

Sollux turned around and glared, eyebrow cocked and face bright red, "Dammit do you want me to just go wash myself or go back to my room or something??"

"Just tell me if skidmarks tend to be a recurrin' character in the sitcom that is your laundry; that's all I'm askin!"

"No! Now shut the fuck up and keep going!" Sollux reached back and dug his nails dug into Eridan's knee haphazardly.

Eridan winced, and scratched his nails across Sollux's ass cheek in retribution, before he let his wandering fingers continue to explore Sollux's crack.

Sollux ground his teeth slightly with a whistling hiss between them. Gradually he did relax, fingers unfolding as his breath came slower and deeper with arousal.

Almost at a glacial pace, Eridan's fingers found their way to just before the tight pucker of Sollux's ass. "Still feelin' nice, Sol?" he asked, his other hand dropping down to rub Sollux's thigh.

Sollux impatience was steadily catching up with him, but nearly as fast as it could have. He licked his lips, enjoying the sound of that voice right then as his own was whisper like sandpaper, "Yeah..."

"Feelin' pretty tense though, Sol, you sure you ain't nervous?" Eridan laid a hand to either butt cheek and parted Sollux slightly.

Of course I am, you smug dickhead. Sollux thought tensely as his breath threatened to strangle him as he spoke, "I'm fine!"

Eridan let his fingers drift down, from the top of Sollux's crack slowly back down between the cheeks, "Sure you are. But Sol, you're goin' to love what I got planned for this ass a yours. I know in my bones, the day ain't too far off when you crave my cock up in here, sweet as can be."

So subtly, only because his fingers were tracing his flesh and muscles, Eridan could feel how Sollux twitched at those words.

Eridan smirked and moved his legs, straddling one of Sollux's calves. He bent forward, his cock pushing against Sollux's hip, his fingers circling around his tight hole; "Scared as you may be now, you're goin' to love me gettin' balls-deep in this tight li'l hole. You're goin' to want me rammin' my stick so far up in you it gets lost, an' you'll beg me to fuck you clear through the mattress, you mark my words."

Sollux wanted to ask if Vris ever told him he talked way too much in the heat of the moment, but could only push back against his body, licking over his teeth quickly in anticipation.

"But that's another day..." Eridan let his fingers travel forward, probing and kneading along Sollux's taint as they inched closer to his junk once again. 

"Dammit ED I'm gonna burst just fucking do something already...!" Sollux snapped, desperation barely concealed in his tone.

"Tch, no patience." Eridan drew back his hands and picked up the bottle of lube. He poured a good puddle into his hand and began to slick the inside of one of Sollux's thighs. He smirked as Sollux groaned softly, and he lubed up his other thigh, and backed up. 

"Okay Sol, legs together, nice an' tight," he directed, as he lubed up his cock, and Sollux obeyed without a second thought.

Legs spread and in position, Eridan slipped his member between Sollux's thighs. He laid a hand on Sollux's shoulder, pulling him up, "Here, straighten up, will you?"

Sollux obliged him, trying to keep his balance on his knees. A moment later, his back was pressed up against Eridan's chest, keeping him steady.

Eridan began to rock his hips, sliding his erection back and forth between Sollux's warm thighs, just beneath the cleft of his ass. His hands worked down Sollux's belly.

Sollux only grew harder, unable to do much other than arch into the feeling and grip his own cock and stroke.

Eridan's hand crept lower, bumping into Sollux's wrist. "You want me doin' that, or you rather get it yourself?" he asked, as he kissed and nibbled the back of Sollux's shoulder.

Sollux tensed for a moment, the feel of Eridan's lips suddenly causing him something of an anxiety. It felt too real. Too fucking real. He pulled his shoulders forward slightly and wordlessly forced Eridan's hand between his legs.

Eridan cupped Sollux's sack with one hand and began to jerk him off with the other, as he sped his hips, his dick slip-sliding against Sollux's taint. He groaned, feeling the heat of Sollux's back against his chest; "Fuck, keep those thighs nice an' tight, Sol, I'm lovin' this..."

Sollux smirked and chuckled breathlessly as he continued to rock between Eridan's hips and his hand, the laugh cutting off abruptly as he pushed forward once again. So good, so good... Sollux then leaned his head back against Eridan's shoulder.

Eridan rocked his hips back and forth, groaning; it had been a long time, too long since he felt the slick sweetness of a tight pair of legs, and he stroked and tugged at Sollux's cock as if it were his own, his grip tight and fast.

Sollux had already been close for a while now, but found himself reaching climax faster than he originally intended. He held his breath and tried to slow down, focusing on something so he didn't blow his wad right then and there.

Eridan kept stroking him, but he let his other hand come around to his hip, grabbing him roughly as he slammed between his thighs over and over, beginning to pant.

Sollux breathlessly growled, "You gonna come? You think you're gonna blow your wad all over me, ED?" He then bit down on his lower lip, hands gripping Eridan's hips behind him.

"Oh I'm goin' to, Sol," he barked, "But I ain't goin' to paint your nutsack pearly-white just yet." He sped up, his grip tightening around Sollux's cock as he took his own pleasure just under Sollux's bony ass.

"Fucking gross..." Sollux moaned--a long, scratchy, low sound as he squirmed against Eridan's chest.

"Nnngh, just for that you're cleanin' your own damn mess...fuck, just stay tight" Eridan found himself getting closer, but fuck if he'd blow it after only a short frot. He licked along Sollux's neck and groaned, "That's good, that's it..."

Sollux tensed and gasped, exposing more of his neck with a low groan, needing to feel his tongue again.

Eridan licked and lightly bit the back of Sollux's neck, as he felt himself get closer. The friction was delicious, and he recognized the point of no return quickly approaching. "I'm goin' to...goin'...fffffuck!"

He bucked his hips, pumping out a sticky mess between Sollux's thighs.

The splash of heat that then dripped down his cock and thighs caused Sollux to groan from the implication, feel, and sheer fucking realization of the situation. He then reached down and jacked himself hard, the way he was used to, the way that he always did when he was so hot and desperate.

He finished with a quiet, strangled yelp in his throat, just then realizing he'd used Eridan's come as a makeshift lubricant.

Eridan sat back on his ankles, feeling loose and comfortable all over as he caught his breath. "Whew...that's the stuff, ain't it?"

Sollux nodded, still panting from the exertion as his brain reeled. He then realized his thighs were wet and sticky, he smelled like a whore. He made a disgusted, quiet little sound as he pushed himself up off the bed and walked toward the bathroom.

Eridan let himself rest for a moment before dismounting the bed and rummaging through his discarded pants for his bottle opener. He disposed of his empty bottle from earlier, uncapped another beer for himself, and sat back on the bed to wait for Sollux to finish. "I gotta get in there next."

From inside the bathroom, Sollux yelled, "I smell like a fucking pier now, I hope you're happy!"

"I claim responsibility only for the beer an' semen, neither a which were a concern a minute ago. Any other stink is all you, Sol," Eridan called back.

"Obviously you've never been to a pier, otherwise you'd know that's all it smells like there!" In the bathroom, Sollux wiped at his thighs and still sensitive member with a washcloth. Wait, was this Eridan's cloth? Oops. Serves him right anyway.

Ungrateful fuck. Eridan shook his head and took a drink, "You got no sense a enjoyin' the moment. Hey, hurry, will you? I got to tidy up a mite an' start runnin' wash, unless you're goin' to be up for another go soon."

Sollux rinsed off the washcloth and dropped in a wet ball on Eridan's sink before walking out.

Eridan set his bottle on the nightstand and rocked to his feet, before walking past Sollux to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at the washcloth in his sink, chucked it in the hamper, dampened a fresh washcloth, and cleaned himself up. He walked back to his room and got a fresh pair of boxers from his dresser. "Hey, hand me my glasses, will you?"

Sollux's jeans were already back on as he sat on the bed, "Why? You that blind without them?" He picked them up and put them on instead. His face then distorted in confusion and pain, "Fuck, you really are."

Eridan walked over and snatched his glasses away. "Fuck you, Sol, fuck you all over again." He put on his glasses and his boxers, and looked down. He picked up the half-empty beer from the floor, still standing miraculously upright and unspilled, and handed it to Sollux. "What were you, raised in the woods? You ain't got the body a Tarzan, but here in civilization we don't leave shit to get knocked over."

Sollux took the bottle with an sharp, short jerk of his wrist and took a sip, "Whatever, princess."

Eridan rolled his eyes and scrabbled back into his khakis, then grabbed his beer. "Ain't you got any manners? Fuck, you're bad as Kar is." He sat on the edge of the bed, after checking to make sure it was a clean spot, and brought the bottle back up to his lips. 

They sat drinking in silence for a minute or so before Sollux picked up his shirt and tried his best to slide back into it while holding the bottle.

"Here." Eridan reached over and took the bottle for him. "See if that ain't easier."

Sollux raised an eyebrow and pulled his shirt on, shaking his head out afterward. He took the bottle back and put it on Eridan's desk.

"Oi, you set that shit in the recyclin' bin," Eridan barked, gesturing to the marked can next to his wastebasket. "The fuck is your problem, man? You don't just leave your shit wherever."

Sollux rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, setting his gaze back at Eridan as he firmly set the bottle back down on the desk again, "You bitch when it's on the floor, you bitch when I put it on a flat surface. Are you ever satisfied with anything?"

"Maybe if I wasn't surrounded by the kind a asswipes that got no notion on how to conduct themselves civilly. I ain't askin' much, just a li'l fuckin' decorum here, Sol; I spend enough time mindin' after Fef an' Kar, it ain't so much to go askin' you to mind your manners." He took another daught, shifting to a cross-legged position. "Though you're free to another if you're wantin' one."

"You know you don't HAVE to mind after everyone." Sollux dragged himself over to the bin specified and dropped it in.

"Wouldn' have to if people did shit RIGHT," Eridan grumbled. He straightened, "Hey, long as we're playin' a game a Q an' A here, I been meanin' to ask: why'd you get so twitchy when I was workin' your neck, anyhow?"

Sollux looked back with a start, squirming in place a bit before answering, "Felt weird is all."

"Ticklish or somethin'?"

He shook his head quickly, "Not really."

Eridan thought for a few seconds, "Ain't accustomed to neck attention as a yet, then?"

Hoping to get off the subject, he grumbled, "It's too weird and intimate, ok?"

"Wow, way to go imaginin' things." Eridan chuckled and stood, walking over and throwing an arm over Sollux's shoulder, "I wasn't tryin' after any intimacy shit, Sol. Look, if I was interested in just a dick, I'd get a dildo; an' if I only wanted somethin' to stick mine into, I'd just jack off, right?"

Sollux looked over, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

“The thing you got to remember about the body, Sol, there's nerve endin's everywhere. Literally everywhere; there ain't a patch a epidermis that can't be teased an' flushed, an' if you end up bein' or havin' the kind a partner that JUST wants the ass, or JUST wants the cock, you're signin' up for a life a dull romps. Now me?" He gestured to himself, "I see things differently. I see possibilities. The whole body, Sol, is a marvelous an' sexy thing, an' when you get two a them together you can go discoverin' endless combinations a bits, fittin' an' grindin' an' slidin' an' lickin together an' findin' what excites the most. The whole body becomes one big sex toy, an' I mean to use the whole thing, yours an' mine. You follow?"

Sollux squirmed a little, involuntarily, voice deadpan regardless, "So basically you decided I'm your sex toy?"

"While we're naked an' gettin' on with it? Yeah. Like I'm yours." Eridan gave his shoulder a little squeeze, "I use you for my pleasure, you use me for yours, an' we both see the other satisfied. There, an' if there's a more fair or just bargain in the world, I ain't heard a such."

Sollux inhaled and nodded slowly, "All right then. I'm not your fucking boyfriend though, got it?"

Eridan smirked and released Sollux, giving him a pat on the back, "Like I'd willin'ly get myself latched to a fucker that can't even manage to recycle his dead soldiers without micro-managin'." He leaned against his desk, "So, you want me stayin' away from your neck from now on, or was it just foreign to you? 'Cause, bein' honest here, you got seriously lickable collarbones."

Sollux smirked and leaned his head back, pulling down the collar of his shirt, "By all means."

"I meant in general, but since you're offerin'..." Eridan set his beer on the desk and pulled Sollux close by the shoulders, turning with him and pressing him against the desk. He trailed the point of his tongue along the exposed clavicle, and kissed the hollow at the base of Sollux's neck, one hand drifting down to cup Sollux's ass.

Sollux groaned fondly, teeth exposed as his grin only grew. He then chuckled as his ass was groped, "Well clearly I can tell what your favorite thing is."

Eridan lapped up along the muscle to the corner of Sollux's jaw, and murmured, "You're forgettin' what a greedy bastard I am, Sol, I ain't settlin' for just one favorite."

Sollux rocked his hips slightly, voice low and challenging, "If you let it go I'll make you want it.”

"Such a filthy mind you got in your head; I always welcome a nice bit a depravity," Eridan nibbled the base of Sollux's neck, his other hand drifting down and pressing against Sollux's ribs through his shirt.

Sollux's grin began to slip as he began to grow hard again. Eridan was doing to him on purpose the fucking prick... "Nnngh dammit ED."

Eridan softly kissed up and nipped just beneath Sollux's jaw. "See what I mean about the whole body bein' used for pleasure?" He rocked his hips against Sollux's, not quite ready for another round but knowing it wouldn't be long. "Fuck, Sol, you sound ready for another go..."

As though conflicted, Sollux shook his head, "Don't think I can right now." 

"Shame." Eridan withdrew a little, leaving his hand on Sollux's ass for the moment. "But hey, you know where to find me when you're feelin' frisky."

Sollux nodded dizzily, a slight smirk on his lips, "Sure."

Eridan walked over to the bed and began to strip the sheets. "An' remember, you can initiate too, Sol. Those thighs a yours are welcome over damn near any time."

"Expect morse code any day now." Sollux waved over his shoulder as he crossed the bathroom doors. Once back in his own room, he leaned against his door with a lazy, satisfied grin. He could get used to this.

Eridan snorted, shaking his head. He tossed his bedlinnens into the hamper, retrieved a fresh set from his dresser, and painstakingly re-made his bed. He did not even bother to put on a shirt as he dragged his hamper to the laundry and began his wash, feeling loose and free and glad to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epithimia: The both of us are going to be at Otakon for all three days and going to probably all the Homestuck related stuff. Come say hi!! :D


	7. >Karkat: Be the bile-filled frothing socialite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kanaya fails to not meddle in her childhood friend's life, and Karkat fails to keep her from his room. But nobody really minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epithimia: Sorry for the delay, I've been super busy. Also we got back from Otakon (which was awesome. Dyzzy and I actually met in person for the first time :D)

Long-limbed, graceful, elegant Kanaya was laid out on her side on her dorm bed, eyebrow raised at the appalling piece of literature before her. Maudlin stories were considered usually the most titillating treat for her sensibilities, but something about the prose before her was somewhat unsettling at worst and lukewarm at best. What was usually a thrumming heat in her privates was nothing more than a twist of her lip and a shudder every once in a while.  
Halfway through a particularly unsatisfying page, Kanaya's phone chimed with a text. 

_OH MY GOD, IF I HEAR ONE MORE FETID COMPILATION OF WORDS PROCLAIMING KUROSAWA AS "OVERHYPED DRIVEL" I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES._

Kanaya placed the book on its face, uncaring of how the pages of this particular tome were affected. She replied in text form.

_Might I Ask You To Clarify These Consequences_

_THE SHORT VERSION OF THE STORY IS ONE YOU KNOW FULL WELL YOURSELF: THE INTERNET IS FULL OF IDIOTS. I AM DOING MYSELF GREVIOUS HARM BY READING IDIOTIC COMMENTS MADE BY FORUMITES WHO LACK THE GOOD SENSE GOD GAVE TO AUSTRALOPITHECINES AND DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT "BLACK AND WHITE" DOES NOT EQUATE TO "BAD."  
SOME THINGS ARE SIMPLY TIMELESS._

_Self Harm You Say_

_NO. DOWN. BAD KANAYA, NO BISCUIT. THAT WAS NOT A LEADING PHRASE, IT WAS NOT AN INVITATION TO STICK YOUR ELEGANTLY POWDERED NOSE INTO MY BUSINESS; IT WAS MERELY ME STATING FOR A FACT THAT READING THE BRAINLEAKAGES OF THESE IGNORANT FUCKWITS IS LESSENING MY IQ._

Well if that wasn't a cry for help, Kanaya had no idea what was. She flipped the book closed and slid on a pair of ballet flats. She then ran a hand through her hair and replied on her phone.

_I Understand  
Ill Be There Soon_

_EXACTLY WHAT PART OF "NO" SEEMED LIKE AN INVITATION?_

A moment later, another text came in:

_SEE YOU SOON, BUT I WAS COMPLETELY SERIOUS. NO FUCKING BISCUITS._

A wry smile found its way to her lips as she slid her phone back into the pocket of her purse and stood up. She slid her cherry red coat on as well as a pair of thin, filmy gloves over her hands and wrists. She made her way outside, embracing the chill of autumn whole-heartedly. 

As expected, the walk across campus to Karkat's dorm building was short and peaceful with little upset aside from getting upstairs to his floor. She passed by the doors of Eridan and Sollux, idly wondering if Karkat had spoken to either of them lately. She didn't see why they wouldn't. 

Kanaya found Karkat's door and knocked firmly.

Karkat answered, his eyes sunken and the bags under his eyes darker than usual. He stood barefoot, in jeans and a black XKCD tee shirt with a black turtleneck underneath. He grunted indignantly, standing aside and waving Kanaya into the room, flicking his eyes up to hers. "Thanks. Make yourself at home. Mi shithole es su shithole."

"Goodness." Kanaya said to herself, shaking her head and looking around. The room definitely had that unmistakable aroma of male shut-in, "How long have you been inside?"

"Since class ended. What kind of truant do you take me for?" he scowled, knowing full well what she was getting at. He had been spending too much time alone and isolated, no point in denying it, but no particular point in admitting it, either. 

"Naturally, I mean, there would be no reason for you to neglect your studies in favor of arguing with," She then withdrew her phone and skipped back through her messages from him in search of something, "I'm sorry, what was that term you used to describe the other internet trolls you were bantering with?"

Karkat thought for a moment. "Probably either 'troglodyte' or 'morlock.' I feel like I've been using those two a lot." He sat down on the bed far more forcefully than his small frame would suggest possible, "Dear God, why do I subject myself to the tortures of slumming it with the intellectually deficient gutters of the internet? Kurosawa was a fucking genius, this is fact, there, done. How hard was that?" 

Kanaya tiptoed over to his computer chair and sat on its edge, ignoring for a moment the waste bin, overflowing with energy drink cans and paper coffee cups, and the small basket of chewed pencils and pens. "A better question would be why do you care so much? Surely even you must realize that everyone has a different opinion, especially about cinema and pop culture."

"Okay, first: everyone is entitled to their opinion only so long as that opinion is not brain-achingly stupid. Second: I have to talk to SOMEONE." He swept his hand angrily towards his door. "All of a sudden, everybody is too fucking busy to cast five minutes my way. No time for old Vantas, everybody's got shit to do!"

She exhaled through her nose as she nodded, lips pursed, "So everyone has been occupied with mid-terms and projects, I presume?"

He cast his eyes down at the littered floor, grumbling. "Yeah. And I guess I dragged you out of whatever important shit you were doing and made you sit in on my bullshit whiny rumpus party. Sorry about that."

"Important?" She scoffed, "Hardly! I've been reading Fifty Shades of Gray and to borrow a joke I've already heard made several times before, it is several more shades of awful."

Karkat waved his hand with a sharp wince, "Oh god, no no no no. Skip. Pass. Next. Proceed to the next option and weep for humanity...”

He worked his way into a vertical position as he began to pontificate with great purpose, “What is wrong with romantic literature as a whole, that this is what passes for popular and laudable? Is it too much to ask for a decent fucking romance? Something with characters who can show evidence of at least two functioning neurons, and I don’t want to reach through the pages and throttle? Something with believable reactions to events, and, maybe, gasp, some actual god-damned emotions?" 

He jabbed a finger in Kanaya’s direction, "And no, before you pounce on me with and tear me to ribbons with your immaculately manicured lady-talons, I'm not coming down on your vampire fantasy fetish. I'm not some slice-of-life fanatic who fails to accept anything that requires suspension of belief. I have no problem whatsoever with fantasy elements, got that? For all the fucks I give, write me a story where a were-mermaid gets locked up in a dragon's tower and has to be rescued by a lesbian vampire, and I will read the SHIT out of that as long as it's written WELL. Hell, throw in hemophobia and a seafood allergy for added drama while you’re at it. Fine! But you come at me with some diatribe fraught with unlikeable characters and bad dialogue, and nope, I'm fucking gone."

And the Oscar goes to Karkat Vantas.

Kanaya believed makeshift therapist was a good look on her. She nodded, hands folded beneath her chin as she replied simply, "You're deflecting."

Karkat drooped sullenly, "Maybe. I still stand by my analysis, though."

Kanaya gestured with graceful hands, "And an excellent analysis it is. Is this because you find yourself lacking in such an area yourself?"

He gave her a deadpan look, "Kanaya. Really. You've known me since fifth grade. When have I NOT been the damn standard-bearer for the romance genre? Because I don't know if you remember, but my relationship status has never once flagged my adoration for a classic love story. Just because the girls around here all have sense enough to stay away from the wandering train-wreck I call my own self doesn't change that."

"True. Although, truth be told, I can't think of anyone who deserves somebody as much as you." Her smile was fond and understanding before she delved back into her usual dulcet tones, "However, that implies anyone can somehow chalk up to those insurmountable standards you seem to have set."

Karkat sneered and threw his head back in contempt, "Whose standards are insurmountable? I just want someone I click with, who isn't a complete jackass, and can put up with my shit. Everything but that last bit is easily surmounted."

"Sounds almost as though the only ones capable of dealing with you in that regard are myself and Sollux. However, we already know how that particular endeavor is unfolding."

"And I am more than happy to declare, here and now, my most passionate, platonic devotion to the pair of you--or I would, if Sollux would ever ANSWER A FUCKING TEXT. I haven't heard from that jackass in days, and I'm holding Eridan personally responsible."

"That wouldn't entire surprise me. Although this little...” Kanaya attempted to find a proper word to describe the situation, “thing… of theirs seems to be somewhat good for them. At least on Eridan's part. From what I've heard, Sollux is so far in the closet he believes he's a festive winter parka."

"Jesus, can we not talk about them getting it on? There are things I do not want to imagine, but my brain obviously hates me with a fiery passion, and it does cruel things to me. Cruel things, Kanaya, you don't even understand."

“Somebody has been delving into the Jhonen Vasquez, I see.” Kanaya shrugged, "I'm against outing as much as the next liberal, caring individual, but this entire scenario is simply unbelievable enough to be downright entertaining, I dare say."

“ENOUGH! I don't want to talk about those two rabbit-minded miscreants anymore!" Karkat fumed, curling up on the bed with his knees pulled to his chest. 

He stayed silent for a few moments, before grumbling, "I don't even know what they're thinking. Eridan isn't fooling anybody with his stupid codeword-laden gossip. 'Oh Kar, things are going swell with that guy I'm fucking, wink wink. Me and my mystery lay got it on last night, knowing nod'."

"Seeing as though this is the closest thing to a relationship he has and that he has already royally fucked up the rules I had assembled to keep Sollux from being embarrassed, you seem to be the only one can confide in." She pouted somewhat, "Not that he could tell me anything of course because OH what would I know."

Karkat raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Really? Shit, I'd have thought you'd be the first unfortunate target of his giddy verbal diarrhea. I'll keep you in the loop the next time Ampora gets it in his pomade-saturated cranium that sharing is caring, but I warn you, the nitty is disturbingly gritty."

"No, no." She waved dismissively, "The less that people other than you three know, the better. It's for the greater good after all." Kanaya grit her teeth, resisting the urge to ask how gritty the nitty could possibly be.

"It's not like you don't already know. Hell, I'd be surprised if the whole shiteating hallway didn't suspect it. The other day I actually get it in my head to do a little social call, and what do I see? A verbal fight worthy of a goddamn stage musical happening right before the elevator. As though no one would suspect two guys arguing like a married couple either on the brink of divorce or about to engage in rough furniture-smashing sex." 

Kanaya then dropped her head into her outstretched hands with a labored sigh, "Are you kidding me?"

"I shit you not. Needless to say, any hope I had of being social shriveled like a banana slug cast into the Dead Sea.” Karkat burried his face back between his knees, "Hello Third-wheel-ville, population: me. And isn’t that just the way all of my social forays are going lately? Fuck, even Leijon was too busy to spend thirty fucking seconds with me."

Kanaya lifted her head with a curious glance, "Leijon?"

"Nepeta. The weird catgirl that puts up with me."

"'Puts up with,' you say?" There came a quirk of her head.

Karkat rushed through a muttered explanation, "Considering that the statistical probability of anybody actually enjoying time spent with me is negligible at best? Yes, she ‘puts up with’ me, which is as good as a fucktard like me can hope for."

"Why do you think that is?"

Karkat remembered the hypothesis that Sollux and Eridan both seemed to harbor; "Poor judgment," he said, with a note of finality. 

He leaned back, stretching out his legs and supporting himself on his hands on the bed. "I don't know. Maybe she likes me, maybe she's smart enough not to; I kind of hope for the smart option."

Kanaya leaned back in her seat with a contemplative expression, "Is this because you care about her welfare or because you're just not interested?"

"Can't it be both?" Karkat looked away, running a hand through his tangled black hair. "She's annoying and obsessive and exhausting, but I guess I like her fine _as a friend._ It's not like I can be picky, and she is kind of fun in a way when I can figure out what the ever-loving Christ she's gabbing off about; but the spark, it just isn't fucking there."

Kanaya nodded sympathetically, "That's perfectly understandable. Can't force what isn't there, after all."

"So, miserable lonely shithead that I am, I'm still not going to pretend something I can't feel, which leaves me completely and ironically fucked. If she likes me and I can't reciprocate then I don't just lose a good friend, I break her squeaky little weeabo heart and earn myself the grand prize of my own personal circle of hell. The Vantas circle, one step lower than the special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. So yeah, I really hope it doesn't come to that."

"Not being interested in a girl doesn't make you worse than a child molester." Kanaya spoke incredulously, straightening in surprise.

Karkat snorted, "See, at least she gets my Firefly references."

Her expression grew deadpan as she rolled her eyes, "Well pardon me. Our taste in entertainment has always clashed as you well know."

“Hey, fine, you want something with no regard for story, character dynamics, or plot? Slog through whatever hamfisted smutfest Ampora had the lack of decorum to post."

Kanaya's eyebrows rose as she fought to stifle a laugh, "So you've heard about Viva La Villainy?"

"Feferi was giggling her pert and perky ass off over it," Karkat said with a shake of his head. "I got the cliffnotes, and by god, that alone was too much."

"Is Sollux actually so..." Kanaya strove to find the word, winding her hand in the air, "idealistic in person?"

"Tholluckth? Idealistic?" Karkat laughed, "Holy fuck, no! He and I are currently neck-and-neck for the gold in the Pessimist Olympics, with particular attention to free-form self-loathing and the fifty-meter snark."

Kanaya sat back, arms folded, "From what I've been able to glean, it's Fifty Shades of Gray meets a terrible super hero comic."

"Like I care to read his masturbatory drivel. I used to say that whatever keeps him out of trouble was okay, but now I'm afraid that I'm complicit in encouraging him."

Kanaya looked back and forth, "Yes, that's true. Besides, he hasn't updated it in almost two weeks, so maybe he's abandoned it."

"Since you're keeping such a close eye on our pervert laureate, would you say he dropped off the fanfiction grid roughly as soon as he started using Sollux as his personal humpmuffin?"

Kanaya shook her head slowly, "I really wouldn't know, but given the psychology of the situation, it's very possible that his 'story' had run its course."

"Then the world of literature owes Sollux's dipstick a tremendous debt of gratitude...and that is a sentance that never should have been uttered."

"He isn't exactly Helen of Troy, is he?" She cackled wryly.

"Now there's a story the world will never need: The Eridilliad." Karkat shuddered, "Once upon a time, a hipster douche conspired with the gods to seduce and kidnap a reclusive nerd, and lo, no shits were given."

“And thousands were slain at the altar of two men both terribly incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship. And the gods declared," Kanaya paused for dramatic effect, arm outstretched, "Meh."

Karkat offered a slow clap, "Thus ends the tale of two star-crossed douchebags and their cavalcade of dysfunctions." 

Outside the room door, an argument could be heard in the hallway; a familiar reedy voice laden with irritation was muffled by the door. Karkat crept to the door and cracked it open, poking his head out in time to see Eridan pushing Sollux towards the elevator. 

"...to the mess hall, an' that's final. Christ Almighty, Sol, you could wear a bracelet as a belt." 

Karkat shook his head, looking over at Kanaya, who had quietly joined him in peeking out the door "Some fucking paragon of discretion."

Kanaya stared incredulously as the scene ended, "This is a common occurrence, then?"

"It's getting more common. You know how Eridan is when he gets it in his gray-matter that he knows best...though, hate to say it, but fuck me raw if he isn't right for once. At least now we know that Sollux is eating at least once a day."

She sighed and shook her head, "If you don't mind and if they don't find it too meddlesome, I think I need to interfere a bit. If not for Sollux's comfort, you see." She walked down the hallway as casually as possible after the retreating pair.

Karkat darted forward, still barefoot, and blocked her path, hissing quietly, "Nope, nope, negatory, with a side of hell no."

"Why?" Kanaya's eyebrows arched incredulously, hands going to her narrow hips.

Karkat looked behind him; Eridan and Sollux were impatiently awaiting the elevator, completely oblivious, "Because I have zero desire to see the drama llama take a shit right outside my door." 

He guided her back towards his room, "Look, when they get back I'll have a word with Sollux, see whether Eridan's public manhandling is doing more harm than good. If there is anything, any tiny little reason to be concerned, I promise to recant and let you, no, BEG you to render aid."

After a brief moment of consideration, Kanaya nodded, "If you insist. At any rate, I should get going anyway."

Karkat relaxed and nodded. "Okay, just a second, I'll walk you back." He brushed past her to shove on a pair of shoes, and he grabbed an old and thoroughly-worn charcoal-gray hoodie. "Least I can do for dragging you out to check on my whiny ass."

"It would do you well to get your vitamin D as well." She grinned, restarting her trek down the hallway.

He slouched alongside her, "Yes Mother."

For all the complaining that Karkat ever did, Karkat really was one of the most worthwhile compatriots of hers. Although his own inadvertent meddling could compete with hers at times. At least his role as an RA was a healthy outlet for his attitude.

Downstairs, Karkat blinked in the bright sunlight. "God damn. Isn't mid-October supposed to be full of those gray lifeless days that depress the world but spare the retinas?"

"The sunlight is perfectly reasonable for the time of day. You've just been inside for presumably at least ten hours, class notwithstanding." Kanaya walked with her hands behind her back.

Karkat shoved his hands into his jacket, only further stretching the habit-sagged pockets. "Don't judge me. I'm doing the world a favor by sequestering myself; it spares the peons of these supposedly-fine halls of learning from dealing with me any more than is academically necessary."

"Has anyone gotten to telling you just ever so dramatic you are?"

"Some have tried, all have failed."

The both of them seemingly out of steam, they were able to walk in silence for a few minutes. Kanaya then broke the silence, "For all of your complaining, I'm very proud of your non-judgmental ways."

Karkat gave her a sidelong stare, "Earth to Maryam, just a reminder: you're talking to me, not Feferi. You remember, the loud JUDGEMENTAL one? I’m practically the fucking patron saint of loud, argumentative assholes. Dear God in Heaven, did you manage a head-wound while I wasn't looking?"

"I mean in regards to Eridan and Sollux and their.... situation so to speak. Not to mention my own." Her voice had grown soft as she spoke of herself.

"Why the fuck would I give a half a damn about their little homo non-romance, when those two give me an overabundance of reasons to froth at the mouth already?" he shrugged, before smiling softly. "And you? Come on, Kanaya; 'Christopher' never suited you anyway."

She winced a bit at the mention of her name, clearing her throat, "Use of the name aside, I do appreciate your support... and I always have." She looked off to the side momentarily, taking a deep breath.

Karkat looked over and slapped himself in the forehead, shielding his eyes, "FUCK, sorry, sorry, I never should have said anything. Jesus, even I can't believe what an insensitive prick I am sometimes."

She looked back over, shaking her head for a moment, "No, no, it's all right, Karkat. Really, I know it was just a slip-up." Karkat could see she had teared up just a little bit.

He peeked between his fingers and, seeing her tears, began to tear at his hair, "NO NO NO! I'm a shit friend, the shittiest!" He raced in front of her and gestured wildly with his hands, "Look, all I was trying to get at was this: before you figured yourself out, you weren't YOU. You were pretending to be somebody you weren't and it's a steaming pile of crap, having to watch a friend go through that. When you chose your name you started being happy, and what kind of walking shitstain would I be if I didn't support you one hundred and infinity percent?"

She lightly shooshed him, placing her hand on his shoulder with a shaky smile. She didn't have words right then, but the gentle touch was enough. You weren't friends with someone for nearly a decade without understanding them.

Karkat looked around, in case anybody had noticed his potentially-outing protestations. Nobody seemed to be taking any particular note, so he breathed a sigh and offered   
Kanaya a brief hug, before pulling away and shuffling on towards her dorm.

She did hope for the best for him. Honestly she did. She looked at his hunched figure and hoped that... not even that he could find love or anything so simple and fleeting; she wanted him to be happy.

Finally they reached Boxcars Hall. Karkat turned, "Hey, thanks again for coming to check on me. Not that I'm that sorry to interrupt your literary shitfest, but, take it easy, okay?" He awkwardly patted her arm.

"You're able to use actual words to invite me to see you if you like." She mimicked the arm pat in return with a jesting smile.

"You're able to wear floral prints, but we both know how that's going to go," he replied with a sassy smirk. He turned and waved behind him as he trudged back down the path.

"Contraire mon frere!" She called back before going inside, a white glow warming her from within.

Once Kanaya had gone inside, Karkat stood outside in the chill; simply staring up at the building. He knew this was the building that Nepeta lived in as well. He had the urge to call her again, just for the sake of talking, but found himself feeling guilty. Was he being friendly with her because he didn't want to feel alone? Was he using her? Was he stringing her along? He growled to himself and turned around, taking the easier route and just walking away for now.

Karkat walked back to his dorm. He paused outside of Sollux's and Eridan's doors; he knocked three times on Sollux's door and waited for a minute or so, before realizing that there was no way Sollux would be back yet. 

Stupid best friend with his lousy fucking timing. 

Later, when he heard the two bathroom-bickerers strife their way back to their respective quarters, he would try again, maybe challenge Sollux to a game or two, have an argument, exchange threats, and storm back to his room.

Typical social stuff.


	8. >Equius: Arrive at Residence with Aradia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Equius and Aradia attempt domesticity and for the most part succeed.

Equius shut the car door and walked around to the other side, where Aradia had just gotten out of his Hummer. He had a calm smile on his face, doing his best to not seem too unbecoming or eager that she would be in his quarters for the first time.

Aradia stepped out lightly, gracefully, taking his arm as he led her inside the apartment complex. No dirt, no grime, and in a very nice part of town; everything seemed to be in very good upkeep. "This seems like a nice place! I admit, I'm pretty curious about seeing where you live for myself."

"I do my best to keep my stables clean, so to speak." Equius grinned toothily at his own joke. He unlocked the door and gestured for her to come inside.

Aradia curtseyed and walked inside, taking in the grand apartment. The entranceway had wooden floors as well as a vestibule. As Aradia walked in further, she could see the space had little furniture, but what there was of it was intricate and beautiful. The walls were robin's egg blue, the carpet a deep cerulean, and the furniture was all dark cherry wood. A cool breeze drifted in from a large window draped in white curtains. Towels were laid on the floor beneath piles of tiny circuitry and bits of metal, all foreign to her. The air smelled of a mechanic's workspace- lubricating oil and air freshener.

"I expected something impressive, but wow! Nice place, as a bit of an understatement! Haha!" Aradia squatted down, one hand sweeping behind her to keep her skirts from falling on and disturbing the organized wires on the floor, as she ran a finger along the detailed scrollwork on the legs of an end-table. She looked over her shoulder at Equius, smiling brightly, "Very fancy. You like the best of everything, don't you?"

Befuddled by her in depth examination, Equius cocked his head slightly, "I was raised to expect nothing less."

He placed his jacket upon a coathook installed in the vestibule, "I will take your coat, Aradia."

She stood, leaving her oversized purse on the couch, and slipped off her black coat as she walked over to him, "I'm not used to seeing anything that doesn't come from Ikea or have sixty years' worth of scratches on it. Your place is very nice, it suits you well." 

Equius took the coat from her hands, failing to be able to touch her bare fingers. He hung her coat with much more care than he did his own, "I come from a noble heritage. This happens to be one of the rewards I reap from such." 

"Must be nice," she said, simply, as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind. "So, you and I are here, what did you have in mind for this evening?"

Equius was caught off-guard momentarily, his firm torso tensing under her arms for a moment before relaxing. His fingers ran down her arms idly, yet still at a rough, quick pace as he thought. He was uncertain as to proceed, but he would not let her know that, "We could prepare something to eat and then watch a movie together."

"I like it. Shall we?" Aradia asked, heading off towards the kitchen. She paused, looking at a few nude paintings on the wall in the hallway; all of the figures were muscular, male and female, each strategically positioned so that their physiques would be highlighted and their privates hidden. 

"What would you be interested in having?" Equius walked into the kitchen ahead of her, slipping his sunglasses off into his hand.

Aradia turned, grinning, "Dunno! I've never had a date offer to cook for me before! How about...you make your favorite dish? Better yet, you can show me how. Maybe then I can make it for you sometime."

Equius then contemplated a moment, opening a cabinet to see what was available and then suddenly letting out a frustrated growl. "Curse and confound it all!" Then came the sound of a punch and cracking plastic.

Aradia whipped her head around, "What?? What happened?"

When Aradia came into the kitchen area, she saw Equius with his fist against a wall, glasses gripped tightly in his hand. He turned halfway, replying, "I just recalled that I had to visit the grocery store and completely forgot!"

Aradia gently laid a hand on his arm, "Equius, it's fine! We can go and get whatever we need, okay?"

He looked back at her, slowly relaxing, "Of course. I don't know what came over me." He retracted his arm and unclenched his fist, unleashing another bark, "I cannot believe this!"

The lenses in the pair of sunglasses in his hand were cracked.

Aradia took his sunglasses away and set them aside, "Shhh, shhh, sweetie? Breathe with me. Deep breaths, okay?" She cupped his cheeks and looked up at him, "It's not that crucial. Let's just go to the store and pick up whatever you need, maybe grab another pair of shades, okay? It's all okay."

Equius' pulse slowed and his breath calmed, hands settling on her hips. He took another calming breath before nodding, "You are right. I just have a rather short fuse at times."

"So I noticed." She began to pull him back towards the living room, "Do you need a towel before we go?" She released him to dig through her purse, pulling out a soft cream-colored towel and handing it to him.

Equius' eyes widened and he chuckled, "You have one with you?"

Aradia shrugged, pressing the towel into his hands, "Seemed like a good idea to keep around if I'm going to spend time with you. Oh, not that I mind! Hyperhidrosis is a serious concern, and not your fault at all."

He wrapped his arms about her strongly, his chest rumbling with another laugh. He looked down at her with a smile, as he dabbed his forehead and neck.

Aradia smiled, nuzzling into his chest, "There we go. Now, what do we need to get?"

Equius pulled back, thinking momentarily, "A few of my usual staples, but if you wanted to prepare something with me, I am sure we can extract the necessary ingredients together."

Aradia grabbed both of their coats, "See? No biggie. Let's go!" Equius gave his neck another quick wipe-down, and set Aradia’s towel on the arm of the couch.

It was only a short drive to the supermarket, and the drive was spent with pleasant idle chatter. In the market, Aradia grabbed a hand-basket. "So, what do we need? Also, what's for dinner? Did you have any particular plan?"

"Beyond my usual staples I was not sure." He began to walk into the produce aisle.

"How about...a nice lasagna? It takes a little time, but it should be tasty," Aradia offered, looking around. 

"Doesn't that require meat?" Equius asked, picking up a container of fresh spinach and a package of tofu.

"Not if it's a vegetable lasagna. Do you like eggplant?"

Equius contemplated his answer briefly as he took the hand-basket from her, slipping in a bunch of carrots. "I do. What else would you use?"

Aradia ticked off on her fingers, "Mushrooms, maybe some fresh tomatoes, sauce, and cheese, and noodles. Why, you don't eat meat?"

"I don't. It's part of my diet." Equius spoke casually, picking up a carton of whole mushrooms.

"I'd have thought beef would be good for anemia." Aradia picked up three small tomatoes on a vine, inspecting them, before bagging them and putting them in the basket. 

Equius continued down the aisle, grabbing some kale and potatoes. "In theory it would be. However, I don't believe in killing animals for my consumption."

"Ah, I see. I can respect that," Aradia said, slipping a package of fresh basil into the basket. "Dairy's still okay, right? Oh, and do you want eggplant in this one, or would you like to try it without?"

"You will do what you think is best." He answered authoritatively, carrying the basket easily in his hand.

“Without, this time. But is cheese okay? How about eggs?" She took his hand and pulled him along to the pasta aisle.

He nodded, allowing her to lead him with a slight grin, "Yes, to each inquiry."

"That makes things easier!" A jar of sauce, a box of noodles, and a jar of parmesan found their way into the basket, and she grabbed his hand again and led the way towards the dairy department. "All we need now is cheese, and we're set for dinner! Did you need anything else while we're here?"

Equius nodded briefly, light glinting off the cracked glasses for a split second. He placed 2% milk in the basket, "I require olive oil as well." He turned and walked in the other direction, not looking behind him.

Aradia nodded, price-comparing the different brands of mozzarella. She finally selected a bag of shredded cheese and a tub of ricotta and looked around. She dashed along the aisles, looking for Equius, finally finding him at the oil display. "I forgot how fast you can move."

Equius spun sharply, "Oh, Aradia, I thought you knew to follow."

"I'm not always easily led, I guess," she grinned, slipping the cheese into the hand-basket and kneeling down to look at some bottles of generic olive oil. She picked out a bottle of extra-virgin, and stood, "I've kind of got an independent spirit."

He then reached for a sleeker, darker bottle of olive oil, placing it with his other groceries, "Independent spirit, how?"

"Oooh, fancy!" Aradia put the other bottle back, and led towards the check-out. "I prefer to lead than follow. You know how some people are better at directing than taking direction? That's me." She took his hand again, "Was there anything else you needed?"

"Are you?" A tingle of heat spread through his spine at certain implications that wandered into his mind.

"Couldn't you tell?" Aradia laughed, loading everything onto the check-out belt. "Here, how about this. I'll teach you how to make this dinner, and you can tell me if I'm any good at instructing. Deal?"

That may as well have been invitation for foreplay, although there was no way for the girl to know that, Equius thought. "Very well. We will." He spoke shortly, already beginning to perspire once more as he paid for the groceries.

A short trip later, and Equius carried five grocery bags into his apartment.

"I could get some of those, you know," Aradia protested, holding the building’s door open for him, "Here, give me your keys, at least I can get the next door for you." She slipped her hand into his right pocket, reasoning that since he was right-handed, it was more likely that he would pocket them on the right side.

Equius gasped, hands occupied, leaving him unable to stop her, "Aradia!"

Aradia stopped dead, "That...should have dawned on me sooner as a faux pas." Her hand stayed in his pocket, "I promise I'm not going for your wallet, I just want to get the door for you since you won't let me carry any bags. Bags or keys, your call. Which should I get?"

He began to breathe heavily, loving that strange feeling of helplessness she had accidentally inflicted upon him. He spoke breathlessly, "You will continue to search for my keys."

“Suit yourself.” Phone, spare change, what felt like a neatly-folded bill...nope, nope, nope. She felt around, and damn but his thigh was muscular. Tense, too…She took her hand out of his pocket and walked around him, checking his other pocket. 

"Bingo!" She pulled out his keys and found one that looked like a house key.

"Very good, you will unlock the door as well, since I cannot." He flexed his arms beneath his coat, maintaining the grip he had on his bags.

Aradia unlocked the door and held it open for him, snickering, "Hey, I thought I was the one telling you what to do tonight?" 

Oh, that was just downright torturous... No! Equius thought, mentally kicking himself, I must behave myself! 

“So it would seem.” He choked out, as he walked inside, the strain on his mind much greater than any on his arms.

Aradia hung up her coat, "Well, go set the groceries down, and roll up your sleeves. I'm putting you to work." She gave him a gentle shove towards the kitchen.

Equius obeyed, setting down all five bags at once. He removed his coat and placed it on top of Aradia's, walking back toward the kitchen. He grinned at the sight of her.

She busied about, putting away anything that would not be used for dinner. "Okay, you'll need a baking dish. Depending on how big we make this, you might be set for lunches for a few days! I'll need a good knife, a cutting board, and a basting brush if you've got one." 

Equius tried to do as she said, but stood confused for a moment, "What is a baking dish?"

"Oven-safe, rectangular, either ceramic, glass, or metal? About yea big?" She held her hands in approximate dimensions, and turned to rummage through his cabinets. 

Equius placed a small, rectangular non-stick cake pan on the counter, "Like this?"

Aradia's face turned in amused sympathy. "Tsk, honey...it'll do in a pinch, but for the guy with seemingly everything, you could use a better-stocked kitchen." She patted his cheek in gentle admonition, "Well, now I know what you're getting for your birthday." 

Equius stared in confusion, why would she get him something so mundane as cookware for a present?

Aradia continued as she set the oven temperature and adjusted the rack, "Okay, you wash the vegetables, I'll seed and slice them. Did you have a basting brush?"

"What is that?" Equius was once again bewildered, standing dumbly with his arms at his sides.

"Oh boy…No problem! How about a small ladle? A big spoon will work." 

Equius went to a drawer and pulled one out, holding it out to her.

"Perfect! Okay, wash those vegetables, will you? I need to grab a hair tie." Aradia gave him a little push towards the sink. He allowed himself to be led briefly, gripping a tomato in his hands and washing it under a stream of water. His grip was strong enough to bruise.

Aradia shook her head and chuckled as she left the kitchen to find her purse. She returned a moment later, pulling her hair back into a red scrunchie, a second scrunchie held between her lips. She looked stood next to Equius, peeking over, and giving a little chuckle as she finally got her hair secured.

"What is so funny?" He looked down at her, eyebrows raised behind cracked lenses.

She dropped the scrunchie into her hand and wrapped it around her wrist. "You. You're very cute sometimes. Here, bend down a bit, I'll put your hair back for you."

Equius cocked his head, bending down awkwardly to comply, and Aradia gently swept his hair back into a low ponytail at the nape of his neck. She pecked his cheek and took the tomato from him, and his skin prickled at her touch, the roots of his hair growing damp. "There you go. Here, I'll work on the veggies, you go ahead and pour a little sauce--about a cup's worth--in the bottom of the pan and spread it around with the spoon." 

He then nodded and marched to the other counter, pouring the sauce without measuring. He then spread it as she had dictated, turning back around. "I've done as you said."

Aradia finished rinsing the mushrooms and started to slice them. "Great! Spread a layer of noodles out over top of the sauce. After that, grab a spoon and drop little spoonfuls of ricotta on the noodles."

Eager to obey her command, he opened the package of pasta and layered it as carefully as he could, dropping the cheese on soon after.

Aradia meanwhile finished a few of the mushrooms and finely sliced some basil, and had begun to slice and dig the seeds out of a tomato with her fingers. She peeked over, knuckle-deep in tomato guts, and smiled. "Perfect! Sprinkle a little mozzarella over that, and then start layering some mushrooms and basil while I finish this."

Equius continued to build up the layers of the dish as she had stated, thinking less of the "command" aspect of it and more of the integral stacking.

Aradia thinly sliced the tomato and passed it over, and instructed him step-by-step on the rest of the lasagna construction, layering praise with each step. When the final layer was done, she popped the pan in the oven and set the timer, "Perfect! We've got a good while before it's done, though. How would you like to spend it?”

Equius thought for a moment, removing the hair tie and letting his hair fall down across his back, "We shouldn't go far."

"To the couch?" Aradia suggested. A little couch-borne cuddling, yes, that would be quite pleasant.

"That will do nicely." He took Aradia by the hand and led her to his couch; large, plush, and deep blue. Both made sure to step around the machinery parts spread out on the living room floor. He settled down and finally removed his cracked sunglasses once more, having forgotten he had left them on.

Aradia sat down next to him, cuddling up to his side. She kicked off her heels and tucked her ankles under her, as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Comfy!"

Equius drew his arm around Aradia's waist and pulled her closer to him with a nod, "Once again, a positive result of my nobility." 

Was his tone... playful?

"Indeed, you are ever the gentleman!" she giggled, tucked up to his side. "And, as such, would you be so kind as to afford a girl an even more pleasant spot to sit?"

"Where might that be?" He asked, stroking a shaking hand down further to the side of her hip.

She shifted and slid herself into his lap, grinning widely, her long skirts bunching up as she straddled his legs. "Right here. Seems like a seat you'd only save for special guests, and I'd like to think of myself as one." She wrapped an arm around his neck, "Unless I'm being presumptuous?"

His breath caught in his throat briefly, both of his hands stilling upon her hips. The closer she came, the more anxious he grew, more aware of the sweat trickling down his back. He reached a hand over to the side of the couch, grabbing for the towel she had offered him earlier and dabbing at his forehead as he muttered gruffly, "I apologize for my behavior."

Aradia laughed, "For what? Being adorable? Gentlemanly? Trust me, I don't mind." She pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. 

Still with the towel in his hand, he let it fall to his knee as he was kissed. He let the hand come up behind her neck, pulling her down sharply. A bit too sharply as it turned out.

She shifted with a grunt of discomfort, and offered an apologetic look, "Want to try that again, a little easier this time?"

Mortified, he growled to himself and groped for the towel. He pressed the cloth to his forehead again, "I apologize! Confound it, I knew this would happen!"

"What would happen?" Aradia asked as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I am too rough if I'm not careful." He laid his head back against the couch. He sighed deeply, eyes screwed shut in frustration. Aradia could feel how his pulse thundered in his chest with her intimate vicinity.

With a soft sigh, she nuzzled his shoulder, "Equius, I'm not injured. You and I, we're still getting used to each other, right? So, we each do a little forgiving as the situation warrants, including with ourselves. Okay?"

Equius pressed his cheek against the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her and sighing fondly with a nod. He pulled her closer, his hand moving to the small of her back.

"You're sweet, but remember that I'm made of sturdy stuff. You won't break me just by touching me, okay?" She nuzzled his cheek and took his hand, gently guiding it to her thigh.

Equius blustered, “Er, Aradia?”

“Yes Equius?” she said, letting her hand work back up his arm towards his shoulder.

“You put my hand on your thigh.”

“Well, it didn’t look like it was going to get there by itself.”

His hand shook once more before he gripped the bountiful flesh, fingers sinking in slightly as he groaned quietly.

She giggled and kissed the corner of his mouth, as she began to toy with a lock of his hair. "See? I'm still here, totally unharmed."

Equius kissed the opposite corner of her mouth as well, breath feeling fog-heavy in his chest as he uttered, "You're beautiful..."

"And you're a flatterer." She smiled and nuzzled against his neck, "Thanks, though."

His hands, now more steady, slid their way up her sides, molding to her curvaceous shape as he breathed against her skin. 

She squirmed, subtly, and let her lips brush against his neck before kissing him softly just below his jaw. He exposed more of his neck to her, his hands sliding through her hair and holding her against him. Firmly, but not painfully.

She kissed her way down his neck, stopping as soon as her lips met his shirt collar. She could so easily unbutton his shirt, she could hook her fingers into his collar and tug down lightly, but...for all her bravado, she was not quite ready for all that might come from even beginning to undress him. 

Oh, but that time was coming, wasn't it? The time was coming when she might kiss his bare chest, when he might hold her close, his naked stomach warm and moist against her own bare skin...Aradia squirmed in his lap. She might not be quite ready for the reality yet, but the thoughts were nice. Very nice.

"You can touch me as well, as much as you like as well..." He said; he had wanted to refrain from such lewd thoughts, but Aradia made it so difficult, especially when she touched him like that... 

Though her cheeks were tinted, she simply nuzzled into his neck, one hand idly stroking his opposite shoulder, "I thought I was."

He then lifted his hand and held her face in his hands, stroking her jaw briefly before pulling her close and settling her lips on his. He inhaled quickly with a low moan in his chest.

She countered with leisurely kisses, soft and sweet, as she adjusted her posture, squirming to get a little closer to him, as close as possible. Gradually the kiss elevated to the point where his tongue slid along her lower lip before taking it gluttonously between his.

Aradia licked at his upper lip and nibbled it, letting her hand slip down his chest. His shirt was slightly damp, but she could not care; she was far more interested in the firm musculature and the heat that seeped through to her palm.

His hands laid on the backs of her thighs, gripping and holding onto her as he felt himself begin to harden. He stalled in realization, but only for a moment before pushing his tongue up against hers.

She pushed back, subtly, into his hands as she caressed his tongue with her own. The hand in his hair tugged a little and she could not help but let slip a sweet, barely-audible moan.

Equius groaned in return, murmuring into her mouth , "Aradia..."

"Mmm?" Aradia stole another peck to his lips, not wanting to stop. She pressed her chest against his, her whole body feeling warm and buzzing.

His hands drifted further up to grip her backside in his hands, continuing to kiss her. He himself was overheated, but he couldn't bring himself to care, she was so lovely and she wanted this, it was exquisite.

She drew herself closer, as close as she could, her body working on its own; her mind was, at best, a distant observer as she ground down into his lap, until she noticed something that was decidedly not his thigh, and wow, okay, there was a lot of decidedly-not-thigh there. 

She paused and tried to collect herself; was she ready for this? Maybe. The spirit was definitely willing, but was she ready for _that_ much of this? No, not yet; she was a virgin and she knew she'd need to put forth some kind of stretching regimen for a while first. 

"Equius, I...," she began apologetically, "I don't want to stop, but, I don't think I'm quite ready to, y'know, just yet. I never have before."

She looked into his yellow-tinted eyes, searching for understanding. For a brief moment, those eyes seemed to glimmer with a dark joy, but he reigned himself back in with a nod   
and an exhale against her lips, "Then what is it you want?"

She chewed her lip, briefly, "I like this. I like making out with you, being physical like this...I'm just not ready for sex yet, and I hope that's okay with you." She looked into his eyes as she swept aside a lock of hair that had stuck to his damp forehead, "I hope you aren't disappointed."

He shook his head and tried to adjust her in his lap, only then noticing how hard he had gotten. His eyes widened as he flushed and inched her halfway off his lap, "Curse my-!"

She stopped him with a kiss, cupping his cheek in her hand. He relaxed all over, a small grin upon his lips when he pulled back from her.

Aradia smiled softly, "No guilt, okay? We're both turned on, that's not a bad thing! I'm just...not ready yet." She moved to kneel beside him on the couch and laid her head on his shoulder, "Thank you for being patient with me."

He nodded, leaning over toward her. His lips brushed the base of her throat. She arched her neck for him and threaded her fingers through his hair as her eyes fluttered closed.  
A shrill ding then came from the kitchen.

Equius bolted upright with a forced casual nod, "Right then."

Aradia sighed, just a little disappointed by the sudden lack of Equius on her neck, but she straightened her skirt and stood. She offered him a hand up, "Well, let's see what we've wrought, eh?"

He stood on his own, "Yes we will."

She took his hand, anyway, and led towards the kitchen. The two had both been too distracted before to catch the tantalizing aroma, but when Aradia opened the oven and pulled the lasagna out it was nigh inescapable. "Not bad, huh?" 

"We would need to taste it in order to verify its quality." Equius's eyes drifted to the excited girl before responding, "Although I do believe it is indeed ‘not bad’."

She opened up a cabinet to get some plates, a slight wiggle in her hips, "See? Told you I was good at giving direction. Now come, I don't know about you, but I've worked up an appetite!"


	9. >Sollux: Prove KK's incompetence with basic coding skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sollux considers his friendships synonymous with borderline abuse and mooch-worthy behavior on all fronts.

The couches were soothingly soft and the ambiance comfortable in the student center, but that did little to ease Karkat’s irritation. 

Sollux looked over his shades at the code in front of him, trying his best to ignore the irate fidgeting to his left. "Welp, no wonder your code won't compile, KK," he pressed his finger to the laptop screen, "You've clogged this up with so much bullshit the compiler's falling asleep trying to wade through all this drivel."

Karkat snarled, leaning forward with his eyebrows furrowed, "Oh well pardon me oh wise fucking sage of the kingdom of hardware sorcery if my technique is too intricate for you and your professional ways!"

Sollux rolled his eyes and hunched over the laptop. It was weird, using someone else's computer; the mouse was all wrong, the resolution was weird, the keyboard just a little too small, and something about the color was just not quite right. 

He scrolled through the text, line after line of over-complication on what was meant to be a fairly easy concept. "KK, you have easily eighty-two lines here you don't need for fucking anything. For somebody with so few working brain cells, you sure do draw this shit out waaaay more than you need to."

Karkat shoved Sollux back as he had been practically in his lap, "I didn't say you could hunch your slimy, greasy self over my fucking keyboard!"

"You wanted my help, you deal with it. And, you get me a Mountain Dew." Sollux jabbed a thumb towards the soda machine. "Chop chop, kohai, and I'll tell you the great secret to make your shitfest trainwreck of a coding assignment work."

Karkat yanked his laptop back, "Fat chance, weeb, I can get this shit done just fine on my own! Just because it takes me longer than five minutes to complete an assignment doesn't mean I'm entirely inept at any unspeakable terror I can dish out against the scourges of the internet!"

"Fine. Fail your assignment, and just watch me give a fuck. It won't compile no matter how many more lines you try to crowbar in, you know." Sollux pulled out his phone and fiddled with it.

"Bullshit!" Karkat mercilessly pounded at the keyboard, as if the hard strokes were enough to force the computer to do its bidding. A few moments later, though, Sollux was proven right, a fact made evident by how he stomped his foot in frustration.

"Ehehehehe, told you." Sollux leaned over, deliberately invading Karkat's personal space as much as possible. "How many lines did you add?"

Karkat shoved the computer in Sollux's direction, inching away and muttering, "Oh what, you can't tell from one glance of your fucking horseshit wizard eyes what I did wrong?"

Sollux grinned, not yet taking the laptop. "Sure I can. The software gods have not yet been given tribute, though, so there's pretty much fuck all I can do about it, though."

Karkat sighed deeply and got up without a word, eyebrows set in an angry downward slope as he walked off towards the vending machine.

"Code Red if they've got it!" Sollux called after him, making sure to draw as much attention as possible from the others in the student center. 

Karkat arrived back a few minutes later, unceremoniously dropping the green bottle between Sollux's legs, "There, I've gone on the great quest for your fucking go-go juice, now fix my homework."

Sollux regarded the bottle and tapped the side, in case Karkat had shaken it, uncapped it, and took a swig. It tasted like smug victory. "Is that any way to talk to your sensei?"

"I was this close to getting a blue one to spite you and your smug fucking ways so don't push me, you got it?"

"Fine," he shrugged. "So, you want to know the big secret, huh? You're getting too complicated with it; this is seriously elementary-level stuff. Track it back and try it again."

Karkat sat in front of Sollux and yanked his computer back once again, typing furiously.

Sollux watched over his shoulder. "Nope. Delete that, you're just confusing it more. Track it back and try again."

Karkat's neck twitched as he did as he was told, focusing all his rage toward the computer.

Sollux folded his legs under him and took another drink. "Still not getting it right. Track it back and try again."

Karkat deleted all of it and typed it again, basically retyping exactly what he had before.

"Track it back and try it again," Sollux said, exasperation in his voice. As usual, Karkat was making things far more difficult for himself than they ever really needed to be.

"Well what the fuck am I doing wrong then, huh?!" Karkat threw his hands up, "Is there some mundane fucking trick that somehow passed by my razor sharp goddamn focus during class when I was right there and learning this that somehow isn't translating to your expertise?"

"Track it back and try again. Track it back and try again. Track it back and try again. Come on, KK, are you seriously too dense to figure out what I'm telling you? Track it back and try again."

"Just fucking say what you're trying to say, dunkass! I'm having aneurysm here and you're just getting all Karate Kid on me and it's not fucking helping!" Karkat was red in the face.

"I'm telling you to use a loop, you insufferable twit!" Sollux waved at the screen vaguely, "You need to call back to a function, not just re-write the fucking thing eighteen times. Shit KK, you suck at this."

"And you suck at making any viable attempt in actually teaching someone how to actually do something they already know how to fucking do. Congratulations dipshit, you're so inept you make me fail at the simple task of recalling how to perform a simple fucking task." Karkat wrote the loop clumsily as he ranted.

"Wow, ungrateful as fuck, but fine. No, don't mind me, trying to help you figure shit out on your own. Clearly my assistance is wasted here." Sollux looked over at the screen, "And have fun with that, Big Chief Doesn't-Know-A-Colon-From-A-Semicolon."

Karkat quickly amended the error as though it were his intention all along, "There, is that shit satisfactory to you or do I have to grovel some more and get you some blood to snack on before the dawn rises on campus?"

"That joke doesn't work at two in the afternoon, you realize," Sollux took another drink and checked his phone, as Karkat assaulted his keyboard once more. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Sollux spied a familiar figure in a cat-eared hoodie dancing along between the couches and chairs, totally absorbed in her iPod. "Hey KK, your girlfriend's here," he gestured towards Nepeta. 

Karkat swiftly punched Sollux's shoulder, "Shut your fanged, lisping maw right now on the fucking 'girlfriend' bullshit."

Nepeta bobbed and twirled along, generally oblivious to strange and bemused looks, "Never did no harm, never did no harm; it's dare. It's coming up, it's coming up, it's coming up, it's--ooh! Hi!" She grinned, noticing the pair of them and waving as she pulled the earphones out.

Karkat waved, face seemingly frozen in half grimace and half begrudging amusement.

Close enough to an invitation. She bounced over, smiling brightly. "Hey guys, how's it going?" 

"Not too shabby, NP, just schooling this loser here on how to not make an ass of himself in comp sci." He pointed a thumb at Karkat.

"Just because he's a shitsucking show-off he thinks he's adept at making me look like an idiot." He turned to Sollux and pointed, "Joke's on you! I already do that all by myself!"

Sollux shrugged, "I have literally nothing to add to that." 

"Be nice!" Nepeta sat down on Karkat's other side, and Sollux pointed over Karkat's shoulder to one of the sewn-on ears of her calico hoodie.

"You just don't give up a theme, do you, NP?" 

"Why should I? It's cute and soooo comfy!" She tugged her hood down and mewled. She waited a moment, hoping for some sign of confirmation, but when none came, she changed the topic. "Hey, what are you guys doing for Halloween?"

Karkat rose his head in surprise while Sollux remained neutral. Karkat thought for a moment before replying, "I don't know, probably whatever Sollux is doing." 

"Then nothing then. I don't really do Halloween." Sollux replied coolly.

“Aw, that's no fun!" Nepeta pouted, kneeling on the couch to face the guys. "You guys gotta come to my friend's party. It's going to be soooooo much fun! Aradia and Equius are already going!"

Karkat looked over in confusion, "You have a whole fucking latex scientist get-up planned for a larping event and you don't fucking like halloween? The fuck kind of logic is that?"

"Don't blame me for your lack of preparation, asshat. Besides, FF's to blame; you want to talk five-foot-ten of high-pitched giggling out of her personal costume party? Go for it, I haven't figured out how." 

Nepeta's ears perked up, "Costume party, you say?"

Karkat responded with a nod, "Oh yeah, big stupid superhero shindig bound to leave the quad looking like a fucking warzone. Meant to ask if you were interested in being on the side of victory."

Nepeta started to bounce on her knees, squealing, "Yes! When is it? Can we make up our own characters? What are you guys gonna be? How long do I have to get a costume ready? Can I bring Equius? How about Aradia?" 

Karkat caught Sollux's exasperated gaze for a moment before responding, "I don't know anything about this fucktarded lawnscapade except that it's in April and my friends are trying to get as many weirdos involved as they can. Bring your whole fucking girlscout troop for all I care."

"Awesome!" She pulled out her phone, "Okay, I'm setting an alert for November first. There's no way I can handle it now, I have too much to do, but I want to hear _everything_ afterwards, okay? And yes, sign me the heck up!"

Sollux nodded, "I guess FF'll be glad to have more heroes to pwn and skewer."

"FF?" Nepeta started, but stopped herself, holding up her hands, "Nope, nevermind. Tell me everything after Halloween. Oh, but I wish you guys would come to the party!"

Sollux subconsciously folded in on himself, as though ignoring the question. 

Karkat snorted, "Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which fills up first." 

Sollux looked over, "...The fuck?" 

"Old Wilkinson family saying," grinned Nepeta. 

Karkat glanced at her with an approving smirk.

Sollux looked between the both of them, "And when the world falls and I'm left with you two for company, I'll promptly hang myself."

"Noooo, no need for hanging, you can go adventuring with us! With society in ruins, the only thing to do is band together, hotwire a jeep, and go seeking peril and/or shenanigans. Don't you watch movies?"

Sollux shook his head, focus still at his computer screen, "Not really. KK over there does though."

Karkat responded with a hurried wave of his head, "Yeah yeah, she knows. There's a reason we hang out other than my roguish charm and pulchritudinous nature."

Nepeta giggled, "I collect those, actually! Pressurized potions of pulchritude, to be specific." She looked back and forth between blank stares, "Kingdom of Loathing? You guys don't play?"

Karkat shook his head in confusion while Sollux said, "Nope, isn't really my style."

Karkat asked, "Well what is it?"

Nepeta jumped up, waving her arms, "Only the best game! You gotta try it! The currency is meat, I get to play as a Seal Clubber, and I have a huuuuge collection of Disturbing Fanfics and Cheezburgers."

Karkat's face twisted in a grimace, "How does that even work? How can a society run on a currency based on meat?"

"Pshht, it's parody! I'll email you later, we'll have you beating up war hippies in no time."

Sollux rolled his eyes. He'd gotten this spiel before, around when Aradia had been drafted into the stupid game; he was only thankful when his phone rang. He stuck a finger in one ear, put the phone up to the other.

"Yo, KN, what's broken? Why else would you call? Did you try restart--Okay! Okay! Shit, woman, how am I supposed to know? No. Yeah, I guess...I didn't say-! Ugh, FINE. I'll be over in a sec."

He hung up and began to pack up his bag, much to Karkat's dismay, "Where do you think you're going?"

"FF suspects Kanaya broke something on her computer and I have to fix it."

"Right now?" Karkat's glare was molten.

Sollux shrugged, "It's my duty."

"Duty my ass!" Karkat twitched, looking back at Nepeta.

Nepeta glanced between the two of them, "Duty?"

"I've been reduced to go-to tech sap for KK's friends because obviously I have nothing better to do." Sollux zipped one final zipper.

"...Is that a bad thing?" Nepeta looked at Sollux, confused. 

Sollux thought on it for a moment before he shrugged a shoulder, "I'm the only one who can prevent less disasters on this campus."

As Sollux turned to leave, Nepeta plopped back down on the couch beside Karkat. "You sure you can't make the Halloween party? I want my bestest buds here and Aradia and Equius are already going!"

Sollux answered noncommittally, "I'll see what I can do."

"Yeah I'm sure you will." Karkat responded as Sollux left.

Nepeta huffed, and fussed with her bag. "I still gotta finish their costumes, though. Man! It could've been soooo easy, but no, people always gotta complicate things..."

Karkat looked over, "Why couldn't they come up with their own damn costumes?"

"Well, Aradia asked me to help, and it's not like I was gonna say no! She helps with my cosplay photoshoots all the time. Anyway, she's the easy one. Mr. 'No I won't go as Tarzan that’s lewd' Fussypants is the problem." She flopped back against the couch, her bag in her lap. "Seriously. Tarzan and Jane. It would've been great! But nooooo, he needs something with _pants._ Picky, picky, picky."

Disinterested but pseudo-polite, Karkat shrugged, only half-listening as he went back to his code. “What’d you finally wrangle him into, and did it take a choke hold or a half-nelson to get him to eventually agree to it?” he asked, as he tried to set up the compiler.

“Zorro. Can you believe that?” Nepeta grumbled quietly, something about no imagination and no ability to even compromise on an open-shirt design. She perked, “Me and Aradia are gonna be fairies. Pretty fairies! I’ll be a green fairy—think Disney Tinkerbell—and Aradia’s going to be a red one. The paint should be dry on the wings by tomorrow but I could show you now if you’d like to see…?” 

“YES!” Karkat shouted, triumphantly as his program finally, _finally_ gave him the expected output.

“Really??” Nepeta beamed, bouncing eagerly in her seat.

“Sorry, what?” Karkat did not turn to her, but waved at his laptop, “No, this cockscraping code finally fucking worked. What were you saying? About bells?”

Nepeta drooped, but she just smiled politely, “Nothing important.”


	10. >Ariel: Make the most of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Feferi gang-presses cohorts into having a good time.

Feferi really knew where to go for a good time. The last couple of years had been only so-so, but this was definitely a good pick for a Halloween bash. Good music, a jumping crowd, and only a short bus trip from the college. Eridan--scratch that--Ariel was on the dancefloor with her doppelganger, who was squealing and writhing up against ‘her,’ not even tipsy yet. However, Eridan couldn't help but check his phone every few minutes, expecting a phone call.

Checking your phone isn't dancing!" Feferi pointed, mid-grind, dressed to the nines in a form-fitting prince’s tailcoat and leggings that hugged her curves and a cravat that emphasized her bust. A chintzy gold-tone crown perched atop her head, held in place with barrettes, and her fingers were littered with coin-machine rings in flagrant mockery of Eridan’s usual jewels.

Eridan shrugged and slipped the phone back into his bra. "Sorry, Fef, my mind's been elsewhere." Honestly, he wasn't feeling the song, but as it ended he could hear the transition into one much more agreeable to him. He grinned and began to dance in earnest, his hips rocking in his tiny black witch dress, long fishnet-bound legs and shiny black high heels drawing many a passer's eye.

"Where else could it be?" Feferi cackled, pushed forward somewhat due to the crowd surging behind her.

"Don't matter, I'm back now," he grinned, convincing falsetto firmly in place. He rocked and ground with Fef, having a grand old time as he convinced himself that, if Sollux did call, there was no possible way he could miss the phone ringing. 

Karkat and Kanaya stood near the bar in the most relatively "quiet" section, attempting to converse as normally as possible. He was in striped shirt and shorts, with red shoes and a red sideways baseball cap, nursing a plastic cup of ice water; she in an elegant black dress and gloves, multi-strand faux pearl necklace and wig.

"Honestly it's not the noise, Kanaya, it's the GODDAMN FUCKING ASSHOLES WHO KEEP KNOCKING INTO ME!"

Kanaya mildly attempted to adjust the ornate bun on top of her head while not jabbing anyone in the eye with her cigarette holder, "If only they hadn't confiscated your bat, you could show them what for." 

"I know!" Karkat threw up his hands, managing at only barely to not splash anyone, "Now I just look like a retarded elementary school kid; I needed the damn bat to properly be Ness!"

"Like anybody gives a shit," came a feminine voice behind him, as Eridan approached carrying a tray of frog-green shots. He pressed one into Karkat’s hand. "It's for all a our benefit, yours included, that they confiscated your cudgel. I prefer my festivities not involvin' gettin' writ up in a police report." He picked up another shot and handed it to Kanaya.

"Ness wasn't even my idea! I was fine with that shitty Batman hood, but you guys decided I needed to be something cute and hilarious or whatever crap Feferi was spewing about the joy of the season." Karkat then slammed back his shot, barely even tasting it.

Kanaya swirled hers as Karkat rambled, looking over at Eridan, "How's tricks?"

He raised a shot to her, "You know me. Can't say no to tryin' a half-price festive shot." He knocked it back and sputtered, wincing, "...Which clearly ain't the wisest decision I ever made. Eech..." 

"Tis the season." Karkat responded, placing the glass back on the tray.

Kanaya sniffed her glass and made a face, then set the shot back on Eridan’s tray.

Eridan eyed the shot and shrugged, "Might be the wisest course a action. I'd say, if it ain't your thing, to try passin' it to some pretty young think what caught your eye, but this shit's more a act a aggression than anythin' else. Shame..." He nodded to her, “Diggin’ the Audrey Hepburn vibe, by the by. Suits you.”

Karkat snatched Kanaya's abandoned and sucked it down; neither of the others seem to mind. 

"Glad to see my intention was made manifest,” Kanaya bowed slightly, “Out of curiosity, how many shots have you been passed, Ariel?"

"Fewer'n I got ass-grabs, which leaves me thinkin' I should a dressed as chivalry's rottin' corpse, since it's clearly dead as dead gets. Me an' Fef had about two drinks apiece so far, plus there’s the tribute I brought you two, an' we ain't paid a plug nickel as a yet." He gestured over to Feferi, who had finished dancing and was slowly working through the mass of people back to the group. "Thinkin' on gettin' somethin' I can enjoy drinkin’, though. You guys want anythin', long as I'm goin'?"

Kanaya replied, "I'd ask for a martini for my ensemble, but frankly there's little point considering where we are and how likely that glass were to break."

Karkat responded, "Vodka and redbull, and make it a double, but only if they don’t have quadruples."

"Somethin' classy, an' somethin' to regret. Got it. Tell Fef I'm fetchin' her somethin' with an umbrella." Eridan clapped Karkat's back and made his way off towards the bar.

Feferi waded through the crowd of people, pausing only to politely decline a dance from a guy dressed as a giraffe. Adjusting her crown, she greeted the others, "Hey guys! Aren't you having fun? You should totally dance!"

"Do I look like your fucking jester, Feferi?” Karkat pointed at himself.

Kanya continued, "No, you look like a retarded elementary school child, if memory serves.

He pointed menacingly at her and she poked him in the chest with her cigarette holder, "Perhaps later; need more liquid courage, you see."

"Is the dancing why we're here? Have you dragged us all along to dance for your amusement while my dignity turns over in its neglected and unmarked grave?" Karkat looked back at their princely addition.

"I wanted to have fun with my friends! And I wanted my friends to have fun!" Feferi hugged Karkat from the side, "Come on, try having fun. You might like it!"

Karkat accepted the hug, but did not reciprocate, "You aren't the empress of my good time, Fef, so don't push it. I'm having plenty fun right here in this semi-quiet hovel of darkness."

"Could have fooled me." Feferi made a face and tugged the corners of Karkat's lips up in a smile. "He doesn't look happy, does he Kanaya?"

"Well, now he does." Kanaya gestured to the pair of them while Karkat fought back a chuckle.

Feferi giggled as Eridan could be heard a few feet away, "Hey shitstain, just 'cause my hands are full don't mean I won't beat the shit out a you, now KEEP YOUR FUCKIN' HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE!" 

Kanaya rolled her eyes and walked off and returned shortly, dragging Eridan along steadily, "Shooooosh."

Eridan grumbled the whole way back to the others. 

"Bootygrabs o'clock sure does come early," Feferi commiserated, letting go of Karkat's cheeks to help Eridan with his drinks. 

Eridan made a noncommittal noise and began to pass out libations. "Kan, got you a cosmopolitan. Swill for Kar. Fef, got you a strawberry daiquiri, complete with umbrella," he paused while she made a giddy little squeal, "an' somethin' worthwhile for me." He raised up a glass of blood-red wine. "Cheers."

Everyone properly raised their glasses and took draught. 

Kanaya then looked to Eridan, "Gotten any calls yet?"

Eridan's eyes flicked over to Fef, who was sipping her daiquiri through a straw. "Not as a yet, but I'm still hopeful."

"Sollux and hope aren't really things to be relied on, ED." said Karkat, nickname mockingly tagged on.

Eridan shrugged, a little irritably, and Feferi pouted. "Wish he could've come. I don't care if he hasn't got a costume!" 

Karkat barked, "Oh, but I had to gussy up like a misshapen Ken doll before I could be fucking presentable to the public!?"

"In-costume is best! Present but not-costumed is better than nothing," Feferi protested, stirring her drink. "Besides, you look cute as that guy from Smash Brothers!" 

"I would've rather come in a burka!" Karkat spat. 

Kanaya looked amused, "Oh? The modern philosopher thinks he's too good for this place?"

Karkat looked at her, bewildered, "More like no one here gets why I'm dressed like some pissgargling ventriloquist’s puppet."

"Nothin' wrong with strayin' from the beaten path, Kar," Eridan said, tugging his skirt down a little in back. 

"I recognize you!" Feferi protested, "Maybe I should've been Princess Peach. Oooh, or Sheik! Prince and Princess all in one!"

Karkat replied, "If you tried to dance in that much wrapping you'd expire of heat exhaustion before you even got through the first shimmy. And dehydration, if you forgot to drink. Seriously, do you see any mummies here? No, because even these drunken louts here have sense enough to not sweat themselves into early yet thematically appropriate graves."

"Still easier than Kirby." Feferi started to giggle into her straw, "Oh geez, could you imagine? Bouncing and shaking in a perfectly spherical costume? I’d be king of the dancefloor! Everybody out of my way! Heeheehee! I think I have to do that now. Kanaya, can we do that?"

Kanaya pondered, "That would require more LSD and less alcohol, wouldn't it?"

"Lousy reality, getting in the way of a perfectly good time..." Feferi pouted, as Eridan gave her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. "It'd be cute, though! You'd make a pretty Zelda, and we could get Sollux to, I dunno, maybe be Mario or something? We could beat each other up with squeaky mallets and then nobody'd question who Karkat was and he wouldn't feel left out!"

Eridan scowled into his drink, "Fuck me if I didn't try to wrangle him, Fef, honest an' true. What the bastard got against socializin' is beyond me, an' it ain't like this place checks ID's for shit."

He fell quiet. Why _had_ Sollux declined the invitation? By now he must have realized that if Karkat couldn't pay, Eridan and Feferi always covered him; for the price of a little ribbing, Sollux could mooch right along with him if it came down to it. It was Halloween for fuck's sake, and here Eridan was, done up in skank chic and looking like sex itself. Fucking wasted opportunity, right there.

It would've meant so much to Feferi if Sollux had come, and, in fairness, it's not like Eridan minded his company. Sure, the tactless asswipe was a prick, chronically caustic and terminally geeky, always ready with a snide remark or twelve. Hell, sometimes the best thing about Sollux sucking his cock was the fact it shut the fucker up, but if Eridan were being honest with himself, there was definitely something in that fight and bile that wasn't just alluring, it was just fun to be around.

Eridan returned to himself and to the conversation to hear Feferi piping, "Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Karkat was growling and fisting his hair; Kanaya lightly smacked Feferi on top of her head.

Eridan tapped Feferi, "No, Fef, just, no." 

Feferi leaned against him, "Aww...you're no fun! Wicked witch, for sure." 

He smiled indulgently, "An' you're a spoiled li'l prince. Good t'know we're in character here, your majesty." 

He could never stay mad at Feferi. Anyone else? Sure, he could hold a grudge as dearly as a lifeline, but not with his Fef. Not these days.

Kanaya asked, "So did Sollux promise to be here or did you just assume he'd follow wherever you led?"

Feferi looked up at him, and Eridan sighed and scratched the back of her neck, cheering her up immediately. "I done my level best in cajolin' him but he said he had some kind a work he had to get done or some stupid shit. Guess the fucker ain't yet figured that when Fef gets a soiree in the works, the rest a us fall in line." 

Feferi giggled, "Next time!"

Eridan finished his wine and shook his head, "Speakin' on that point, I'm nowhere near drunk enough. Ladies, Kar, if you'll excuse me...I already got a hangover scheduled for the mornin', an' I'd best get to work on that. You know how I hate to fuck up my schedule." He flourished his hand and turned prettily on his heel towards the bar.

Kanaya rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Dibs on not having to deal with him tomorrow."

"Dibs??" Karkat barked, "I'll be glad if I don't get called by the fuckers in my hall over whatever shit he's going to inevitably raise up like the goddamn Red Sea at Sollux _tonight._ "

Feferi frowned, "Are they still fighting?"

Kanaya and Karkat shared a look for a moment, unsure of how to answer that.

Kanaya took the reins, "Yes. Yes they are."

Feferi crossed her arms and pouted, "I'll have to talk with Eridan. Those two would get along SO well if they just played nice!”

Karkat snorted and tried not to laugh, waving dismissively. "It's no big deal, just might have to tell them to shut the fuck up a few times as the representative of the passive-aggression police squad."

"Hmph, not good enough! I know they'd get along swimmingly!" She finished her daiquiri and pushed her crown forward, "I'm gonna have a word with him, where is he? I'll get some dang peace in this kingdom." She looked around and saw Eridan on the dance floor once more, a fresh glass in hand and shimmying with Conan the Barbarian. 

Kanaya stared and then slowly shook her head, "This feels like a terrible stereotype, doesn't it?"

Karkat nodded, taking a good long pull from his neglected drink.

Feferi set her glass aside and started off towards Eridan, ready to tell him off, until Kanaya tugged at her sleeve. "Don't go into the line of fire, none would survive it."

"What? I'm just gonna smooth things out!" Feferi protested. "No big deal, just make him stop fighting with Sollux. Bam, done, everyone's happy!"

Kanaya searched her mind for any sort of deterrent, "Does it have to be now? When he's like this? It can wait til-" She wasn't about to say 'tomorrow', especially if he was guaranteed to be hung over, "Later?"

Feferi turned and saw Eridan swallowing the last of his drink and being handed a shot. She sighed, "...Guess you have a point." She turned to Karkat and leveled a finger at him, "But if he and Sollux get into it and bother anybody, you let me know and I'll get the two of them sorted right out!"

Karkat then couldn't help but fall back against the wall, cackling like a hyena while Kanaya shook her head once more.  
Feferi looked back and forth between Karkat and Kanaya in confusion. "What?" 

A little ways away on the dancefloor, Eridan had been given yet another shot, and rewarded his benefactor with a saucy little dance as his ears burned and his cheeks itched. His head was not beginning to swim so much as comfortably paddling along the deep-end, and while he certainly appreciated both the attention and the aesthetics of the broad-shouldered dog-boy he was dancing with, he found himself thinking on someone else. Someone rather slimmer, more angled bone than rounded muscle, with slender fingers and teeth all wrong. 

One more dance, he told himself, one more dance and then off to home. Just one, and...ooh, another shot! Eridan gave the doctor-slash-booze-fairy a flirtatious wink and downed the shot, and began to dance with him. After all, it would be rude to drink and run. 

By the time the free drinks dried up, Eridan was hardly in running condition, and he wandered off for the dorm with only one person in mind to see.


	11. >Sollux: Have Night Take Advantage of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Sollux spends his Halloween in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Blowjobs, dirty talk, drunkenness, and bad ideas.

Sollux had a few things for which to count himself lucky. 

For one, if had he been home, he would have had his mother lecture him not only about how he shouldn’t be on the “darn computer” so late, but also about how he was working without proper lighting. However, he was working late due to the fact that a crossed wire had left him with only one week to complete a project. Halloween just happened to be day six of said week. Thankfully, given the holiday, most of the hall happened to be empty; out at events of some sort, but such jocularity thankfully gleaned right past him and let him be.

His friends hadn’t though.

As it seemed, his newfound friends were the kind who would make every effort they could (wanted or not) to get him to join them, but he had told them repeatedly that not only was he busy, but not interested. Also, not dressing up.

While FF had been crushed, KK had commended him for escaping their clutches.

Once again, Sollux's phone thrummed on his desk, notifying him of a series of texts.

_hey jerk_  
 _here have a l00k at what y0u are missing 0ut 0n_  
 _y0ure still welc0me t0 c0me th0ugh_  
 _jerk_

One more text, this time a photograph: Nepeta and Aradia in matching Tinkerbell-esque fairy costumes complete with sparkly translucent wings, green and red respectively, grinning and hugging each other on a poorly-lit couch while flashing two-finger victory signs.

He flipped the phone open, getting a good glimpse of the picture and scowling at the text beneath it. Right, because he was some stupid scourge of a monster because he wanted to actually stay in the goddamn school she'd cajoled him into applying to in the first place. He threw the phone onto his bed and began typing once again.

Type type type. 

Whose business was it if he hated parties anyway? 

Type type backspace. 

Introversion isn’t a crime; not everyone is a party person. Simple fact.

Type. 

It wasn’t like he was skipping out on friends for shits and giggles, either. No finished program equals no pay, no pay equals no tuition, no tuition equals no more lunches with Little Miss Giggling Morbidity at the school’s god-awful cafeteria. It doesn’t take a genius to do that math.

Type type pause.

…Not that Aradia had any way to know about that. Nobody knew about this job. That was the whole fucking point. That was why he was getting a few grand a month in unmarked bills, from a different address every time, without so much as a spoken word to his employer.

Pause recline grumble.

Aradia couldn’t know what he was up to, he made damned sure of that. If she had the slightest notion, she’d understand, and she’d also understand why she couldn’t know.

Type backspace type profanity highlight erase-all type.

In truth, he _had_ been pretty rude to her when he turned down her invitations, especially when she called from the party. Like, really fucking rude. If anybody else had talked to AA like that, Sollux would have punched them in the nads and kicked them in the kidney. And here he was, asshole of the decade, pissing on the good nature of the one chick who could put up with him and his shit for, for how many years?

Stand turn retrieve phone.

He had to make things right. He had to call her and explain everything and beg her forgiveness and she had every right to never talk to him again and—

He really needed to finish that program. If he barreled through the night he could get that shit done, no problem, so long as he stayed focused. It probably wouldn’t even be an all-nighter; he had the logistics all mapped out, it was just a matter of putting together the code to make it work. It was, what? Nine fifteen now? Shit, if he couldn’t get this done by four in the morning, he’d eat his own shoes.

Put down phone.

Retrieve bottle of Voltage instead.

Chug.

Tomorrow he’d make everything right with Aradia. He’d apologize and buy her pancakes and she’d insist on paying anyway and he wouldn’t let her, and she’d show him pictures of all the shit he missed at the party and tell him any good stories--which was really better than going because he wouldn’t have to actually deal with all those fucktards in person--and everything would be honey and flapjacks and nothing would hurt.

Tomorrow.

Type type type.

Right now, he had shit to do.

==>

The program was almost done except for the final troubleshooting when insistent knuckles rapped against Sollux's bathroom door, around two-something in the morning.

Sollux tried to ignore it, but ended up pushing himself up from his desk chair and tearing his door open and staring at the intruder. He was barefoot, and hadn't even the patience to put his sunglasses on for the benefit of company.

Eridan's long fingers darted out into Sollux's hair as he brought his lipsticked lips to his in a sloppy, vodka-flavored kiss.

Sollux squawked slightly at the sudden intrusion, trying to pull back somewhat, "What are you doing?" Regardless, his underwear had already begun to grow tighter as he smelled Eridan’s perfume, all other thoughts falling to the wayside and left behind in the dust.

"I'm hungry, Sol..." Eridan drawled, pushing him backwards towards Sollux's bed. "Spent all night dancin' an' I got me _such_ an appetite." He put on his falsetto, and Sollux could feel a hard lump against his hip through Eridan's tiny black dress, "You ain't gonna deny a girl, are you Sol? I know you got somethin' I can enjoy, an' my mouth's waterin' just thinkin' about it."

Shit--Sollux thought, his flesh burning from his collar bones all the way up to his ears as he gulped in a breath. This was wrong, this was wrong and stupid and sudden and he really shouldn't take advantage of him if he was this drunk, but...Eridan was the one initiating? Did that make it all right? He leaned against his bed, staring at Eridan barely illuminated by the light of his laptop. Stark white blended with the haze of shadows against his features. His lips were slick with a lipstick color he couldn't identify. He breathed in once more, chest shuddering in slight panic. 

…Maybe it was all right.

Beer-clumsy hands gripped and kneaded down Sollux's neck and shoulders, his chest and sides, inching further down. Eridan purred, kicking off his heels, "Pleeeease, Sol? I been thinkin' on you allll night, you an' that thick, hard cock a yours." Pushing Sollux to the bed, he sank to his knees between Sollux's legs and began to kiss and pet the fly of his jeans. "I want it so bad, Sol, you don't even know, but you, you're game to feed a starvin' girl, ain't you?"

Sollux involuntarily pushed his hips up into the needy petting, unleashing a low groan from his throat as he nodded his head, "Then go on and do it." 

If asked later, Eridan would insist that he took so long unfastening Sollux's fly to tease him, not because he was too drunk to get it right on the first try, and a merry “fuck you” for insinuating otherwise.

He managed to open Sollux's jeans successfully and tug them down to his ankles. He began to mouth Sollux's erection through his briefs with exaggerated moans, leaving lipstick smears on the white fabric as he spread Sollux's thighs further with his hands.

Sollux dropped his head back and hissed through his teeth--cock growing harder, more sensitive the longer Eridan put off freeing him. He wasn't in any rush, but the merciless teasing was making his head spin. Fuck, he thought. Sollux opened his eyes briefly, staring down at him with a gaping jaw, "Such a slut..."

"Mmhmm..." Eridan hummed against Sollux's member, licking the cheap cotton blend towards the tip. He drew back and ran his thumb along the underside, and began to tug his briefs down. Sollux obliged by lifting his hips, and Eridan wasted no time in slithering the flat of his tongue along and over Sollux's cock.

Sollux was flabbergasted at the sight of him so shamelessly worshipping his dick. He couldn't think, couldn't do more than just watch him for a few moments. His tongue slipped over a particularly sensitive fold beneath his head and made him choke out a cry, his head fell back as he tried to catch his breath, "Shit ED, fucking- come on and suck it..."

Eridan glanced up, worming a finger behind Sollux's sack. "No appreciation for a good build up, I swear." He mouthed his way down along the side to the base and nuzzled Sollux's thigh, "I been waitin' for this all fuckin' night; you'll live through two minutes a sweet teasin' while I savor this." 

Before Sollux could object, he began to suck on Sollux's scrotum.

Sollux actually groaned out loud from the sensation, thighs tensing, toes twisting around each other before he growled, "Needy fucking cumslut."

Eridan licked up the underside to Sollux's tip, moving at a snail’s pace, himself growing harder at every frustrated, horny little noise Sollux made. He gripped him at the base and began to palm himself through his panties as he swirled his tongue around the tip and closed his lips around the head of Sollux's dick.

Sollux groaned once more, "Go down, go down, come on..." He finally dug his fingers into Eridan's hair and gripped tightly, pushing his hips forward.

"Hold up a sec." Eridan pulled away only long enough to pull off his wig and cap, freeing his brown and purple locks, natural waves flattened by an evening out. He stroked Sollux with one hand, grinning as he guided Sollux’s hand back into his mane, "If you're gonna pull my hair, make fuckin' sure I can feel it, capiche?"

Sollux's eyes were pitch pools upon Eridan's and he tugged fiercely on his hair. Sollux’ could feel Eridan’s breath on his cock, still glistening with his saliva, "You want it so bad ED, so get to it already."

Eridan groaned and his hardness twitched, but he put all his focus on Sollux as he dove down to take a few inches of him into his mouth. He bobbed his head and sucked, his mouth warm and wet and eager.

Sollux's grip softened for just a moment as he was swallowed. He let his thoughts go silent for a moment, instead just relishing that tongue, those lips around him.

Eridan tightened his lips as he pulled back his head, drawing off him with a wet pop. He worked a finger behind Sollux's sack, eyes flicking up to Sollux's as he teased him with the point of his tongue. "Am I pretty, Sol?" he asked, barely-audible and voice slurred and dripping. 

Sollux's voice came rough and only half sarcastic as he responded, "Oh yeah, you're so fucking pretty."

"Say it like you mean it. Please?" Eridan pleaded, pouting, his lips brushing against Sollux's frenulum as he spoke. "Call me a sexy li'l slut. Pull my hair like you need me, scratch my shoulders like you're brandin' me. Just...fuckin' do it!" 

The brush of those plush, made up lips rubbing him right there caused Sollux to push his hips up and groan up into the air, dropping his hands down and gripping Eridan's shoulders. The hands then moved back up his neck blindly to pull at his hair. 'Yeah... yeah you fucking whore..." He spoke more to himself than to Eridan, forcing his cock back into the inviting mouth and holding the back of his head, "Take it, take it you slut..."

Eridan cried out, so sweet and needy it took Sollux by surprise, as he dug his fingers into Sollux's thigh and pressed harder into his taint. He quickly grabbed Sollux's shaft and greedily forced him into his mouth until the head brushed against the back of Eridan's throat. He pulled back only enough to bob his head, a speedy rhythm of messy slurping.  
Sollux encouraged him under his breath, thrusting his hips, "That's right, yeah, do it, suck me off you little shit."

Whimpering through a more-than-ample mouthful, Eridan doubled-down and took more of him in, courtesy of a gag reflex long since worn into submission. Eager though he was to please, he spared one hand under his skirt, fumbling to tug down the panties he had, in more sober hours, had the forethought to put on over his garter-belt and thigh-high fishnets.

Sollux tensed and hissed through his teeth--struggling to hold back, not wanting to come so fast, but Eridan was making a huge effort in trying to make him come already. That night had sucked, the program, the parties, the guilt trips and the self-hate and the error-does-not-compile messages…everything about the night up until Eridan’s abrupt entry could go suck hairy donkey balls, but this? This was fucking _bliss._

He bit down on his lower lip and continued rocking his hips with a wicked grin. 

Yearning for more words, more praise, more abuse, Eridan sucked and slurped like a pro, the hand between Sollux's legs inching backwards to tease him just so, the hand between his own legs desperately fisting his own member.

"ED, yeah, oh damn, fuck..." Sollux spread his thighs, cheeks spreading as well under his fingers.

Eridan bobbed his head lower, his lips finally brushing against the base of Sollux's shaft. His fingers worked back and forth, pressing and kneading against Sollux's by-now familiar peritoneum.

"Suck it down..." Sollux grinned wolfishly, "Get your fingers back further, you slut."

Eridan wasted no time, sucking and bobbing with his whorish best as his fingers circled Sollux's puckered hole.  
The sensitive nerves of his entrance were being stimulated, causing a weird, heady sort of heat to build up back there as well, Sollux could ask him to push in, it was so easy, so very easy, and Eridan might not even remember in the morning to gloat over…but that would require lube before it became a good idea. 

Fuck. 

He hissed once more, a leg sliding over Eridan's shoulder and relaxing into the lazy position, "Yeah, yeah, ED that feels good, yeah, you want to fuck so bad, don't you?"

"Mmmmhmmm!" came the needy hum, and Eridan bobbed his head in agreement. He tightened his grip around himself, hazily wishing he'd thought to slick himself up before starting all of this, and he paused only to wipe his palm against his precome-dribbling tip. “Mmmm….”

"Oh, oh-!" That hum served to make Sollux tense and thrust his hips, the building, molten heat finally erupting from within him as he tugged Eridan's hair, "I'm gonna-" Without further warning, Sollux emptied himself, stroking and gripping Eridan's neck, and he found he could only breathe in broken gasps.

Eridan spluttered in surprise and he drew back, as he felt the hot come pouring into him. He lapped along the underside, base to tip, as he drew away, catching every drop of Sollux's seed in his mouth or on his tongue, and he smiled wickedly at Sollux, breathless and with a white trail on his tongue. He swallowed, "Tell me I done good."

Sollux panted, leaning forward with a dizzy nod, "Shit yeah you did, ED. You hunted me down just for that?"

Shoving Sollux's leg off his shoulder, Eridan straightened and leaned towards Sollux, pumping his dick faster in his fist. "Tell me that was hot as fuck."

Sollux was silent for a moment, looking down at Eridan's rapidly moving hand and smirked, "Really? You need me telling you that or you can't sploodge yourself?"

Eridan grunted in frustration, and pressed closer, wanton and panting. "Tell me, Sol! Tell me you want me doin' that more often. Tell me you want me to come. Tell me you want _me!_ " 

He arched back and groaned, loudly, _"Please!"_

"Jesus ED, you are desperate, aren't you?" Sollux chuckled, speaking under his breath. He slid his hands in Eridan's hair once more, squeezing tightly, "Yeah, you can go on and finish yourself off good and hard in your hand, slut."

Eridan clamped his eyes tightly shut and cried out, "SOLLLL!" as he climaxed, bent over Sollux's lap and emptying his load into the pool of denim and briefs pooled at Sollux's feet. 

Sollux's eyes widened and he sat transfixed at the sight of him, feeling heat stir in him once again. He'd never heard someone call out his name so passionately before, and he hadn’t even touched Eridan’s cock. He dug his teeth into his lower lip and watched the spoiled, bratty little twat come completely undone over a few little words and an abused scalp and shoulders.

When he was finally spent, Eridan collapsed on the floor to his side, panties around his knees. He took a few shaky sighs and rubbed his throat, "Fuck, you ain't exactly easy on the jaw, are you Sol?"

Sollux shrugged unapologetically, leaning back against his wall with a long exhale, "Hey, you started it."

Laughing softly, Eridan slowly rocked up to a seated position, and hoisted himself up to his feet with the help of the edge of the bed. "It's a fair cop." 

Sollux cocked his head slightly, not opening his eyes, "Hmm?"

Eridan leaned down, a little wobbly, and patted Sollux's cheek. "Don't worry your pretty li'l head on it, tasty." He picked up his wig and turned to the door, his panties falling around his ankles, and he failed to notice stepping out of them as he swayed his way out. 

Dizzy himself, Sollux flopped to his side, not even bothering to pick his pants and underwear off the floor quite yet. Lower half cold, he dragged his blanket up around his legs and let his eyes drift shut for a few moments. Everything else could wait.

The door shut behind Eridan. A soft sound of water in the sink, a cup clinking against the sink, and another door, and Sollux could hear no more.


	12. Nepeta: Purruse Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Nepeta befriends a fellow roleplayer and Aradia attempts to make merry with poutworthy results.

_-A few hours earlier and across campus-_

A song ended, and Nepeta finished dancing with the party's host, leaving her to go and carouse with other guests, and Nepeta looked around. As expected, Aradia and Equius were dancing in a corner and off in their own little world, he dressed as Zorro and moving a little too stiffly, she in a perfect red duplicate of Nepeta’s Tinkerbell dress and too distracted by Equius’s eyes to keep her red sparkly wings from bumping into things. Nepeta fondly rolled her eyes and spied a couch with only one occupant, and she bounced along towards it, leaving a faint trail of green glitter in her wake.

There sat a curvy ginger-haired girl in a festive jester costume the likes of which Renaissance Faire regulars would envy. Around her were several packets of cherry fun dip, some empty, some yet to be opened. Red pointed shades perched on her round, upturned nose, and she the stick from a fun dip packet stuck out of her mouth like a cigarette. She fumbled at her side, knocking a white dragon plush doll to the floor in the process.

Nepeta bounced over and plopped down on the couch, "Hi! I haven't seen you around before, are you a friend of Jessie's?" She gestured to the host, who was currently cheering for a black-haired pirate wench who was creaming Aquaman in a drinking contest.

The girl lifted her head in surprise at the sudden intrusion, "Oh! I only sort of know her, I'm here because my friend wanted to come out and party. Also, have you seen my dragon? I think I dropped him."

Nepeta craned her neck, "Ooooh! I see it!" She dove across the girl's lap and grabbed the dragon, before scrabbling back into her seat, holding it up. "Oh my gosh! You have to tell me where you got him! Did you make him? He's adorable!"

The ginger girl grinned like a shark, "Yep! I made him a couple years ago. His name's Pyralspite."

"Do you still have the pattern? I need to make a million of these and sleep in the pile!" Nepeta looked at her possible-new-best-buddy-contender, "What was your name?"

"Terezi. I am the courtly, comely jester that lurks in the night!" She flourished a cane topped with the merry head of a jester, "Who might be joining in my revelry?"

Nepeta settled the dragon into the cushions between them, as if he were just another party patron. "Nepeta, part-time fairy and occasional cat, and I'm also totally about to steal some of your fun dip. Is that cool?" she asked, already ripping into a packet.

Terezi pointed at her sharply, "Only if you can properly acknowledge that the red is the best flavor. Otherwise there's plenty of that shape-shifting green-blue mess floating around here somewhere."

"All hail the cherry kingdom! Long may it reign!" Nepeta said through a mouthful of sugar-coated stick. 

"Hehehehe," Terezi giggled, leaning back into the couch. There soon came a victorious screech from the nearby table of drinkers as the pirate slammed down her mug. Terezi turned her head and waved her cane once more, nearly thwapping Nepeta on the head, "Glorious victory!"

Nepeta followed Terezi's gaze, taking note to be careful around her for fear of flailing. "What? Did your friend win?" she asked, taking note of the black-haired woman cackling and openly mocking Aquaman.

"Yes, Vriska's really competitive and it's difficult to not be caught up in her excitement. She's cool like that. Even when we larp, she's a total badass whenever she lays waste to the enemy."

Nepeta's eyes went as broad as saucers and she grabbed Terezi by the shoulders, "You larp?? Do you roleplay too? Eeee! I'm always looking for more roleplay buddies! We just became best friends!"

Terezi in turn grinned wider, "Yes!! I'm a grand, noble dragon in pursuit of justice!"

“Eeeeeee, we have to play together! I'm a mighty cat warrior and huntress. What's your online handle? I'll introduce you to the rest of my party!"

"It may be too long for you to remember. Why don't I write it down?" She asked, searching around for her bag on the couch. 

"Please!" Nepeta squealed, bouncing in her seat with her wings flopping about. She noticed her two compatriots approaching the couch, and scooted closer to make room, "Speaking of, here comes my DM. Hey Aradia! Equius! Come meet my new friend!"

Aradia pulled Equius along by his arm, smiling brightly and limping a little from dancing in uncomfortable shoes, "Hello new friend!" 

Nepeta gestured to the two new-comers, "Equius is my oldest, bestest friend, and Aradia's my roommate and sometimes DM. She likes to play mediums and witches, and Equius is a paladin when I can get him to play along. Guys, this is Terezi."

Aradia waved and looked up at Equius, "Want to sit?"

Equius eyed Terezi curiously, "Are you blind?"

Aradia looked up at Equius, horrified, "Don't be rude!"

Terezi cackled in his direction, "Astute, aren't you? Sharp eyes, but dull manners?"

Equius then realized his folly, looking between the girls, "I was merely suggesting-"

Terezi shook her head with a knowing grin.

Aradia looked back and forth from Equius to Terezi, "Wait, really? I'm so sorry." Honestly, she had thought Equius was making a comment about Terezi’s teal-and-red color scheme.

Nepeta hugged Terezi comfortingly, more on instinct than anything else, but Terezi simply shrugged and dug into her fundip again, "Going blind, to be specific. I've already begun to learn braille and it's actually a waaaay more interesting way to write than normal. Easier too."

Aradia relaxed and leaned against Equius, "Well, it's nice to meet you." She squeaked suddenly as a muffled text chime rang, and dug her phone out of her cleavage, still vibrating, "Pardon me a second, will you?"

Terezi waved and nodded in turn, and Equius remained where he stood, deciding that small talk would be appropriate at this juncture. "Are you a student?"

"Criminal Justice major, minor in jurisprudence," Terezi replied, "Why, aren't you?"

Equius then looked slightly flustered, an eyebrow raising, but keeping his mouth shut.

Nepeta rolled her eyes, "Don't mind him, he gets like this. Equius does engineering so he can build robots. Still won't build me a mech, though, the big meanie." 

"A robot of the sheer size and magnitude of which you request is not only immensely difficult to build, but has no practical use on a college campus!" Equius responded in a completely serious manner. Even Terezi had to raise her eyebrows and snicker at that.

A few feet away, Aradia was texting her favorite recluse. 

_hey s0llux! we are having a l0t 0f fun but its n0t t00 late f0r y0u t0 c0me al0ng_

The response she received was short and to the point.

_no bu2y._

_y0u always say that when y0u just d0nt feel like d0ing stuff_  
 _are y0u sure y0u cant even c0me say hi?_  
 _i c0uld intr0duce y0u t0 equius!_

_ye2 iim 2ure becau2e iif ii wa2nt bu2y iid be out wiith kk and the other bunch of people who al2o wouldnt leave me alone about not goiing out._

_well excuse me f0r trying t0 make sure my friend has all the 0pp0rtunities he needs t0 s0cialize_  
 _and while we are at it please pard0n me f0r wanting t0 make sure y0u have s0me fun n0w and then_

_ii can have fun by my2elf, now leave me alone!_

Aradia snickered as she typed _t00 much inf0rmati0n_

_fuck you aa._   
_fuck you and fuck the goddamn hor2e you're apparently bangiing now._   
_enjoy your freaky jiizz-2oaked 2ociial foray2 wiithout me._

Snorting, Aradia stomped back to the others. "Sollux is a schmuck," she declared, thrusting her phone into Equius's hands, before sitting down next to Nepeta, "Take a picture of us, will you, sweetie?"

Equius fidgeted with the camera function, surprised though he may have been by her mood, "What did he say?"

"A lot of words that mean both 'I am staying home' and 'I am a big dumb idiot' at the same time." She scooted next to Nepeta and hugged her, flashing a victory sign, "Vogue, Neppers." 

Nepeta snickered and mirrored her pose, two perfect little red and green fairies.

As the shot was taken, Equius replied, "It perplexes me how you let him treat you so rudely if you won't tolerate anything less of perfection from me."

"Me?" Aradia smiled sweetly, standing and accepting her phone back, "I don't ask anything of you that you don't ask of yourself. Besides, he isn't my boyfriend." She gestured to the empty seat on the couch, "My boyfriend standards are very high, couldn't you tell?"

"Very lofty indeed, from what I can see." Terezi piped in.

"Didn't you say you were going blind?" Equius replied cheekily.

Terezi cackled, "...Is that humor I hear, Mr. Mechanic?"

Nepeta giggled, and Aradia pushed Equius to the couch and sat in his lap, firing off a few last texts and a photograph to Sollux, before shoving her phone back into her cleavage, safely storing it and hiding it from view.

Equius watched and gingerly laid his hands on her thighs, grinning to himself at the act of holding her close in such a crowded space.

"So this friend of yours, does he crusade with you?" Terezi asked, repositioning herself to hear properly.

"Not willingly," Aradia shrugged, pressing back against Equius. "He never seemed to like roleplay, but another old friend of mine plays with us as a beast tamer. I'm sure he'd love to have another player, right Nepeta?"

Nepeta nodded enthusiastically and pulled her own slim phone out from her costume's bodice. "Speaking of Tavros, I'm gonna get some photos for him!" She bounced up and bounded over to a passing sexy nurse to conscript her into playing cameraperson, before diving back to the couch to cuddle up with the happy couple; after a second thought, she reached over and pulled Terezi closer, "Come on, say cheese!"

Terezi grinned and leaned in, looking toward where she thought the camera was. Given the low light of the party, she ended up looking more to the left of the camera's lens.

After a couple shots were taken, Nepeta leapt up to retrieve her phone and sat back down, grabbing another fun dip, "I'll send them tomorrow."

"Hey Tereeeeeeeeziiiiiiii!" came a voice. The sofa-sitters turned as the pirate girl sauntered over, "You and me are gonna wreck some pansies’ shit in a game of manhunt starting, oh, about thirty seconds ago!" She was long and angular, everything about her body was pointed and rail-thin, save for a wide pair of hips and round, firm rump.

An annoyed eyebrow raised from behind Terezi’s red spectacles. "Fascinating. And when, exactly, did I volunteer for this?"

"I'm telling you now, duh, now get up!" The woman pouted, grabbing Terezi’s wrist and trying to wrench her bodily from the sofa.

Terezi dug in her heels and refused to be budged, grabbing onto the couch back just in case, "Vriska, even putting aside the audacity of dragging me into a game without asking me, you KNOW I can't see for shit at night."

Undeterred, Vriska tugged harder, "That's whole fucking point! Nobody can see! You already have an advantage since you're basically blind now! Never let an advantage go to waste, isn’t that a Scourge Sisters motto? Come oooooooon!"

Terezi yanked her hand backwards to her face and licked Vriska’s wrist, making her release her grip in disgust. Terezi settled back in the couch, glaring at her, "I'm not falling in a ravine or in some stinky mudhole because you want to hook up with some guys tonight."

"Oh for shit’s sake!" She whined, throwing her hands up in the air, "You used to be fun, you used to not care about risks!"

"Don’t lecture me about risks when you don’t have to take any! If I got lost or broke my cane, I’d have to live with that, not you.”

"You'll only get better at blind adventuring if you try! It’s all mind over matter anyway, the old Terezi wouldn’t let a little squinting get in the way of a good time,” Vriska snorted, folding her arms across her chest, complete with a pout and a derisive snort.

"Gasp! Of course, that’s all it takes! You’re a marvel of modern medicine, I should expect you’ll be hearing from the Nobel commission any day now," Terezi jeered.

"Fine, whatever, have fun with your level-three nerds; maybe you can go on an epic quest to find your lawful-neutral oversized iguana some fucking balls." With an annoyed eyeroll and a flip of her long black hair, Vriska stomped off, grabbing the arms of the first two tipsy frat boys she came across towards the exit, leaving Terezi, unphased but for a slight droop to her shoulders.

Nepeta clung to Terezi's side, grumbling and glaring after Vriska, while Aradia reached over and patted Terezi on the shoulder. "Well _I_ think dragons are cool."

Terezi shrugged, pulling her hat further over her eyes, "She just gets like that."

Nepeta nevertheless stayed at Terezi's shoulder, and pulled Pyralspite out from between them and set him on Terezi's lap and tried to mimic a low, rumbly voice, "Indeed! We noble dragon-kind are a proud race, and haters are crunchy and good with ketchup."

Any sign of gloom Terezi exhibited vaporized with another reedy cackle, while Equius shook his head and chuckled at his friend.

"Nom nom nom, tasty haters! Graar!" Nepeta rasped.

Aradia giggled and settled back into Equius's lap as well as she could in her costume, enjoying her lovely pre-warmed and muscular seat. Equius then tried to pull Aradia back further, finding he enjoyed the plush warmth of her body upon him. In his efforts, he bent the frame of one of her wings at an odd angle, which then tore the fabric.

Hearing an odd sort of ripping sound, Aradia turned to look at her wing, "Son of a--!" She scooted forward and unhooked her wings, and tried to bend it back in place, disappointment clear on her face.

Equius' expression twisted, "Cursed, damnable cheap things, I told you to use a studier wire for them!"

Nepeta glared daggers at Equius. "What do you mean, 'cheap'? Excuse me, but who's the veteran cosplayer here?"

Aradia made a pained sort of whimper, looking from her bent wing to Nepeta and back again, "Neppy, I'm so sorry...." 

Nepeta scooted over and hugged Aradia, bumping Equius in the face with her own green wing, "Shoooooosh, it's okay! Really!" 

"But you worked so hard on them! And I should've taken care and I messed it up and I'm really, really sorry."

Equius interjected, "I had told the both of you that your wings would be both fragile and cumbersome if you were to wear them while going out."

Nepeta gave Aradia a flat he-doesn't-get-it look, "Equius? I know you think you're helping, but you're not." She added a comforting pat to Aradia's knee. "You looked great, we got some awesome photos, you can just throw out the wings now, you still look really pretty! Doesn't she?" she asked, elbowing Equius.

Surprised, Equius replied immediately, "Of course she does." He looked directly at Aradia, "You're a lovely, gorgeous girl regardless of your wings."

Still dejected, Aradia gave him a little half-smile and stood, regarding the broken accessory. "I guess I'll just chuck this..." she said, turning and slumping towards the exit.

Equius, frustrated, followed after her, "If you give me the proper amount of time and working specifications I can craft you better ones! Stronger ones!" And then they were out of earshot.

Nepeta couldn't help but laugh and shake her head as she unhooked her own wings and set them aside, then scooped Pyralspite up and held him to her ear. "What's that, little dragon? Bitches be cray? Well said, sir, well said."

"Bitches are not necessarily cray if the situation they find themselves in is itself cray as well. It is a mad, mad world." Terezi proclaimed, retrieving her proud, plush companion.

"It is a vicious cycle of both cray and bitches," Nepeta nodded, sagely, before perking up. "Hey, hey, your noble dragonliness...wanna come lay siege to the guacamole bowl with me?"

Terezi made her way to her feet with a cascade of paper wrappers and pointed with her cane, grinning like a crocodile, "Onward!"


	13. >Sollux: Ditch Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Sollux is dragged about in search of eggs on All Saint's Day and Aradia celebrates as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epi: Sorry for our slight hiatus, in case you haven't read; I've been between jobs and just turned 24 and Dyzzy recently had a major death in her family. We'll be updating a bit more regularly now hopefully. c:

November came for Sollux with a bifurcated sleep punctuated by a panicked awakening to finish his program before its deadline. The second time he awoke, he realized that he had five minutes to get to class. 

Digital Theory. The thought made him want to laugh. He had already performed above and beyond the purpose of THAT class in a manner of hours back in September. He idly wondered if he could just do a demonstration of some of his work and just get the credit and get it over with. Seeing as though it was a pre-requisite course and every smarmy, spectacled fuck with a caffeine addicted who grew up on Brainscan and Hackers thought they could beat the system, it was unlikely the professors would listen... 

Meh, he could skip a day. He was sure they'd understand. Actually, fuck it, whether they understood or not, he didn’t care, he wasn’t going to go spraining anything to make it to a class he didn’t need, didn’t like, couldn’t contribute to, and had perfect attendance before now. Fuck understanding, fuck digital theory, and fuck punctuality right in its hypothetical face.

A few moments of sluggishness passed as he rolled out of bed and to his feet…only to step in something sticky and wet in the wad of underwear on his floor.

A second of confusion came and went before Sollux recalled his visitor from the night before. _Fucking hell, ED…_ he thought. He limped over to the bathroom and banged on the door.

"Ngh...Come on in, just doin' my hair" came a tired voice on the other side of the door. Inside, a bleary-eyed and still-moist Eridan was preening with a shower-damp towel draped over his bare shoulders. He waved weakly, not looking over, "Unless you need to piss or somethin', I'm goin' to stay put; shit ain't behavin' today. Christ Almighty, my head is poundin'..." He looked over, blinking, "What's your problem?"

Sollux stood there silently looking him over for a moment before responding, "Uh, did you realize that... um, how much of last night do you remember?"

"Last night...?" Eridan's eyes unfocused and he fiddled with his comb for a moment, before a smirk pulled at his lips. "I seem to recall you sayin' I was pretty." He ran his thumbnail over the tines of his comb, "Why? Don't tell me I managed to go offendin' your oh-so delicate sensibilities."

"You came right next to my bed on the floor, dipshit" Sollux barked as he angled his foot in the sink and washed his foot clean.

"Tch, watch your volume, will you?" Eridan spat, rubbing his temple, “Fuckin’ acoustics in here are a godforsaken blight on a poor beleaguered brainstem…” 

Sollux grabbed a washcloth from the middle of both sinks, knowing very well it was Eridan's and wet it, walking back into his room.

Eridan eyed him and followed after, deciding his hair was good enough for now. "Look, you're makin' a bigger deal a this than needs be made, but I'll be the bigger man here an' apologize. Sorry I got your floor an' not your fuckin' face. Now can we please get over ourselves an' go get some breakfast? I need hangover eggs, an' you're comin' with."

Sollux dropped the washcloth into the hamper and turned his head back toward the door, "Mind telling me why?"

"'Cause if I don't drag you along, you don't eat. Look, I'll fuckin' buy, I got no shits to give on the matter, but you're comin' along an' gettin' some manner a nourishment into your system, so put on your big boy britches an' let's go already."

It occurred to Sollux that moment that he actually was broke for at least another week. The idea of slightly better than cafeteria food was incredibly tempting. He also had nowhere he needed to be immediately. The reasons were entirely too stacked up for him to look away from. He grit his teeth and pulled his jeans off the floor and slid into them.

Eridan watched him, one eyebrow quirked incredulously as he put one hand on his hip and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. "Sol. Are those the pants that was 'round your ankles last night? Tell me you ain't re-equippin' the selfsame unwashed trousers that happened to serve as cream-catcher."

Sollux looked at the other pair of jeans that were on the floor and groaned, "Jesus ED and you keep bitching about how gross I am?" He grabbed the pants and threw them into the hamper, crossing back to the other side of the room to grab a pair of socks.

"Fine, I'll wait outside, but shake a leg, Sol," Eridan said, throwing his hands up and turning to exit Sollux's room with a dramatic sigh. "Christ's missin' foreskin, the shit I put up with..."

Sollux scowled and yelled back, "Remind me to piss in your shoes make us even then, shitstain!" He then proceeded to wrap the yellow scarf he'd gotten from Aradia around his neck. True to her word, it was warm enough to fight the New Jersey autumn chill. Once his jacket and dual-colored sunglasses were on, he stepped outside of the door.

Eridan exited his own room only a split-second after him, in a well-tailored coat and deep indigo scarf, and began to draw sleek black gloves over his ringed fingers as he led towards the elevator. "Lucky you're a good fuck, Sol; sometimes I ain't too clear on why I stand for your abuse. C'mon, we're goin' to Maggie's Cafe."

Sollux's eyebrows furrowed, as the name wasn't familiar to him, "Is it far? Are we walking or taking the bus?"

"Plebian. We can take my car...trust me, the place is worth the ride." Eridan walked down the hall and pressed the button for the elevator. "Though if you so much as set two neurons onto makin' good on your threats to piss on my property, I'm goin' to pull out your toenails."

"Are you even capable of driving right now?" Sollux asked with an dubious stare, "Last I checked you were only at half health."

Eridan shot him a glare, exiting the elevator, "You're castin' doubts on my ability to comport myself behind the wheel? I'm hungover, not drunk, you mistrustin’ wretch." 

"Hey, you're the one dragging me out of my room to go to your fancy little girly cafe, the least you can do is not fucking kill me on the way over." Sollux sneered.

Eridan fell quiet for a moment before conceding. "...The bus'll do the job. Thinkin' on it, public transport is said to be good for the environment an' all that." He walked along briskly toward where he thought the bus stop was.

Sollux tugged on Eridan's scarf, "Hey dumbass, the bus stop is the other way."

"You have the sincerest a invitations to kiss my ass," Eridan snorted, following Sollux. 

Sollux led the way, arriving at the sign post moments later, "Spoiler alert, you're not always right just because you stick your nose up far enough into the atmosphere." 

"You open your mouth, but all I can hear is you RSVP-in' to said ass-kissin'," Eridan spat, rubbing his temple.

The bus ride was silent; Eridan winced as the bus took a pothole, his head not thanking him for the jostle, and Sollux made no particular move to improve the mood until the doors opened out into a part of town he didn't recognize. Eridan exited the bus with Sollux behind him into an obviously nice part of town; boutiques and coffee shops lined the street, and Eridan headed off towards one on the corner with the "Maggie's" sign in bright yellow letters.

Sollux lifted his glasses to look at the cute little shop, contorting his face slightly before following Eridan inside. He shoved his hands in his back pockets and looked around, choosing to not make a scene at the sheer oddness he had gotten into.

Eridan nodded to the hostess and the two were ushered to a booth; the atmosphere was nice. Homey. There was something quaint and comforting, and the whole building smelled like fresh-baked cinnamon rolls, hot sausage gravy, and just-squeezed orange juice. Eridan didn't even look at the menu; "I'm havin' a souffle; best damned way to get your hangover eggs. You?"

Sollux’s jaw dropped, expression contorting further in frustration as he exclaimed, "How the hell should I know I haven't even looked at the menu yet, dickhead!"

Eridan gestured towards the menu, "S'cuse me for makin' a roundabout suggestion. Please, princess, by all means, take your time."

Sollux pushed the menu back towards Eridan and grumbled to the young waitress, "Just whatever he said he's having, I'll have it too."

Eridan gave a long-suffering look to the waitress and ordered two gruyere and speck souffles, two coffees, and two glasses of water, with an order of small pecan rolls on the side to share. As she bustled off, he cradled his head in his hand.

"Shit, you couldn't just let me look at the menu for a couple minutes before she showed up? Seriously?" Sollux leaned forward in an effort to be intimidating.

Waving dismissively, Eridan leaned back and draped an arm across the back of the bench seat. "You're goin' to be thankin' me, Captor; this place got the best fuckin' souffles to be found in this hemisphere, so just hush up an' await an egg dish that God himself would weep over."

Sollux slumped back in his seat with a low growl, scowling at the undoubtedly nonconfrontational kitten painting directly across from their booth, "How the fuck did you find this place anyway? It just reeks of what I suspect you and the girls do after your mall trips."

"You know what manner a shit they serve at the school commissary, Sol. Sure, it's edible, but livin' on that no-star swill will drain a man a his will t'live. Man craves the finer things in life, Sol, an' so he seeks 'em out." 

The waitress brought their drinks, and Eridan downed half of his glass of water in one go. "Lord a mercy, I drank too much last night..."

"Huh. Couldn't tell, pwnstar." Sollux deadpanned as he bobbed the ice in his water with his straw, "Have you learned any lessons from the experience?"

"The same lesson I keep meanin' to learn. Stop drinkin' three shots earlier, an' skip the cheap stuff." He slipped off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes and the bridge of his nose. "God willin' I'll learn it proper this time."

Sollux's eyes darted quickly over Eridan's face, scanning the finer little details before going back to his water glass. If this was how Eridan looked when he 'felt like shit', then Sollux couldn't tell a lick of difference to be honest. Maybe a little more whiny, yes, but this was _Eridan_ after all, a shitton of whining was to be expected; otherwise he was still as easy on the eyes as ever. Sollux inched the glasses over to his side of the table nonchalantly, examining the frames, "Spoilers, you don't. Then bitch at me more. Maybe you won't blow your load on my floor."

"If you'd wanted it on your face, you should a just said so an' I'd a obliged," Eridan grumbled, not bothering to look at Sollux as the waitress approached. Only when the scent of pecan rolls and hot cheesy eggy goodness graced his senses did he bother to take his hand from his face, "Finally...Oi! Set your kleptomaniac sighs elsewhere," he said indignantly as he snatched his glasses back. He drew the napkin over his lap and cut his souffle with his fork, watching steam rise from the soft, pale deliciousness.

Sollux cackled nasally before reaching for his pecan roll, picking the nuts from the top of it and eating them, "How is it kleptomania if I just willingly did it without compulsion? Plus they didn't even leave the table."

Eridan rolled his eyes and shook his head, choosing instead to put his attention on his souffle, deciding that the meal itself was a better conversation partner than the douche in the opposite seat. He couldn't help but smile at the first bite, however, his mood improving instantaneously.

Sollux had no such civility in table manners, instead choosing to hork down his pastry in large bites. While not crass enough to chew with his mouth open, it was a wonder he did not choke.

The fork fell from Eridan's hands, clattering to the plate as he spluttered, "Good God, Sol! I seen chimps with better table manners'n you! Are you even fuckin' _tastin’_ it?"

Sollux stared quizzically at Eridan's obvious overreaction, "Um, yes? That's why I'm still eating it instead of leaving it on the plate, idiot." 

Eridan smacked Sollux's hand, making him drop the last bite of pecan roll onto the plate, "Use your cutlery, philistine! Treat your food with a li'l goddamn respect before it chokes you in indignant retaliation." He picked up Sollux's fork, "See? This is a fork. Eff Oh Arr Kay. Fooorrrk. Human bein's use this when we're eatin', though I confess that stabbin' you in your fool face with it might render it a respectable multtasker."

Sollux spitefully picked up the last bit of his roll with his fingers and popped it into his mouth with an evil smirk. His arms then rose in what might be considered a challenge, "What now?"

Eridan rapped Sollux's knuckles with the back of his own fork and cast it down to the plate, before moving the basket of pecan rolls over to his side of the table, out of convenient reach of Sollux.

“Ow, fuck!” Sollux shook his abused hand and glared, before shrugging and approaching the souffle he'd neglected before. He picked up the fork and mindlessly cut into its side with the flat end of the flatware while resting his jaw on his free hand.

Shaking his head, Eridan turned back to his meal, choosing to willfully ignore Sollux's elbow on the table. Or, well, trying to. "Who taught you manners, anyway?" he grumbled, more under his breath than anything else.

Sollux snorted with a grin, "ED, manners can't matter _that_ much to you. It's not like I'm sitting on the floor squawking in a cockney accent about the dingoes or the coal babies."

Eridan set his fork down and cradled his face in his palm. "Christ, you're goin' to do that now just to spite me, aren't you? I swear to God, you pull that shit, an' I'm callin' in an exorcist on your ass."

Sollux was halfway through his souffle, having eaten it in a similar manner as his pecan roll only with a fork involved in the elaborate mechanism that was Sollux's feeding habits, "I'm rude, not malicious-" He thought on that a moment before recanting, "I'm not completely merciless. I won't embarrass you in public, sweetcheeks.""

"Like you ain't been doin' so...I'm guessin' you ain't been through an exorcism, though, seein' as you don' seem too phased by the threat." He prodded his souflee with his fork, his appetite waning for the moment.

Sollux's expression dropped, eyes widening slightly as he looked back at Eridan, "What- really? You-?"

"There's reasons I’m a recoverin' Catholic." Eridan sighed and leaned back, draping his arm over the seat next to him and gesturing vaguely, "Was an altar boy when I was just a fry, in fact. Catholic school up through sixth grade, knew my rites, all a that...high school, I fell out a it somewhat, but seein' as most a my siblin's done much the same at that age, that wasn' exactly out a the norm an' my Mam didn' care too much. Me an' one a my sisters was visitin' Mam's sister the summer a tenth grade, though, an' the aforementioned auntie--craziest, snoopin'est, most zealous an’ vindictive bitch ever did set foot on God's Green--got ahold a one a my letters from Fef an' found out about me dressin'. So she got it in her head that she'd set to savin' my soul an' called in a priest, an' Sol, some a that shit goes agin' the fuckin' Geneva Conventions, I tell you. I ain't stepped foot in the house a God nor Aunt Clarice since."

Sollux sat silently, only blinking, expression mostly unchanged before quietly responding in his usual tone, "No squawking it is then."

Eridan gave a short snort and a nod of understanding, and contemplated his coffee quietly for a moment. 

Sollux allowed a grin to grow across his face, "Does she have fucked up speech too?"

Eridan gave him a look that could kill over his thick black frames. "Really. I pour out my pain an' the anguish a my speckled past, tales a abuse an' loss a faith the like a which'd break a man, an' that's all you can fuckin' say?"

Sollux replied with a question of his own, "Does your lack of faith make you wake up at night in a cold sweat?"

"Not as such, exactly," Eridan shrugged, no less annoyed.

"Do you regret who you are?" Sollux asked.

"Only in as much as I'm related to that batshit biddy," eridan replied, idly inspecting his nails. "Not a whole lot about me what ain't pretty fuckin' ace, elsewise. You tryin' to make a point here, Sol?"

"That religion is generally shitty if you do it the wrong way, so don't even bother with it unless it's really that important to you. You probably would've grown out of the Catholic fairy tale at some point anyway."

"You," Eridan began, taking up his fork and stabbing towards Sollux in accusation, before stabbing a pecan roll, taking it to his plate, cutting it, "Have not one fuckin' ounce a empathy in your hollow, soulless husk."

"Looking at things pragmatically doesn't mean I don't have any empathy." Sollux glared before letting his gaze fall back to his plate. _I wouldn't be trying to make you laugh if I wasn't,_ he thought bitterly.

Eridan only answered with a derisive snort through a mouthful of pecans and cinnamon. A quiet moment passed as the two ate, the silence only broken when Eridan gestured to Sollux's plate, "Pretty good, though, eh? You don' find victuals like this just anywhere."

"Victawhat?"

"Victuals. Vittles. Sustenance. Nourishment. I know you eat less chow than the average fieldmouse, but come _on_ Sol, you got to at least know the words for 'food'."

"Yes, I know words we use here in the USA that come from modern shitfucking vernacular, not whatever crazy larping nerd bullshit you like to blab out to sound _sooo_ worldly." Sollux gestured with his fork, eyebrows arching and descending appropriately in his retort.

Eridan finished his meal and wiped his mouth with his napkin, before pushing his glasses higher up on his nose with his middle finger, "Just for that, I'm jizzin' in your eye tonight."

Sollux leaned forward and hissed, "Fat chance, I'm gonna nail you so hard you get pregnant, princess Ariel."

Eridan sneered as he pulled out his credit card for the tab, "Did you always have this much spunk in you, Sol, or is it just 'cause I keep leavin' gobs a it in your mouth?"

"Wow, congratulations, you're officially too disgusting to even retort to. I bet you mom’s proud. I’m out of here." Sollux pushed himself up from his seat and stood by the door impatiently.

After paying, Eridan met up with him. "Wow, an' that's Captor gratitude for you, bitin' back when I'm payin' your meal. Here," he said, thrusting a bag of leftover pecan rolls into Sollux's hands. "Enjoy, you fuckin' ingrate."

"Thanks, I'm sure this'll be just enough to get the taste of your spunk out of my mouth, and I'm eating them WITH NO FORKS." Sollux retorted with a wide grin.

"Shove 'em so far up your arse you belch pecans for all I fuckin' care, so long as you don't do that shit in polite company," Eridan shrugged, stalking off towards the bus stop.

Sollux followed after Eridan, standing beside him close enough to bump his side if he felt like. He turned his head slightly, still with that toothy grin, "And I'll have you to thank for your generosity. By the way, how's that hangover treating you?" 

"Better'n it was," Eridan sighed, "Still lingerin' though. An' you're welcome, though, promise me if you do end up with pecan rolls in your bum, you'll never breathe a word a it to me."

"Just for shoving that image to the forefront of my brain I'll be sure to email you the colonoscopy proofs that I'll scrimp and save for just for the pleasure of hearing your reaction." 

The bus then mercifully rolled to a stop before the two students.

Eridan shook his head, muttering under his breath as he paid both their fare, "...Right in your goddamn eye."

==>

A few hours later, Sollux sat at a table on the balcony overlooking the cafeteria, his attention focused on his laptop as he waited for Aradia. 

Shortly after one, the strong scent of marigolds and cinnamon surrounded him, just as arms draped over his shoulders and breasts and belly pressed against his back and head. 

"Hey Sollux! Were you waiting long?" Aradia smiled down at him through long red false eyelashes, her hair braided thickly with marigolds and her dress all black.

Sollux grinned with a snort, "It's just fucking Christmas up in here for you isn't it?"

"Different holiday. Happy Dia de los Muertos!" She gave him a quick hug before sitting down opposite him, peering over the ridge of his laptop screen. "How was class?"

"Didn't go, Was up all night finishing a project and couldn't even move this morning," he shrugged, not exactly lying.

Aradia pouted, "Aw...if I had known you were skipping, I'd have called you to come to the cemetery with me. We could've had a picnic! They have some lovely graves around here!"

"I didn't really plan on it, besides, ED kidnapped me and decided we needed to go to some fucking girly-ass cafe in town and bitched about my table manners. Well pardon fucking me if his stupid spoiled little rich girl mannerisms don't rub off on me like osmosis because we share the same tap water." Sollux rattled off, growling at his computer screen as he typed.

"Mmm. Which cafe? Was it worth checking out?"

"Some pink and purple place up in the main stretch of town, lots of flowers." Sollux made a spastic hand gesture towards her hair topiary. “You’d like it, though. I’ll take you sometime.”

"Neat." Aradia pulled a marigold from her hair and leaned over the table to tuck it behind Sollux's ear, half-shutting his screen on the way. "Still wish you'd have come. The graves were pretty but it's more fun with someone with me."

Sollux raised an eyebrow and removed the flower, looking down at it in his hands and fiddling with its leaves, "If you're heading back later I'll join you. You know how I love a good graveyard."

"No, I have class later..." She sighed and rested her chin on her folded arms on the table. "Tavros offered to visit, but that was before he found out he had to work, Nepeta was busy, something about one of her friends telling her about a costume game...and Equius, I think he was creeped out? I don't understand what the big deal is; graveyards are great! They're where you go when the worst is over!"

Sollux tossed the flower back at her in a graceful arch that hit her in the cheek, "I guess not a lot of people see it that way."

"Guess not..." She sat up and picked up the flower, pondering it for a moment, before feeling for a place to put it back in her hair. Finding no free space, she slipped the stem into her cleavage. "Wait...ED? Isn't that your bathroom guy?"

"Yep. He was hungover and wanted eggs and demanded I come with, hence why I went to princess lil's cupcake palace and got bitched out over how I eat."

"I thought he hated you? Or you hated him? Why are you spending time with him?"

"Huh?" He had to actually think about that for a moment before he shook his head, "He whines when I don't spend time with him, I mean ok, he's not as awful as I thought he was and oh yeah, I was definitely right about him being a cross-dresser, just FYI. He seems to think I need a fairy godmother but I already have you for that, yet he _still_ goes around scratching at my door insisting I need to get out and do things like get sunlight. What is he, my mom?"

"Have you tried just telling him no?" Aradia asked, looking confused.

"Welll..." _No._ "Yeah, but then it's all lecture lecture lecture whine at me," he complained, not meeting her eyes as he twirled his wrist in the air.

Aradia knew that look; he was being evasive. Things started to fall into place in her mind, and a little smile tugged at her wine-red lips. "Do you want him to stop?"

Sollux froze again, "I mean, letting _me_ have an opinion would be nice!"

"Rabid wolves couldn't stop you from voicing your opinions, Sollux. Do you want him to stop, or do you just like having a..." Aradia searched for the right word. If her hunch was right, she wouldn't want to scare him out of talking to her, "...an argument partner?"

Seemingly oblivious to the prodding, he continued, " Could be worse, I guess. He just turns into _such_ a fucking priss over everything and he's never right either. He'll just bitch about shit and then expect that he's right just because he has the most to nitpick about. Ugh… _And_ he wanted to drive hungover too."

"Sounds like you have quite a relationship with him," she grinned, rubbing a fallen marigold petal between her thumb and forefinger.

His blood froze briefly before he glared, "Relationship my ass! It's a parasitic coexistence of him feeding on my patience and wi-fi, and what the hell is just so interesting about it anyway??"

"No, no! I mean, you have someone you can argue with!" she backpedaled, hands up in surrender. Clearly he wasn't ready to talk about any feelings she was sensing from him about his suitemate. "I'm just curious…be…cause...I'm looking for a photographer!” _Good thinking, girl._ “This ED guy takes photos, right? I was thinking of getting a portrait done, Equius's birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and I wasn't sure just baking him a cake would be enough, so maybe he'd like a photo of me in a nice frame?" She fidgeted nervously with the flower in her blouse, hoping this spontaneous excuse seemed plausible and that she wasn't just digging herself in deeper. "Or is that too narcissistic?"

Sollux nodded, looking relieved, and even afforded her a little smile, "That sounds just kawaii as fuck AA. You sure want him to do it though? Can't you just ask NP?"

"I was looking for something more professional, and she really only takes digital photos, you know? I don't know if there's a difference, but I'd like to have a few sizes, maybe a wallet-sized one he can keep with him..." she said, wiggling a little in her seat. "Do you know what he charges?"

He shrugged, "I dunno, either you can go to my dorm and wait for him to get back to his or I'll just give you FF's number so she can get to him or something"

"You don't have his? Well, give me hers and I'll call her!"

Sollux opened his phone and slid it over to her, "Go nuts."

She peered through his contact list, pulling out her own phone as she noticed a single name under the E list. "Eridan? Is that him?"

Sollux gave a quick nod—utterly failing to notice that he had himself never told her his suitemate’s full name--while he typed on his computer; just a quick, but important email correspondence.

Aradia snickered as she saved Eridan's number into her contacts and looked over at Sollux, "Actually, you seem kind of busy, I'll go call him now. Or...is he in class? Should I text instead?" Sollux grunted noncommittally, and she stood and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck with your whatevers, and Happy Mortality Reminders Day." She turned on her heal and wandered off in a vaguely class-wards direction, texting Eridan as she went, quietly certain that there were reasons for Sollux to have kept the number of someone he could literally talk to daily in person. 

==>  
That evening, Aradia had a little while to relax before Nepeta would return from class. She sat on the bed and pulled out her laptop, and signed on, smiling as she spied an old familiar name requesting her attention.

_aRADIA, hEY, hOW’S IT GOING, iF THIS IS AN OKAY TIME, tO TALK,_

_0f c0urse it is tavr0s_  
 _happy dia de l0s muert0s!_  
 _h0w are y0u?_

_aND TO YOU }:)_  
 _i’M DOING, pRETTY WELL, tHANKS, aLTHOUGH, i WISH THAT WE COULD TOUR, iN WARM CLIMATES, dURING THE WINTER THIS YEAR, wHAT WITH THE PINS, aND ALL,_  
 _aLTHOUGH, i DON’T KNOW IF, wE WILL EVER BE THAT POPULAR,_

_the pins are bugging y0u already?_

_nOT YET, bUT i’M PRETTY SURE THEY WILL,_

Tavros Nitram, Aradia’s oldest friend (next to Sollux) and very probably the sweetest and kindest guy ever, had been in a car accident when he was thirteen. After various surgeries and considerable physical therapy, he could walk and dance and run, but the stabilizing pins in his shin and the artificial hip always ached during cold weather, particularly just before it would snow. Every winter brought him months of pain and long daily soaks in hot baths.

In the winter after the accident, both extended families pooled money together to buy a hot tub so that Tavros and Aradia could play together in their swimsuits; even after finding a sympathetic insurance adjuster to mark it as a medically necessary purchase and therefore partially covered, it had nearly broken both sets of parents for a while, but nobody minded too much at the time.

Well, not counting how Tavros’s mother would tease Aradia about all the long black hairs she found around the tub. _Dry them out and weave them into a hair net,_ she’d joke; it was a welcome thing to everyone involved the day Aradia discovered the power of banana clips.

Aradia, for her part, would deny all allegations that she had any part in what doctors considered “unfathomable progress” in Tavros’s recovery.

Tavros, for his part, would fight her on this. 

_i WISH THAT, wE COULD BE IN FLORIDA, dURING HONEYBELL SEASON,  
bECAUSE, rEALLY, fLORIDA IN jANUARY IS NICE,_

_arent y0u a little y0ung t0 be a fl0rida retiree?_

_}:P_  
 _bUT, iT IS POSSIBLE, mAYBE, tHAT i WILL BE VISITING lITTA AND uNCLE rUFUS FOR nEW yEARS, iN mIAMI,_  
 _sO, tHERE IS THAT,_

_s0 I w0nt see y0u 0ver break?_

_nO, nO, i’LL ONLY BE GONE A WEEK,_  
 _sO i WILL STILL SEE YOU, aND sOLLUX, wHEN YOU GUYS COME BACK,_  
 _bUT, tHE REASON WHY, uH, i INITIALLY MESSAGED, iS TO LET YOU KNOW, nEPETA SENT ME THE PICTURES, fROM YOUR PARTY LAST NIGHT, aND, yOU BOTH LOOK, rEALLY FANTASTIC,_  
 _aND, iT'S SO CUTE HOW YOU TWO, cOORDINATED YOUR COSTUMES,_  
 _i TOLD nEPETA, tHAT SHE LOOKED JUST LIKE tINKERBELL, eXCEPT BLACK, aND NOT BLOND,_  
 _bUT, bEING A RED FAIRY, sUITS YOU REALLY WELL, aND, yOU LOOKED REALLY GOOD,_

_thank y0u tavr0s!_  
 _we had a l0t 0f fun dressing up t0gether_

_aND, uH, i GUESS THAT GUY, iS, wELL, tHE GUY?  
bY WHICH i MEAN TO SAY, tHE GUY IN THE PHOTO DRESSED AS zORRO, iS THE eQUIUS GUY, tHAT i HAVE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT?_

_yes that is him!_

_hOW IS THAT GOING, iF YOU DON'T MIND, mY ASKING,_

_0hhh_  
 _where d0 I even start?_  
 _things are g0ing really great_  
 _he is a little bit 0f a jerk in s0me ways but hes als0 very sweet in 0thers_  
 _m0stly sweet_  
 _fun t0 sm00ch_  
 _0u0_  
 _we have been spending a l0t 0f time t0gether_

_yEAH, nEPETA MENTIONED THAT, sHE HAS BEEN SEEING LESS OF HIM, lATELY, wHILE WE WERE ROLEPLAYING, sO, i HAVE OPTED TO ASSUME, tHAT THAT MEANS THAT THINGS ARE GOING WELL,_  
 _bECAUSE SHE PROBABLY, wOULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT, iNSTEAD, rATHER THAN MENTIONING THE LACK OF, wHAT DID SHE CALL HIM?_  
 _“eQUIKITTY,” i THINK SHE SAID?_

_yes she likes t0 call him that s0metimes  
y0u kn0w h0w she is_

_mAYBE IF THINGS GO WELL, aND YOU INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR PARENTS, i WILL MEET HIM, tHEN,  
bECAUSE, iF HE IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU, tHEN, i WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW HIM,_

_i d0nt kn0w if y0u w0uld get al0ng with him 0r n0t_  
 _i mean i think y0u w0uld because I cant imagine y0u n0t getting al0ng with any0ne but he can be really intimidating a l0t 0f the time  
i d0nt think he even realizes he is d0ing it_

_hEY, aS LONG AS YOU’RE HAPPY, wITH HIM, aND, iT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE, sO FAR, tHEN, tHAT’S WHAT MATTERS, tO ME,_  
 _aLTHOUGH, iF HE EVER DOES HURT YOU, oR DISRESPECT YOU, hE WILL HAVE ME, aND ALSO sOLLUX, tO DEAL WITH,_  
aND, i WILL HAVE WORDS WITH HIM, vOICING MY OPINIONS ON THE MATTER, iN A DIRECT MANNER, iN HOPES THAT HE WILL TREAT YOU WITH THE RESPECT AND CONSIDERATION _YOU DESERVE,_  
 _wHEREAS sOLLUX WILL, mOST LIKELY, pUNCTURE HIS TIRES,_

_my her0es!_  
 _but i d0nt see it being an issue  
we just have t0 see h0w it g0es!_

Aradia paused, then, smiling as she thought of Equius. Those gentle smiles that seemed to be saved and stockpiled and given only to her, the catch in his throat when he fumbled his words in a flustered fit, the way he often didn’t know what to do with his hands and how he tensed up sometimes, like she was too precious to scare off. Like she mattered to him. Sometimes, like she was the only one who really mattered. 

She thought of how his jaw would set and he would fall silent, reasonably often, as if he were fighting himself, as if he were struggling to keep himself reined in.

For her sake, Equius had been keeping himself contained, but Aradia knew his passions ran deep. She could observe well enough; she had learned the twitch at the corner of his mouth when he wanted to kiss her. When his sunglasses were set aside, she could see the way he looked at her, eyes lingering on her figure, her neck, and her lips, and how he would gaze into her eyes so intimately. She had seen the fresh sweat glisten on his brow when she pulled him for a surprise kiss, the little grunt he had made the last time she let her hand brush across his rump…For her sake, he had kept himself on a leash, she supposed. Never had she asked, maybe this was even just his way, but she felt touched by it all the same.

Aradia could not help but wonder, what would he be like, then, when he figured out that she was no timid rabbit, so easily scared? How would he look at her when he realized she would not break so easily?

What would Equius do, how would he sound, what would he say when he finally let go of the reins and let himself run wild?

She shivered, an all-too familiar flush in her cheeks, and resumed typing:

_alth0ugh between y0u and me_  
 _if we are being c0mpletely h0nest here  
i think i may be falling in l0ve_


	14. >Aradia: Fuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Aradia seduces Equius and tames the beast.
> 
> ((Smut ahead))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epithimia: I wanted to make sure we got this up because I'm going to Florida for a week in order to get away from the freezing hell that is NJ.

Aradia steadied herself, hands against the cool porcelain of the bathroom sink. She watched herself in the mirror and suppressed the urge to reapply her lipstick in her nervous state.

She looked fine.

She was fine!

_Really._

She worried at her lip, watching herself. Maybe she should re-do her eyeshadow, or maybe—

 _No, Aradia,_ she thought, _You’re fine._

She leaned back, sighing and steadying herself, and went through a mental checklist.

She was standing in the bathroom of the guy who she was fairly certain she was head over heels in love with. She was a virgin, but she’d taken the last couple weeks to, _ahem,_ introduce a stretching regimen of sorts into her routine. She looked fine, she felt fine, and she had even limbered up before he took her to the museum that afternoon, much to Nepeta’s amusement.

 _You’re as ready as you’re going to be,_ she told her reflection. 

Her reflection looked rather unconvinced.

_It’s normal to be scared!_

The reflection seemed no more reassured.

_You’re going to have a LOT of fun._

At this, Aradia smiled. She _was,_ wasn’t she? This was a big thing, pun probably not intended, but she had been looking forward to it…and she was ready. She wanted to make love, she wanted to give her virginity to Equius, and she wanted it tonight.

Aradia flipped her hair over her shoulder, left her purse on the towel hook, and slipped quietly from the bathroom.

As seemingly clueless as ever, Equius sat in his bedroom, assembling a slam poem on his laptop. His expression was firm and intense, not giving heed to the words he needed but the emotions that were boiling up inside him.

Barefoot, Aradia snuck up on him, her shoes and coat safely in the living room. She laced her arms over his shoulders, taking a moment once again to admire his shoulders, his back, his hair. She swept his hair aside and kissed the back of his neck, "Equius?"

"This verse is vexing me. I can't find the proper words." He stated flatly, eyes behind dark sunglasses still focused upon the screen before he ground his teeth. 

She slipped his shades off and kissed his temple. "You'll get it. Later. I'm going to distract you now." She snapped his shades closed with one hand and set them on the desk, making sure her breasts would brush against the back of his head as she did.

He turned his head slightly, his gaze sharp before softening upon the sight of her, "Distract me in a lewd way, I imagine?" His hands slid around her waist, his tone more teasing than serious.

"Oh, I certainly hope so," she purred with mischief in her voice as she placed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips. She tapped the back of the chair, "I can't fit in this chair with you. Join me on the bed?" she asked, remembering the one time she had tried. It had ended badly with bruised backside for her and a flood of sweaty stammers from him.

With that embarrassing memory in his own mind as well, along with a certain hopeful anticipation of something better, Equius rose from the seat. He then singlehandedly lifted her with one arm and threw her over his shoulder to make the short journey, making her squeal.

"Equius!!" Aradia laughed, her long skirts bunching around her knees as she kicked her legs in a token effort to squirm free. With his warm hand on her rear holding her steady, she knew she couldn't break free unless she asked it; not that she had long to wait, of course. A few paces and she was set lightly upon the bed. Aradia grabbed Equius's collar and pulled his lips to hers.

He groaned softly in his throat, cradling the back of her head. He flicked his tongue against her lower lip and traced its shape slowly as he squeezed her hip. The flicks turned into warm, sensual rubs as he closed the distance between their lips. 

He drank in her kiss slowly, relishing its pleasurable feel. He kept his hand on her hip, although his fingers twitched in his desire to explore her body.

Aradia ran her fingers through his hair and savored his lips, thin but soft. She laid back slowly, keeping her lips locked with his, guiding him to lay with her on the bed. 

He lifted his head, exhaling against her lips as he sat up partway. His heart thudded from his nerves as he allowed himself a long look at her form. She looked so very delicate.

Aradia propped herself up on one elbow and pressed close to kiss his neck just above his collar. She moved back again, biting her rust-red lip as she slipped her fingers into the collar of his sweater, "Can we lose this? I'd hate to get lipstick on it."

He removed the feather soft, firmly woven sweater with his large, impatient hands, leaving the expensive cashmere garment on the floor as he dove in to devour her mouth once more.

Aradia pulled Equius with her, her hand cradling his damp nape, keeping their lips locked together as she laid back on the bed. She let her hands run over his chest, that burning-hot skin she had never before seen or touched. She drew her lips away only to hungrily kiss his neck without reserve.

Equius groaned lowly, oh, he liked that spot... His hands pressed roughly on her shoulders, roaming down her back before settling on her ass and squeezing tightly.

"Ow! Not quite so hard!" She winced, digging her fingers into his pectorals just a little.

Equius immediately relinquished his grip, sitting back upright. He began mumbling distractedly with a mortified expression, "Right, your delicate frame is not impervious to my strength, I apologize."

She sighed and snickered, running her hands down his sides, sparing one to squeeze his butt in retaliation. "Fair's fair, lover boy, and I didn’t say to stop," she purred in his ear and playfully nipped his earlobe. 

Equius shook briefly, sensitive nerves aflame as he pressed her body against his once more. The soft pressure of her breasts on his chest made his cock harden further, its own pressure able to be felt against her soft stomach. "Aradia..." He moaned, a subtle roll of his hips following.

"Mmm?" Aradia climbed into his lap, blowing away a strand of hair that fell into her face. "Have I mentioned lately," she began, a sultry tone to her voice as she ghosted her fingers over his chest, "how much I adore you and your strong, handsome body?"

He... most likely needed a towel. No, he _definitely_ needed one. A rag, a sheet, anything! That sweater, blasted expensive though it might have been, would have sufficed if not for the fact he could not bring himself to pull away from her. Was the beautiful little woman was trying to dominate him? Was she aware of what she was doing to him? 

_“…Aradia?”_

"In fact, there's a lot about you I adore," she continued, running her fingers down his arms. She took his arms and guided them back around her waist, "You're strong, you're a gentleman, you're handsome...your smiles, your eyes, your laugh, your noble demeanor and even your stuffy poetry." She looked him in the eye, rocking her hips on the firming lump in his lap, "I trust you, Equius, and in case there was any lingering doubt, I want to spend the night." 

His jaw dropped slightly before he looked her up and down briefly in a mild panic, she wanted to make love to him. He wanted to take her. So many flurrying thoughts raced through him, but they all culminated in his body pressing tightly back into hers. Shamelessly he rutted his firmness against her, heat flushing through him even more. 

"I'll just take that as a yes-you-can-stay-tonight." She smiled coquettishly as she rocked back in response, "You're shirtless and I'm not. Hardly seems fair..." Her lips brushed against his as she began to peel away her black top, revealing her soft, round breasts bound in red lace. 

His hands eagerly rubbed against her soft body, shaking just the slightest bit as they blindly slid upward. He felt the soft material of her bra and found himself smirking the slightest bit. He was elated beyond all belief that she was letting him under her clothes; that she was pleasuring herself with him. He slid his hands around her breasts and squeezed generously, molding his hands around the shape. 

Her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed softly, arching into his touch. Warm hands, strong hands, trusted hands...she almost couldn't wait to tear off her bra, to feel those calloused fingertips directly on her skin, but she stayed herself. 

_If he can restrain himself this long, I can too,_ she thought, before another notion occurred to her. 

_Why the fuck would I_ want _to wait?_

She made a show of sliding her arms from her bra-straps and arched her back as she unhooked the closure in back. Equius's hands were the only thing keeping the lace on her body, and she slipped her arms over his broad shoulders, giving him a look that almost screamed, _Your move._

__With that incentive he threw the bra to the floor and pushed her down to the bed. He was unable to feign any sort of smoothness in that situation; his eyes narrowed as he settled his thighs atop hers. He began to stroke and rub her breasts in his hands, able to use his fingers now to pinch and pull at her nipples lightly. He enjoyed watching the color flow into them as he teased her so. His gaze switched back and forth between her face and her enticing breasts._ _

__Looking down at him with lusty eyes and flushed cheeks, Aradia breathed his name. "Equius, don't stop..." Her fingers tangled in his hair, sweat-damp and black as an oil slick, as she tugged his head subconsciously towards her breast._ _

__He closed his eyes for a brief moment, trying to extract more sounds from the girl. He crawled up further, his chest pressing against the bottom of her stomach as he squeezed her breasts this time, not her nipples, teasing her as he rubbed his mouth against the roundness of the flesh._ _

__Such a wonderful way to be trapped, weighed under her heavy lover, though Aradia had no wish to break free. She groaned, kneading and pawing at his shoulders and neck, squirming beneath him and sighing in pleasure. She could feel herself dampen, and any vestiges of hesitation or fear fell away._ _

__He let his mouth rub up higher until his lips were over the nipple. He slid his tongue over the sensitive bud, over and over until he latched his lips around it and sucked. One hand continued to squeeze and rub around her breast, teasing her with the absence of touching her nipple._ _

__His lips, his tongue, his heat, his saltwater-and-copper scent...despite all the times Aradia had pleasured herself thinking of him, these were things her mind and hands could not truly replace. One hand combed through his hair, grazing his ear, and she whimpered softly._ _

__Equius let his mouth tease her other nipple in a similar fashion, sucking it greedily as his free hand teased the other one. He then lifted his head and grinned wolfishly into her face once more, "Such a wanton little maid, aren't you?"_ _

__Aradia grinned at him with needy eyes, her voice molasses-thick, " _Your_ little maid, and somehow I don't think you mind if I'm a little wanton." She cupped his cheek, letting her thumb graze over his sharp cheekbone, "Mind if I get on top? It looks fun."_ _

__He arranged himself on his back, tugging her on top of him; their hips meeting intimately. Equius then choked on his breath as his swollen cock was given such sweet friction upon it, unable to speak._ _

__Her skirt hiked up to allow her to straddle his hips. She leaned down and, after a quick peck on the lips, she began to kiss his jaw, then just below his ear, and his neck, before tonguing his earlobe slightly, seeking out places to tease and please._ _

__He tried to stay in control as she kissed him all over. He arched his neck and turned his ear slightly toward her, "Kiss my ears, I like that very much..."_ _

__“Hmmm?" she hummed, as she gently sucked on his earlobe and itched it with her teeth. She let her fingers trace the muscles of his chest and shoulders, and she ran her tongue along the shell of his ear and nipped it oh-so-lightly._ _

__"Aradia.... hmmmmmm.... I've....oh don't stop..." He inhaled through his teeth, unable to properly articulate his thoughts._ _

__Aradia felt another shiver, delighting in the pleasure she was bringing him, having her big hunk of power and strength squirming under her. She redoubled her efforts, trapping the apex of his ear with her lips and tugging lightly, then licking round the rim again, as clever fingers teased and toyed and traced along his other ear. Leaning over him as she did, her breasts were pressed right against his warm, toned, beautiful chest, and the hem of her skirt lay over his belly._ _

__He swelled in his pants, hips rocking shallowly as he struggled to keep himself level, "A-Aradia... Let me free myself."_ _

__"God yes," she groaned, climbing off of him to wrangle herself out of skirt and panties alike. She had planned to take longer when she chose her red lingerie, maybe a little teasing show, but honestly? That plan was chucked well out the window and good riddance._ _

__Now nude before him, Aradia made no attempt to cover herself, though her cheeks and chest were flushed, and watched her partner._ _

__Speechlessly, he quickly fumbled with the button and zipper to his pants as he stared at her reclining form. His hair hung in his face and puffed up slightly as he breathed. When his bulge was less restricted by his zipper, he admired her once more. In a word, he was massive. His exposed cock reached at least half an inch past his navel and had a decent girth to him. He grew somewhat embarrassed at the sight of her staring at him and distracted himself by pulling his pants and underwear the rest of the way off, trying not to stare at her bare form but unable to help himself._ _

__As he sat back, Aradia knelt by him, looking over his shoulder and gesturing to his wood, "Um, mind if I...feel it? I've never seen one in person like this, and I'm curious..."_ _

__"Please!" He demanded softly, practically begging._ _

__She scooted to his side, leaning down, giving his intimidatingly large manhood a thorough looking-over as she gingerly traced her fingers along the length. "Wow..."_ _

__Equius squirmed at the pleasant touch, hips arching up gently as he spread his legs further. He was already completely erect, but he still quivered under her hand._ _

__She giggled to see the reaction she elicited from him, and traced her fingers, up the top of his shaft, around the head, down the underside, and along the seam of his pouch, curious to see what felt best, noting the different textures of the skin._ _

__He leaned his head forward and continued breathing heavily, his body physically twitching as she touched just beneath his head and the veins further down his shaft._ _

__She brought her fingers back up, her pressure more firm against him as she traced around and around the head. "Equius? I'm thinking of doing something rash."_ _

__"Are you now?" Equius grinned dizzily, pushing his hips into her touch more and more._ _

__She bit her lip, hesitantly, considering for a moment, before leaning down and placing her lips on the head in a soft, sweet kiss._ _

__The soft touch of her mouth caused him to let out a slow, pleasant moan. He bit his lip and let his head fall back, "Such a delightful exploration..."_ _

__Hearing him sent a shiver throughout her as she shifted to kneel, her soft rump raised behind her. She pulled her hair away, making sure not to block his view in case he should want to watch her. She kissed his head again, her lips parted, daring a quick dart of her tongue to taste him._ _

__He raised his head, and found he couldn't look away from the provocative sight, looking at everything from her upraised behind in such a playful position down to her mouth teasing him like that. He kept his hands on his sides, gripping his blanket as he let her work her magic._ _

__She gripped the shaft lightly at the base, unsure of how sensitive or delicate it might be (could something so big be delicate?), but figuring it was best to err on the side of caution. She ran her tongue around the rim of the head, swirling up to the tip, before teasing the slit with the point of her tongue._ _

__He forced himself to keep from thrusting his hips upward, not wanting to come across as lewd or uncouth to his lady (not quite yet anyway), he breathed out with another long groan, "Your- your tongue..."_ _

__"Mmm?" she hummed, turning her head just enough so she could see his face, her tongue still toying with his slit. She placed another soft kiss on the tip, pausing just long enough to ask, "Yes, Equius? Oh, you taste nice, by the way..." before swirling her tongue around the tip once more._ _

__He grinned lasciviously at the compliment, "Take all you like..." He grew quite, quite sensitive as she continued teasing him, "G-go lower..."_ _

__She grinned back, his expression only fueling her fire, thankful that she had taken the time to research male anatomy and ways to please it. She licked her lips and took the head of him into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it; the hand at the base of his member began to shift a little, up and down._ _

__"Nnngh, that feels so good..." He shook under her hand, tensing and throbbing as she rubbed him. He slid the tips of his fingers through her hair and watched her face and her mouth as she took him in._ _

__She bobbed her head, inching a little more of him into her mouth, tasting his skin and a little bit of his natural fluid, finding his flavors alien but pleasant, and hummed her  
approval._ _

__“Such a good girl... you like it..." His voice is very low, more to himself than to her, he still grinned lustfully at how good this felt._ _

__She giggled against him, sliding a little more of him into her mouth, fraction of an inch by fraction of an inch, her hand lightly pumping his shaft from the base. Although she was still very nervous, she was encouraged to hear his approval and his desire._ _

__"Hmmmm, I want to taste you... please..."_ _

__"Mmmm?" she hummed, gradually pulling from him, before placing a sweet peck on the inside of his thigh. "I suppose fair is fair, but..." she paused, adding shyly, "...I...might be a little self-conscious...sorry...but I think I'd like that."_ _

__"Come here, my darling..." He gestured with his fingers, beckoning with a little more bravado and lust than before._ _

__She straightened, her knees under her, and scooted closer to him, taking his hand and softly kissing his palm. "Sweet Equius, how could I say no?"_ _

__He stroked her face and leaned over her, prompting her to lay back. He stared down into her eyes for a moment before sliding lower, parting her thighs in his hands and kissing the inside of her right thigh. He opened his eyes once again and sank lower._ _

__She squirmed under him, excited, pulling a pillow behind her head to watch him, as she laced her fingers through his hair. She was decidedly wet and willing, and eager to see what that tongue, that had been so delightful against her neck and her nipples, could do._ _

__He took his first look at her sex, wet and open, eager from his earlier ministrations. Without hesitation he dipped his tongue between her lips and let it slide further up and up before withdrawing. He let out a soft breath and relaxed his tongue, he repeated the same gesture, only his tongue was softer as it teased around the crest of her sex._ _

__Aradia gasped, first out of surprise, then out of desire, as her fingers gripped his hair. She squirmed, her thighs parting a little more of their own volition._ _

__He held her thighs apart in his hands as his dexterous tongue teased at her clit, loving those reactions he had pulled from her. He gave a low groan into her pussy, still breathing hotly against her as he played her._ _

__She moaned out, loudly, arching her back, pressing closer to him, one thigh coming around and resting over his shoulder. "Oooh Equius! That! Do that!"_ _

__He did as she requested, moaning unconsciously at the pleasure of being commanded by her. He rapidly flicked his tongue over the spot, no longer content to merely tease. He then parted her with his fingers and took her clit between his lips, giving it a light suckle._ _

__She squealed, high and light, at the suction, all of these new sensations rich and decadent and, oh, she wanted so much more! "Equius...oh, EQUIUS....please, w-would you--AH!"_ _

__His tongue traveled down lower, languidly dipping through the wetness of her entrance, tasting the combined fluid of his saliva and her natural juices. He pushed forward and sucked there as well before licking upward again to her clit once again, a cursory tease from his tongue before another quick suck._ _

__She squirmed, both hands in his hair, caressing madly, "Equius...ahhh...please...I, if it's alright, could I...make a request?"_ _

__He lifted his mouth, panting hotly against her thigh as his dark eyes connected with hers, "Anything."_ _

__She shivered to look at him; from her view, his handsome face and secret eyes were framed by her own bare breasts and the soft curve of her belly. "I...I want you, but...well, you're bigger than my own fingers, to say the least! And that's all I have experience with...I think I may need some more stretching out...and your fingers..." she took his hand in hers, "are bigger than mine..."_ _

__At the implication that she wanted his bulge inside her, he felt a fresh rush of blood through his cock. He smiled wickedly, letting the fingers of his right hand grip her right thigh in her line of sight, "You are requesting I prepare you with my hands."_ _

__She nodded, her face flushed, not shy exactly but still a little embarrassed, "I--yes. Yes, I am. Is that okay?"_ _

__Just as she had gotten the words out, he looked down, his cheek pressing against her left thigh as the middle finger of his right hand teased the same path his tongue had before, tracing over her clit before pushing forward into her entrance._ _

__She gasped again, the sensation being almost nothing like her own fingers; they were big, and they were strong, and they were more forceful and less precise, though that was delicious in its own way, but chiefly, they were HIS._ _

__He pumped his finger in and out of her at a somewhat slow pace, twisting gently. He licked his lips and breathed against her thigh as his eyes still stayed on her face, watching her reactions._ _

__She squirmed, gradually relaxing around him, beginning to shift her hips to rock against his hand, as she purred his name, quietly._ _

__His grin only grew as she gave into the pleasure from his fingers. He added a second finger, pushing deeper than before, curving upward and stroking._ _

__She winced at the second digit, slowly relaxing, as she bit her lip, "Nnngh..."_ _

__She cupped her breasts with her hands, kneading them softly as Equius continued his happy work, and she kept her gaze upon him._ _

__His eyes widened, then darkened further at the sight of her touching herself like that, "Do you what you need to, my dear. I want to please you so much."_ _

__He continued to tease her from the inside, pushing deeply with his fingers and gradually going faster._ _

__"You're doing great, I promise you that! Ooh..." she purred, rolling her hips to him, feeling almost as if her control over herself was slipping away._ _

__"That's right, let go..." He spoke lecherously against her flesh again, stretching his fingers apart just barely, she was so tight and hot inside. He ducked his head down and laved his tongue over her clit once again strictly for her pleasure._ _

__She bucked and keened as his tongue crossed her pearl, the twin sensations of his thick fingers deep in her and her clitoris being lavished upon being almost too much for her. "AHH! Oh Equius, do that MORE!"_ _

__He tried to make his fingers thrust straight, hoping dearly that he wouldn't scrape anything or hurt her, but the sounds she was making made it difficult for him to focus. He stroked and teased at her insides, sucking her clit lightly once again, salivating from the sensation and feeling it drip further down onto his fingers._ _

__She began to tighten around his fingers, as she ground her hips down on him, crying out, "Equius, almost--go faster! I'm nearly--Ahh--EQUIUSSS AHHH!"_ _

__He circled his tongue rapidly around her clit before sucking harder than before, loving that feeling of her positively writhing with pleasure that HE was giving her. His own cock throbbed as a result and he groaned, pushing his fingers deep inside of her; spreading and scissoring them as much as he was able._ _

__She tensed up, climaxing, as she reached down to dig her fingers into his scalp, chanting his name like a holy mantra, before slowly, slowly relaxing, becoming a soft, panting thing before him, still purring his name._ _

__He continued to tongue and lick at her for a few more moments before pulling back, dropping his jaw to stretch it a bit as he looked up at her with a cocky grin. His lips were swollen and juice still shone on his chin from the pleasure he had just given her, "You are delicious."_ _

__She held out her arms for a hug, "Get over here and kiss me. I don't even care what's on your lips, just, please..."_ _

__He tugged his fingers out of her and crawled up to his lady, allowing himself to be drawn against her and kissing her deeply, tongue diving neatly into her mouth and playing with hers as his cock pressed up against her hip._ _

__She squirmed, pressing against him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him, tasting herself on his lips as she toyed with his tongue._ _

__He pulled back and panted softly against her mouth before sucking her lower lip between his. He grinned and then continued kissing her as he pressed himself against her breasts even harder, and she in turn purred and pressed to him. She rolled over on top of him, her damp thighs against his hips, and his member nestled just under her ass._ _

__He closed his eyes and arched his neck and back as he moaned at the sublime feeling. He then also took the chance to suck his fingers clean from before as he stroked Aradia's thigh._ _

__She leaned down, kissing him softly, pulling away just enough to let her lips ghost over his as she spoke."Equius...that was amazing. You are amazing. I've never felt so good, so...ooooh, I want to do that to you. I want you to feel like that...tell me what to do, and I promise you, sweetie, I am yours..." she purred, moaning the last word more than speaking it._ _

__His eyes darted up to hers and firmly, lustfully spoke, "Ride me. That is what I want, my dear."_ _

__He rubbed his cock up against her plush behind once again, his toes curling._ _

__She kissed him again and positioned herself, rubbing her wet cleft against the head of his dick, "You may have to be patient, it's...pretty big...but I think we can both enjoy this..."_ _

__He gasped at the incredible heat of her body, squeezing the blanket beneath him and his thighs tensing in an effort to not hurt her. He silently prayed for the will to stay strong, but oh god she felt exquisite._ _

__She slid down slowly, wincing a little, letting herself pause and relax now and then. A soft hum escaped her as she went, feeling a mixture of discomfort at his hugeness, and a delicious feeling, growing stronger and stronger within her. As she slowly engulfed him, his pants grew louder, "A-A-Aradia..." He shuddered and kept gripping the cloth beneath him for discipline. He opened his eyes and looked up at her once more._ _

__Gradually, she reached the hilt of him and had him completely within her. She wriggled a bit, her hands on his chest as she smiled down at him, sweat on her brow and flush in her cheeks, "Just a sec, let me adjust, okay? Ohhh, but you feel so good…"_ _

__He nodded and shut his eyes, forehead furrowed as he throbbed inside of her. His hands slid up and lightly squeezed her thighs again, enjoying the pressure of her hands on his chest. His muscles were tense and pronounced as he breathed heavily._ _

__She let her hands explore his chest, while she wriggled her hips, still getting used to him. She traced along his lines, from just below the collarbone, along the ridges of his pectorals, noting the creases of his abdominal muscles and the broad swaths of firm flesh over his ribs, down to the crests of his hip bones, or however much was not covered by her own thighs. When she felt ready, she raised herself a little, and rocked her hips, feeling him fill her again, a soft moan coming from her._ _

__Equius gently pulled Aradia forward, her hands still admiring and rubbing his chest. He rolled his hips up lightly, the newer angle less likely to hit her in any painful way. He licked his lips and scratched his short nails down her sides, holding onto her hips._ _

__She gasped, rolling her hips in response, as she licked her lips, beginning to rock on him in a slow rhythm, her fingers splayed across his collarbones as she supported herself on her forearms, her hot breath across his neck. "Nnngh Equius...God, you’re the best. The absolute best…"_ _

__"Such a vocal young lady..." He leaned up and licked at her lower lip, catching her mouth in a deep kiss as he began thrusting up into her. The heat and sensitivity of his cock was magnified by just how beautifully tight she was inside._ _

__She moaned into his kiss, her splayed fingers digging into his shoulders, rocking her hips against him as he thrust. She lightly bit his lip, just enough for him to feel her teeth._ _

__He took the chance to start sucking her tongue, making a growling little sound in his throat as he continued to move her body against him with his hands._ _

__Aradia squirmed against him, trying to keep up, but she felt almost as if she had no control of her body; she felt only pleasure and heat, heat rising from his flesh, heat within herself. She moaned again, unable to speak words, her eyes squeezed shut and her short, trimmed nails digging into his skin._ _

__He pulled back from her mouth, lifting a hand to the side of her face and watching her with heavy-lidded eyes. He grinned darkly, "Oh yes, you're enjoying this, you like what I'm doing to you?"_ _

__She turned and kissed his hand, before lapping her tongue from his wrist to between his middle and ring fingers. She dared to open an eye, smiling coquettishly at him, "Of course I do, can’t you tell? God…if there--Ahh! If there has been any doubt, then please, let me clear this up...Keep. Going. PLEASEEE."_ _

__He slipped his thumb in her mouth, rubbing her tongue with his finger before slapping her ass loudly with a grunt, "Very well then, my dear."_ _

__She made a squealing noise as he slapped her, her eyes rolling back, as she sucked on his thumb, rocking harder on him, feeling his length filling her again and again, and altogether unsure how much longer she could take before she came again._ _

__"Mmmph--that's right, little sheep..." He leaned his head back and spread his legs wider behind her, thrusting and pushing up into her faster than before, "Don't hold back!"_ _

__Aradia couldn’t have held back if she tried. She cried out, loud and lusty, shivering and tensing, climaxing a second time, tightening up around his member. She could speak no words, with his huge thumb in her mouth, but she poured her adoration and her pleasure into one high keen._ _

__He slid his hand back and fondled her breasts in both of his hands, giving a smug grin up at the beautiful, captivating girl. He squeezed her roughly as he pushed into her deeper, seeking more of her heat._ _

__She wrapped her arms around his neck, showering his face and neck with sweet kisses, as she relaxed around him, "Equius, Equius, "_ _

__"Mmmm..." Their lips met over and over, still teasing her tongue with his own, he pulled away just long enough to groan, "Where can I come?"_ _

__"Come in me, Equius…it’s okay, I’m on the pill, just…come for me, please? I want to feel it," she purred, kissing his lips once more._ _

__"Such a dirty girl..." He kissed her once again, holding her down against him as he thrust and gasped against her throat, biting down._ _

__She squealed, her nails digging into his back as she ground herself down upon him, panting, "Equius honey, for you I'll be as dirty as you like, all for you--ahhh!--Use me, just, let me make you come!"_ _

__His eyes widened for a second before shutting once more, embracing her tightly as he panted against her skin, he seemed to be shuddering all over, thrusting as fast as he could, "I-I'm...oh goodness..."_ _

__She leaned forward, dragging the point of her tongue along his earlobe, murmuring softly, "That’s it, my sweet Equius...please..."_ _

__He reached climax just after the touch of her moist tongue on his ear, he emptied himself into her just as she had instructed, his toes curling with the release of heat and pressure of it all. He fell back against the bed, panting into the air and stroking her back with his fingers._ _

__She fell with him, laying on his chest, her legs still across his hips, feeling more than satisfied as she nuzzled into his neck. "Oh, thank you, Equius...you're incredible, absolutely amazing..."_ _

__"You are positively exemplary..." His fingers ran up and down her back, his heart pounding quickly in his chest still. "Little lamb, little sheep..."_ _

__She giggled, light and tinkling, "My stallion..."_ _

__"Oh am I?" He gently pulled her up to look in his face, eyes still somewhat sharp and dark with longing, "Am I a strong warhorse?"_ _

__She smiled at him, lovingly smoothing a lock of hair from of his face. "The strongest, and the finest stud I've ever seen. My stud?"_ _

__"Always, dear Aradia." He murmured before leaning up and kissing her forehead, more satisfied and content than he had ever felt._ _

__She kissed his cheek, tasting the salt of his sweat, and smiled._ _


	15. >Aradia: Glow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia gets back to the dorm and makes plans for a photoshoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epithimia: Sorry for the delay in chapter posting, we've been crazy busy this last month. I was supposed to go to Katsucon but not having a job got in the way of that. Also I have moved in with my girlfriend and am now settled.

Around noon, Nepeta dragged her army-grade duffel bag to the hummer, trying to open the door before realizing it was locked. She hopped and knocked impatiently on the window until either Equius or Aradia; she was uncertain of which, unlocked the door. She threw her bag in first before jumping up as well.

"Why were the doors locked?" Nepeta whined.

"Such is the expectation one must have when getting into a car already ignited." Equius looked back over his shoulder.

Aradia turned in her seat, grinning at Nepeta, "Have fun staying with Terezi?" 

Nepeta nodded and pulled hand-sewn plush green dragon from her duffel and pressed it to Aradia's nose, "Beep! She's teaching me to make these! Look! Not bad for a novice, right?"

"This feels entirely too similar to retrieving a child from pre-school. Complete with obligatory art project," Equius said as he reversed the car from the parking space and began to drive, smirking quietly to himself.

Nepeta rolled her eyes and passed Aradia a cobalt blue dragon. "Bop him with this when we get to a stoplight. Oh! And here's yours!" she said, passing up a black dragon with a cranberry red belly. 

Aradia squealed and accepted both, "How cute! Talk about a productive sleepover...how many did you guys make?" 

"Just the three, but I'm gonna make one for Tavros and send it to him. Terezi gave me the pattern."

"Can you put wings on his?" Aradia asked, settling in her seat, flipping the vanity mirror so she could look at Nepeta in the back. She squished the blue dragon against Equius's shoulder as they reached a stop sign.

"Heck yeah!" Nepeta grinned, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

Equius growled and batted the plush back with his right hand and knocked it back to Nepeta by accident.

"Hey!" Aradia exclaimed, but Nepeta just laughed and passed it back up over Aradia's shoulder. Aradia kissed the dragon's blue nose and hugged both to her chest, only half-listening as Nepeta chittered on in the back seat. 

"...and I told her about the superhero party--you both are coming to that, by the way--and we worked on her hero alias and mine, and it's going to be so cool!! I mean, we have, what? Four and a half months? That's plenty of time to make some really awesome costumes for all of us!"

Equius continued to drive, having no input or apparent interest, and so Nepeta continued, settling back as she continued to chitter, "And I was thinking I would dress you both up as large stuffed dragons and make you do battle on the fields of Albion and I don’t think you are listening at all, so I am going to sit here and talk about fight club for a minute. I know you’re not supposed to talk about fight club, but I’m a rebel. And five, very important, five: don’t let me eat pears, I hate pears. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won’t know that. I’ll think I am him, and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months, I don’t want to wake up from being human and taste that. And six, I think I will probably go with a cat theme for my own costume but I might go with lions instead, what do you think?"

Equius rolled his eyes, arching a thick brow, "Nepeta, there is a difference between not listening and not having any proper input to give you on your extracurricular hobbies. Imagine if I attempted to have you extrapolate the inner workings of my laptop, do you think you would have insight upon that action?"

Aradia perked up, trying to seem like she had paid attention the whole time. 

"Oh, you were listening! Yay!" Nepeta grinned, ignoring the question. "Anyway, I thought you might be a little distracted, what with Aradia in the front seat and all." She leaned forward, putting her head between their shoulders and grinning like a jack-o-lantern, "Speaking of which, does anyone want to explain _why_ Aradia is in the truck right now?"

"As two consenting adults, we made use of my apartment while you made use of your friend's residence." Equius explained simply, tugging slightly at his collar.

Aradia cast him a giddy, satisfied glance, and Nepeta sat back, giggling madly. "That has got to be the most round-about way of putting it! Hee hee hee! Congratulations!"

"Roundabout way of what?" Equius snapped.

“Oh, only that I wasn't the ooonly one who had a slumber party!" Nepeta cooed, and Aradia turned to wink at her. Nepeta idly played with her green dragon, "Yep, nothing like sleep to make you feel relaxed! A nice, long, hard, sleep. Did you sleep well? You look like you slept really well."

Equius remained calm for the most part, simply tugging at his collar once again in a manner that he deemed subtle.

"I slept _really_ well," Aradia agreed, giving Equius a flirty little grin.

Nepeta watched Aradia's eyes in the vanity mirror and made a pleased little noise, almost a purr. "Are you going to tuck him in tonight too?"

Equius hit the brakes a little too sharply in front of their dorm, clearing his throat with a flushed face.

Aradia mused quietly, "I don't think I can tonight." She looked over to Equius, a twinkle in her eye, "Would you like a tucking-in tomorrow night?"

Without answering the question asked, Equius got out of the parked car and opened the passenger door behind him to pull out Nepeta's bag, stalling to regain his composure. He cleared his throat once more and answered her question with as much restraint as he could muster, "Perhaps. Only if you are not tardy to your Monday classes as a result." He then walked towards the door to their dorm building.

Aradia bounded out and took his free hand, leaning against him as they walked, with Nepeta trailing behind making a barely-audible squeal.

As usual, Equius was allowed without any issue into the girls' dorm, escorting them back to their room, although Nepeta complained about his having to leave his ID despite having come over so many times before.

When they reached the girls’ hallway, Nepeta bounded forward and unlocked the door, and Aradia pulled Equius down for a kiss. "Call me after class."

He returned the kiss briefly, made slightly uncomfortable with Nepeta nearby. As well as potentially several dozen girls on the floor of her dorm, any of whom might open their doors at any moment. Plus the dozens more on the other floors; potentially dozens of women who could be curious at the man in their midst! He pulled back stiffly and nodded, "I shall."

Nepeta pried her bag from his hand and dragged it into the room, and Aradia purred, "Think of me while you sleep alone tonight. I know I will be thinking of you."

The deliciously lewd thought made him grin Cheshire-wide and sweat anew from his forehead, "Good day to you, lamb."

She backed up towards her door, blowing him a kiss, before turning prettily on her heel and going inside.

Aradia leaned back against the closed bedroom door and sighed dreamily, as Nepeta sat on her bed and kicked her legs, grinning madly. When Aradia didn’t come out of her little lovey-trance, Nepeta began to sing.

“Aradia and Equius, sittin’ in a tree, consummating by missionary!”

Aradia stared dumbfounded at Nepeta before choking on her own laughter. “Nepeta!”

“Whaaaat?” the catgirl grinned, pulling her duffel onto her lap. She began to pull sewing materials out and spread them on the bed.

Aradia sat on her own bed and slipped off her coat, “You know what, and it wasn’t missionary. Anyway, ‘Eff Yew See Kay Eye Enn Gee’ scans perfectly easily.”

Nepeta shrugged as she pulled out a plastic bag of wadded-up scrap cloth. “I’m a rebel! Anyway, it’s pretty obvious that’s the same black sweater you wore yesterday.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll change,” Aradia chuckled, walking to the dresser and pulling out some fresh clothes. “Obvious, huh?”

“Wellll,” Nepeta started, spreading out cloth over her bed, “You’re not just wearing the same clothes, you’re also wearing the same makeup, which means whatever was left in your purse overnight, and you kind of smell like his deodorant instead of your body spray, plus your hair is a little damp still, which makes sense because he doesn’t have a hair dryer--he doesn’t believe in them, he’s too afraid that adding heat will make his sweating worse…Plus you’re walking like you’re a little sore, kind of like you’re sore. Like, not just like your legs are sore, but--”

“Okay, okay!” Aradia laughed, walking to the bathroom to change, suddenly aware of her posture and gait. She left the door ajar, wide enough to hear and be heard clearly, “I didn’t realize you were such a detective!”

“Blame Terezi. We had a CSI Miami marathon while we were sewing these little guys, but she kept standing up and shouting ‘OBJECTION’ and feeding me jellybeans.”

Aradia popped her head out of the bathroom, shoulders bare, bra in one hand and quizzical look on her face, and Nepeta explained further. “You know a drinking game? Like when this guy does this thing in the movie, you have to take a shot? We did that but with jelly beans. Detectives use cops instead of forensic examiners? OBJECTION and a jellybean. Forensics results come back in less than 24 hours? OBJECTION and bean. Technology gets used in ways that don’t actually exist? OBJECTIONBEAN! Someone goes easy on a perp? OBJECTIONBEAN! Official polite protocol gets ignored basically? OBJECTIONBEAN! I have justice-laden diabetes now!” Nepeta mock-whined as she folded up and put some of the cloth away, “Hey, I’ve narrowed it down to these three for Tavros.”

Aradia came out of the bathroom, pulling the towel hamper behind her, and looked over, “The caramel-tan one. Can you do the wings in orange?”

Nepeta snapped off a quick salute and put the other cloth away, beginning to jibber again, “And she has ALL the Ace Attorney series, though she likes Perfect Prosecutor best, and-“

Aradia held up a hand, “I want to hear this, I honestly do, but I have to get laundry started before work.” She gestured to Nepeta’s hamper, “You want me to throw your stuff in, too?”

Nepeta nodded in agreement and Aradia pulled her hamper along, nudging out of the door, “Keep the conversation warm for me, though, I’ll be right back!”

A few moments passed in relative quiet, with Nepeta humming to herself as she pinned paper patterns to cloth, interrupted only by a gaudy chime coming from Aradia’s purse. Nepeta jumped up and helped herself to Aradia’s phone, scrolling through a lengthy text conversation.

_hi! y0u d0nt kn0w me but i am a friend 0f s0llux and i am l00king f0r a ph0t0grapher  
feferi sh0wed me s0me 0f y0ur w0rk and y0u are very g00d!_

_an here i thought that snaggletoothed misanthrope wwas makin it all up wwhen he made the scurrilous claim he had some fuckin friends  
so id wwager youre either ara or some manner a hallucination in wwhich case i got to congratulate you on bein so damned convvincin_

_yes!  
aradia megid0 at y0ur service!_

_wwords like that can cause a lot a trouble swweetheart  
givvin a man dangerous ideas  
so wwhat can i help you wwith_

Nepeta didn’t bother to look up when the door opened. “Oh, did Sollux respond?” Aradia asked, flopping down on her bed with a bounce, not the slightest bit angry about her privacy being invaded. After a point, adorable yet intrusive catgirls just become a part of life.

“Nah,” Nepeta said, not looking up, “Who’s Eridan?”

“Sollux’s roommate bathroom sharing guy thing, but I’m pretty sure there’s more going on than just a roommate situation.” Nepeta’s grinned brightly, and Aradia continued, pulling out her laptop, “And apparently he’s a good photographer, so I’m going to check him out on two counts. Hey, tell me if Sollux messages, okay? We had a deal that when one of us got laid for the first time, there would be pancakes and gloating, and it’s about time to cash in.”

Nepeta shot a thumbs-up, resuming her reading.

_i am l00king f0r a ph0t0grapher t0 take s0me p0rtraits f0r my b0yfriend  
his birthday is t0wards the end 0f n0vember but i w0uld like t0 have this d0ne as s00n as p0ssible_

_for the sake a clarity are wwe discussin boudoir photography or something a little more fit for exhibition because thats goin to affect the terms a compensation_

_plain please i just want s0mething he can keep in his wallet and s0mething either t0 hang 0n a wall 0r set 0n a desk 0r p0ssibly b0th i havent decided yet  
depending 0n what I can aff0rd y0u understand_

_if cost is the problem maybe wwe can wwork somethin out insofar as the aforementioned compensation is concerned  
hear sol tell youre some manner a vvip down at reddings coffee  
any chance you can make my favorite a part a the regular menu  
call it the ampora  
itll fuckin sell itself_

_s0rry n0 that is n0t within my p0wer but i can get y0u s0me baked g00ds 0n me_

_its a start  
actually i got some ideas a my owwn includin a fresh hot latte wwhen you showw up for your shoot  
also if youre wwillin to do a bit a extra modelin for an assignment a mine i think i can manage all the prints you wwant_

_thats all?  
it s0unds t00 g00d t0 be true  
d0 i have t0 sign in bl00d s0mewhere f0r this?_

_i aint about to go chargin wwhat you aint up for payin  
just showw up in wwhatevver you wwant your beau seein you in that wwont get you arrested on the wway an i wwill take care a the rest  
in fact i can evven manage your make up for you if you send me a headshot or somethin ahead a time so i can see wwhat im wworkin wwith_

_w00!  
deal although i can handle my own makeup  
when can we d0 this?  
like I said his birthday is in a c0uple 0f weeks but the s00ner it is d0ne the s00ner i can st0p w0rrying_

_im busy this wweek but i can see if i can movve some things around an fit you in sometime friday  
specially for a dame a such discernment an taste  
though that makes your invvolvvement wwith sol just that much more suspect_

_i can manage friday at five 0r later  
d0 i meet y0u at s0lluxs d0rm 0r what_

_nah i got a studio i use on harper street  
i wwill email you the details wwhen i get back to my comp_

“Did he send you these details?” Nepeta asked, tossing the phone back to Aradia, who clambered to catch it.

“Not yet. That whole conversation took like two days,” Aradia pointed toward the phone, “I hope I get the details soon or he’ll probably put me off again.”

“He must be really busy!” Nepeta shrugged, as the text chime went off. She looked down and sang out, “Sollux! Do you want me to read it to you?”

“I wouldn’t dream of making you halt your dragon progress any further,” Aradia smirked, and made a small yelp as her phone came flying towards her bed, chucked by Nepeta.

She scrambled to catch it, and paraphrased, “Sollux can’t make it today, or even the rest of the week. Friday looks good for him, though…looks like I’ll be having a busy day!”

Nepeta snickered, snipping through cloth, “And I’m suuuuure that by then, you’ll be able to manage the walk of shame a couple more times.”

“Shame?” Aradia grinned, as she typed out a confirmation to Sollux, “That was no walk of shame, Nepeta, that was a _strut._ ”

A strut she hoped she would continue to make many, many more times.


	16. >Aradia: Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Eridan gets his first encounter with a comely, sweet Aradia for her photography session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dyzzy here, and I am so, so sorry for this taking so long. There were some large blocks on what was meant to be the second part of this chapter, but we made everyone wait far too long. We hope to get back to some kind of updating schedule, if I can get my crud together. Once again, my most sincere apologies, and thank you all (especially Epi) for your patience <3

Once again in the studio, Eridan took his time setting up, stretching and yawning from time to time. Not that he minded being up early when he had to, but the crisp November chill had sunk into his bones, and he hadn’t wanted to get out of bed.

Still, he’d made arrangements, and what manner of gentleman would he be if he blew off his fuckbuddy’s best gal?

Not that he had to be nervous about impressing her, of course. What little he had gleaned from Sollux had made her out to be fairly easy-going, albeit strangely morbid, while Feferi seemed gleefully enthusiastic about finding a “new accomplice and braiding buddy.” Still, Eridan checked his hair once more in a mirror, and straightened his black turtleneck and gauzy striped scarf, before checking his custom-tailored jeans for dirt. It wouldn’t hurt to leave a good impression, after all.

Ten minutes before the appointed hour, Aradia arrived with two coffees in a cardboard caddy, a small selection of breakfast pastries, and a bright smile. “Hello! Eridan, right? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Eridan gave a short bow, graciously taking the coffee labeled for him and waving her inside. “You too, Ar. C’mon in, make yourself at home; here, toss your coat anywhere, an’ I’ll be takin’ those goodies off your hands.” He relieved her of the pastry selection, keeping an appreciative eye on her as she slipped off her black coat. 

Looking over her body as she moved, he wondered idly at the vast difference between this girl and his scrawny neighbor-and-lay; where Sollux was all thin bone and hard angles, Aradia was round curves and soft flesh Sure, Aradia didn’t exactly come off as a wealthy fashionista, but nobody wore a black mermaid skirt like that unless they knew exactly what it would do to their figure…and plenty of figure to boast, too. Impractically long black hair, wine red lips and smoky eyes, a thin chain necklace about her throat just long enough to dip a silver pendant into her ample cleavage (enough to draw the eye without being obvious), and heels high enough to add swagger without becoming troublesome.

Eridan couldn’t help but smirk. This girl knew her stuff.

“So!” Aradia chirped, snapping Eridan out of his reverie, “I’ve never had a professional photoshoot, what do I have to do, and while we’re on the subject, we never did hammer out exactly how I pay you back.”

“I said I wasn’t gonna charge what you weren’t willin’ to pay, an’ I meant it,” Eridan said, walking to the stool in the middle of the studio and patting it, “Park your carcass, I need to see how you look lit up ‘fore I choose your backdrop.”

“And yet, the details still remain vague,” Aradia mused, sitting down as offered. She watched him with curiosity as he inspected her from a few angles.

“Fair enough,” he admitted with a smile, before selecting some burgundy canvas to hang behind her. “Naturally, I’m goin’ to want to know everythin’ incriminatin’ you got on Sol. Embarrassin’ stories, blackmail fodder, criminal record, whatever you got that he don’t want me knowin’.”

Aradia laughed, kicking her legs with her head turned prettily to watch him. “Obviously. That’ll take time, though, and a lot more than I have now. How about over coffee sometime?”

Eridan grinned and nodded in approval as he grabbed a few strands of pearls from is messenger bag, “Next, I just need a li’l extra modelin’. Got an idea, symbolizin’ man’s eternal struggle to hold onto material wealth an’ in turn bein’ controlled by it.” He shoved the pearls in his pocket and took her hands, scooting up her sleeves and positioning her arms, a flirtatious smirk and a gleam in his eye sneaking out, “You ain’t contrary to the notion a bein’ tied up just a li’l, right? Strictly professional, you understand.”

“I don’t know, I’m not sure I’m ready to be professionally tied up,” Aradia snickered, giving him a smug smirk as she took cues from him, her wrists together and her fingers loose.  
Needing no further convincing that he liked this girl, Eridan gave her a smarmy “I’ll be gentle, seein’ as you seem a first-timer” and began to bind her wrists with long strands of pure white pearls. His eyes flicked up to hers, "Now normally I ain't one to be givin' a lady a pearl necklace on his first time meetin' her, but what can I say? My muse beckons."

Aradia met his smirk with a knowing grin, "Yes, but a pearl necklace only lasts so long. You have to keep going back for a replacement, though maybe that's the point?"

"Your beau, he gives 'em to you often, does he?" 

"No, but what he does give me, he gives to me good." Aradia tested her bonds as Eridan finished securing her arms together, and she accepted a few strands of pearls he handed her.

"You an' me, we're gonna get along just fine." Eridan chuckled and squatted down, eyeing her hands and getting a sense for the lighting.

When Eridan moved to adjust the lamp, Aradia held up her bound arms, "So, tell me...Do treat Sollux so well?" 

“Told you about that, did he?” he laughed and turned to her.

Aradia shrugged, “No, but I’ve known him most of my life, and he complains about you enough where I have a hunch you and he aren’t just sharing a bathroom.”

"Yeah, you could put it that way," he snorted, walking to the desk and picking up his camera, before looking up, an eyebrow raised, "He seriously ain't said a word about us bein’ a thing? I'd got the notion that you an' he were closer'n kin."

Aradia replied, "Well he's also a disagreeable grump as you well know and he doesn't always let me in. I wouldn't go so far as to say he's ashamed of liking guys, but he gets too defensive when the subject comes up for me to wonder otherwise. If anything, I think he's in denial."

"I s'pose. He does sort a strike me as bein' so far in the closet, he's gettin' hickeys from Mr. Tumnus." Still, it left a sour taste in Eridan's mouth to think that Sollux regarded him and their...whatever they had going...with shame even from his best girl.

His curiosity was far from just casual, and Aradia asked, head cocked and eyebrows upraised, "You seem pretty annoyed by this, or am I mistaken? Aren’t you and he talking about this? I mean, if he’s in a relationship with--" 

He waved her off a little too quickly, "Nah, see--" He leaned against the desk, sorting his thoughts, "Look. It's fuckin' apparent that you got enough wits on you to figure what he don't want found, so if I happen to let slip anythin', I ain't tellin', I'd only be confirmin' what you already know, right?"

She nodded, giggling, “Yeah, I get that. Isn't it kind of funny, though, that he thinks that he's being subtle?"

"Prob'ly thinks he's a regular spy, sneakin' around an' carryin' on a double-life or somesuch." Eridan snorted and rocked forward on his heels, "I ain't out to date him, I just like fuckin' him. Though, this conversation stays between us, deal?"

A shaded look briefly crossed her eyes before she cleared her throat, "Understood. So! You're a busy guy then with your photography?"

"Generally," He took up his camera, eyeing her and holding up a finger, his expression serious, "Now I know what you're thinkin', you're probably judgin' me harsh for bein' up-front. I'll have you know, I treat Sol with every bit a respect a steady lay ought to have, an' I see he gets as good as he gives, or better. I'm a fuckin' gentleman, even to that snarky asshole, okay."

She gave him a gentle smile. "I wasn't presuming otherwise, frankly it feels a bit like charity considering you seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time with the crank than he's used to and you still seem to be in one piece. And whatever else he might say, _someone_ is being a good influence on him, so my guess is, it’s you."

Eridan flashed her another winning smile, leveling his camera at her bound hands, "What can I say? I'm a charitable sort. Now, I figure we ought get to business. Be a darlin' an' clench down on those pearls, will you? Like you're holdin' on to spite grim death."

Aradia's legs stretched out slightly, the curves of her calves and thighs deliciously apparent in the lighting of the room. It was difficult to tell if she was trying to be alluring or if it came naturally to her.

Eridan glanced down at those legs, smirking, and got on with the matter of photographing her hands. He took at least a dozen shots from various angles, "That's it, you're doin' perfectly. Just hold steady like that..."

Aradia's eyes were doe-like and innocent as though the one before her was her lover, not the photographer capturing her image.

He smirked, thinking to himself _Whatever man gets those eyes looking up at him when those lips are around his cock is a right lucky bastard._ He finished up and took the last photo—a head-on shot, leaving her lips and chest blurred in the background--leaving him with a wide selection of close-ups of just her hands to choose from. He set the camera aside, "Perfect. Now let's just get you undid an' we can move on to what you're after. You wantin' anythin' particular from this shoot?"

"Oh! These weren't for me? Darn and here I had the best come hither look all prepped and everything!" Aradia sighed, shaking her head with a slight grin, "At least I'm warmed up now!"

Unwrapping the pearls from her wrists, he glanced down her cleavage, and then to her face. Firmly he instructed her, "No practiced looks. Nothin' fake. All you got to worry about is doin' as I say, an' I promise you the best fuckin' pictures a your life. Got it?"

"Right, no faking, you got it." Aradia pointed with a snap of both her fingers into double pistols up at him.

He set his hands on her shoulders, turning her slightly and giving her a smile as he considered how to best capture her. "After all, you wouldn' be fake for that beau a yours, right? I ain't him but that's who you're doin' this for, so you be as real for me as you are for him. Got it?"

"Got it!" She sang and rolled her shoulders back with bravado and great concentration; this was her big debut as a lovely, sexy, model-worthy girlfriend and she was going to milk it for all it was worth. She threw her hair back over her shoulder, truly a cascade of raven hair accompanied with a dimpled smile.

He stepped away, eyes on her, looking away only to adjust the lights once more before taking up his camera and adjusting it. "So, you been with this beau long?"

"A month and a half; it's getting pretty serious though." Aradia replied dreamily, smile steadily growing more genuine at the mention of Equius.

"So think about him." Aradia brightened and opened her mouth to speak but he waved her off, "Don't bother tellin' me anythin' about him, he's no concern a mine. I just need you you sitin' an' thinkin' about him." 

Aradia's expression was darkened with a twinge of distaste for a moment, "Oh, I thought you might want to make conversation or-"

"Another time. Right now I need to focus an’ so do you. Talkin’ makes for poor pictures an’ I only give the best." Eridan said as he continued to work.

Aradia pouted briefly, confused and somewhat put off, but she supposed that this sort of rude behavior would be what Equius was trying to keep her from. No matter. She cleared her throat once more, arranging her hair as elegantly as possible about her chai-brown shoulders. From under her eyelashes she peered up toward the camera lens.

Eridan leveled the camera...No, no, something wasn't right. He peeked up at her over the camera, "Look, I'm tryin' to capture how you really feel about your beau. Intellectualizin’ your emotions an’ explainin' how you feel ain't the same as experiencin’ the feelings, right?" He sighed and moved a half-foot to the left, "Look, I'll talk you through this, but you don't have to answer anythin', just let yourself experience whatever you're feelin', okay? We'll start off easy: How'd you meet? Don't answer, just remember."

Fondly recalling the memory of the tall young man, chest puffed with bravado, the way he grew flustered at Nepeta’s antics; she could not help but smile warmly, toes curling in her shoes and one hand fussing with the fabric of her skirt.

 _There._ Eridan fired off a few quick warm-up shots, smirking, "Must a been a good day." He stepped a little closer, standing off to the side for a profile, "Did he ask you out or did you beat him to the punch?"

She giggled, eyes squeezing shut as she squirmed about in her seat, her hips wiggling a little.

He circled, smiling indulgently as he fired off photos from a variety of angles, "An' I bet the first date was fuckin' magic." He zoomed in for a close-up and snapped his fingers to call her attention, "Fucks good, does he?"

Her face grew bright with surprise and embarrassment at once, a good picture on its own before it dissolved into an alluring smile when the next series of memories filtered through her expressions. Trigger-happy with his camera, Eridan took photos of the whole progression, giving her a knowing grin, "Heh, that's everythin' I need to know right there. One last question, Ar, an’ we can wrap this up. Do you love him?"

Aradia glanced away, eyes lowered and a gentle smile tugged her lips up. She had no need to speak, they both knew what her answer was.

One final photo taken, and Eridan set his camera back on the table. “An’ we’re done. I’ll sort the photos an’ pick the best, send ‘em to you by email along with my recommendations; I figure I can fix you up with an eight-by ten an’ some wallets, an’ I’ll see if I can swing a three-by-five or two as well.”

He offered his hand and Aradia accepted it graciously, sliding off the stool, “Great! I can’t thank you enough!” She bounced over to get her coat, slipping it on with a wiggle of her hips, “And I’ll look at my schedule and see when we can get together for a gossip session. How do Mondays work for you?”

“Not so good,” he said, watching her with a grin, before walking over to get the door for her, one hand at the small of her back, “But I got some time this weekend. Hey, me an’ Sol an’ Fef an’ a couple others are goin’ to be havin’ a li’l drinkin’ party on Sunday night, why don’t you tag along?” 

She hesitated, biting her lip a little as she buttoned her coat, and he continued, “Bring your beau if you like, just let me know what you both favor drinkin’ an’ I’ll see it there. I ain’t one to make another man feel like I’m stealin’ his girl.”

Aradia laughed and shook her head. “No, no, it’s not like that. We just had plans already and I was hoping to make those plans run especially late,” she grinned, giving him an obvious wink. 

Eridan grinned, “Clearly your priorities are in their proper order. Another time then.” He bowed low and kissed her hand, “I’ll have your photos emailed by midnight, or may my cameras turn into pumpkins. Take it easy, Ar.”

“Thanks again,” Aradia waved, on her way down the hall, as he was closing the door, “I’ll say hi to Sollux for you at dinner!”

“Wait, what?” Eridan stopped in his tracks and flung the door open to go after her, though she was already out of sight.


	17. >Sollux: Be Summoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which claws are mercilessly dug into compatriots for information and advice respectively.

_hey s0llux!  
are y0u 0n the way t0 the bus st0p yet 0r sh0uld i c0me get y0u?_

_iim almo2t there aa je2u2.  
be2iid2e2 that would mean goiing pa2t the 2top two get two me._

_0kay i will see y0u s00n!  
is it 0kay if we g0 back t0 that place y0u t00k me t0 last time?_

_ugh that fuckiing giirly place.  
can ii drop dead before enteriing?_

_as l0ng as y0u get 0ff the bus first as i am n0t certain i can drag y0ur c0rpse 0ff first and it is rude t0 leave a deceased pers0n 0n public transit_

_bluh well 2iince you put iit liike that fiine. you're payiing then._

_i t0ld y0u i was g0ing t0 anyway!  
there is celebrating t0 be d0ne after all!_

_oh riight ii forgot._

\----

Aradia looked up from her phone to see the lanky young curmudgeon typing furiously on his phone with a placid expression, bundled up in his coat and familiar yellow scarf as he walked towards the bus stop. She called out to him, bouncing up and down where she stood and waving her black-mittened hands, "Hey Sollux! Hey!"

He lifted his head and shoved his phone back in his pocket, waving back at the loud girl. "Somebody's excited. You must've missed me bad," he grinned, ambling over at a lazy pace.

She bounded over and hugged him, causing him to stagger back. "Well, yeah! I haven't seen you in a week, I've been worried about you. Guess you've been busy, huh?"

"Oh yes,” he nodded in agreement, giving her a couple of pats to the head, “Been busy beyond a belief astounding professors and classmates alike."

Aradia grinned and took his arm, walking with him the last few paces to the bus stop, "No doubt. Someone has to show those professors of yours how it's done." A chill November wind kicked up and she tugged her coat closer around her.

"Yep, I'll be a downright fucking revolutionary like in every other college movie." Sollux shivered with his hands thrust in his pockets as he attempted to warm the underside of his nose with his upper lip. "Did I mention I hate fall? Seriously, the cold can just eat my ass out."

"That sounds exceptionally uncomfortable," Aradia said, looking to see if the bus was coming yet. The bus, naturally, was stubbornly resolute not to come early, but a girl could hope. Disappointed, she looked back up to Sollux, wrapping an arm around him. "Do you really mind if we go to Maggie's again? Those pecan rolls were so good!"

Sollux rolled his head back and shrugged, "Whatever, it's your money. As long as I don't get a table manners and etiquette tutorial from you too, I think we're solid."

Aradia laughed, "Like that'd even work. If I tried, you'd probably just sit on the floor and quack like a duck to spite me." She glanced around for the bus again, "Anyway, we've got a deal, and I plan to live up to it."

Soon--though not soon enough for their poor cold noses--the bus did come, Sollux making low quacking noises as he waddled over to the opening doors. Aradia laughed and followed him, sitting beside him on the bus and watching the others file on, chatting idly with Sollux, who responded with quacks of agreement.

After a short ride and a shorter wait, the two were seated comfortably in a cozy booth at Maggie’s, looking over the menu. "Now, I think I promised you celebratory pancakes, but I guess whatever you want is fine. What do you recommend here besides the souffle?"

Sollux hunkered down to look at the menu, "I dunno. Last time I was here without you I didn't even get to see the menu."

Aradia scanned the menu, tempted by the strawberry waffles, and casually asked, "And are you at all curious about why we're celebrating?"

"I figured you'd let me in on the big secret eventually." Sollux yawned.

Ignoring her friend's disinterest, she beamed, "I got laid! And, as promised, I have invited you to celebratory got-laid pancakes!"

Sollux balked, genuinely surprised. "No shit? Wait, how long's it even been? Isn't there some Catholic no-fucking rule or some shit?"

"Yeah, but there's no agnostic no-fucking rule," she shrugged, turning the page of her menu, "It's been...five weeks, I think, since we started officially dating, but the sexy part started last week." 

Sollux gave a reluctant slow clap, "I'm not exactly surprised, more like fucking puzzled about how you let that happen."

She set down her menu and started to gesture, "Well, first a lot of foreplay, then you go slow at first. Plenty of stretching, and it doesn't hurt at all!"

"Oh god I'm not hearing this from you." Sollux slid his fingers in his hair, palms over his ears and eyes scrunched shut, "Dadadada don't need sex ed from my childhood friend!"

Aradia leaned forward, lacing her fingers together and resting her chin on the backs of her hands with a satisfied grin, "Then what did you mean? Is it so weird I'd want to sleep with my boyfriend?"

Sollux dropped his hands, hair now rather disheveled from his fingers, "No, it's not that, it's just... well don't girls usually want to wait for that kind of thing?"

"Many do, but I felt the time was right. And why not? Equius and I have a good relationship, we enjoy each other's company, we have fun together... so now we have sex, too. And it's great! A+, would recommend!" Aradia giggled and wiggled in her seat.

Sollux nodded his head slightly and rubbed his temples, looking clearly tired.

Aradia tilted her head, waiting and leaving room for him to agree, to deny, react at all. Granted, she hadn't expected the kind of giddy congratulation that Nepeta had offered, but she had expected more reaction than he'd shown. She cleared her throat and began to speak, only to be cut off by the arrival of the waitress with two glasses of water. 

"What can I get for you folks today?" asked the chipper woman. 

Aradia ordered herself a coffee and glanced over, "Do you know what you want?"

"You got Mountain Dew here, right?" Sollux asked, peeking up at her.

The woman nodded, undeterred in her demeanor. 

“Strawberry pancakes for me, and pecan rolls to share, please! And a coffee,” sang Aradia, handing over the menu with a bright smile. The waitress jotted down the order and looked to Sollux expectantly.

Sollux in turn took a few moments to peruse the menu, "Um, I'll have a ham and cheddar panini."

The waitress nodded and bustled off, and Aradia wiggled a little in her seat, "So how are classes going? Is it midterms that kept you holed up for a week, or what?"

Sollux nodded, "My english comp professor is a sack of shit who won't give me a fucking break. I'm not a fucking english major and I don't give a shit about writing essays about bullshit."

"If you need a proofreader I can always ask Nepeta. She does a lot of writing, maybe she can give you some advice?" Aradia offered, recalling her roommate's occasional forays into fanfiction and speculative essays.

He sighed in exhaustion, "I don't even give a shit, I mean, why should I even have to care about this 'well-rounded education' crap? I do computer shit because it's what I'm good at, throwing this english shit at me is just a waste of my money."

She shrugged, "I guess it's all part of the experience. We're here to experience things and get fitted out for some mythical 'real world' and discover ourselves--or, at the very least, that's a very convincing argument for charging us for another two semesters' worth of classes, don't you think?"

Sollux's glower stung sourly before he shrugged heavily, "It's a terrible fucking system."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. But even if it's a rigged game, we have to play it; unless people are hiring back-alley programmers and picking archaeologists and curators off of street corners, we've got to get a degree if we want jobs in our fields."

Thinking on his recent exploits, all those hours spent on ‘special projects’ for his employer, Sollux couldn’ help but chuckle. "I'd have more luck than you on that account."

Aradia giggled, "Well, maybe, but you want to be a high-class programmer. Not some dime-a-dozen street-coder who'll defrag for a buck."

Sollux faked a smoker's cough, "C'mon baby just gimme another frag, you know I can fuckin' give you what you need..."

"I don't know, show me that big brain of yours so I know what I'm paying for," she grinned, pulling out her wallet, "Does it cost extra to get you to talk nerdy to me?"

"Maybe I should, it's a talent and it comes just so naturally to me." Sollux made his eyebrows dance just before the waitress came back with their food and drinks. He had briefly forgotten how quick the service was at the small cafe. _No wonder the prissy fuckhead likes it so much,_ he thought. He then took a sip of his soda nonchalantly.

Aradia thanked the waitress, bouncing excitedly, and shoved her wallet back in her purse. She wasted no time in sawing off the first slice of strawberry pancake and popped it in her mouth, followed shortly with a pleased purr and a roll of her eyes. "I need their recipe. Who do I bribe for it?"

Sollux shrugged, "I'm not sure. Guess you could ask our waitress or whoever's mom or uncle in the back made them."

"Mission accepted." She sliced off a forkful and put it on Sollux's plate, before taking a pecan roll.

Sollux stared at the offering of strawberry pancake and gingerly slipped it back onto Aradia’s plate, “The mission no one even gave you.”

After a few more bites of pancake, she sipped her coffee, carefully considering the best way to approach the subject. Failing to find a good way, she settled for, "So, Eridan seems really nice!"

Sollux's nose wrinkled as he looked at her, "Really? ugh, either he took his midol or he was eyeing you up like a pile of unscrupulously tasty pancakes."

"Well, he was a flirt, that's for sure," she admitted, waving idly with her fork, "But he was pretty much a gentleman. A foul-mouthed, highly flirtatious gentleman with a weird accent and a wandering eye, but a gentleman nonetheless. Where's he from, anyway?"

"Texas I think, and Ireland's somehow involved. First time I heard him talk I thought he had a stroke." Sollux explained as he disassembled his sandwich, tucking into the ham portion.

"I dunno, I think it's sort of sexy," she angled, hoping he'd take the bait. "And he's not at all bad-looking, either."

The bait, however, metaphorically dunked underwater and sank. "What's your point?"

Aradia casually ate another bite of pancake, considering. It would probably be wiser to back off, but she couldn't help but be curious about what would happen if she pushed the point. "I'm just curious about him. I mean, how exactly did you two get into this big fight of yours that keeps on going for some reason? He asked about you, by the way."

Sollux looked genuinely surprised, "We're not fighting, he just gets on my bad side a lot."

"With particular skill, apparently," she said, sitting back and smirking. "He asked for blackmail, so maybe you get on his bad side just as much."

Sollux raised a hand, palm up, and shrugged. "See? It's totally even so nobody's losing an eye or anything."

“As long as you're happy with your relationship." She giggled and reached for another bun, "I only told him the good stuff, you know. You wet the bed until you were seventeen, your first kiss was a lake trout, and you have a fetish for Ewoks."

"You're a psychotic bitch, you know that?" Sollux glared flatly, "I'm telling your boyfriend you like it up the butt."

Aradia blanked, color draining from her face, and she stared at him, "Sollux, I was just joking! Was this not a thing we do? Teasing back and forth? I thought that was what we did. You joke about being a program-prostitute, I joke about telling your roommate obvious lies, you follow up with something lighthearted and snarky, probably perverted enough to make even me blush, and we argue about who's getting the tip. Probably with a joke about that, too." She set down her coffee, genuinely concerned, "Did I go too far?"

Sollux's eyes then widened, lifting his hands defensively, "Jesus AA, I was joking too! Fuck, should've asked ED for some spare tampons if you're this sensitive."

"You scared me there, Sollux!" she sighed, slumping back on the bench. "And you're one to talk about being sensitive about stuff!" She sat back up, gesturing with her hands, "And thank god, because I don't think I could survive going butt-wise with Equius. He's like this big!"

Sollux tried to not to think of how big a pain in the ass that would be in a very real sense, cringing and clenching unconsciously, "That's just fucking terrifying."

"Yes, but fantastic when applied elsewhere." She picked up the last of her pancake with her fork, "Wonder when you'll be treating to got-laid pancakes?"

"When I get around to it." He shrugged, unease building up in his stomach as he tried to eat his ham peacefully.

Aradia sighed and finished her pancakes in quiet as Sollux finished his meal, more than a little upset at his evasiveness. She felt hurt, too; the two of them were supposed to be thick as thieves, right? Sollux and Aradia, snarking at the world, telling each other their deepest and closest secrets, the things no one else must know, and he couldn't open up to her? Even though she trusted him with her most personal issues, her joys and defeats and secrets? 

_What, I'm not good enough anymore?_ repeated through her head as she paid the bill and slipped back into her coat. 

Sollux made his way towards the door, hands in his pockets, "Jesus, what's got you all quiet and moody? That's my job. Not the quiet part, but at least the dark cloud of 'fuck you' that shades me enough to keep me emo white."

Aradia stood at the bus-stop, mercifully empty, and turned on Sollux, brows knotted in irritation, "You! I know you're hiding something from me, yeah, we all get it, you're a big recluse. Fine! But I thought I wasn't just people to you! I want to know why you don't trust me!"

Sollux blanched, eyes going wide behind his glasses before they knit together in an annoyed glower, "Jesus titfucking Christ AA what the fuck did ED tell you!?"

Shaking her head, Aradia held up her hands to wave him off, "This has nothing to do with him, but no, he didn't say anything." She sighed, "Once or twice I remember you looking at guys in high school, that same look you get when there's something you want. You're defensive about guys. You're defensive about Eridan, and if I am not too mistaken there's something fond in your voice when you talk about him, and in how you mess with him.”

His expression grew more and more like a possum’s about thirty seconds before becoming roadkill before he reigned it back into a snarl, "You don't know what you're fucking talking about!"

"Maybe not! Maybe I'm completely backwards, but you're hiding from me, and I deserve to know what I did to you to make you stop trusting me!" Aradia deflated, her whole posture sinking, and she reached for his hand, "I thought you and I were open with each other. I thought we were close, Sollux."

Completely avoiding her feelings, Sollux roared, making Aradia flinch and recoil, "This isn't fucking about _you_ AA! Did that even _occur_ to you? Maybe I just want to have my own thoughts and not just advertise everything on my mind like you do!? I'm not an open book and I'm not a fucking faggot, ok!?" He then turned on his heel and began walking back in the direction of the school in spite of the distance, the yellow scarf she had crocheted serving as a chiding, gentle reminder that he fucked up big time.

Watching him go, Aradia felt more alone and empty than she ever had, as if all the warmth in her veins had been blasted out of her. She stood still as a statue, tears beginning to dribble from her eyes, and watched her best friend storm away. 

The bus came and she boarded alone. She wiped her eyes, sniffling, and decided to go home, cry to Nepeta, and apologize first thing in the morning. She leaned forward and began to thump her head lightly on the seat in front of her when her phone began to chime.

_fiine ii'm iinto ed ok? you satiisfiied?_

Aradia paused before replying; she was just glad to hear from him.

_i am s0 s0rry s0llux i did n0t mean t0 be a jerk_

_iit's fiine_

She breathed out a heavy sigh and typed out _thank you sollux i will see you tomorrow and make it up to you with lunch_ before slumping against the seat back.

==>

Back on campus, Eridan sat in a cloud of steam and mouth-watering aromas outside of the biological sciences building, bundled up in thick scarf and coat, irritably checking his watch. He leaned against the lamp post, the evening creeping in, perking up when he noted that people were beginning to stream out of the building.

Kanaya, purse and tote bag in hand, came out of the building without noticing Eridan immediately. Once she did, she turned her dark rimmed eyes to him and began to walk over, 

"Eridan, what are you doing here?"

He flashed her a bright shark's smile and shrugged, and held up the large take-away bag in his left hand. "Figured it's been too long since you an' I had a li'l bondin' time, an' suitin' word with deed I picked up a li'l somethin' for us both at Punjab Palace. Unless you got other plans already?"

"Oh my goodness, you went all the way there just for take-out?" Kanaya closed the distance between them more swiftly, noticing the recognizable gold and violet bag, "You really shouldn't have."

"Anythin' for one a my longest-standin', longest-sufferin' compatriots, Kan. Now, where shall we find ourselves a li'l place to eat an' talk in peace an' quiet?"

"We can either go to my dorm room or the common room, just to get out of the cold." Kanaya began to lead Eridan back toward her dormitory building.

Eridan hesitated, rubbing his arms from the cold. "Think we can find somethin' nice an' quiet, without riskin' bein' overheard by Fef or anythin'?" he asked.

Kanaya walked back to him, eyebrows piqued. Clearly there was an ulterior motive at play. Regardless, she played along, "We could try the greenhouse, but I'm hoping you don’t mind the smell of stagnating flora clinging to life up there."

He waved her off, seeming to relax, "Lead on, you're the bio-botanist, an' let's get our picnic goin'." He offered her his arm and a cheesy grin, "After all, I am a gentleman."

She ignored the offered arm, leading him back into the building she had just come from. When the both of them stood before the elevator, she pressed the UP button and waited, "So what was so urgent that Feferi could not overhear us?"

"Oh, it ain't anythin' agin Fef, but I'd be thankful if you don't go mentionin' it to anybody." He chewed the inside of his cheek, watching the elevator numbers, avoiding Kanaya's all-seeing eyes. "I just happened to a been stood up for yet another dinner with That Guy again an' I decided that I'd be much better spendin' my time with an ol' friend than devotin' much grief to his raggedy ass for one evenin'."

Kanaya's expression soured briefly as the elevator came, "So I'm just supposed to pretend that this visit isn't out of spite or revenge?"

He looked affronted, and straightened, "You wound me, Kan! Here I come, bringin' you goat curry an' paneer--which as I recall happens to be your favorite flavor a sacrificial goat--on account a I realized I'd been horrendously negligent in my duties as your friend an' comrade, an' you lay dispersions upon both my motives an' my very person on account a I happen to mention he's bein' an ass?" He snorted, paused, and added, "Besides, revenge an' spite don't count in the slightest when the asshole you're layin' such against doesn't give a shit."

Kanaya let him ramble, keeping her eyes on the buttons as they lit up with their ascent. When they were on the top floor, the fourth floor, of the building, she walked out into the small hallway that led to the outside.

Kanaya flipped the lights on, the illumination bringing color and life to the already lush, green plants in the warm building. The greenhouse covered the expanse of the roof, an ever-standing haze of condensation on the roof obscuring stars or clouds in the sky. She led the way towards a few picnic tables that sat on the edge of the other side of the roof,  
"Somebody's dramatically verbose."

Eridan sat down beside her and loosened his coat before unpacking their meal and accoutrements. "It ain't that I'm bein' dramatic, I just don't see as I can't spend some time with a close friend for an evenin'." He set a box of rice and a foil-wrapped packet of naan between them, and handed her a round plastic tub of goat curry. "Though, long as we got the rest a the evenin' just you an' me, I suppose I might as well vent a li'l an' get your advice on a couple a matters," he admitted, spooning out some saag onto his own plate.

Kanaya sat, dumbfounded for a moment, too tired from her day to deal with yet another of Eridan’s self-martyring monologues, "Are you serious, Eridan? Did not occur to you that maybe I might have some more pleasant things I'd like to talk about that don't involve your sordid comedy of errors?"

Eridan threw his hands up in surrender, nearly toppling the plate balanced in his lap, "A course! I'm askin' here Kan, I ain't demandin'!” He gestured animatedly, sincerity in his wide eyes, “I'm only sayin' that, if the evenin's conversation happened to wind its merry way in that direction, I'd be even more grateful to you than I'd be for you merely warmin' a chill evenin' with pleasant chatter an' good cheer, is all." He threw his open palm towards rest of the meal, "Look, if you'd rather, I can take up no more a your time than what it takes for you to scarfle what's on your plate an' take the rest back home, but I'm honestly not _tryin'_ to be an asshole here."

Kanaya finally surrendered and served herself an ample portion of the goat curry and paneer with a long sigh, "All right. Well my day went pleasantly, it was one of my longer days complete with math and dimensions."

Eridan nodded, serving himself some rice and beginning to pick at his dinner, "That guy in math still givin' you stink eye? Ever figure out what his deal was?"

She shrugged noncommittally, "I have my theories, but my insight can only go so far. Despite what you and Karkat may think to the contrary, I'm no mind-reader."

"Long as he ain't givin' you any actual trouble, I don't give a shit," he said with a nod of finality. "Anyway, I didn't say you was a mind-reader, I said you was eerily intuitive, an' possibly a walkin' polygraph 'cause fuck all if I can ever get anythin' past your perceptive peepers, Miss Maryam."  
t  
"That's a rather just assessment, isn't it? Seems like I'm the only one who ever knows anything." Kanaya helped herself to some naan with her bare hands.

"Yeah well, can it really be any wonder I'm always harkenin' to you for advice? When you got Julia Child on your doorstep, you don't settle for fuckin' Burger King." He pulled a bottle of water out of the bag and uncapped it, taking a drink, before picking up his fork and gesturing with it, "I keep botherin' you on account a you're simply the best."

Kanaya nodded with a demure smile, "You flatter me. Almost a little too much. Almost as though you're asking for something without asking."

"Wellllll..." He shrugged, picking at his saag, "Now as you mention it, I suppose there are a couple a things I'd like your thoughts on, if you don't mind." Without waiting for her to agree or deny, he launched into half-rehearsed exposition. "Okay so, you know that guy I been fuckin’ ain't exactly been forthcomin' with his presence as a late; scarcely seen the bastard all week. Every hour he ain't in class he's in that room a his bangin' away at his laptop an' occasionally yellin', an' I just KNOW he ain't workin' classwork all that time. Guy gives no fucks whatsoever, so I'm feelin' a li'l put out. I mean, a whole fuckin' week without surfacin'? Ain't healthy. He ain't comin' out for meals or anythin'...Tuesday I done the respectable thing an' left a tribute a vendin' machine victuals an' energy drinks just so I could gauge whether or not he's still eatin' human food or he joined the ranks a the livin' dead."

Kanaya had tuned out once the ranting began, having no intention of being taken for a ride, "I'm beginning to suspect this relationship is merely fodder for your melodramatic tendencies."

Eridan put his hand to his chest, looking to her with plaintive eyes, "MY melodramatic tendencies? MINE? Yesterday I invited the shithead for a decent dinner out a the goodness a my generous heart, an' you know what I got for my trouble? Dead silence an' nary a peep through the door, but this slid under the bathroom door." He pulled out his wallet and handed her a folded-over index card. “Sol’s just a straight-up asshole an’ some times I don’t even know why I bother tryin’.”

“We are no longer even keeping up the pretense of keeping the mystery, are we?” Kanaya replied, accepting the card. She unfolded it to find _ro2e2 are red, viiolet2 are blue, fuck off, go away, nobody liike2 you_ written in sloppy penmanship. Smirking, she mused out loud, "He does have the strangest writing quirk, doesn't he? Is that because of his lisp or does he just have a proclivity to write his dominant letters facing the left?"

"Dunno, think he's ambidextrous so maybe," Eridan shrugged, "Anyway, that ain't the point. So, today, despite me spendin' the last week tryin' to be a supportive friend like the generous manner a fucker I am, I do a photoshoot with his li'l ladyfriend--class dame, by the way, you'd like her--an' turns out he ain't said one word to her!" He drooped visibly, poking his fork weakly into his rice, "Sex aside, he ain't said one kind word a me to his oldest an' dearest; it's like I don't even matter."

"Do you want to matter?" Kanaya asked simply, fiddling with one of the edges of the card with her thumb as she ate her curry.

"Doesn't everybody?" he shrugged, and thoughtfully chewed a mouthful, finally going quiet.

The two ate in silence for a moment before Kanaya spoke. "Not many people who are 'just fucking' somebody want to be more than just that. Sometimes people just aren't compatible outside of the bedroom, sometimes people just get on each other's nerves due to their personalities clashing or maybe they just don't regard the other's feelings." She paused and looked towards Eridan, "Not that there's anything _wrong_ with that, it happens." She looked back down and shrugged, "So you've been in this situation before; the whole 'one night only shagfest' so to speak, this is clearly something different if you're so intent on making sure everyone knows about you and he."

Eridan leaned back, one palm flat against the bench, and swirled his water bottle, "It ain't that exactly. There's a difference between wantin' everyone knowin' which I _don't,_ an' just not wantin' to feel like he's ashamed a me." He leaned his head back, staring at the greenhouse ceiling, looking every bit the pensive artist, "I dunno, Kan. Is it too much to want to be on pleasant terms with someone you're fuckin'? Maybe I ain't exactly the courtin' type but I don't think I'm out a line here."

Kanaya looked up toward the misty ceiling and sighed, "This might just be how he considers a content and casual situation. Maybe even a friendly one. He communicates with you, doesn't he?"

"With the exception a this past week, yeah. Fuck, I'd got to thinkin' we was even gettin' close! But the last seven days, the only communication I got out a him was that li'l note there," he reached over and took the index card back, placing it back in his wallet, "an' a muffled affirmative when I invited him to drink with us Sunday." 

"It is conceivable that he is merely busy with schoolwork. He does his work, doesn't he? He gives you the bare minimum for communication and he's studious, that would explain a lot, wouldn't it?" Kanaya served herself more of her curry, "Look, why don't you just ask him yourself?"

"He'd think I was whiny an' clingy." 

"You _are_ being whiny and clingy. Also, redirecting your issues at your innocent friend with ulterior motives to whine and cling respectively."

He simply sulked and stabbed at his food, muttering. "...It ain't that I'm not genuinely concerned for his welfare, I mean you seen how he handles himself. Maybe I am a bit too attached for my own good but it ain't like I'm wholly self-servin' here..."

Kanaya sighed through her nose. "I can see you mean well, Eridan. I'm just not one hundred percent certain what to tell you to do at present. I'd suggest either give him space or knock down his door and demand an explanation, but I don't even know him well enough to presume which course of action would be best."

He gave a weak smile and patted her shoulder, warmly, "Just listenin' is somethin'. He was goin' out to dinner with Ar tonight, so I'm guessin' his sequester is over. If I can't wrangle him out a his room tomorrow, at the very least we'll see him over drinks on Sunday, an' we oughtta be able to check him for a pulse then, right?"

“Yes. Yes you will." Kanaya replied, scraping the sides of her plate for more sauce.

Eridan picked at a piece of naan, and sat up, giving her an apologetic look, "Sorry about that, Kan, I'm yammerin' your ears off. What's new in your quarter?"  
She raised an eyebrow at him, "Oh nothing. I mean I have little in the way of romantic drama so therefore of little interest to those who also have no interest in botany."

"Well, soon as some pretty li'l lady gets caught in your crosshairs, she's goin' to be one lucky dame an' I'll be glad to see you finally gettin' some long overdue attentions." He served himself a little more saag, "I ain't heard a peep about any new designs in some time. Everythin' okay on that front?"

"I haven't been able to focus on much more than my schoolwork. Knowing my luck, I'll forget all my inspiration by the time I can actually cobble something together."

"Nah, that kind a brilliance don't stay down for long. Two weeks into winter vacation, you'll be callin' me up to photograph your latest masterpieces, I got no doubt a that."

"Now you are definitely flattering me." Kanaya shook her head with a humorless grin.

"I most certainly am not," he protested, "An' I halfways resent the insinuation. Why, not the other day I was wearin' one a those vests you done up for me, an' it looked as fantastic on me as it did the day you laid up the final stitch."

"That's good to hear, I trust you've been taking care of the stitches and being careful with the laundry." She then took out her phone and made a note of the time, "Do you mind if I get going soon? I still need to put my things away."

"What? Oh! Oh, sure, here, lemme pack this up for you." Eridan scooped some of the remaining rice into his own take-away box and began to pack the rest up in the bag for Kanaya. "Here, take the rest. It ain't like Sol's goin' to want any, an' anyway I got the lot for you."

"Which was an incredibly generous gesture on your part." Kanaya smiled as she accepted the remaining take-out.

He buttoned up his coat and picked up his box, and gave a gracious bow. "Fittin' that I bring a gift to see a guru. Hey, we're still on for Sunday, right? I don't think Kar's comin'."  
Kanaya, who had not taken off her coat during the meal, stood and brushed herself off, "Yes, I'll be there as usual. Perhaps by then I'll have located a cookie I can properly deliver to you."

Eridan gave her a quizzical look as he held the door for her.

"A token that hopefully expresses that I truly believed you tried."

“The proof is in the pudding. Or the curry it would seem.” Kanaya then walked out the door with a wry grin, pushing the elevator door.


	18. Sollux: See double

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Feferi's true colors shine and so do Eridan's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Epi's back online and we hope you enjoy this chapter!

"There she was, wearing this dress that covered waaaaay less than anything you can properly call a dress covers, and she gives Kanaya all this hassle about not being bold enough in her designs, right? So she's turning around to leave, and Kanaya, ooooh, she had the maddest face! But this wench turns to leave and while she's flipping her hair behind her, her stiletto heel breaks and she trips, flailing all over, and one of her straps snags on a chair, and boom! Ripping noise, and she's on the floor, butt in the air, her dress is torn open and she’s in nothing but baggy old granny panties. Hahahaha!" Feferi howled, her laughter echoing through the abandoned theater, joined by Sollux’s and even Eridan’s begrudging chuckles. The four had come together on the appointed evening for another drinking party, though Kanaya had relayed Karkat’s condolences for having to miss the festivities due to a particularly nitpicky coding project.

Kanaya sat with her legs crossed daintily with a victorious smirk; her glass raised, "Karma is a wonderfully unmerciful force."

Sollux, half-through his second bottle of mead, shook his head. "FF, you make me incredibly glad I don't need to forcibly subject myself to shit like that. And here I thought I had a major full of stupid people."

"Nobody has a monopoly on them, silly!" Feferi giggled, dropping down to a conspiratorial whisper "They're everywhere..."

"Shit, they've invaded!" Sollux spun dramatically and faced Eridan with a horrified expression.

The weekend had done little to ease Eridan’s irritations with the geek, and he gave Sollux a look over his glasses. "Yeah, look, you been found out. Oh, we're wise to your game, Sol, dumbin' up the place."

Oblivious to Eridan’s extra irritation, Sollux gestured with the hand holding his drink, "Don't redirect this back at me. I'm privy to your mind games!" 

Kanaya shook her head, gesturing to Sollux, "He really is a lightweight."

"The lightest," Feferi agreed.

"Careful, Fef, he's takin' your title," Eridan smirked as Sollux pouted.

"He can have it" she replied with a shrug.

Sollux slumped backwards in his seat, "Damn it, why do you guys think I'm that drunk? I'm really not! Does it not resonate that maybe I can just sort of let loose around you guys? Maybe?" 

Kanaya swirled her drink, "I find it unsafe to let your guard down around those two."

"This ain’t ‘loose,’ Sol, this is two hairs away from fuckin’ flaccid," shrugged Eridan, taking a small swig of the lager he’d been nursing. "An' you take that back, Kan. I ain't been anythin' other’n a gentleman."

Feferi meanwhile turned and laid back into Kanaya's lap.

"Now, Fef," Eridan continued, "I make no excuses for."

Sollux turned and looked at her, "Awww it's cute, she's like a kitty. A tiny drunken kitty."

Feferi stuck her tongue out first at Eridan, then at Sollux. "I'm just friendly, is all. Human touch is an important thing, or we'd all have porcupine quills or something. There's nothing wrong with pal-snuggling...now, is there, Kanny?”

"While I find your grasp of evolution amusing to say the least, I suppose I'm not opposed to this as long as you don't stain anything of mine," Kanaya replied as she idly stroked Feferi’s hair.

Sollux meanwhile was making slight catlike hand gestures at Feferi, half-teasing and half-playful.

Feferi giggled and pawed the air towards Sollux, "Mrow."

Sollux laughed and replied in kind, tilting his head slightly to try and mimic the angle of hers, "Mreowww."

Feferi rolled over, sprawled across Kanaya's lap, pawing towards Sollux, giggling. "Myaaaa."

Rolling his eyes, Eridan reached over and papped Feferi's ankle. "Fef, you're a fuckin’ lady; act like it."

She peered around at him, "Nuh-uh, I'm a drinkykitty right now, so I'm acting like that. Mew."

Sollux laughed at her little antics, a fond little chuckle that tweaked a strange bit of jealousy in Eridan, "So if I keep you on a steady diet of booze, can I just keep you like this?" he asked, before turning to Eridan and cocking an eyebrow, "Psch, she's plenty lady enough anyway, you dick."

Kanaya repressed a laugh, "Oh yes. Full of grace."

Feferi arched back, looking up at Kanaya, "Grace is for sober people."

Eridan huffed, and took another swig.

"Or the mildly intoxicated," Kanaya replied, kissing the tip of her nose. Feferi grinned and sat up to kiss Kanaya's nose in return, and Kanaya chuckled lowly, tipping Feferi's chin up just a little, "Cute little thing..." Sollux's eyes widened at the sight, shifting his legs slightly to get more comfortable.

Eridan rolled his eyes, and Feferi reached for her mead, polishing it off. She crawled on hands and knees around Kanaya and wedged herself between Sollux and the cooler, fishing herself another mead. "Tasty tasty tasty booze."

Kanaya straightened her skirt from where Feferi had lain, "You're going to make a nice trophy wife someday, you certainly drink like a fish."

"Do fish actually drink?” Feferi mused, “Gosh, I hope not. They live in the ocean which is where they and all their little fish-buddies pee. Actually, do fish pee?” She turned to Eridan, seemingly genuinely concerned, “Eridan, do fish pee?"

"Don't know, an' frankly I'd rather not think about it," Eridan shrugged.

Sollux replied with a nod, "Yes, fish pee in the ocean. Also sperm whales use their shit as a smoke screen to elude capture."

Feferi blinked, shuddered, and changed the subject, gesturing with her bottle. "Anyway! I don't know that I'd make a terribly good trophy wife, either, or that I'd want to be! Trophies are things you collect. Oooh, but having my own trophy harem, that sounds like fun!"

Kanaya smiled, "So do you want to collect trophies or trophy husbands? Or wives?"

"Yes. Well, I don't care that much about trophies themselves. But a harem sounds like fun!" she chirped.

"Just like in the animes. Gotta make sure the guys are completely unaware that you're secretly making them compete for your affections or it's all null." Sollux gestured vaguely in her direction.

Feferi shook her head, "What? No, no, no, I mean a harem, not a harem anime. You know, a bunch of sexy people up for pampering me whenever I want, lounging around on cushions or something and wearing clothing that's mostly see-through. Oh, and if they can fan me with those big fans with feathers? Yeah, that's the ticket."

Sollux just stared at her, then Eridan in confusion, then looked down at his own clothes.

Eridan chuckled and raised his bottle to her, "You never was one for thinkin' small."

Kanaya leaned forward, "Honestly. It's always something with her. Either 'world peace for all' or 'enslave all the men for my needs.'"

"Hey, it's not wrong if they WANT to be slaves, is it? And I wouldn't want them if they weren't willing anyway," Feferi scowled. "Just for that, I might not let you play with any of my harem wives. So nyeeeeh."

"And lo I shall cry myself to sleep every night for not allowing me to fondle your sloppiest of seconds."

Through his pleasant booze-buzz, Sollux tuned out and began to hum something, nodding his head and looking up at the ceiling, not quite paying attention.

Feferi poked Sollux in the side, leaning on him, "I'm sorry, are we boring you?"

Sollux jumped a bit, having almost forgotten how close she was. He also suddenly noticed the smell of strawberry hand lotion. "Oh! Oh, no." He then turned it around as he slapped on a smirk, "Why? Do you want my attention?"

"Fef always wants attention," muttered Eridan.

"What's wrong with that? Besides, Sollux's attention is nice, even if it seems short lived," Feferi giggled, leaning against him. "Oooh, you're warm."

Eridan rolled his eyes at her. Honestly, if it had been anyone else on Sollux like that, he might have been a little irate, but he also knew that Feferi was nothing if not a social flirt, and he had come to terms with it long ago.

Sollux laughed, leaning his head on top of her shoulder and catching a whiff of her hair, "I tend to run kind of hot, high metabolism and everything."

"Lucky." Kanaya pointed, "That means you can eat basically anything and suffer few consequences."

Feferi draped an arm around Sollux. "You're like a snarky space heater. We can rent you out during the winter, and you can warm up people's houses by just standing in the corner for a little while."

Sollux blushed just a bit, cautiously sliding his arm around her waist, "So I have to heat multiple houses at once? Sounds like a lot of work, what would I be getting paid?"

"Meh, there's weirder business plans out there, I'm sure. But I guess...I don't know how much it costs to rent a space heater, really. Though, we could probably charge more if we dress you up."

"Wait, I don't like where this is going…"

Eridan quirked a brow, pictures of various potential costumes Sollux might wear to "attract business" as a space heater appearing unbidden in his mind. _No, fuck that,_ Eridan decided, Sollux would be better as a bed-warmer. _Wait, no,_ he was supposed to be angry at Sollux.

"I don't do well with people, so I guess I'd have to trust you to get the business. I'm just the inside man," Sollux smirked.

"As a general rule, we don't take Fef's drunken suggestions too seriously, Sol--" Eridan began, as Feferi hummed and smiled.

"Warrrrrm," she purred.

Sollux looked around, slightly flustered, allowing his arm to squeeze her a little, "So're you." 

Kanaya couldn't help but laugh a bit, "He must be."

"He is! Come and snuggle him! He is the toastiest," Feferi grinned, waving Kanaya over.

Kanaya gave Eridan a pointed look, "I think I'll pass. I find it plenty and pleasantly warm where I sit."

"How about you, Eridan? Join the warm and toasty snuggle pile?" Feferi looked up, "You wouldn't mind, would you? You've got a whole other side I'm barely even touching."

The accidental entendre was not lost on Sollux, despite the booze, as he glanced over at Eridan before turning his attention back to Feferi.

Eridan cleared his throat, "Fef, you got no notion on how far is too far, do you?"

Sollux waved his free hand, "It's ok, she smells pretty. Plus Aradia's the only girl who ever touches me. I think I repel women."

"Clearly this is a disproven theory," Feferi said, matter-of-factly as she sprawled in his lap. "One genuine girly-girl, completely non-repelled."

_Aradia._ Eridan thought back to his recent model. "Right, that girl-buddy a yours, I done a shoot for her the other day. Seems like a right proper dame. How the pair a you got on I’m sure I’ll never know."

"Yeah, she's my best friend. Kinda like you guys." Sollux gestured between Feferi and Eridan.

Kanaya piped in, "I can imagine the parallels between you two. I suppose she’s nothing like you, right?"

Sollux nodded in agreement, "Pretty much. Doesn’t understand computers for shit and loves history and bones and dead things. She works at that coffee place near here. Got way passionate about coffee beans and everything." 

Kanaya thought about this for a moment, as though making a note of it.

Eridan pondered over another sip of lager, allowing his irritation to melt for the time being... _Sollux insisted he wasn't gay, so he probably never kissed a guy, right? So if he..._ "So you sayin you never kissed a girl, did you Sol?" he asked, an eyebrow quirked; Sollux had been a complete newbie before Eridan had gotten his hooks into him, he remembered all too well, but it only now dawned on him just _how_ new.

Sollux's eyes widened once again, feeling all eyes on him as he sort of cleared his throat, "Uh, no. I repel women. Weren’t you listening?" What the hell was Eridan trying to do to him? 

And why was that asshole looking so smug all of a sudden?

Kanaya winced, "That's quite unfortunate."

Sollux continued, defensively, "I went to school for school purposes, I never tried dating anyone. Mostly wasn't interested."

"No girl-smooches? I can help!" Feferi sat up and quickly wrapped her arms around Sollux, pressing her lips to his, his lips tasting of the same mead they both had been drinking.

Sollux internally panicked, _oh god oh god oh god,_ his mind reeled. What the hell did he do? Eridan was right there not two yards away, this was weird on so many levels but _holy shit her lips were soft and she smelled so good,_ he gradually relaxed into the kiss, not sure whether or not it was wise to kiss back, but beginning to anyway.

Feferi smiled into the kiss, feeling him relax, savoring the sweetness of his lips and the warmth of his chest. She could almost feel the daggers Eridan was glaring at her back, but she continued undeterred. _You want him, Eridan? Good, maybe this’ll teach you that good things happen to those who aren’t afraid to act. Meanwhile: tasty, tasty, boozy lips. ___

__Sollux let out a soft groan against her mouth, parting his lips and kissing back with the same energy that she was. He teased her lower lip with his tongue, pulse racing and his hands resting at the small of her back._ _

__Kanaya was fully entertained by this development, "So how are things with you, Eridan?" she asked, conversationally, egging him on just a tad._ _

__Meanwhile, Eridan balked, a quiet fury beginning to flush through him as he watched the scene before him, adding injury to insult, his patience already frayed by the bicolored bastard._ _

__Feferi giggled into the kiss, enjoying this turn of events just as well. She let her tongue flick against Sollux's, and began to suck on his lower lip, softly. Somewhere it registered that this probably wasn't his first kiss ever...oh. _Oh._ So maybe Eridan had made a move, after all. Twin pangs of uncertainty and guilt struck her, and Feferi pulled her lips away, clearing her throat, "So, yeah, you can't call yourself girl-repellent anymore."_ _

__Sollux looked somewhere between longing and surprised, licking his lips as he eyes darted about, "Yeah, good to know... although I doubt one girl's affections really count for the entire gender." He looked over at Eridan for a second before acting like he hadn't, checking back at Kanaya._ _

__"That's a good point,” Kanaya replied, before adding teasingly, “Maybe she's your soulmate."_ _

__Feferi kissed Sollux's cheek. "I don't know about soulmate, but whoever you end up with is going to be very lucky." She looked over to Eridan, a palpable fury surrounding him. She crawled over and stood, pulling him up by his wrist. "I know that look, you're going to give me a lecture about being unladylike. Come on, let's get it over with."_ _

__Eridan stomped behind her until they were far enough away to not be heard, their backs turned to their two friends. Before he could say anything, Feferi was already apologizing, quietly, "Eridan, I'm so sorry...I didn't realize you had already gone for it..."_ _

__"W-what? What do you mean, gone for--"_ _

__"Okay, fine, don't tell me anything. But, you're mad I kissed him, and...I'm sorry. I didn't know it would piss you off this much, if at all, really."_ _

__Eridan sighed, deflating. She really hadn't known, how could she? Sollux, on the other hand...Eridan wrapped an arm around Feferi's shoulders, bumping his temple against hers, "I--yeah. Okay. 'Pology accepted." Feferi kissed his cheek, and he grumbled, "You're still too much a flirt for your own good."_ _

__Eridan turned, arm around Feferi, and together they walked back to the other two. "Maybe we should call it a night, guys," Feferi offered once they were near once more._ _

__Kanaya nodded knowingly, "All right, I have things I need to get to anyway. Thankfully I'm not entirely out of it."_ _

__Sollux meanwhile emptied his mead, somewhat confused as to what had just transpired. Without complaint or argument, he stood up, doing his best to not fall back over. He looked at Feferi for a moment with a slight grin, "Sure, thanks for not being repelled for me for a while."_ _

__She smiled softly, "You're too hard on yourself. Night, guys."_ _

__Eridan watched the ladies go as he cleaned up. He didn’t even wait for Sollux to help, instead dragging the cooler up the stairs himself, furious, but refusing to look at him. Not yet._ _

__By the time Sollux had realized where Eridan went, he was almost out the door. He groaned and bounded up the stairs after him. _Great, spoiled dramatic asshole,_ of course he was going to be mad at about his friend kissing him. He wasn't quite buzzed enough to start anything conversation-wise, keeping the silence until they reached the recycling bin._ _

__Eridan poured out the rest of the unfinished drinks, then resumed walking briskly, the cooler bumping behind him. He said little as he carried on his post-drinking routine of dumping out the ice and recycling the bottles, though it occurred to him, he hadn't done this in quiet, or in anger, since the first time he'd brought Sollux along. Truth told? Even he was uncomfortable with the silence...shit, when had he gotten so used to Sollux's stupid lisping chattering? He sighed, still silent as he dragged the cooler to the dorm, the object of his afflictions silent behind him all the way._ _

__Eridan least allowed his usual tradition of holding the dormitory door for Sollux, though it was more out of habit than anything else. Finally he croaked, "C'mon. An' get the elevator, will you?"_ _

__Sollux stabbed the elevator button and then blurted out quietly, "Are you mad because she kissed me or something? Because I didn't start it, she did."_ _

__"Yeah, but she didn' know we had a thing. You did," he grumbled, hushed. "When we get back to the room, okay?"_ _

__"Wait, a thing?" Sollux's voice was louder this time as he faced him, "You consider this 'a thing'? I can't do anything without your fucking consent? That's a load of shit."_ _

__The elevator chimed, and Eridan pulled him inside, opened his mouth to speak, then grabbed the cooler and dragged it in the elevator. He turned back to Sollux, "The start a bein' a thing, then. C'mon, Sol...look, you liked what I done to you, didn' you? 'Cuz I sure as fuck liked what you been doin’ right back, an' I got the notion we both got a lot more to be had, okay."_ _

__"Look, I thought you were smart enough that I wouldn't have to have this conversation but I'm not being your fucking boyfriend. I can barely put up with you when you steal my wifi and take forever in the fucking bathroom. Also the part where this is just fucking. I'm not a faggot."_ _

__"Neither am I!" Eridan barked, as the elevator opened again. Eridan dragged the cooler with one hand, and Sollux's shirt with the other, towards his room. "Let's do this in private, okay Sol?"_ _

__Sollux rolled his eyes as he followed, "Oh right. So not gay, you're dragging me down a fucking hallway because oh no, I kissed a girl and I liked it."_ _

__"You live in this direction too, asshole." Eridan dropped the cooler long enough to get his keys and unlock the door. He pulled both uncooperative loads into his room; one of the two he let go, and the other he looked in the eye. "Sol, I ain't got anythin' against you likin' chicks, an' fuck all if Fef ain't easy on the eyes, okay, but I got you in my clutches, an' I ain't about to let you go."_ _

__He continued, eyes narrowing as he stared Sollux down and drew him closer. "An' I don' think you mind too much, either. I think you been lovin' what I offer so far, an' you're gonna fuckin' ache for what else I got for you. Ain't that right, Sol? You're gonna want what I can give you, you already fuckin' do, but you're gonna want it so much more..."_ _

__Sollux swallowed. Normal, douchey Eridan, he could handle, but now there was a fire in the aristo’s eyes that made Sollux feel like…like meat. Like Eridan wanted to consume him whole, and leave no scraps behind. The intensity of Eridan's voice and stare were causing his skin to flush; deeper than it had earlier and more than he'd care to admit. He blinked behind his sunglasses and Eridan couldn't help but notice that in spite of his agitated expression, Sollux wasn't pulling away, "Psch, you're the one who's a fucking possessive addict..."_ _

__Eridan smirked, tugging Sollux just a little closer, his voice smooth as smoked glass. "Maybe. Fact is, I want you. I want you now, an' seein' as I got you, I got a mind to be keepin' you; you an' this hot li'l body a yours. An' I'd wager a blow that you want what you know I'm willin' to give you, am I right?"_ _

__"Can't tell me what to do." Sollux's voice miraculously remained quite steady as he stared at Eridan's lips, his eyes narrowing as he subconsciously leaned in closer. He couldn't place the scent, not one of colognes or frilly scented shampoos, but there was just something in Eridan’s own essential scent that drew him in. His lips parted just the slightest bit._ _

__"Oh, I think I can. Secret is tellin' you to do what we both want." Eridan kissed Sollux, pressing against him, his hands finding their way to Sollux's ass._ _

__Sollux made a sound completely unlike any he had made while kissing Feferi, perhaps only because he didn't have to hold back with Eridan, perhaps not. There didn't seem to be a thing he could do that would chase off Eridan in the heat of the moment. His hands rested against the front of Eridan's shoulders, not quite holding onto him, but at least gripping his shirt in his fingers. His mouth opened easily; still tasting sweet of alcohol._ _

__Eridan sampled his flavor, running his tongue along the orbit of Sollux's lips, as he pressed closer yet, gently guiding Sollux backwards._ _

__Sollux hesitantly followed Eridan's steps, pulling their mouths apart for a second just to gasp breathlessly; seemingly nervous as he swallowed._ _

__Eridan smirked, "See, now, if I was to tell you to do that again, or to lay down on my bed, or to strip down so we can get some fuckin' done...then I WOULD be tellin' you what to do, an' you'd be happy to go along with it, because you want it just as much as I do. Right? An' I got no cause to be denyin' either a us."_ _

__"Oh my god, ED, just shut the fuck up already." Sollux grabbed Eridan's hair and bit at his neck, sucking the flesh quickly just as a means to get his weirdly intoxicating voice out of his ears._ _

__Eridan groaned, gripping Sollux's ass firmly, murmuring into Sollux’s ear. "Ahh, Sol, but you don't want me shuttin' up, do you? You can't get enough a me yappin' away...fuck, you'd cream your pants if I read the phone book the right way. Nah, Sol, you're too hot when you get worked up, an' I mean to work you good." He pushed Sollux back towards the bed. "Strip. I got plans an' pants ain't invited to this party."_ _

__Sollux crumpled up against Eridan's body for just a second as his breath caught in his chest. He pulled back, glared viciously, but nonetheless pulled his jeans and boxers down._ _

__Eridan quickly shed his scarf and shirt, kicking off his pants and underwear with little ceremony. "I know you're eager, Sol, but let's lose the shirt, too..." He laid his hands on Sollux's thighs, sliding them slowly up, over his hips, past his narrow waist, and over his ribs, pulling the shirt up as he went._ _

__Sollux offered a scowl that softened as Eridan's hands slid up his body, making his breath come quicker, teasing the sensitive flesh and making him barely bite back a moan as he shut his eyes and turned his head away from Eridan, "Shit, Eridan..." His cock was already more than half hard, thighs pushed together as his fingers clung to the bed beneath him._ _

__Eridan pulled Sollux's shirt off him, climbing over him. "You're wantin' this, ain't you? You want my hands on that cock a yours? You want to feel my touch? Fuck, I know I want to feel you..."_ _

__Sollux swiftly pulled Eridan close to him, mouth open as he mashed their lips together in a sloppy kiss. His tongue immediately slid out and traced the side of Eridan's mouth before diving in for a taste. He didn't fight the position at all, clearly he was in need._ _

__Eridan kissed him, hungrily, greedily, as he straddled Sollux's hips and palmed his partner's member, and Sollux openly groaned into Eridan's mouth once more, breathing heavily and pushing his hips up into Eridan's exploring hand, "Oh fuck yes..."_ _

__"I want to fuck you, Sol,” Eridan murmured into Sollux's ear. “You prob'ly know this. I want to fuck you so good you shoot your load so hard it leaves dents. How's that sound? You like that idea? You like the sound a bouncin' on my cock like your own personal joyride?"_ _

__Sollux's breath shuddered pleasantly against Eridan's ear, chest hitching and heart racing. Still he managed to chuckle, "Way to sound like a fucking pedo, you freak." Sollux's voice was deeper than he'd ever heard it until that point, but clearly not objecting in the slightest._ _

__Eridan ignored the insult, but couldn't escape the tone. He smirked, winding his fingers around Sollux's shaft and giving it a few good pumps. "You want my cock. You ain't said you don't, you stripped down right nice for me, an' you're gettin' harder by the second...you want it, Sol, admit it. Admit it an' it's all yours."_ _

__Sollux's back and neck tensed and arched in a way that let the shadows play across the hollow ridges of his collar bones and throat. He bit his lip, another rush of blood directed between his legs before he turned his head away from Eridan and groaned out quietly, almost inaudible between the sounds of their breathing, "Please come on and do it, fuck me..."_ _

__Eridan drew away, reaching for a bottle of lube from his nightstand, "You want it, you got it...turn around, let me see that ass."_ _

__Sollux did as Eridan said, more willing than before to obey. He turned around reluctantly exposing his ass to Eridan's stare as he bowed his head down in a seemingly demure way._ _

__“Now, let’s see…you never let me put anythin’ in here before, so I’m guessin’ you never bothered usin’ your own fingers, right?" he said, opening the bottle, beginning to slick up his fingers, before setting the bottle aside and laying his dry hand on Sollux's ass and pushing slightly to the side, parting him._ _

__Sollux shook his head breathlessly, heart pounding in anticipation, "N-No... does it hurt?" His voice was still quiet, relaying his nervousness._ _

__"It can, if you do it wrong, but I ain't about to do it wrong," he said, running a slicked finger along Sollux's crack, past his entrance. "I'm gonna get you lubed up an' stretched out. You can stop me if you want, but I don't think you're gonna want me to stop..." He dipped his finger in just lightly, testing him, finding him tight and nervous._ _

__Sollux's eyes opened wide as he gasped, groaning softly in discomfort at the intrusion as he squirmed, "Ow, ohh... ah..." The feeling was weird; he hadn't been sure what to expect. It definitely felt like a small penetration for sure, tighter than anything he could call comfortable, but there was something so nice about it, too._ _

__“Shhh, just breathe an’ relax an’ it’ll be easier.” Eridan stopped, letting Sollux get used to the finger, "You need me slowin' down? More lube? What? Tell me what's goin' on in there."_ _

__Sollux shook his head with a low growl, pushing his ass back with his knees spread, "Nnnng, no, keep going..."_ _

__Eridan gently worked his finger around, exploring inside of Sollux, letting him adjust to the feeling, his own wood standing long and proud. A sweet little virgin ass like Sollux's? That deserved all the time and patience that was needed, and Eridan had no intention to genuinely hurt his perving-partner._ _

__Sollux rolled his lower lip between his teeth, doing his best to keep his entrance open without clamping down. It was difficult, but he was trying his hardest to not cry out. He shifted his hips slightly as he choked out, "Hnnng.... d-deeper... isn't it supposed to, ah! Feel better if you go deeper?"_ _

__"Right you are, good boy..." Eridan chuckled. He pushed his finger in further, withdrawing to add a second one, sloppy-slick inside him. "You're gettin' into this, ain't you...fuck, I knew I'd love gettin' you bedded..."_ _

__Sollux gasped, eyes closed, feeling another finger join the first as they pushed against something inside him. The shock burned through him so quickly he couldn't even fight back the wail that tore out of him, his skin growing incredibly hot and flushed. He couldn't even respond in words to the dirty talk he was being fed._ _

__"Ahhh...that's it then, huh?" Eridan brushed against that spot again, and again, and again. "Fuck, you're gonna love this, once I get my cock in you...I can't promise you're gonna be able to walk right after this, Sol, but I can guarantee you ain't gonna want to walk away. Fuck, an' just look at this ass. Nobody been here before?” he cooed, knowing the answer full well. “Nobody got a eyeful of this gorgeous chunk a flesh? Look at you, that grand cock a yours just danglin' there, achin' for my touch, aren't you? You can't wait for me to get to work on your lovely dick...an' I will, fuckin' proper, don't you doubt that, but first things first, Sol, you're just gonna have to wait until I say you're good an' ready."_ _

__Sollux nodded and bucked back just slightly as he continued to breathe through the burning stretch his asshole was getting. His fingers gripped the blanket beneath him tightly, giving little regard to how his palms were falling asleep in that position. He leaned his head back to look over his shoulder at Eridan, glasses sliding just a bit down his nose._ _

__Eridan spread his fingers, lightly, gauging the resistance, looking Sollux in the eye. "How's that feel? Think you're ready for my sweet cock in you?"_ _

__"I d-don't know..." He panted, body shaking under Eridan's ministrations._ _

__Eridan worked his fingers more, slowly stretching him. "But this is feelin' good by now, ain't it Sol? An' ain't you just eager to get my nice thick cock in you, so we can put our hands to other use?"_ _

__A sound that Sollux claimed no ownership to broke free of his throat, "Hnnng oh damn yeah..." He dropped his head forward once again, the sound of his glasses hitting the bed audible to both boys._ _

__"I think you're about ready...you want it, Sol? You want it right now?"_ _

__Mind foggy with need, Sollux just surrendered, his body trembling as he nodded._ _

__Eridan smirked, "Then you better give my cock a li'l kiss before I stuff it in your ass." He withdrew his fingers and smacked Sollux on the butt cheek, startling him, then laid down on the bed, cradling the back of his head with his hands. "After you done that, climb on top an' ride me, an' you fuckin' face me, you got that? I want to see your face while you give me your ass cherry."_ _

__Sollux’s eyes widened just slightly at the mental imagery of what Eridan was demanding of him. As he looked at Eridan, he looked every inch of the smug asshole he knew he was, but Sollux couldn't find it in himself to refuse him. His eyes narrowed as he gave him a challenging smirk and laid the tiniest kiss on the head of his dick; their gazes still locked._ _

__"You can do better'n that, Sol. I know how wicked that pretty mouth a yours can get. Give it some propers, as thanks for the joy it's about to bring you."_ _

__"Don't push it or I'll bite it off." Sollux's breath fanned against the head, giving it a lascivious lick. His eyebrows furrowed as he tasted precome._ _

__Eridan shivered, sighing, not taking his eyes off his defiant dick of a fuckbuddy. "Good boy." He took up the bottle of lube and slicked up his member, giving himself a couple good tugs, before casting come-hither fingers to Sollux, "Okay, get on, take the time you need, just let's get you filled proper. An' like I said, let me watch you."_ _

__Sollux mounted Eridan's hips and looked down at him suggestively. He inhaled once and as he sank down, he gave a low whimper and a whine mixed together with the head pierced through. He began to pant, desperately trying to keep himself from clenching painfully._ _

__Eridan laid his hands on Sollux's thighs, giving them a reassuring rub, "Take your time, Sol, I ain't happy to see my fav'rit toy break, heh. No, I want you enjoyin' this, because fuck if I'm gonna ever not want to do this again. You take your time an' get me good an' in you, like the good boy you are, an' you go at your pace. You're goin’ to ride me like the devil, but not until you get ready for it, you hear me?"_ _

__Sollux looked up for just a second, nodding quickly before he slowly sank down onto the cock beneath him. He was hissing through his teeth and breathing faster; faster as he was filled. He felt so much bigger like this, stretching him, making him groan like that. He tried to take his time, but fuck it hurt, but it was hurting so good. It wasn't like anything he'd ever felt before, "Aaah... ow, ED..."_ _

__"You're doin' great, Sol...fuck, I knew you'd look beautiful on my cock, an' fuck if that ain't true. Take your time, just enjoy it, I don' want to break my new favorite fucktoy. No, I want my new fucktoy beggin' for more..." he said, his eyelids heavy with lust as he watched his partner, and he gently ran a knuckle along the underside of Sollux's cock. "You like me callin' you fucktoy? You like bein' my fucktoy? Because that's what you are now, Sol. You ain't just any fucktoy, though, Sol, 'cause you're fuckin' MINE."_ _

__The brush against his cock made Sollux twitch, entrance loosening from the delicious sensation. He grit his teeth and whimpered, having no other voice to dispute or verify Eridan's claim. Those words were incensing him, burning him up inside and prompting him to want to pull himself down nice and hard; he felt so fucking dirty right then._ _

__Sollux finally reached the base of Eridan's cock, leaning his head back and writhing, twisting his hips on the spot that felt just so fucking good inside him._ _

__Eridan smiled, watching Sollux squirm over him, "Good boy, Sol...you done good...you ready to get rewarded? You ready to get fucked? You're goin’ to have to do most a the work this time, next time I'll bend you over an' fuck you like a dog, but this time I don't want you breakin...ride me, Sol, go at your pace while I watch you, like the dirty, filthy, beautiful thing you are." He let his fingers circle Sollux's shaft at the base, and began to stroke him, gently._ _

__Sollux opened one blue eye before crying out, bucking his hips up and pushing back down on Eridan's cock again. His first thrust was awkward and sort of jerky, but the second went much smoother, causing him to lean his head back, eyes closed blissfully._ _

__Eridan shifted a little, rocking just slightly against Sollux, feeling his heat completely enveloping his dick, and he ran his fingers down to Sollux's thigh, rubbing it, as he continued to stroke Sollux's member, running his thumb around the head of it. "Oh merciful fuck that's hot, Sol..." He rocked, trying to hit that sweet spot again, his eyes locked on his beautiful new toy._ _

__Sollux gasped and moaned wantonly, licking his lips and biting down on the plump flesh. The slick, thick cock invaded him again and again, rubbing and teasing him in the most debauched way he could have ever imagined._ _

__Eridan groaned, beginning to pump Sollux's shaft, as he gripped his thigh, "Fuck but you feel good, Sol...an' you're enjoyin' it...there's no fakin' that, an' no coverin' it up...you're fallin' in fuckin' love with how my cock feels, ain't you? You want it for your very own, don't you?"_ _

__"Fuck you... AH!" Sollux had no will to argue with Eridan's claims, he couldn't contain himself as he continued to ride him. He was caught between Eridan’s fist and cock, torturing him in the best way, making him into a slave._ _

__"That's right, we're fuckin'. Keep goin' Sol, ride me, fuckin' ride me into the next goddamn state, just keep goin'...bounce on my cock like you ain't got nothin' else you know how to do, Sol..." he moaned, not lessening his ministrations of Sollux's length. Eridan watched Sollux, bouncing up and down on him, loving the feeling on the inside of him, and fuck if he wasn't making some hot faces, riding there like there was nothing else he could do, even if he tried. "Fuck me, Sol, fuck me with that sweet ass...FUCK...you feel so fuckin' perfect in there, you can't even get it how good you feel...keep goin' Sol, use me to fill up that hot, slick ass a yours until you can't take no more..."_ _

__Trying to retain balance on top of him, he leaned on his left hand as the right one teased his own nipples. Eridan's cock just slid deeper and deeper inside him until he simply just sat for a few solid seconds, moaning as his prostate throbbed against the head. His thighs tensed as he squirmed, "ED... Eridan..."_ _

__Eridan thrust up into Sollux, lightly, but still enough to feel and be felt, his hands pumping furiously at Sollux's shaft, as he groaned out, words failing him for the first time as he watched his partner._ _

__Sollux twisted and jolted himself, prostate throbbing still as he arched his back and cried out pathetically. Louder and louder he became until he spilled his seed all over Eridan's hands, pulsing in his hands as he squirmed. As his body relaxed, his entrance became easier to push into._ _

__Eridan grinned, watching Sollux spurt and splatter, and he began to buck up into Sollux, hard and fast, slick and sliding in him, growling out his name._ _

__Sollux's eyes were shut, body oversensitive from his orgasm and making his thrusts even easier, "Nnnnn oh god, that feels so good..." He forced Eridan's hands up to rub his chest._ _

__Eridan bucked and rocked inside of Sollux through his climax, pounding up as much as he could, his hands busying themselves across Sollux's ribs, one hand finding a nipple and pinching it, as he came close to his own edge, "Fuck Sol, just...everything is so fuckin' perfect, I'm gonna come any second...FUCK. So good....Sol, Sol....oh, fuck, SOLLUX!" He scratched his nails down Sollux's chest as he came, shooting his seed into his partner, his back arched and his eyes screwed shut as he screamed, screamed his partner's full name._ _

__Sollux rode out the remains of Eridan's orgasm, honestly a little surprised to find that he loved the feel of Eridan's cock throb like that inside him. He spread his legs and ground down as hard as he could, hissing and groaning at those scratches, "Shit Eridan... ah...."_ _

__Eridan panted, tapering off, mind all a blur, as he pulled Sollux down to him, kissing him, his hand cradling the back of his neck, their lips mashing and rubbing against one another's. Sollux moaned, thoroughly spent in the most amazing way possible, perfectly content with Eridan still inside him._ _

__Between wet little kisses, Eridan managed to sound out a few coherent words, "Good...boy...Sol."_ _

__Sollux snorted a chuckle as his lips brushed Eridan's, "Not your fucking pet, you dick."_ _

__Eridan chuckled, "Fuck Sol, ain't you though?"_ _

__Sollux refused to answer, instead choosing to bite Eridan's lower lip and suck hard, almost painfully, between his full, flushed lips._ _

__Eridan groaned at the sensation, retaliating by means of a firm, stinging slap against Sollux's ass._ _

__Sollux grunted and pulled back, releasing Eridan's mouth only to breathe out hotly onto his mouth; his mismatched eyes smoldering between lusty contentment and annoyance._ _

__Eridan licked Sollux's lips, "My pet, my fucktoy, my fuckin' gorgeous Sol."_ _

__"Cocky, smug shithead you are..." Sollux muttered, offering his tongue and engaging his in another kiss. Avoidance was just so Sollux._ _

__Eridan just kissed back, hands comfortably cupping Sollux's rear. Sollux was his, no matter what the man tried to say about it. Sollux was now the wanton, needy property of one cocky, smug, thoroughly-satisfied asshole._ _

__"Well then oh master, can I put my fucking clothes on yet or am I just supposed to be naked forever?" He nipped at Eridan's lower lip again._ _

__He grinned, smacking Sollux's ass again. "Clean me up, and do whatever the fuck you want. Not that I mind you bein' naked, but I might jump you before you're up for a second round, and we can't have that, can we?"_ _

__"So much fuckin' restraint you have, I swear." Sollux dropped Eridan's shirt beside him unceremoniously._ _

__"Nah, Sol...you got your spooge on my stomach, an' you should take responsibility for that. In fact, I think you should lick it up, mostly on account a that bein’ hotter'n fuckin' hell."_ _

__A challenge? Fine. Sollux leaned himself back, letting the softening cock pull out before leaning down somewhat. His tongue peeked out and dabbed at the seed on his stomach. After the quick dab, he actually licked with his entire tongue, eyes closed._ _

__A soft "fuck..." escaped Eridan as he watched. "Freaky, Sol. I'm gonna fuckin' love doin' you, all the goddamn time."_ _

__Sollux leaned down, grabbed his shirt and spat into it, making a face, "Blech, fucking gross as hell, ED." It was then he realized that a tiny trickle of the semen that had shot up into him was leaking and running back the back of his legs, "Oh, goddammit..."_ _

__Eridan waved his hand, "Don't worry about it, Sol, it'll wash out fine. I just wanted to watch you do that. C'mon, get your ass in the shower, we both need cleanin'."_ _

__"You want to shower with me?" Sollux cocked his head at Eridan once more. He stood up, only to trip somewhat and grab himself on the edge of Eridan's bed._ _

__Eridan rocked himself to a sitting position, before standing and helping Sollux back upright. "You got a better way to celebrate gettin' laid? Get goin' already an' get the water started, I'm right behind you."_ _

__Sollux rolled his eyes slightly, going into the bathroom and turning the shower on. He washed his hands off in the stream of rapidly warming water._ _

__Feeling satisfied and relaxed, all of the aggravation from the last few days lifted from his shoulders, Eridan washed his hands and left his glasses by the sink. He came behind Sollux and wrapping his arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. "That was fuckin' fantastic okay, just in case you hadn' got the picture there."_ _

__Surprised, Sollux startled slightly at the unexpected embrace, a warm shiver going down his spine at that kiss. He turned back toward Eridan slightly, a blue eye visible to Eridan._ _

__Eridan grinned, reaching across Sollux to test the water temperature with his wrist. "What's goin' on in that dirty mind a yours? What's goin' crazy behind those pretty li'l mismatched peepers?"_ _

__Sollux made no move to get away from Eridan, "Just that it's gonna be a tight fit with the both of us in there."_ _

__"So much the better. More...intimate." Eridan kissed the nape of Sollux's neck, before pushing him into the shower. "Come on. We had our first proper fuckbuddy bickerin' in an' you got your ass invaded for the first time. This can't be the thing that gets weird for you."_ _

__The kiss made Sollux melt internally; it was very possible that Eridan must've mapped out the parts of him to kiss to make him lose it. Cheeky bastard, he thought, it shouldn’t feel this good to be in the arms of a domineering narcissistic asshole… As he was pushed, Sollux tugged Eridan in after him by the back of his neck. The hot water rained down around them, soaking Sollux's hair and dripping down his face. His hands ran through Eridan's hair before his arms settled around his neck, "It's not weird."_ _

__“Then what is it?” Eridan let his hands rest on the crests of Sollux's hips, brushing his lips against his partner's._ _

___God, he was so difficult!_ Sollux groaned nonetheless, he couldn't believe how good those hands felt though. He avoided the question by kissing Eridan, pushing their wet bodies together, gripping Eridan's dampening hair in his fingers._ _

__Eridan pressed back, pushing Sollux into the shower wall, his hands kneading the flesh of Sollux's hips, feeling the hot water streaming across them, the heat of Sollux's body and the heat of the shower taking up all of his touch receptors, distracted only by the sweet softness of Sollux's lips and the harsh jagged contrast of his teeth._ _

__This was the part that made Sollux stop thinking altogether. He was quickly becoming overheated from Eridan's mouth as well as the steam and heat from the shower. He was literally panting from the kiss, dragging his nails down Eridan's back as deep as he was able in his position, feeling himself growing hard again already._ _

__Eridan chuckled, slipping down to lick just below Sollux's jaw. "Yeah, I can figure out from here what's goin' on in that dirty mind...fuck, you're just lovin' this, ain't you? You can't get enough of me, can you?"_ _

__Sollux growled, arching his slender throat in spite of those words. He decided to compete with Eridan's taunts for the first time, "Ugh, neither can you, you want my ass so bad I can tell... Won't even let me clean myself because you want me dirty..."_ _

__Eridan paused, raising his head and looking Sollux square in the eyes, barely a breath separating their faces, his voice sincere and his eyes true, "You got it all wrong, Sol. I don't want your ass. I don't want your cock. I don't want you dirty. I want YOU."_ _

__Sollux's expression became devoid of its usual snark and sarcasm and stared in shock. His face grew incredibly flushed, not from the heat of the shower, but from the other man's intensity. He swallowed, fingers softening on Eridan’s back as he breathed out, "Wait, what?"_ _

__"I want you to squirm, Sol. I want to see you crawl an’ work for every last inch you get because you got to learn that not all things can be given away. Even if you think just saying you trust me is enough." Eridan continued, as he shifted his stance, letting one hand drop to the line between Sollux's hip and thigh, trailing a finger along it. "See, I want to fuckin' own you, Sol. I'm goin' to own you, heart an' soul an' body. I'm goin’ to make sure you got no need for anybody else, an' I'm goin’ to make you love me for every bit a it. An' then? Maybe then I'll be satisfied. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just keep workin' on you anyway for the sheer unadulterated fuck a it. But it's goin’ to happen, Sol. You're goin’ to be MINE."_ _

__Sollux shuddered under that hand and his eyelids drooped slightly, seemingly trying to close his eyes, but failing to, not wanting to take his eyes off Eridan's as he spoke. He breathed heatedly against his mouth, pressing back further against the shower wall, tilting his head back subconsciously._ _

__How had things gotten this fucking weird?_ _

__Eridan took the opportunity presented, biting down on Sollux's neck, as he pressed against the man, his own wood firming again against Sollux's thigh._ _

__Sollux moaned, running his hands through Eridan's wet hair and gripping tight. He pulled their bodies together tightly; Eridan could feel just how fast Sollux's heart raced under his ribcage._ _

__Eridan licked the bite, and pecked it sweetly, before raising up a little. "Hey, Sol," Eridan murmured in his ear, letting hs hands continue to wander, "Seems t'me that gettin' off once ain't goin’ to satisfy either a us tonight. Plus, I got me a mite a hunger, see...so I ask you, Sol, think you're up to a li'l more?"_ _

__"I think so." Sollux nodded dizzily, rubbing at the wet hair in his fingers. Another throb of blood went through his cock at those words, at that dirty voice so close to his sensitive ear._ _

__"Turn off the shower," Eridan directed, his voice only barely audible over the pitterpat against the stall walls. "I'm claimin' mine, an' I mean to get a right snack outta that tasty meat danglin’ down 'twixt your nethers." He grazed his fingers along Sollux's length, "You want that, Sol? You up for gettin' your dick sucked?"_ _

__"You always have to narrate the main event, don't you?" Sollux muttered as fumbling fingers only barely managed to follow his command._ _

__"You always like it." Eridan ran a hand over Sollux's thigh, water streaming down from his hair in thick rivulets. He dragged Sollux out of the shower and grabbed his glasses. "Back to the bed with you. Get." He smacked Sollux on the ass, half for emphasis, half simply because he had an excuse to do so._ _

__Sollux shivered from the sudden chill of the open air. His glistening form left leaving a damp trail on the floor, "Seriously? You're not even gonna let me dry off first 'oh master'?" His sarcasm was palpable, but ultimately forgivable, Eridan decided._ _

__"I wasn' aware you had a mind to wait so patiently for a blowjob, Sol," he said, following him, pushing him backwards onto the bed and climbing over him. "I could say how much I admire your restraint, but that'd just delay things further, an' I already ran out a patience, so s'cuse me while I take what's mine."_ _

__Sollux grunted as he was pushed back, but simply stared up at Eridan. He had already gotten to half-mast through Eridan's lustful words. A low groan emphasized his state as he rolled his hips up partway._ _

__Eridan towered over him, crashing his lips to Sollux's, nipping at his lower lip, as one hand worked across Sollux's chest, inching its way downward, from his ribcage, down along the length of his abdominal muscles. "Mine," he purred. "Got a good ring to it, don't it?"_ _

__Growing impatient with Eridan and his self-flattery, Sollux rolled his head back and shut his eyes, "God, whatever ED, just do it."_ _

__Clicking his tongue, Eridan traced one finger around the crest of Sollux's hipbone, following the path down his hip, landing just a little above the base of his cock. He pulled his lips away, "You got no sense a the finer things," he said, simply, backing up, before looking up. He continued backwards, crawling down Sollux's body, planting little kisses down his chest and belly, pausing to swirl his tongue around Sollux's belly button, just to tease him._ _

__Sollux's skin was prickled with goosebumps, even moreso by the shivers Eridan's touch was sending through his body. He made soft, needy groans as his breath came faster with anticipation, "Come on, come on, man..."_ _

__Eridan didn't even look up, as he walked his lips down from Sollux's navel to his pubic hair, and below. He breathed in the scent of him, heavy and heated, as his cheek grazed against Sollux's half-stiff member._ _

__Sollux tensed further, his cock twitching at the slick heat of Eridan's tongue. He enjoyed the warmth but not so much the pressure and strain of growing hard once more. Or was he? From what he could tell, he wasn't exactly getting harder than he already was. He could pretend anyway._ _

__Trailing his tongue over Sollux's member, Eridan looked up with a snort. "What's goin' on, Sol? Don't tell me you got whiskey dick..."_ _

__"I do not..." Sollux argued in spite of his body's obvious reaction, refusing to lift his head as his exhaustion steadily caught up with him._ _

__Eridan sat up with a frustrated grunt and palmed Sollux, grumbling a little. "Well somethin's keepin' you from raisin' the flag. Don't tell me you're done for already...shit."_ _

__Sollux groaned and limply let his folded arms fall over his shut eyes, "Jesus Christ shut up, it's been a long night! It’s not my fault you’re fucking insatiable!"_ _

__With a sigh and a half-smirk, Eridan settled in next to Sollux, curled up against his side with one arm draped over him. "Fuck it, I guess I can wait 'til the light a day before I fuck you ragged an' watch your eyes light like fireworks when I make you come screamin' my name." He chuckled and nudged Sollux's arm aside to give him a weak kiss. "Guessin' you had fun, all in all."_ _

__Sollux cracked a grin and laughed in return, admitting, "Yeah, A+. Would do again. You do talk a lot though man, anyone ever tell you that?"_ _

__"You do, any time I ain't stuffed your mouth with my cock. 'Sides, maybe if you weren't so obviously into it I'd pipe down, but you are, so I don't."_ _

__It occurred to Sollux that he should probably make his way to his own room. The sex was over, right? Staying with Eridan overnight would be too...not-friend-with-benefits. He attempted to steel himself to get up and wander back, but while the will was strong, the body was not, leaving him prone and silent beside Eridan, answering only with a long pause and an affectionate snort, and Eridan replied with a kiss, strangely sweet, rather than lustful._ _

__Sollux gave a fond little sound against his lips as they kissed. He realized just how weird that was, he was relaxed and kissing a guy like he was his fucking boyfriend. He pulled back, eyes darting about and anxious, "I'm not gay you know."_ _

__"Me neither, but look at all the shits I give. All I know is, you're hot, you're fun to fuck, an' you're mine now."_ _

__Sollux's expression relaxed into a snarky grin as he fell back and retorted, "Technically I never agreed I was 'all yours'." He made sure to lift his limp hands enough to make little air quotes._ _

__Eridan shrugged, smirking and rolling onto his back, as he locked his hands behind his head. "Ain't you, though? I ain't fuckin' what ain't either mine or on its way to bein' mine. So. Are you mine? Or are you done gettin' fucked by me?"_ _

__Sollux shut his eyes and sighed lightly, eyes closed again as he faced the ceiling, "I don't know. I mean, it's fucking complicated." His eyes shut tighter in frustration, having an inner battle with himself over the merits of 'Eridan's a douchebag' and 'Eridan's a hot, fun douchebag who likes you and your nerdy, weird ass for some reason'._ _

__Eridan sat up and reached for a blanket to cover the pair of them before rolling to his side, propping himself on one elbow. "I'm willin' to take 'not quite mine yet but gettin' there' as an option."_ _

__Sollux looked to the ceiling tiles of this room that wasn’t his for a few moments, before sitting up and ducking his head down, "I don't know, this is fucking weird and hard and I've never had to deal with another person before." He turned slightly to look over at Eridan, "Hate to admit you're fucking fun in bed though."_ _

__"Don’t I know it,” Eridan grinned. “An’ Sol, for the record? I don't care if you're gay or not, I don't care if you're a fuckin' martian. An, if it ain't been perfectly clear, I like fuckin' you, too. But this?" he gestured to both of them, two men, naked, spent, and more or less satisfied, "This, I could see workin'. Sexily. An' if you're game, I sure as fuck am."_ _

__Sollux fell back beside Eridan, a load seemingly lifted off his shoulders at least for the moment. He sighed contentedly with a slight nod._ _

__Eridan wrapped his arms around Sollux, laying back, pulling Sollux onto his chest. "Then we got a deal. One thing though, Sol. When we're goin’ at it, the sunglasses? Fuckin' verboten, you got that? Hide them pretty eyes from anybody else if you want, I got no problem with that, but when it's you an' me I want to see 'em. You're goin’ to let me see them pretty peepers you got hidden from the world."_ _

__Sollux jolted upward with a glare, but when he realized it was because Eridan wanted to see his eyes, he relaxed and laid back down, nestled against his douche of a partner._ _

__Eridan could feel Sollux's heart racing through his slender ribcage, "You're a fucking weirdo."_ _

__"Never said I wasn't, Sol," he chuckled, kissing into his hair._ _


	19. >Feferi: Politely Intrude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trials and tribulations of a poor, downtrodden lover after his friends put him through the ringer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epithimia: First of all, let me deeply apologize for the unplanned hiatus. Dyzzyah had many many busies upon her hands and could not come to the computer much to edit the chapter. We plan to be back on track for the next chapters. But I also have some news. Upon completion of this act, Dyzzyah and I will be hosting a tinychat with webcams because why not have some social interaction with the silly drama? As of right now, the date of said tinychat is unknown, but I wanted to at least get the word out. 
> 
> Also on tumblr I track the tags #Primary and Secondary and #Captors and Keepers, we love seeing your fanart and reblogs/comics. Much joy for all involved! Much thanks to zahhaked, caveofjuelz, and fantrola for your fanart and support~ If you'd like to follow me for updates, my tumblr is 3pithimia. Thanks for your attention!

As exams inched closer with each passing day, time for play and socializing seemed to grow harder and harder to come by. For one of these shared breaks, Kanaya had borrowed Karkat's console to play Dead Rising 2 while Karkat sat in Sollux's room on his laptop, yelling into Sollux's headset (also purloined), while Sollux sat on his bed and griped about his English homework.

Muffled by two sets of doors, a slammed door and an annoyed yet adorable snarl could be heard. Feferi threw open her door into the bathroom, stomped over to Kanaya's door, and knocked, "Kanaya? Can I come in?"

"Yes!" Kanaya announced into her headset, leading a confused Karkat to bark, "What? I'm right here, you don't have to yell!"

Kanaya responded, "I wasn't talking to you, Feferi just came in."

Karkat groaned, "Ugh, tell her you're busy! We've got a fuckton of zombies that aren't going to eviscerate themselves!"

"Should I notify her that you're now my master and mouthpiece?"

Feferi poked her head in before entering properly, spying on the headset. "Is that Karkat? Shake your head if it's Eridan. I need to talk to you and Karkat but I don't want to deal with Eridan right now."

Kanaya raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Feferi needs to talk to both of us."

"Me? What does she need me for?" Karkat sputtered, "Good fucking gracious, now I /know/ there's some weighty concern if your exalted consultation is not enough."

"Truly, you are a delight. I am sure that whatever distress she is under, she needs your gentle sympathies and tender words to restore her faith." Kanaya said to Karkat, "Also, Feferi, unless you wish this issue to be conveyed secondhand we're either going to need skype or phones involved somehow."

"Can do, don't let Karkat go anywhere," Feferi said, her hands up in a stay-there gesture before she skittered back to her room. In a half-second, she logged into skype and called over to Kanaya, "I'm on invisible, but I'm on!"

"It would easier for you to come over here, you know!" Kanaya announced loudly, leading Karkat to squawk once more in her headset, "All right, all right, I'll stop using the headset, just get on skype!"

Feferi unplugged her laptop and shuffled over to plop next to Kanaya, carefully holding her computer up to initiate a call as soon as Karkat logged on. She ran a hand trough her hair and swept it back, more out of habit than anything else; she knew Karkat would likely not care how she looked, but she had gotten into the ritual of tidying her hair for video and voice-only calls.

When the sound on Karkat's end of the call first emerged, it was the bickering of two young men Feferi heard.

"They just sprung it on me-"

"I don't care, do it in your own room!"

Feferi balked, "Oh, um, is Sollux there?"

Sollux cleared his throat and waved to both of the girls briefly before speaking to Karkat again, "Seriously KK go back to your room for this."

"Oh come on!" Karkat whined, stomping his foot and leaning over at Sollux as menacingly as he could.

"I'm not getting dragged into drama!" Sollux snapped, now sitting back at his desk.

Karkat shouted more insults at him as he gathered up his computer. In the meantime, Feferi and Kanaya had an intimate view of the front of Karkat's sweatshirt as he walked.

Before Feferi could even hear the sound of a door closing, Feferi was covering the microphone of her headset, explaining to Kanaya, "As soon as Karkat is back to his own room, I have to tell him, but Sollux can't hear this. Guess what Eridan did. Go on, guess!" Before Kanaya could answer, Feferi blurted out, brows furrowed, "He told Sollux that I told you and Karkat about their relationship! Can you believe that?"

"What." Kanaya said flatly, the commotion of Karkat trying to get his key from his pocket only exacerbated by the scratching of his sweatshirt.

Feferi threw her hands up in irritation, uncovering the microphone, "EXACTLY!" She snorted and ran a hand through her strawberry hair, tugging it a little, "Apparently you guys have known for, like, forever, and he wants me to take the fall!"

"More or less. He decided that he was the martyr in his own fairy tale because he wanted to spill the guts of the affair to somebody."

Karkat, now settled in his dorm announced loudly, "What? What just happened?"

Kanaya droned, "Eridan pushed us under the bus."

"Us?" Feferi spat, leveling a ferocious look at Karkat's grainy mug, "He pushed ME under the bus. You guys are fine. Sollux thinks I told you two they're doing the two-man tango; or he will when he checks his email. Ooooooh, I could have just STRANGLED him!"

"That slimy, stupid son of a bitch." Karkat growled, flopping back against his badly designed college standard desk chair with an imbalanced thunk, "I'm sorry that he decided you deserved the wrath of his stupid actions, Fef."

Kanaya nodded with a long-suffering sigh, " You know, I really should've expected this to happen sooner."

"Sooner? Which part? The part where he decided his dick came first?" Karkat sat back up, leaning closer to the screen once more.

Feferi choked back a giggle, and put her angry face back on. "Yeah, so, if Sollux puts me in the doghouse, could you guys put in some good words for me? And feel free to smack Eridan when you see him."

"Hah, I'll tell him the truth myself, he's right fucking there after all! It's not like I have to ford the goddamn English Channel to see him, you literally watched me walk from his room." Karkat got up as though he was about to go right back down the hallway.

Kanaya held a hand up, "Hold up. As much as he needs to reevaluate his choices and our patience, there is a fleetingly small chance that he might have been just looking out for Sollux."

"What? You think?" Karkat's face contorted in confusion.

"Apparently Sollux doesn't want anybody knowing about him liking guys? Anyway, it doesn't matter," Feferi said, her phone buzzing in her hip pocket. She pulled it out to look at the number, and shoved it back into her pocket. "I agreed, so I guess I have to live up to taking the blame.

Fuck him and his big sorrowful eyes and pathetic pleading...'Oh Fef,'" she imitated, putting on a nasal voice that sounded nothing like Eridan, "'You got to help meh an' risk one a your friendships on account a I'm too fuckin' full a myself to admit to any wrong-doin'. For fuck's sake I'm dyin' here, weh.'"

Kanaya blinked and looked back to the laptop and back to Feferi, "'Weh?' I don't think I've ever heard him say that."

"CREATIVE LICENSE!" Feferi spat.

"If he's not saying it with his mouth he's saying it out of his pathetic, stupid ass! How does he keep getting away with this stuff?" Karkat barked.

Kanaya replied, " The awesome Christmas presents for one."

Feferi's phone buzzed again and she growled, "Pardon me one second, I have to deal with an asshole." She set her laptop on the desk and stood up, walking to the corner of the room and answering her phone. "What."

Kanaya called over, "Give him hell!" She turned back toward Karkat on Skype and leaned forward, "That being said, he might not be doing this strictly for his own gain. I mean how many times has he really outed somebody by accident?"

"He's done the whole 'snivel like a toddler with crocodile tears' thing, though." Karkat gestured with a pointed finger.

"Right, but his track record with trying to keep someone's attention is pretty bad, in case you haven't forgotten." Kanaya explained, "Notches on a bedpost aside, he generally doesn't get a lot of second dates in case you haven't noticed. For fuck's sake, you remember hearing about his first time, don't you?"

"Yeah, that was pretty much the most awkward thing to ever pollute my aural ducts..." Karkat tugged at the collar of his sweatshirt, recalling that awful, awful memory.

"No, we are NOT cool, Eridan!" Feferi fumed, clenching her phone tightly enough she could almost hear the black and fuschia case. "This is definitively uncool! Cool is the opposite of what is going on here!" She paused, listening, before rolling her eyes and turning to Kanaya and her laptop, "My weight in chocolate is a good start...OH MY GOD ERIDAN, YOU DON'T JUST ASK A WOMAN HER WEIGHT! Yes, I know what I fucking said!"

"Ask for Karkat's weight in chocolate!" Kanaya chimed.

"Hey!" Karkat lunged toward the screen again, chair clunking once more in the process.

"Karkat's weight in chocolate, too," Feferi nodded, shooting Karkat a thumbs-up. "And get some goddamn pizzas over here. Anchovy and extra cheese...I'll ask." She moved the phone a few inches from her face, "What do you guys want? Dinner's on Captain Liarpants."

"Whatever meat lovers equivalent there is, I want more sausage than even Eridan can handle!" Karkat announced loudly.

"Bell peppers and olives for me." Kanaya said.

"Might as well bring some to the closet so Sollux can participate too." Karkat replied once more.

"Cool, make sure you're over here within thirty minutes," Feferi said to Karkat, and went back to the phone, "Kanaya's usual-peppers and olives-and Karkat wants a well-seasoned pig on his. Make sure you include a good tip...No! Pizza delivery is one of the most lethal jobs in the US, you aren't just giving him two bucks-So help me if you don't tip well I will harpoon you! No you can't come over for the pizza party, we're mad at you!"

Kanaya laughed, slapping the desk, "You tell him!"

"Yes, all of us!" Feferi added, "And cheesebread. No, we're not cool yet...Don't take that tone with me, Ampora! You're buying me pizza so I'm not starving and wrathful while I figure out how you DO make it right, got that? Yeah, that's what I thought." She grinned and shot the other two a thumbs-up and a wink.

"Offhand, I'd say that this means you have to come over here now." Kanaya announced to Karkat.

"I have to monitor my hall. " Karkat shrugged.

Kanaya sighed through her nose, rolling her eyes, "Really?"

"We've been over this, Maryam; some of us have responsibilities that need to be taken seriously and I'm not going to slack off while I'm on the clock. You can come over here if you want, though." Karkat pointed.

Feferi's eyebrows raised and she walked to the laptop, "Karcrab can't come over?"

Kanaya shook her head, "We can go over there with the food though if we want."

Feferi nodded, "Change of plan, Eridan, send it to your own dorm and I want you to bring the pizzas to Karkat's room; Kanaya and I will be there shortly. No, you still can't have any, but you DO have to do the chicken dance when you deliver them...You heard me." Feferi grinned brightly and bounced on the balls of her feet. "So buy the damn song and put it on your phone, or I'll throw in the teapot dance too."

Karkat nodded from the other side of the camera, "All right, so if you guys are coming over no monkey business, you got it? And if there's any singular incident, it's my job to go deal with it before you guys have a mani-pedi night in my room like it's girls' night out."

"Right, because your room is ideal for that kind of party." Kanaya shook her head, "If I weren't so aware of your character, I'd call you sexist for that."

Feferi hung up her cell phone and stuffed it in her pocket, wearing a bright and cheery smile. "Come on, Kanaya, I'm sure Karkat's room is ideal for a fancy party! Karkat, should I bring my evening hazmat suit, or something a little less formal, like a gasmask and radiation gloves?"

"Very funny, just let me know when you're downstairs." Karkat grumbled, immediately cutting off the transmission,  
Feferi giggled and took her laptop back, heading back to her own room, "You heard the man, Kan-kan."

"Kan-kan." Kanaya responded, raising her eyebrows dryly with a quiet grin.

"It rhymes!" Feferi called from her room, plugging her computer back in and grabbing her purse. "Bundle up, it's freezing out there! Ready to go when you are!"

"In theory, but it's considered poor literary prowess to rhyme a word with itself." Kanaya began to properly bundle herself up for the cold outside, "However, my full name is much more difficult to rhyme."

"It's easy if you take a few liberties!" Feferi giggled, buttoning up her baby-pink coat and slipping on some white gloves.

"Maybe if you stretch out the word 'desire' to sound more like 'desi-yah' it could suffice." Kanaya was dressed in minutes, not bothering to wear anything too flashy to just Karkat's dorm.

Feferi beamed, getting the door, "I spy a parriah trying to light a fi-yah, while i aspi-yah to rhyme Kanaya with...um...shoot! I was doing so well!"

"So very very well." Kanaya walked through the door, leading the way across campus to Karkat's room, shutting the door behind them.

==>

arsenicCatnip began trolling carcinoGeneticist  
AC: :33 karkitty!  
AC: :33 *ac swishes her tail and pounces the fussy fellow*  
AC: :33 you have to m33t my new furiend!  
AC: :33 spurrcifically, you have to m33t her right now, beclaws we're going to get some dinner and you are cordially invited :33  
AC: :33 join us?  
CG: I CAN'T. I'M ON DUTY RIGHT NOW AND HAVE TO BE AVAILABLE IN CASE ANY OF THESE MORONS GET INTO MORE TROUBLE THAN THEY CAN HANDLE. I'D LET YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL MY DUTIES BUT I'M SURE THAT YOU'RE MORE THAN AWARE BY NOW OF THE THANKLESS SACRIFICES I MAKE TO KEEP THE QUO AT ITS GODDAMN STATUS.  
AC: :33 yeah, yeah, an anarchy of broken toilets, i remember.  
AC: :33 want us to bring you anything?  
CG: IT'S OKAY. MAYBE WE CAN MEET UP SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND OR SOMETHING. I'M BUSY TOMORROW BUT I DON'T THINK I HAVE PLANS FOR SUNDAY YET.  
AC: :33 we'll have to s33!  
AC: :33 good luck with the anarchy!  
arsenicCatnip ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist

"Siiiiiiiigh," said Nepeta, flopping back on her dorm bed, "He's busy, but he can maybe to Sunday. You have to meet him, though! He's the best. And fun to tease!"

"Everybody is fun to tease," replied Terezi as she tossed her rubix cube to herself, "It's all a matter of finding the right buttons to press." She elongated her S-sounds into pronounced hisses, mimicking a serpent.

Nepeta grabbed her plush and tossed it into the air, catching it and repeating a few times. "I sup-paws you're right," she giggled, drawing out the wordplay, "but some people are more fun than others! Plus he's really great, I like him a lot and I think you would too!"

"If he wants to play with us, he better keep his wits about him, I don't like having to wait for slowpokes to catch up." The lights were all the way up in her living room yet she was still holding the cube suspiciously close to her face. Almost as though she were trying to cipher its mysteries by sheer sight.

"Purr-obably not a purr-oblem!" Nepeta giggled, sitting up to pick up a twenty-sided die. "How good do you think my odds are of being able to talk the goblins out of ransacking the town? I have eight ranks in bluff, can I convince them that there's a curse and the town isn't worth bothering?"

"Show me where you are on the board." Terezi placed the cube down and hunkered over, making note of where Nepeta gestured her placemarkers to be.

Nepeta pointed to a small blue statuette of a kitten, "Here's my cat-warrior rogue, and over here," she pointed to some bright red Lego figurines on the far side of the board, "are the goblins. I have a little time befur they get close, at least two turns I'd say, unless they have su-purr quick travel feats or something."

Terezi gestured to each in turn, "Goblins are mindless drones at best and hordes of crazy monkeys at worst. HOBgoblins are the ones you can reason with if you have a high enough roll. If we have good enough rolls then I can swoop in and scorch half the board while you wrestle down whatever goblins are leftover."

"In that case, I'll hide and pre-purr to pick off the survivors, laying in wait to feel their juicy flesh torn asunder by my sharp and deadly claws!"

Nepeta purred, reaching over to the bucket of lollipops and sucking candy. Her first pick was a lemon sucker, and she made a face, putting it back and rooting around for something else, "I hope that wasn't the last root beer dum dum."

"I'll have the lemon one if you don't want it." Terezi reached over in Nepeta's direction without looking up, simply flicking her fingers back and forth. She didn't seem to have any issue with spit-swapping, germs, or personal space.

Nepeta handed her the lemon pop and found a watermelon one for herself, giggling and helping herself to it. "Okay! So fur-st, the mighty dragon sweeps down and barbecues the goblin horde. Roll!"

Just as the die landed, Terezi's phone went off at her side. She picked it up and read the text on the brightly lit screen. She grinned briefly and tapped out an answer before even looking at the number on the die. The number was 18. Burnination was imminent.

Nepeta cackled and gently flicked over all of the goblins, "Dead dead dead dead aaaand dead. Woo! EXP fur all! Except the dead guys. No EXP fur the dead guys." She glanced over, "So who's that?"

"Vriska. She's describing the sad sacks that Alpha Phi Omega have to offer on campus. Lame. Very glad I decided to stay in with you." Terezi meticulously texted Vriska back, leaving her phone in her lap when she was done and picking up the notebook of scores she was keeping.

Nepeta canted her head, "What's she studying? Or planning to study, or whatefur."

"She's between theater and English. She was supposed to decide last month so the school's been getting on her case about it."

Nepeta bit down on her lollipop and felt the crunch of candy between her teeth, "She can't decide?"

Terezi shook her head, "Yeah, she probably won't decide for another month or so. Maybe longer. She doesn't care so much about the whole streamlined education process, she just wants to learn what she cares about."

"I know that feeling, my purr-ents thought I was nuts to go into art." Nepeta searched the bucket for another candy, the stick of the last pop sticking out of the corner of her mouth. "They were all, 'But you love animals, and veterinary medicine is steady work!' but I just wanna be an artist. I purr-obably won't ever get famous or anything but it's what I wanna do."

Leaning herself back against the bed, she laid her head back and slid her glasses off, "Pfft. Pay. Money is the most important part at the end of the day though. I mean, you've got to pay your bills and all. I'm almost positive that Vriska would be content with living paycheck to paycheck at Walmart and working at Renn Faires during the fall."

"Well, yeah, you have to make ends meet, but you have to like what you do, too, right?" Nepeta chirped, ever cheerful. "There's no sense in doing something you don't at least enjoy, fur study or fur a career."

"The best way to look at it is to do what you're best at, that way there's no way you can fail at it," Terezi nodded to herself, "I mean, drawing's the thing you're best at? Then go for it. You shouldn't have any problem succeeding. That's the problem with people and their majors, they go in picking the thing they LIKE the most, not the thing they do well." She began nibbling the end of the arm of her glasses as punctuation.

"You're one to talk, Miss Passionate-About-Law" Nepeta giggled, sticking her tongue out as she started to play with the plush again. "Sometimes we choose the things we're best at because we like them the most! Also, you can't major in roleplay games and shouting at the TV."

Terezi chimed back, "What about movies? Directing or writing or some such?"

Nepeta pulled a face, crinkling her nose, "Ew, no thank you. Who wants to live life obeying scripts and plot lines? I'm all about s-paw-ntineity! Could you imagine me trying to direct a mew-vie?" She laughed, and leaned against Terezi, puppeting the plush in Terezi's lap to make it seem like it was talking, "Okay people, the script says that purr-otaginist A is sup-paws-ed to chase after romantic interest B and beg her to stay, but that's lame so let's have the love interest egg the purr-otagonist's house and moon him. Then she buys a racecar."

"That movie is splendidly worthwhile," Terezi cackled, rolling over onto her side. She reached over to one of the fallen figurines on the floor, "But you're right, there's no money to be made in roleplaying exclusively. You'd have to find something to do it with."

"And un-fur-tunately, most rennaissance faires are seasonal and don't payfurry well," Nepeta sighed, taking the plush back and giving it a nose boop. "Boop! And yes, I've checked. Also, my attempts to find a purr-ofessional LARPing o-purr-tunity have also been fruitless. Prop and cosplay commissions are a paw-sibility though...but only as side money. I've gotten good money from it be-fur, but it's s-purr-adic and un-purr-edictable work."

Terezi, having zoned out of the conversation minutes before, yawned and picked at some candy stuck in her molars. She heard her cell phone chime once again, leading her to pick it up and read the text on the screen. More updates from Vriska. Better to pay attention to the friend she had over, she decided.

Nepeta rolled her shoulder until she heard a pop, and reached for a manual to decide what she'd do with her gold from the encounter, when her phone rang. She checked the caller and gave Terezi an apologetic look, "Mind if I get this? It's Aradia."

Terezi nodded in return, "No worries."

Nepeta answered her phone, "Cat and Dragon adventuring agency, when there's imps in your crops, we pull out the stops. What would you like killed today?"

Nepeta laughed, "I thought you'd like that. So what's up? Oh?" She giggled and whispered to Terezi, "She misdialed." She resumed talking to Aradia, "Yeah, no, texting him sounds like a good idea. I mean, if he's not calling...Okay, I hope you can reach him!" Hanging up, she plopped her phone on the bed beside her and wrote something down on her character sheet, "She's trying to reach her friend and he's purr-oving elusive. How much gold do we get fur each goblin, and are we splitting it fifty-fifty, or do you want more for making all of them crispy?"

==>

Aradia shook her head, chuckling to herself for having called Nepeta instead of Sollux. She had already tried once to reach him, but it was all for naught, and on her friend's advice she sent him a quick text of "hey are y0u d0ing anything 0n saturday?" before scrolling through her conversation with Equius while she waited.

apocalypseArisen has begun trolling centaursTesticle  
AA: hey there dreamy h0ws it g0ing?  
CT: D -> So far I have nothing to complain about  
CT: D -> That being said I also have nothing especially interesting going on  
AA: i d0nt supp0se y0u have time t0 visit the sh0p?  
AA: its dead in here  
CT: D -> I had said nothing interesting  
CT: D -> But I do have to remain on campus for my office hours  
AA: aw 0_0  
AA: thats a shame because i was s0 h0ping t0 see my hands0me stalli0n  
AA: h0w ab0ut t0night?  
CT: D -> That w001d be preferable  
CT: D -> Especially if you decide to flatter me so lasciviously  
AA: 0h n0!  
AA: i am afraid it is lascivi0us truth rather than flattery  
AA: s0rry t0 disapp0int  
AA: alth0ugh i w0uld still like t0 kn0w when y0u are next free f0r an aftern00n  
AA: the museum is 0pening up a new exhibit and there is n0 0ne i w0uld rather g0 with than y0u  
AA: hell0?  
CT: D -> I apologize for my absence  
CT: D -> There was business to attend to  
AA: n0 pr0blem!  
CT: D -> That being said I w001d greatly enjoy this e%hibit with you  
AA: great!  
AA: h0w d0es tuesday l00k f0r y0u?  
CT: D -> I w00ld prefer Thursday  
AA: thursday i have w0rk  
AA: h0w ab0ut friday?  
CT: D -> My fridays must always be planned in advance  
CT: D -> I have to call my family that night  
AA: all day?  
AA: wait shit i pr0mised t0 hang 0ut with s0llux anyway  
CT: D -> Hm  
CT: D -> Why have I not met this friend of yours yet?  
AA: that is an excellent questi0n and 0ne that must s00n be remedied!  
AA: but n0t 0n friday evidently  
AA: h0ld 0n i will call him and see if he w0uld be willing t0 d0 s0mething this weekend  
AA: but it is n0t as if i d0 n0t want y0u t0 meet!  
AA: actually i have been wanting t0 intr0duce y0u tw0 f0r s0me time n0w  
AA: i want tw0 0f the m0st imp0rtant men in my life t0 get al0ng  
AA: he isnt answering  
AA: i w0nder if next week w0uld w0rk better?  
CT: D -> My parents are not forgiving of changes in schedule  
CT: D -> Otherwise I w001d oblige you  
AA: its 0kay  
AA: the last thing i want t0 d0 is start getting 0n my b0yfriends parents bad side  
AA: sh0uld i see if he can d0 lunch 0n saturday?  
AA: i w0rk 0n sunday  
CT: D -> That sh001d work  
CT: D -> I must go  
CT: D -> I will entrust this scheduling issue to you for the moment

With a sigh, she set her phone aside and looked around. She had heard that there was a performance going on at the new college theater, which might account for the complete lack of patrons at the coffee shop. It was possible that after the show, they would be flooded with business, but for the time being there was no one coming in and her coworker was on dinner break. She began to count the straws for the sixth time when she heard her phone chime.

Eager for the reprieve from boredom, she eagerly texted back.

apocalypseArisen has begun trolling twinArmageddons  
AA: hey are y0u d0ing anything 0n saturday?  
TA: no iim free why?  
AA: because i think it is high time y0u and equius g0t t0 meet 0u0  
TA: 2ure, fiine, iif iit2 that iimportant two you  
TA: FUCK  
AA: ?  
TA: ii cant. 2hiit came up  
AA: 0h n0!  
AA: what ab0ut next wendesday?  
TA: iim not 2ure yet, iits not liike ii can plan my entiire week iin advance or anythiing.  
TA: ii can try two 2ee what ii can do but riight now all ii can 2ay ii2 that iit2 a maybe  
AA: wait sh00t i have an exam the next day  
TA: thii2 ju2t got way more poiintle22 than ii thought po22iible.  
AA: are there any days y0u kn0w f0r sure y0u have free?  
TA: monday ii thiink.  
TA: maybe you 2hould ju2t aiim for the end of the 2eme2ter before we go home.  
AA: my last final is 0n that m0nday  
AA: i will check but i think equius sh0uld be able t0 hang 0ut then t00!  
AA: i mean his tut0ring h0urs sh0uldnt really be a thing anym0re right?  
AA: thats the very last day 0f anything at all this semester.  
TA: for the 2ake of your ea2e iill do whatever iit take2 two keep that day come hell or hiigh water  
AA: that reminds me i can reserve 0ur bus tickets t0 g0 h0me f0r the day after that  
AA: that sh0uld give us time t0 get h0me and get settled again bef0re christmas

Aradia waited for a little while, to see if Sollux responded at all. Nothing. Minutes ticked by, and she sighed. One of the great issues of texting is that one never knew when the other might suddenly drop off communication. She was just about to count straws for a seventh time when she heard the bell at the door jingle, and she smiled brightly for the brown-and-purple-haired figure that entered.

"Oh hey! How's it going? What's your pleasure?" she beamed, watching Eridan unwrap his scarf and blow on his hands.

"Evenin' Ar," he replied, unbuttoning his peacoat and slipping his gloves into his pockets. He looked around, "Christ, I seen funerals with more life in 'em than this place."

"Welcome to Reddings' Mausoleum of Coffee," she said, bowing, and leaned on the counter, "Pick your poison. Do you want the same thing you got the other day?"

"Nah, I'm feelin' like somethin' a li'l different. Gimme a caramel late with cinnamon an' a shot a espresso, extra whip an' chocolate shavin's, with all the caffiene you see fit to givin' to a healthy human bein'."

"So exactly the same as before but with espresso. Size?" she asked, getting to work.

"Whatever one accounts for the most caffiene gettin' in my system as deliciously as possible. An' a side a gossip, a course. Oh, an' I'll have your prints ready Thursday."

"Awesome! Here, an extra shot of espresso, on the house," she grinned, pulling the lever on the machine.

"God bless, Ar. I don't suppose I could manage a muffin too, eh?" Eridan asked, pulling out his wallet to pay for the coffee.

"Free gossip or free muffin; choose one, and choose wisely," she said, finishing off his drink.

"Gossip, then. That's got to be a better value. Gimme the muffin anyway, though."

Aradia pulled a muffin from the case, before stopping, "Actually, we have some day-old scones that need a new home, I can give you one of those for free."

"Temptin', but I'm cravin' a muffin right now." One scone and coffee exchanged for bills and change, and Eridan leaned against the counter, picking the wrapper off of his muffin. "Now, how 'bout that gossip?"

"Sollux wore bee pajamas until he was ten," Aradia said, boxing up a half-dozen day-old scones. "Not footie, though. Hey, take these to him, will you?"

"Good to know, but that ain't the juicy gossip I was lookin' for," Eridan chuckled, gesturing with is coffee. "Hopin' for somethin' a li'l more salacious...out a curiosity, you an' he ever...?"

"Ah...well, unless you mean how I thought I was going to marry him when we were six, I'd have to say no," Aradia chuckled, placing the boxed scones in a take away bag.

"Didn' realize I was competin' with a childhood sweetheart," Eridan smirked. "Hope there's no hard feelin's."

Aradia snickered, "No, it was just kid stuff, you know? He played house with me once and I thought that meant we were married, then my friend Tavros played house with me too, and I thought that meant I'd have to marry them both. Six year olds think stuff like that, you know?"

"That is the most adorable fuckin' thing I ever heard," Eridan laughed, picturing a sulking mini-Sollux. "He the jealous sort? I can see it now, clear as day: him buildin' himself a lego cave to sulk in or some shit."

"It wasn't like that at all!" Aradia grinned, shaking her head and beginning to wipe down the machine where a bit of espresso had spilled. "They worked out a schedule for alternating days, with the exception of birthdays. Things only got ugly when Dad said I couldn't have two husbands...then we had no choice but to elope to the McDonalds, all three of us. Tavros's uncle Rufi found us hiding in under a table."

Eridan nearly choked on a bit of muffin, cackling. "Oh my god, he is never hearin' the end a that." He took a drink, and thumped on his chest to make sure the muffin had gone down properly, before leaning over the counter and giving her a look, "So, seriously, you an' he never even thought about gettin' it on?"

Aradia snapped a dishcloth at him, laughing, "Nope, and I will have you know that with the exception of my boyfriend, I have never been with anyone, nor do I intend to for as long as we are together! So you can just keep that wandering eye on Sollux, thank you."

"Can't help myself, Ar," he smirked, hands up in surrender, "Got an eye for beauty, whether or not I'm contemplatin' makin' a pass. But you just rest your mind, I ain't plannin' on anythin', not while I got Sol." He picked up his muffin again, "'Specially if you got yourself a hot piece a ass waitin' on you."

"More stallion than ass," Aradia sighed dreamily, her hips wiggling a little. "Though, his ass IS pretty nice."

"Well fuck me, a stallion, she says! You got to tell me more," he laughed, returning to his muffin. "Hung like a-"

"-Precisely," she smirked, before putting her hand to her chest in mock propriety, "But we mustn't speak on such things, for he is very proper and dislikes indecency and lewdnes...except behind closed doors."

"An' somethin' tells me you get him behind those closed doors a lot." Eridan was no stranger to the smile of a woman in love, and he could see that smile stretching not just ot her eyes, but her whole being. He balled up the muffin wrapper and tossed it into the trash can from where he stood, "Sounds like a dream come true, girl, good on you. Good thing Sol ain't a jealous sort, for havin' to share you."

"I wouldn't say he's not-" She was cut off by a text sound of her phone. "Speak of the devil..."

TA: 2ound2 liike a plan two me.

"That Sol?" Eridan peeked at her phone, and a thought occurred to her. With a twinkle of mischief in her eye, she typed back to him.

AA: eridan says hi  
AA: sh0uld i invite him when y0u and equius meet t00?  
TA: WHAT

Giggling, Aradia set her phone aside while Eridan gave her a quizical look. "What's goin' on? Somethin' funny?"

"Just teasing Sollux. I want him and Mister Stallion to meet before we go away on Christmas Break, and it's been hard trying to meet everyone's schedules."

"Don't tell me you're afraid your beau is jealous a Sol, is he?"

"No," she said, shaking her head, before pausing, "At least, I don't THINK so...but it wouldn't hurt for everyone to meet and get to know each other before we go away, right? Unfortunately, unless something changes, the monday after finals might be the first and only chance we all get to sit down together and talk."

Eridan looked at his own calendar on his phone, "Huh, fuck, that's a couple weeks off..."  
Aradia heard her phone chime again, and Eridan leaned over to see, to which Aradia simply backed away from the counter for her privacy.

TA: fuck ii dont know

Hmm...though she had meant it as a joke, maybe it WOULD be a good idea to bring Eridan along. He was charismatic, a charmer, but on the off-chance that Equius was jealous, Sollux's partner sitting at the table would send a clear message that Sollux wasn't going to try to get in Equius's way. The longer she thought about it, the better it sounded!

AA: it might be g00d t0 have an icebreaker there  
AA: als0 i am giving him s0me day 0ld sc0nes t0 give y0u since he will see y0u bef0re i d0  
TA: youre the mom ii never a2ked for. maybe ii can get you 2ome moderately u2ed iinternet a2 thank2 lol.  
AA: n0 thank y0u i have been t0 the internet and f0und it sticky and kind 0f funny smelling  
TA: gue22 iit2 not for everyone. only cool cat2 allowed.  
AA: yes the internet is fam0usly full 0f cats  
TA: gtfo my siight.

She pocketed her phone, and leaned on the counter, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to want to come and keep Sollux company on our little playdate, would you?"

"An' risk not bein' able to make Sol uncomfortable while listenin' to more about his bee pajamas in front a your Stallion? I wouldn' miss it for the world. Just want me to come an' look pretty?

"Well, helping the conversation keep going would help, too! Sollux can be kind of quiet sometimes."

"Sure, I can help on that end. Any topics in particular you were hopin' to include? I'm afraid some a my photography jargon might go a li'l over your heads."

"Just as well," Aradia shrugged, "I don't think my boyfriend cares much for photography." Eridan raised an eyebrow and she waved him off, "I'm not sure why, just a sense I get. Oooh! How about history? I like history!"

"No foolin'?" Eridan smiled, settling in against the counter, "Fancy you should mention, but I'm sorta a history a buff, myself."

"No kidding!" Aradia beamed, leaning against the counter. "What's your favorite time period? Culture? Subject? Lately I've been fascinated by Anglo-Saxon burial mounds."

Eridan shook his head, "Naw, I'm more a the millitary history sort. Like, I been readin' up on Custer lately, an-hear me out, now-the guy was actually kinda fascinatin'. I mean obviously the Indian Wars were a monumental sack a horseshit, I mean, come ON, but the man himself was an interestin' bloke if you got down to it. First a all, he was the original prettyboy a the military..."

After that, it all sort of became white noise to Aradia. She knew he was speaking, she knew she was meant to seem interested...but he seemed so enthused that she didn't have the heart to tell him she had no particular interest in modern Western or American history. She moved behind one of the coffee machines and discreetly texted Sollux.

AA: als0 d0es eridan have an 0ff butt0n?  
AA: he keeps talking 0_0

"...An' you can't really blame him for courtin' favor when he's got friends in high places, can you? 'Course not! So really, he..."

AA: a l0t  
TA: yeah that happen2.  
TA: that2 what you get when you want me to be 2ociial, ii end up with the 2elf centered drama queef who want2 all the attentiion and all the bed cover2.  
TA: metaphoriical bedcover2 ii mean.  
AA: s0 y0u are telling me t0 sm0ther him in his sleep?  
AA: he d0es n0t seem t0 be sleeping  
AA: please advise  
TA: ii am afraiid iit ii2 already two late  
TA: but 2iince you are already 2ufferiing the wrath of eriidan, iif you want to take hiim off my hand2 for a niight thatd be pretty fuckiing 2plendid on your part.

"...I mean, the man risked an' endured a fuckin' court marshal for goin' to visit his wife; an' if that ain't love, I can't say as I can tell what is anymore, you know? On the other hand, there was the li'l matter a his alleged other wife..."  
Aradia sighed; the things she'd do for Sollux.  
AA: i will keep him distracted then but i am sending him h0me 0nce the c0ffee sh0p cl0ses  
AA: use y0ur time well

"...So while I ain't condonin' what he done, an' obviously he had that whole Li'l Bighorn fiasco comin' to him, I'm just sayin' that history might a been really different if he'd lived on, maybe elected to office. See, I figure..."

...It was going to be a long shift.


	20. >Sollux: Question Visitor's Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Sollux takes the reigns in what happens to the butts in this agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do deeply apologize for the lack of updates since February. First Dyzzy lost her computer and then I did, but we've for the most part gotten things slightly on track. We're also nearing the end of this act, so you have that to look forward to/dread. :D Also the song used in this chapter is Drive it Like You Stole it by the Glitch Mob.

Sollux cocked his head slightly, looking over at Eridan with his eyebrows raised, "You like what?"

"The Heartbreakers. Fuck you, I know they're old school, but I think Tom Petty was pretty okay." He may have been a hipster, but Eridan still had an appreciation for older music.  
Sollux had called Eridan for a little break between studies that, frankly, both of them desperately needed. Finals were looming, projects were due, and both of them were going completely stir crazy. Sollux's first thought had been to call up Aradia, whom he had not seen in the flesh for long enough where even he was uncomfortable with it, but unfortunately for him, this was her big macho boytoy's birthday or something and she had warned him that she was going to be completely off the grid for the rest of the evening, and probably incommunicado until after she'd made him morning-after pancakes. First choice down and desperate to do anything other than homework for a while, he called Eridan over in hopes of doing him instead.

Just Sollux's luck, the schmuck was dressed to the nines that day and feeling conversational. This would take a while to get going. Whatever, at least it wasn't homework, andSollux had let himself get dragged into yet another debate. He hadn’t even been able to get near the bed yet what with Eridan’s choice of topic and he himself still planted at his computer chair.

"Was that the guy who had the song about the girl who loves Jesus and falling or something?" Sollux leaned back in his seat while making connect-the-dot type gestures with his fingers.

"Free Fallin' was a commercial bomb, but it was still a decent song, okay. Did you even ever listen to the guitar? Mastery even in its simplicity. You try an' tell me otherwise, an' that's how I'll know you ain't got ears."

Sollux shrugged, "I don't really listen to guitars. I'm more about bass."

Eridan shrugged, "Bass is pretty vital, yeah. First one what comes to mind there though is White Stripes, but I don't even fuckin' know how to feel about them. Quality sound, simple, but got a good thud to it, an' quality base, but besides that an' drums, what else is there?"

"I'll be honest, I don't really know much about rock, it all kind of sounds the same to me." Sollux unwound his dj headphones from around his neck in an effort to get comfortable.

"Where do you think that shit came from, Sol? Music comes from what was before it, an' yours ain't no different. You're just bein' willfully ignorant."

"Well I like what I like. What, you have to school me on music until you deem me worthy to do shit to?"

Eridan rolled his eyes, "No, but you ain't got proper appreciation if you don't. Shit. So much quality shit you ain't even heard, though...it's enough to make a guy weep, if you wasn' bein' such an ass."

"I listen to my music to get lost inside it, I don't do it to feel bad about people. If I wanted to hear someone's stupid sob story, I'd go to therapy sessions for teenage girls."  
Eridan held up his hands, "Okay, so you know what? Doesn't even matter, there's quality shit what ain't even got words. You want the good shit? Jessica by the Allman Brothers.

Now that's goin' seriously old school, but even you can't say no to that one, Sol."

"Fine. You're not allowed to say no to the Glitch Mob then." Sollux flipped through his music player and then sat beside Eridan on his bed. He brought the laptop and his headphones with him, "Put these on and listen."

"Fine." He reached over and put on the headphones.

Sollux was sitting rather close to Eridan all things considered, but after everything they'd been through, this kind of closeness was practically normal to him. His cheek was nearly on his shoulder, close enough for Sollux to inhale his scent. Not that he was sniffing him like a pervert. Definitely not. And wasn't looking at any freckles on his neck. And he certainly wasn't cursing his own inability to decide between arguing with Eridan and pouncing him. Nope.

Eridan closed his eyes and listened; yeah, it was pretty good. He hadn't been disputing whether it was good, though, so he didn't feel too bad when his feet started twitching to the beat. Sollux was just being ignorant about the decades of good music that had already passed, and that? That shit just don't stand. This was really pretty okay, though.

Sollux saw just how into it Eridan got. Not for the first time, he noticed how he was actually kind of hot when his face wasn't twisted up in a stuck-up sneer. Okay, he'd come to terms with that a while ago but still, was he allowed to just touch Eridan if he felt like it? This was all still kind of weird. He closed his eyes and faintly heard parts of the music, leaning somewhat closer, their cheeks almost touching.

Eridan felt a warmth by his cheek that wasn't his own. He opened his eyes, looking at Sollux, a smug smirk reaching him. He only listened to about half of the song, humming approval as it ended.

"What, you don’t like it?" Sollux raised his eyebrows behind his two-tone glasses.

Eridan handed back the headphones, "Why wouldn' I? I never said electronica was shit, I just said you ain't got any sense a the classics. Besides I got the point of it."

Still leaning close with a snort, Sollux said quietly beside Eridan's ear, "Snob." He leaned back over to his laptop and licked the side of his mouth as he looked for more music.

Eridan's cheeks flushed red as he breathed in sharply. He coughed, regaining his composure, "Nothin' wrong with bein' educated about music, Sol. You love a thing, you learn about it an' you fuckin' enjoy it."

Sollux looked over again, tongue still visible at the side of his mouth, "Yeah it's true I guess. I mean I guess there's shit I can be listening to, I just don't really care about the romantic preening shit."

Eridan flopped back on the bed, "So don't go with the preenin' shit. Take Satisfaction, Rollin' Stones. One a the best guitar riffs you're ever gonna cross. Or somethin' Santana.

Fuck, damn near anythin' Santana. Ace instrumentals is what I'm gettin' at here."

Sollux laid back the other way, leaning up on his elbows, "'Course you're a Stones guy. Even the disco shit, right?"

"Wouldn' listen to that shit with your ears. Stones is quality, though, an' a good strong instrumental sound, whatever that sound is, is key, you feel me?" He rolled over onto his side. "An' good sound don't just happen to one genre, one decade, or one style, you know?"

Sollux nodded in faux agreement with a contemplative grin, "Good to know the Stones got their big revival from Kesha. Blessed be to that crazy slut."

Eridan roused himself and punched him in the arm.

"Oh come on, that bitch has pipes!" Sollux lurched up and leaned over and sang right in his ear, "You spin my head right round right round when you go down when you go down down..."

Eridan was suddenly very, very conflicted. He let out a little whimper, before he even realized it, and pushed Sollux away. "Don't even come at me with that shit, Sol."  
"Oh no the hipster asshat has a weakness for shitty pop singers, come on asshole I can do this alllll day!" He cackled and started singing, lisping horribly, "Kiss me k-k-kiss me! Infect me with your loving fill me with your poison!" 

Eridan laughed, "Good news, Sol, your singin' is shitty enough, you're sure to go far on the popular labels."

Sollux laid close enough that Eridan could hear that voice closer than he was before, "Fuck yeaahhhhh."

Eridan shuddered, trying to maintain his cool. He weakly tried to shove Sollux away. "Fuck you, Sol..."

Sollux pressed closer, still laughing, "Nn-nn nope, you're just gonna have to deal with it because your love your love your love is my drug..." His voice was right in his ear, nestling.

Shit. Eridan rolled over, away from Sollux, hoping to hide the furious blush on his face and the bulge in his pants. Goddamn, why did that asshole have to be so wrong about everything, but have to whisper RIGHT by Eridan's ear? "You're ruinin' things that was ruined the moment they was writ, Sol, I hope you're proud a yourself."

Sollux was about to continue but noticed that Eridan was acting weird, should he stop—naaaaah. He made a face to himself and decided to try something. He pushed down on

Eridan's shoulder to lay him on his back again, whispering down in his ear, "So very proud of myself. What're you gonna do about it?"

The sound that came out of Eridan was not a human sound. It was high-pitched, needy, and definitely something he would never admit to having made in his life. He tried to push Sollux away, feebly, a burning in his loins and on his cheeks and in his chest.

Sollux snerked, crawling on top of Eridan, a knee between his and his lips still beside his ear, "What's wrong? You get all hot and bothered when I piss you off?"

He whimpered again...oh shit, he knew. He had to know, if he was doing this...and he also had to be a dick about it, because if there's one thing that Sollux Captor is, it was a dick. A lisping, stubborn, socially-maladjusted, god-damned sexy dick. He tried once more to push him away, but only managed to put his hands on Sollux's chest and grip his shirt.

"Well come on, you gonna answer me, bro?" His lips actually brushed up against his ear this time, he could hear Sollux breathing, the light little smacking of his lips and tongue before he chuckled.

Eridan shivered, trembling underneath him, closing his eyes and sighing..."Y-you're an asshole..."

"I'm not sure what I'm doing, but apparently you like it." Sollux certainly did, the sight of Eridan completely subservient and practically melting underneath him was incredibly hot.

He lifted himself halfway, staring down at Eridan with a hand beside each shoulder, "Come on, what is it?"

Eridan glared at him, growling but without real malice, "Fuck you...just...fuck you." If Sollux hadn't figured it out, he wasn't going to just hand over the reins without a fight.

"I think you wanna." Sollux's glasses almost slid off as he stared down. At that point, he just grunted and took them off, placing them on his desk before returning to the right position, which naturally, was kneeling over Eridan, hands beside his shoulders, and staring right at his eyes.

Eridan licked his lips, tempted to out and say it, so Sollux would do it more. He was uncomfortably aroused already, but wanted more, more...but...was he really ready to let

Sollux in on a potential key to undoing him? He could lose all of that sexy dom power he'd been cultivating, and that? He wasn't willing to give THAT up... "You're smart, you figure it out."

Sollux licked his lips in response to Eridan licking his own, the damn guy using his oral fixation against him, the bastard. He leaned up back up toward his ear, "S'got something to do with your ears, I know that..."

Eridan grumbled, looking away, trying to force his words to sound genuine, and failing horribly. "Forget it Sol...you ain't gonna figure it out, an' you can't use it against me, so just back off..."

Sollux just sort of stopped listening to WHAT Eridan was saying and more of HOW he was speaking. Was it just having someone play with his ears? As a result, just at the tail end of Eridan's babbling, Sollux ran his tongue along the edge of his ear, from the bottom to the top, making a barely audible "aah" sound in the process.

A grown man should not make that noise, okay. It was a small, timid squeal, and Eridan batted Sollux's face away, covering his face with his other arm. "Sol..." he pleaded, though what he was asking for, he himself could not say.

Sollux smirked, allowing himself to be pushed back just for the sake of his role at the moment. This was way too much fun, "All right then, sorry if I crossed some boundary of yours. If you want me to stop, just say so."

Good. Not good. Yes. No. Fuck. Wait no, totally fuck. Fuck! Eridan didn't know what to do...he whimpered a little, keeping his arm over his face, but reaching to Sollux with the other one, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

Sollux took the cue to lean in to Eridan's other ear, brushing their cheeks together (and relishing in how ridiculously warm Eridan's was) as he whispered, "What's that? Can't really hear you. It's funny, all that talk about getting more ass than a toilet seat and all it takes is a little earfucking to get you going?"

That was it. Any pride or dignity Eridan had left was promptly thrown out the window, the window closed, bolted, and welded shut, and the blinds drawn. He curled up, wrapping himself around Sollux, pressing closer to Sollux, particularly to his lips.

Sollux outright laughed at the display, but couldn't deny how fucking hot it was. With his left hand, he turned Eridan's face away. He rubbed his fingers along his lower lip, feeling the slight moistness and groaning softly, right into the guy's ear. Sollux then breathed out hotly, running his tongue up the curve once again, only ending when his tongue had rested behind the shell and his teeth lightly began tugging it.

"Ohhh, FUCK Sol..." Eridan breathed out, shivering. He knew Sollux had the keys now, and as big a dick as he was, he'd exploit his weakness like crazy. Right now, though, he couldn't give half a shit, so long as Sollux kept working that magic in and on his ear.

"Just gonna keep fucking your ear until you tell me to stop. Don't think you're gonna though." Sollux slid his tongue up the curve of his ear again, then back down, flicking his tongue over the lobe and then sucking it between his lips.

Eridan bit his lip, gripping onto Sollux, balling his shirt in his fists as he groaned. He was useless, completely under Sollux's control, and loving it more than he'd ever want to admit.

Sollux lifted himself up, looking down at Eridan again. He smirked, exposing his teeth, "Hah, you know what, this is my first time trying to dirty-talk someone and I guess I'm pretty fucking good at giving it, huh?"

Eridan nodded weakly, resisting the urge to say anything incriminating, and failing horribly, "M-more...whisper to me..."

"Really? That's what you want?" Sollux looked genuinely confused for a second, leaning down and rubbing the tips of their noses together for just a second before his voice turned black like oil, "You want some unappreciative, uneducated asshole to talk dirty to you."

Nnng, the man has a voice like a cello when he wanted to, a resonant tone, high-pitched for a man, but clear and smooth as good bourbon. Eridan couldn't do much besides nod. "Yeah...yeah, Sol, I want that, right in my ear, whisper to me like everythin's a secret..."

Sollux got a good look at that desperate expression before darting back to the ear that started this whole mess, "'Cause it IS a secret, remember? No one's supposed to know that we're up and doing any of this shit but it's getting you really hot right now, I can feel it. And you know what? I'm gonna do something about it."

Eridan trembled, even as he lay wrapped up around Sollux, the tone of his words affecting him in the worst, best ways, before the words themselves sunk in. He opened one eye. "Do...? What're you gonna do?"

His lips pushed up against Eridan's ear again, their chests pressed together at this point, "I'm going to make you crazy. I'm gonna make you desperate, then I'm gonna sink my fingers inside you and then I'm going to fuck you."

Around this time, Eridan would agree to stealing the Hope Diamond and shoving it up his nose. He nodded, feebly, offering no resistance, merely trying to work his hands under Sollux's shirt.

Sollux was honestly shocked at his compliance, voice dropping into ordinary Sollux, "Really?" A second later, he became smooth once more, "Damn Eridan, didn't know you had it in you. Go on and touch me, I like it when you get under my shirt..."

He didn't need to be asked twice. He dove into Sollux's shirt hands-first, tugging the cloth up and running his hands along his bony chest like a man possessed. He worked his hands all over Sollux,'s chest, kissing up his sternum, loathe to keep one ear or the other far from Sollux's mouth.

Sollux leaned his head down, making a soft, pleased sound close to Eridan's ear, beginning to breathe heavier and blush himself. He awkwardly slid his hand down along

Eridan's side, over his clothes. He was starting to wonder if he could really do this but fuck... "You smell really good you know and I really like how you feel..."

Another high-pitched whine, and if Eridan were in his right mind he'd smack his own face before making these sounds, but he wasn't in his right mind so much as somewhere further south. Still, fuck Sol. Fuck him and fuck his voice and fuck his deviousness and fuck his stupid sexy body and actually fucking Sol sounded like the best idea ever. He made another god-damned whine he'd hate himself for, nodding his head, craning to keep his ear by Sollux's lip.

Sollux's hand finally reached the bottom of Eridan's shirt, working his fingers up under it; skimming the tiny strip of bare flesh just so under his thumb and rubbing his hardening cock up against Eridan's thigh, "Damn, you always wear so many clothes? S'gonna be hard to get you of them..."

Eridan did his best to single-handedly unbutton his vest while keeping as much contact with Sollux as possible, keeping one hand on his chest, and not daring to move his face from the aura of warmth coming from Sollux's body. After some fumbling, even with the large buttons, he was able to get the vest open, and struggled a little with the top button of his shirt.

Sollux quickly removed his hand from that sliver of skin for the chance to work those buttons open with his own hands. He lightly rocked his hips against Eridan's thigh as he laughed at Eridan's urgency, "You're really eager aren't you? You really want this now? You're such a slut." Sollux wished he was joking, but at this point he really wasn't going to deny him. He might have been an asshole, but goddamn if he wasn't fucking gorgeous with those freckles and those eyes and that fucking voice.

Eridan shot him one look of mild defiance, unable to muster much else, as he tugged Sollux's shirt a little higher and lapped his tongue at the meeting of Sollux's collarbones.

He nipped lightly and began to suck at his skin, his free hand working on the relatively easier task of unfastening and unzipping Sollux's jeans.

Sollux gasped up against Eridan's ear at the feel of his tongue, "Oh fuck... hnng that feels really good..." With a few more clumsy fumbles with his fingers, he got Eridan's shirt open, pressing his cool hands up against the warm surface and sliding them lower. He bit his lip as those hands worked on his jeans, unable to do much else but continue breathing hard.

He groaned, arching into his touch, sucking his way along, just above the collarbone, along one side, one hand busy pulling his shirt up and out of the way as much as possible.

He stopped mid-clavicle, his ear nearly grazing Sollux's lips, as he worked his hand down into the man's undergarments, palming his shaft.  
Sollux ran his tongue along the edge of Eridan's ear just before he began touching his cock, at which point Sollux groaned softly, eyes squeezing shut as he ran his nails down Eridan's chest, "Oh damn it, fuck... dude, let... let me get my shirt off..."

Eridan nodded, letting go of him, but wishing he didn't have to. He sat up properly and shrugged off his own vest and shirt, before kicking off his shoes and socks as he turned his attention to his own pants.

Sollux took off his glasses and made quick work of his shirt and dropped it on the floor, eyes glued to the incredibly erotic sight of Eridan desperately trying to get out of his own clothes in his bed. He licked his lips and smirked with a chuckle, "Can't believe you're so into me, you want my dick that bad?"

"I told you before, I don't want your dick, I don't want your ass, I want all a you." Between his whimper and his desperate shimmy out of his last few threads, his words lacked the bite of the last time he said them, but he meant them no less. "Voice too."

Sollux looked up for a second as though recalling something, quirked an eyebrow, and then more or less pounced on him; pinning him down and straddling his hips, leaning down and whispering into his other ear, "Guess that makes you one greedy slut then." Sollux's jeans were open enough for his clothed cock to be pushed up against Eridan's, causing him to shudder after those words were drawled out.

Eridan grimaced, trembling, trapped under Sollux. He half-hated that Sollux had this power over him, at the same time half-hating himself for loving it so fucking much. His hands were about Sollux's hips, sliding under the fabric, fingers digging into him as he tried to pull him closer.

"Come on, do it, can't do shit halfway with me." Sollux rubbed his mouth down the side of Eridan's neck, letting out a little groan against his skin. Fuck he felt so good, he didn't want to stop... Sollux bit down at the base of Eridan's neck before laving his tongue over the bite-marks and sucking with another moan.

Eridan nodded, shivering, as he reached in and palmed Sollux's member again, feeling the hot, damp skin in his hand. He stroked it, roughly, before inching his fingers down to cup Sollux's scrotum, kneading it with his fingers.

Sollux shuddered, just about melting in Eridan's hands as his forehead hit the pillow behind their heads. Sollux cried out softly against Eridan's ear, panting, "God keep fucking going please..." He definitely knew where to touch him and it was so good, he didn't think anyone could actually make him feel like this.

Eridan nodded, his hand continuing to knead and fondle his sack, his other quickly tugging down Sollux's pants, the angle making it hard to move. "Sol...please, let me get these off a you, okay? I gotta have more, an' I think you want it too..."

Sollux pushed himself up lightning fast and shucked his pants off, eyes not leaving Eridan's as he did. He dropped them unceremoniously to the floor, still clad in his briefs as he approached Eridan once again. Eridan did a double-take as he saw what Sollux had been wearing under his trousers. What. Were those...? Fuck, they were. He pulled away from Sollux before he could continue his assault.

"Sol. Are those Spiderman underoos?"

Sollux cocked his head back at the question, eyebrows furrowed, "Did you just say ‘underoos’? Is that some fucking Irish slang for 'fucking awesome underwear'?"  
"Fuck, what are you, six? You're wearin' fuckin' Spiderman kid underwear? Briefs, okay, bad enough, but Spiderbriefs? Holy fuckin' shit, Sol...."

Sollux scoffed and dove back down, hovering just beside Eridan's ear before whispering, "Guess what? I regret very little." His lips sucked at his earlobe while one of his hands rubbed along Eridan's lips, rubbing them and his thumb pushing in and teasing his tongue.

 _No! Bad 'nads! Do not be turned on by a man who wears fucking kid's underwear! Augh, fuck..._ Eridan offered up his best resistance, which wasn't much, merely batting away at Sollux, but it was something, god damn it...at least, until he found himself gripping Sollux by the shoulders and pulling him closer.

Sollux lifted himself up, watching Eridan flush and crumble beneath him with a smirk. He rubbed Eridan's tongue a bit more with his thumb before withdrawing it and sucking it himself briefly. He then leaned down and stole Eridan's lips in a deep kiss, sliding his tongue along Eridan's lower lip before sucking it .

Eridan purred into his mouth, sucking on Sollux's upper lip, as he let himself press closer to Sollux, cupping his sack again, gently kneading his balls.

Sollux ground himself into Eridan's hand, moaning softly. He gripped Eridan's hair tighter, able to smell more of him again. He surrendered to being fondled as he was for a few moments before using one hand to rid himself of the controversial skivvies.

Eridan smirked just a little, trying to convince himself that he was regaining some control. This was a kind of control, wasn't it? Yeah, he was in charge, like there was ever any doubt...he tenderly worked Sollux's scrotum, beginning to palm his shaft again, the sound of Sollux's moans filling him with confidence and a certain joy.

Sollux pulled his mouth back, their lips brushing as he whispered, "You like having all the control, don't you? Gets you off, right?" His tongue slid over Eridan's lip again, "Tell me."

He nipped at Sollux's tongue, nodding, "Yeah. Yeah, I do. Gettin' you writhin' an' wrigglin', it's a thing a fuckin' beauty, leavin' you whimperin' an' needin' me..." He thumbed the head of Sollux's cock, his own standing straight but ignored for the moment.

Sollux hissed through his teeth, a little whimper as those fingers found a nice sensitive spot of his. Dammit, he was supposed to have the upper hand this time. He breathed out against Eridan's mouth, bucking into his hand and rubbing his scalp in his slender fingers.

Eridan found himself nuzzling into Sollux's hand, as he gripped Sollux's shaft a little tighter, pumping his hand a few times before thumbing the head again, teasing the slit with the very tip of his thumb.

Sollux's hardened further, positively throbbing as his hips twisted by Eridan's hand. "God, you're fucking good at this..." Sollux had no snarky quip, instead doing his best to keep himself from getting too worked up until they could actually go further than this.

"Like that, huh?" Eridan sneered, recovering some of his backbone. "Want me to just keep goin'? I guess I can, if you beg pretty." He teased Sollux a little more, pumping his shaft far too lightly, his other thumb rubbing little circles into Sollux's scrotum. 

Sollux licked a streak across Eridan's cheek to his ear before growling, "You're so good at this, bet you jerk it a lot, don't you? You like getting off on bullying boys, don't you?"

 _Nnng, keep it together Eridan!_ He growled, "Men. Not boys. Men. An' not just any men, either. I got fuckin' high standards." He pressed his lips to Sollux's neck, swirling his tongue out and slicking the skin, before he began to suck, before pulling away, "An' you ain't begged yet."  
"I'm not begging to a guy with such 'fuckin' high standards' that I apply for. Must not be that high..." Sollux's hand gripped both of their cocks together, squeezing them as he breathed against Eridan's ear, shuddering, having the most lewd thought that this guy really WAS a bully, he probably made some guy's life hell at some point in his adolescence, the smug motherfucker, and he was going to make him pay in the best way possible. Sollux bit the top half of Eridan's ear, groaning lightly into it and stroking harder.

Eridan gasped, wrapping his hand around Sollux's wrist with a needy whine. He kept toying with Sollux's pouch, closing his eyes and groaning out, "Fuck you, I'm a connoisseur...my standards ain't in question here...

Sollux squeezed their cocks together one final time before lifting himself, smirking, and dropping down between Eridan's legs, staring at his cock and holding his thighs apart. He leaned down and kissed the head, sliding his tongue around it once.

Eridan leaned up on his elbows to watch him, licking his lips. He'd seen Sollux get cozy between his legs before, he'd seen that tongue work its magic...but that devil's grin, fuck, that was something new, hotter than the sun and got him twice as sweaty. "F-fuckin' tease..."

Sollux made a small sound in agreement as he immediately ducked down, taking his cock partway in his mouth and sucking, making the nicest, wet little sounds as he did so, getting adjusted to the size and bobbing his head a few times.

Eridan raised himself up to a sitting position, leaning back just enough to watch Sollux tend to him. Absently, he thought to himself that he could turn this around again, make it about Eridan's power over Sollux, but fuck all if he could think that straight, with the dirty sounds Sollux was making, playing him like the noisiest, filthiest instrument that ever got rejected for band.

Sollux had just planned this to be a cursory tease, but what the hell, he was there anyway. Might as well enjoy the visit into Eridong Central. Maybe it was because he hadn't been with any guys besides Eridan, but somewhere along the line he found he couldn't think of fellatio without thinking about Eridan. God, he was pathetic... He shut his brain off for a moment and pulled back up, dragging his tongue along the underside once, then again. The third time, he let his half-lidded eyes connect with Eridan's before sinking back down onto his cock, swallowing him as much as he felt he could at that moment. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he sucked tightly with a little moan.

Eridan groaned out, "Fuck Sol....fuck...I swear, you're gettin' better at this all the goddamn time..." One hand worked through Sollux's hair, caressing him more gently than the bastard probably deserved, but shit, the guy deserved something for making him feel this good.

Sollux got back up after a minute or so of just sucking him, panting and licking his lips. He scratched his nose and deadpanned, "I've got an inquisitive mind. Makes me want to figure out how to optimize my performance. Keep your legs open." Instead of getting back up or sucking on Eridan's cock again, he sank lower, pushing one of Eridan's thighs back further. Eridan complied without thinking, curious where Sollux was going with this. With only a split second of hesitation, Sollux ducked his head down and flicked his tongue over his entrance, holding Eridan's leg tightly so he couldn't pull back.

"Sol!" Eridan jolted; startled, painfully aroused, and shocked beyond his own belief. Did that just happen? Did Sollux do that, without being ordered, without being told, of his own choice and...fuck, it was just to get him going, wasn't it? Devious bastard. Worse, totally working...He couldn't help but try to rock against Sollux's face.

Sollux chuckled a bit, rolling his tongue around in his mouth for a few seconds to keep his tongue soft and especially wet. He freed his arms to squeeze Eridan's ass both of his hands, spreading him further before dipping back between. He coaxed across his entrance with the point of his very slippery tongue, circling it seemingly without any motive other than to drive him mad.

It was working. It was so working. Eridan was going out of his mind, his hands scrambling through his own hair, not daring to stop him in any way, "God, Sol, more! Keep doin' that even more!"

Sollux readjusted his angle slightly, feeling Eridan relaxing back there, but his muscles tensing everywhere else. He hummed lightly, causing a vibration to be felt by Eridan as he squirmed above him. This was seriously way fun, not the act itself, but just breaking Eridan the fuck down and making him like everyone else, but not. He teased and lapped at his rim before pressing a kiss there and licking up another thick stripe with as much of his tongue as he was able.

"Aaaahngg...more! More, Sol, please, give me more!" He was going out of his mind. His heart was racing and fit to burst, and his loins were in much the same state. He cried out, pleading wantonly, as one hand reached down to grip at Sollux's scalp.

Sollux broke away, trying to catch his breath and grinning like a madman up at Eridan, "Damn, you're... you're crazy." He wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, trying to get a good look at his face as he had been losing it on him.

Eridan gazed back up at him, no malice, only want in his eyes. He looked utterly pathetic, he knew, and he gave exactly zero shits. He palmed his own hardness, stroking himself before Sollux. "You gotta give me somethin', Sol...you can't leave me like this..."

Sollux laughed again, scooting off the bed, "I will, I'll be back in a sec though, try not to jizz yourself without me, kay?" Sollux walked into the bathroom and quickly washed out his mouth, having every intention of kissing him again and not wanting to hear him bitch about a damn thing. This was about making him his bitch. Sollux grinned at himself in the mirror and came back out, opening his desk and pulling out a packet of lube.

Eridan lay, mentally kicking himself for being the obedient little bitch he was, stroking himself way more slowly than he'd have liked to, his hand cupping his own sack this time, his teeth leaving indentations in his lower lip.

Sollux fiddled with the packet of lube in his hand, watching Eridan rubbing himself before snorting slightly, "Jeez dude, I said to NOT jizz yourself." He kneeled back on the bed, cocking his head at Eridan, dropping the packet between them.

"I ain't done that..." was his feeble reply, as he watched Sollux. He had a pretty obvious idea of what was to happen next...and really, the thought of Sollux fucking his ass sounded pretty awesome. Sollux would prep him up good, just like he had done for Sollux, that first night that he had got Sollux’s ass and every time since. Who else could Sollux have been learning to top from?

Sollux looked slightly nervous, eyes darting up between the packet and Eridan's face, "So, how you want to do this? Because I mean, you're better with your fingers than I am..."

Eridan smirked. Good. Sollux was looking to him for guidance, like a good little bottom. "I seen what your fingers can do, Sol, you can take care a me just fine. Go on, you can do it for me."

Sollux raised an eyebrow, his apprehension burning off him in defiance, "Really. You know what?" He threw the lube packet to land in the middle of Eridan’s chest, crawled up behind Eridan and tugged his hair back to expose his neck, "I haven't SEEN but I sure as hell FELT how good YOU are at this, so I think maybe you should go on and do the honors."

Shivers shot through Eridan like lightning, as he whimpered, "Sol..." He obediently fumbled for the lube packet, however, having given at best token resistance, and he opened the packet to slick up his fingers. He ran one well-slicked finger around his entrance, probing in slightly, getting himself used to the feeling of intrusion.

"What's wrong? You've done it before, haven't you? Couldn't have finger-fucked me that good unless you had a little practice..." Sollux whispered to him, continuing to stroke Eridan's hair all the while. Perhaps it would be better to say half-whispering and half-growling, but it was quiet and sultry enough against his ear to get the job done. "Come on, do it, get yourself all slick for me, it's not like I haven't made it easy for you."

Eridan purred, obediently sinking one finger into himself, sliding in and out, slicking himself. He closed his eyes, thinking about how Sollux was going to pound his ass, thinking about how Sollux was ordering him to do these things to himself, and thinking about Sollux's smug-smooth voice commanding him, and in no time a second finger had joined the first, as Eridan finger-frigged himself for Sollux.

Sollux leaned slightly over Eridan's shoulder, watching his hand working himself over. He moved his hands down to his thighs, pulling them apart just a little more, giving him just a bit more of a view. While his left hand went back up to hold onto Eridan's shoulder, his right circled his cock, giving it a firm squeeze and a stroke.

Eridan gasped, his neediness and heat overriding everything, and Sollux had found ways to make him do things God himself couldn't make Eridan do, and he twitched at Sollux's touch. He dutifully continued to finger-fuck himself, purring out Sollux's name, not even caring how he looked or sounded at the moment.

Sollux moved the hand from Eridan's cock back to his own, subtly rubbing himself as he heard Eridan's reactions to his voice and touch, "You getting nice and deep inside yourself? How long has it been since you did this last?"

"...Been a while..." he admitted. It had been a week or two since he gave himself a good fingerbang, but he figured, if Sollux wanted more, he'd have to keep talking to get it out of him.

"Oh, shit, really? I was just guessing is all..." Sollux stroked himself lightly, keeping himself at bay, just enjoying the feel, "So how DO you do it? Hmm? Tell me unless you'd like me to get in front of you and watch."

"Please, just keep talkin', I'll tell you, just, promise me you'll keep goin'..." Eridan groaned, spreading his fingers, imagining Sollux inside him, and eager for this fantasy to be reality. "I get all lubed up, like I done, an' I go to town on me, just like this. Dependin' on what I'm thinkin', I usually stroke my cock, too..."

Eridan could hear the sound of Sollux's flesh as he rubbed himself, could feel the hitch of breath in his chest. Sollux ran his free hand up Eridan's throat again, rubbing his cheek before gripping his hair, "Such a good southern boy you are, bet you'd make your parents proud if they knew I was telling you to spread your fingers and fuck yourself harder."

Eridan growled, "Sol...you tryin' to kill my boner?" His words fell weakly, he doubted he could be more aroused than he was already, as he spread his fingers, in compliance with Sollux's orders. "I just...don't talk about nobody else, Sol. Just you, okay?"

Sollux cackled, running his tongue up the side of Eridan's neck, nipping just behind his ear, knowing just what to say, "You want just me. You want me all to yourself. Tell me all about that, come on, do it."

Eridan closed his eyes, letting his head roll back against Sollux's shoulder, as he continued to work himself. "You, Sol. I want all a you. I'm gonna have all a you, sooner or later."

He felt ridiculous saying it, being the whimpering, sniveling little wreck he was now, but he was still resolute to get his way, eventually. He continued, "Heart an' soul an' asshole an' dick, from your tiniest toes to that bit smug douchbaggeriffic pile a angles you call a face. I'm gonna own you, Sol, an' you're gonna need me more'n anythin' you can imagine..."

"Awfully possessive, aren't you?" Sollux flushed, squeezing his own head with a harsh pant. He released his own cock and grabbed Eridan's asscheek with a smirk, "You about ready? Can't have you too loose or you'll lose all of that charming personality you know I'm just crazy about."

Eridan nodded weakly, "If I'm possessive, it's only cause I know what I want an' I'm picky about it." he pulled his fingers out of himself, almost sad to have them leave him, but eager for Sollux to fill their void.

Sollux languidly crawled around in front of him, kneeling between Eridan's legs and staring directly at his face with a fake look of inquisition, "So tell me. If I'd said no all those weeks ago, if I'd turned you down, what would you have done? You still would've lusted after me? Hmm?" He pressed the undersides of their cocks together, just beneath the head to prompt a quick response.

Eridan squirmed against him, aching for more, wanting Sollux in his arms and between his thighs and in his ears. "Didn' think that far ahead, honestly..."

Sollux nodded as if that was the obvious answer, "Oh that's right. Rich boy. Always used to getting what you wanted." He leaned back, finding the abandoned lube packet on his bed and using its remains to slick himself up, rubbing himself and staring down at that flushed, desperate face and not even caring that the last of the lube was dribbling out onto his bedspread.

That asshole knew full well what he was doing to Eridan. What he was doing by stalling. What he was doing by waiting. What he was doing by not doing. "Ain't I been good, though, Sol? Ain't I made sure you never regretted it? I done things you ain't had done before, an' I done 'em with a smile, an' again if you wanted 'em...ain't that worth somethin'?"

Sollux chuckled, crawling up and pushing their bodies together, his lips inches from Eridan, closing the gap as he said lowly, "You don't have to convince me, Eridan. You're not forcing me to do anything I don't want to. I just like hearing your voice." And then his head was up against Eridan's entrance, Sollux's heart raced. Shit, he was actually doing this, he was actually now fucking a guy instead of the other way around, he was so nervous he couldn't stop now he just... he leaned down and licked Eridan's lower lip.

Eridan licked back, pulling Sollux into a kiss, his lips greedily mashed against Sollux's. He pulled back, smirking just a little. "You want to hear me? You want to hear my voice? Fuck it out a me, Sol.."

At those words, Sollux pushed forward roughly in a fit of passion, throwing his head back and letting out a particularly strangled sounding moan as his entire body shuddered. Fuck, he hadn't expected it to be so tight, so... nnnnfff, it was like his body was fighting him and embracing him at the same time it was so fucking good... "Oh goddammit Eridan..."

Eridan groaned, wincing a little as Sollux penetrated him, trying to will himself to relax, but he was too excited for that. By a wide margin. He wrapped his arms around Sollux's neck, groaning softly as the man pushed his way into him.

Sollux slumped over Eridan, moaning into his ear and breathing hard as he struggled to adjust, pushing in deeper, "Shit Eridan, you're... damn you're so tight..."

He groaned, gripping into Sollux's back. He was rarely one to enjoy anything larger than a finger, two at most, and the few guys he had that he had given ass-privileges to tended to be small enough where it wouldn't hurt so much, but Sollux was different. Even the uncomfortable sting of being filled more than usual had something sweet to it. He was torn between wanting to continue holding onto Sollux, clinging to him, digging his fingers into his back hard enough to bruise him, and wanting to grip his member and jack off in a frenzy.

Sollux pulled back, his stomach angled so that Eridan's erection rubbed between their midsections briefly. He let out a breath and pushed back in again, still not used to the purely euphoric heat around him. He groaned into Eridan's ear, his hands holding him up and digging into the mattress.

Eridan opened his eyes, biting his lip and watching Sollux. Truth told, he had never taken it up the ass quite this way, only on all fours and with someone he'd never see again, but watching Sollux, HEARING Sollux...it was beyond anything. "F-fuck me, Sol...you won't break me, just, fuck me good...like I fucked you, yeah? Do me proper, Sol..."  
Hearing those words caused Sollux to growl, gripping Eridan's hip in one of his hands and pushing forth harder than before, grunting in his ear and sheathing himself, "Holy shit you feel so good I can't think straight..." He withdrew and then pushed back in again, a few more shaky times in a row before going more smoothly; the entire time narrated by

Sollux's hot breath against Eridan's neck.

He groaned, rolling his hips towards Sollux, scratching his nails against his back. "Then don't think, Sol, just fuck me good..."

"Hnnnng fuck, you slut..." Sollux's voice was quite enamored at that moment, squeezing the flesh of Eridan's backside with one hand before withdrawing fast enough to give it a firm slap before continuing. Sollux pushed himself up halfway up, onto his knees and spread Eridan's legs, forcing his way between them nice and hard, fucking him like an object, not like he was a real person.

Eridan slicked his palm with a little precome and gripped himself as Sollux fucked him good and hard, letting himself fall to his senses, groaning, unable to say anything coherent.

"Fucking love your ass you smug asshole..." Sollux kept his eyes shut, bony hands gripping and squeezing those knees as hard as he was able, pushing deep inside Eridan and lingering there a bit on this thrust, pressing and pressing before pulling back.

Eridan pumped himself furiously, feeling, watching, hearing, experiencing Sollux fully. "You treat my ass right, an' it's yours, Sol," he groaned out, rolling against Sollux as best he could, needing more and more and more of him.

Sollux smirked, head still leaned back, "I'll treat your ass like a fucking princess, just for you..." He squeezed a handful of it once again just for emphasis before completely sheathing himself inside, lingering while biting his lip, "God you're so fucking hot..."

He howled out, "Fuck! Just keep talkin', Sol! Do whatever just don't stop...don't stop fuckin' me, an' don't stop talkin'!" He'd hate himself later for being such a weakling, but right now, he knew he wasn't far from completion, and he wanted nothing more than to be under Sollux's power.

"God you really are a slut, such a slutty little princess wanting to have some nice fucking peasant boy to fuck the hell out of her ass. Almost makes me wish I played harder to get, just to see what you would've had to do to convince me to get my dick inside you..." Sollux smirked like a madman again, pulling out and then forcing himself back in, nice and hard, deep inside him, "Come on, beg for more. Make it up to me."

"Fuck, Sol, I don't even know what I would a done if you turned me down, but considerin' the fuckin' fantastic sex we been havin', I'm fuckin' ecstatic you did...I didn' think that far ahead! I wanted you, fuck...I wanted you since I laid eyes on you, an' you wasn't makin' any moves, so I figured I had to if anythin' was gonna happen...fuck, Sol, you don't know how glad I am you let me do you. You don't know how glad I am that you're still doin' me....fuck, just like that Sol, keep goin'!"

Damn the filthy words he was dragging out of Eridan were really turning him on more, fuck... Sollux panted, groping Eridan's ass in his hands and laughing breathlessly, "You really do have a great ass. Nice." He smacked it once. "And fun." Once again. He then squeezed it harder, fucking him rapidly, "Like a slut."

Eridan whined, feeling the sting of each slap, as he bucked against Sollux, feeling the pressure in him coming to a breaking point. "God, keep talkin', Sol, I'm almost there...fuck...fuck me, Sol, I'm beggin' you! Fuck me with your cock an' fuck me with your voice!"

"Yeah, the little slut likes to be hit, likes having her little peasant fuck the shit out of her, come on and say it you slut." He opened his eyes and looked down at that wanton expression on Eridan's face, only wishing he could multitask and actually squeeze his cock right then.

"Fuck...yes! I'm your fuckin' slut! Fuck me hard, fuck the shit out a me, fuck! Fuck, Sol...oooh FUCK!" His last word stretched out into what seemed like hours, as he came, splurting forth over his belly, his body tense and from tip to stern, tight around Sollux's cock as he arched against him, eyes screwed shut and mouth agape.

Sollux gasped as Eridan's body suddenly tightened around him, his orgasm catching up to him unexpectedly and making him growl wordlessly as his seed shot deep in him, trickling and oozing around his cock as Sollux's sighs died down into low whimpers. He bit his lip and opened his eyes once again, staring at Eridan, covered in his cum.

What the hell had just come over him? Sollux thought, quashing the thought temporarily as he pulled out, his fingers still at Eridan's entrance to try and catch some of his cum as it trickled out, "Damn, I think I'm gonna have to wash my blanket. Again."

Eridan stretched, rolling his shoulders. "Tends to happen. Worth it, though.” 

Sollux chuckled once again, "Damn Eridan you do sound like a girl."

Eridan reached over and grabbed a pillow, chucking it loosely at Sollux. "Oh shut your face...I'm a fuckin' paragon a manliness, whether or not you're willin' to admit it."

Sollux easily caught the pillow, "Sure thing, princess." It was amusing to see him get worked up.

"You're a dick," Eridan sighed, trailing a couple fingers through the splatter on his stomach.

"Not nearly as much as you." 

There was a moment of odd silence between the two before Eridan tried to break it, “Shower?"

Sollux considered this and then nodded, wiping his hand on his blanket, "Sure.” 

Sollux followed after him, getting the bottle of soap he used as his shampoo and body wash and turning on the hot water immediately. He leaned over and tested the temperature as Eridan got his shit together.

Seemingly out of nowhere Eridan came up behind Sollux, wrapping his arms around his waist, kissing his neck.

Sollux completely relaxed for a second, a shiver going through him as he grinned, but of course that was unseen by Eridan. He almost collapsed but kept himself upright with the hands gripping the shower edges, "Damn, you got me with that again..."

"Hmm? Fuck, Sol, didn't think you'd be too pissed about a li'l post-fuck affection," Eridan mused, nuzzling into the man's shoulder.

"I'm not... just didn't really expect it. So, what you turn cuddly when you’re the bottom bitch?" He stepped into the shower, immediately soaking his hair.

"Cuddly an' appreciative is two different beasts, Sol."

Sollux shut his eyes, rolling his head back and thoroughly rinsing himself before grabbing his body wash from the floor of the shower, stepping out of the spray far enough to give Eridan room and to scrub his hair.

Eridan stood in the spray for a moment, washing his stomach and his ass, and anywhere else come might have dribbled, before washing his hair. He rinsed down, and scrubbed himself with his own vastly superior body wash.

Sollux watched Eridan rub himself all over, making note of the vast expanse of freckles leading down Eridan's back. 

After rinsing off, Sollux stepped out of the shower, "I'm done, going back to my room now." He got his towel and dried his hair by scraping his towel across it as fast as possible.

Eridan finished washing up, calling after, "Be out in a minute. You might wanna get your sheets an' shit in the laundry." He turned off the water and toweled himself off.

Sollux stopped absently, thinking that was probably a good idea. He wordlessly went back into his room and shut the door, pulling his clothes from the floor back on (somehow managing to separate his from Eridan's with a laugh). He found his laundry soap and gathered his blanket up, walking across the hall to the laundry room. Making quick work of that, he got back in his room; the water in the shower still running. Sollux smirked and settled back in front of his computer as he had been when Eridan FIRST came in. He found his head was heavy at this point though, nodding off slightly.

Eridan finished drying himself, looking in the mirror and deciding that it wasn't worth fixing up his hair again today. Wrapped in just a towel, he went back into Sollux's room, grabbing his glasses from the nightstand, and noticed Sollux was falling asleep. He smacked Sollux lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, you got a guest still, asshole."

"Hey, it's still my room, you dick. You can knock, you know." His voice wasn't exactly poisonous, most likely due to being half awake. Now that he was conscious again, he looked over his shoulder, sliding his own glasses back on, "'Sides, I thought you were gonna go back to yours."

"Yeah, funny story, my pants are here. What, you holdin' 'em for ransom or somethin'?" He gathered up his clothing, making a small pile on the bed, before removing his towel and beginning to dress, shaking out and smoothing each piece of clothing in turn. "C'mon, you can't sleep on a bed with no sheets or blankets, it ain't civilized. get your shit, you're sleepin' in my room."

"You'll make a good mom someday, you know that?" Sollux didn't get up quite yet. When Eridan didn't budge, he rolled his eyes and unplugged his power cord and shut his laptop, "Fine, whatever. This more of your 'appreciation' bullshit?"

Eridan scoffed, beginning to button his shirt, "No, this is because I got serious compunctions about stickin' my dick in a guy who sleeps with no sheets like a fuckin' sow. Human bein's have a little civility in 'em, an' you're the asswipe that only thought to buy one set a sheets."

"Last I checked it was my dick in you. My uncivilized peasant dick that had you screaming like a girl." Sollux picked his laptop up and began walking back toward the bathroom, barefoot as usual. He placed his computer on the stable edge of Eridan's desk, sitting cross-legged on his bed.

"That don't change the compunctions I got." Eridan crossed through their shared bathroom, flopping down on his bed next to Sollux. "Seriously, Sol, you can have a li'l human decency. You got next to no self care goin' on, you're willin' to sleep without sheets or blankets, an' you're wearin'...ugh...fuckin' kid underbritches. Not that you ain't a fun ride, but it's enough to get a guy seriously uncomfortable."

He just tuned out Eridan for most of his rant up until the bit about his underwear. A line had been crossed. "It's not kid underwear, I'm not 10! It's man-sized. Seriously, you wanna check?" He lifted his hips impudently with his eyebrows raised. "Got em in the men's furnishing section and everything. Classy as fuck."

Eridan rolled his eyes, "I'm more surprised they even make 'em in adult sizes...boxers? Yeah, I can see that, but fuckin' briefs? Ugh, I feel like a fuckin' pedo just thinkin' about you in 'em."

Sollux laughed and rolled over on top of Eridan for a minute, "Oh yeah daddy fuck me harderrrrr!"

Eridan made a squawk of pure, unadulterated disgust as he pushed Sollux off, scooting away and curling up. "Eeugh! Sol, there is somethin' genuinely wrong with you. What the everlovin' fuck have I even gotten myself into..."

Sollux couldn't stop laughing, and it took him a good minute or two before he could reply, "Hey, you started it. Bet if I came to your door that day and you knew I didn't have sheets on it you'd have been all like 'oh fuckin' GOD no!' and sprayed yourself with more of that cologne shit to get rid of me."

Eridan glared, before feigning indifference. "Might a. Guess we'll never know," he shrugged, before glaring again, beginning to speak with his hands as much as his words, "But at least I take care a myself. Fuck, you skip meals, don't even pretend like you don't, an' you got your bones pokin' out to prove it. You got no sense a personal groomin', the shampoo you use might as well be dish soap, I got doubts if you even own a hairbrush, you got no style...I mean look at you. Not that there's anythin' wrong with your body or nothin', that ain't what I'm sayin'. But you dress like you can't give a half a damn, an' with a li'l upkeep, you could be hotter'n shit. But no, you just get by on bare minimum an' kid pants."

Sollux picked himself up with an agitated expression, "Ok, first, you sound like a girl. Second, some of us take care of OURSELVES. Ok? Just because everything of yours is designer and whatever doesn't mean I'm a fucking peasant. I make my own money and I'm not starving, I'm just not like you. Besides, my underwear is comfortable." 

Eridan looked Sollux over, "Didn't say you was starvin', was sayin' you get so tied up in your fuckin' comp you forget to eat. An' ain't it just funny how you're the one who keeps sayin' 'peasant'...an' it ain’t about bein' designer--although my stuff is all designer an' a the highest quality, don't you doubt it for a second--but half your shirts don't even fit you, Sol, an' same goes for your pants. That ain't a designer or cost thing, that's just stupid." He rocked up to his feet, putting his hands on Sollux's shoulders. "There's a fuckton a hot under here, an' you keep it hidden. Now, seems to me, that's either by design or by mistake. Which is it?"

Sollux's face flushed at Eridan's words, "I like to be comfortable...! I don't dress for attention you know!"

Eridan smirked, "That much is pretty fuckin' obvious." He tugged at Sollux's shirt, "But, case in point. This here is one a your better fittin' shirts. It's perfectly comfy, ain't it? Why not just buy 'em all in this size?"

Sollux groaned, "Because it's a girls' shirt, you ass. I'm wearing it because it's clean."

“They make 'em in this size for men, Sol. An' it ain't immediately obvious it's for girls...which, out a politeness, I ain't gonna ask why you got a girl's shirt in the first place. Point is, why not wear things that fit you?" 

He ran his hand over Sollux's shoulder. "Baggy might work for some, but you’d look good in things that fit. An' there's nothin' wrong with quality fabrics, either. Here." Eridan walked over to his dresser, pulling out a clean pair of silk boxers and tossing them to Sollux. "Feel that. Tell me that ain't nice."

Sollux rolled his eyes and fell back onto the bed, "WHY are we talking about this?"

"Because I'm right an' you don't understand that yet," Eridan smirked. "Besides, I got no qualms whatsoever seein' you dress sexier."

Sollux pressed his thumbs against the tops of his eyes, "You're so high maintenance. You seriously dressed the entire fucking way up on a weekend to go NEXT DOOR. What was the fucking plan there, dingus? You didn’t think easy-access would have been a better choice?"

"Civility, Sol. It's a thing. Learn it." He flopped back down, smirking, "An' fuckin' you is always an option, far as I'm concerned."

"And you don't see anything weird about putting all your damn clothes on just to get them off again?" Sollux arched an eyebrow at Eridan, they were at eyelevel at this point.

"No weirder'n wrappin' a present that's just gonna get unwrapped," he shrugged, an air of smug indifference about him, "Besides, a guy comports himself proper if he got any aims on bein' a gentleman. I'm a man a worth, Sol, not 'cause I'm rich, not 'cause I wear designer shit, not 'cause I listen to quality music an' maintain myself, but because I'm a gentleman. All that other shit just comes from that."

Sollux visably rolled his eyes and rolled onto his back, "And where does the all the gay come in?"

Eridan chuckled. "Ass, mouth, an' across the stomach, apparently."

Sollux turned his head back over, looking utterly baffled for a second before the joke sank in, "Oh GOD, gross!" He smacked the side of Eridan's head.

Eridan cackled, laying back against the bed. "Your face! Hahaha!"

"So. Mature. Absolutely fucking mature." Sollux shut his eyes with a grin unwillingly splitting his face.

Eridan laughed, "From the guy in superhero briefs. It was hilarious, you just don't like admittin' it."

Sollux shrugged, "I don't even really like Spiderman, I just like blue and red. The new movies are okay though."

"Not too surprised about the blue an' red...bet you got Superman ones, too, don't ya?"

"Nope. That's the only pair. I have boxers you know, I just didn't expect my bootycall to give me shit about comfy ‘underoos‘."

Eridan grinned at him, "You didn' seem to mind too much. Besides, maybe sometimes I visit without plannin' to fuck you, but open to it if it happens. You ever consider that?"

Sollux contemplated that for a moment, realizing the folly in his earlier thoughts. His eyes darted to look at Eridan for a second before looking back at the ceiling, "Yeah, because

I'm such a great host with my one set of sheets and impeccable manners."

"Hey, I'm allowed a bad habit," Eridan smirked, stretching out, draping an arm around Sollux.

Sollux squirmed from Eridan's arm, "You calling me a bad habit?"

"More a an addiction," he said, kissing Sollux's cheek. "Still ain't sure about the bad part."

Sollux had no response to that except to give a little sound in the back of his throat, the warmth of his blush was quite evident to Eridan.

Eridan smiled, "Why? You wanna be my bad influence? You like bein' my drug?"

Sollux bit his lip, thinking back to just an hour ago, how amazing he felt, how each time just kept getting better, "Pfft, you and your 'compunctions', I swear."

Eridan moved to lay down, his head resting on Sollux's thigh. "What of 'em? Me an' my high standards ain't goin' anywhere, you know."

Sollux allowed himself the small luxury of twining his fingers in Eridan's hair, his nails raking along his scalp. He really did feel amazing. All over. He only wished he lacked the shame to lean down and smell him all over again, thinking spitefully to himself dammit no you already just fucked the guy...

Thinking on it, Sollux just had to ask. “So what the fuck is with that whispering thing, anyway?”

Eridan flushed a little, but tried to play it off with a shrug, “It ain't a big deal. There's just somethin' intimate about whisperin' in somebody's ear that does shit to me. An', despite you havin' a lisp like you got two tongues, you got a voice I don't mind hearin'.” He smirked and regarded Sollux, “It's the dumbass shit you say that's the problem, but thankfully when we're fuckin' we can keep things to a topic we both like.”

Pleased enough to have a weapon against Eridan, Sollux let the comment slide, this time. He smirked and gave his hand a squeeze, “Anything else worth mentioning? No gross stuff, though; if you fuck dolphins or some shit, I insist you keep it between yourself, God, and the poor assholes who work at Sea World.”

“Fuck you asymetrically in the left nostril with a sandpaper dildo,” Eridan replied, almost cordially, as if he were delivering a term of endearment. Sollux laughed and gave him a look over his glasses, and Eridan smirked back, “Ain't that the fun a havin' kinks? Findin' 'em out?”

Sollux rolled his eyes; of COURSE he wanted to be an enigma. He couldn't just make it easy...he was snapped out of his thoughts when Eridan asked, “How 'bout you? You get any particular cravin's that might be worthwhile for me to be findin' out about?”

Sollux thought. Dirty talk? He knew already. Fashionable assholes in tight pants? Ditto. Blow jobs? Obviously, but that wasn't even a kink, it was just sex; who listed sex as being their kink? That would be like saying one's favorite food was the kind that goes in the mouth. He briefly remembered the fantasy he'd had on that fateful drunken night not so long ago, and it brought a flush to his cheeks. But no, god no, there was no way in the cosmos he'd own up to that easily.

Eridan saw his blush, however, and pressed him, “Oh, you're thinkin' of somethin', ain't you? Spill it; I can't make those fantasies a yours come true if I'm just shootin' in the dark...what's got you so worked up?” He smirked, noting how Sollux was staring at him, “Somethin' about me?”

Sollux shook his head, trying not to stare at Eridan's lips, “Nothing. It's weird. It's not a thing.”

Eridan pressed on, “Come now. You wouldn' be starin' at me like that if you didn't have somethin' in mind. Lemme hear it, unless you don't want me deliverin' whatever it is that's got your li'l heart all aflutter.”

Shit, he had to say something. He shrugged, dragging his eyes away and trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. “I guess I like your voice. It's stupid as shit, but it's unique.”

"Mmm, really?" Eridan knew that Sollux liked the dirty talk, but the thought that there was something particular about Eridan that he liked set him all warm and cozy inside. "Does things to you when I talk, huh?"

Sollux tore his eyes away from Eridan's as he nodded, "It's hard to get out of my head."

"Mmmmm? You don't say," he purred, smooth and melodic, staring up at Sollux. "Now, you'll forgive me for wonderin' if this is a strictly sexual interest you got goin', or you're just an all-around fan a my tones."

Sollux's thighs shifted just the slightest bit, "Both..." He sighed, "You're kind of like having an A&F model vying for my attention all the time."

"You don't seem to mind too much, Sol," he grinned. "Fuckin' fortunate, you are, gettin' all a my attention when we both know you want it so bad. You're one lucky bastard, gettin' all a me to yourself like this."

Sollux wasn't about to disagree, "Still don't get why. You got all this money and you have such high standards that somehow I apply for?"  
Eridan's brow furred a little, as he sat up, turning to look Sollux in the eye. "You keep actin' like you can't figure why I'm into you. I'm startin' to think that ain't just you bein'

modest, either...You're hot. You're smart. You're a complete douche, but a sexy one all the same. Do you honestly not get this?"

"It's not an act! I really DON'T get why. You know why? Because I've never had anyone actually like me, okay?" His face was pink from his compliments, avoiding eye contact as well,

"I went to school for SCHOOL and worked my ass off all the time. I didn't really have the TIME to act on any urges I had." He failed to mention the massive avalanche of insecurity brought on by his sexuality, since that was basically moot at this point.

Huh. Eridan was a little shocked. He'd gotten the gist that he was Sollux's first, but...no interest? Either Sollux was completely oblivious (likely, given all observational data Eridan had gathered), or he had come from a place with an epidemic of lack of taste at nigh biblical plague proportions. Possibly both. "Sol, you just...are. I don't much fuckin' care if nobody realized it before I got to you, I don't much fuckin' care if you didn't realize it ‘fore now, but I ain't gonna stand for you not realizin' the truth. You're hot as shit, an' worth bein' around, even considerin' what an asshole you are. Can you at least accept that I'm sayin' this with complete honesty?"

Sollux looked back at Eridan and let his lips descend upon his again, much slower than before, a moan of pleasure in his throat, cradling the back of Eridan's head in his hands.

Eridan kissed back, wrapping his arms around Sollux, pulling him close and into his lap. He'd have to work on the guy, poor idiot honestly didn't know his own beauty. It'd be a long road, sure, but Eridan was up for the challenge.

Sollux pulled back up, "Okay, this position isn't working for me." He pulled Eridan up as well, tugging him by his shirt against his lips for a quick kiss in a more comfortable position, "You also smell really good. All the time."

Eridan pecked back, smirking, "Funny, I seem to recall somebody gettin' on my case about wearin' that cologne before..."

"I was on your case about using it as disinfectant to get the presence of unwashed peasant dorm-mates out of your sight and your filthy thoughts."

"There you go, puttin' words in my mouth that wasn't ever in my head to start with. Tell you what, if I ever think a you as an unwashed peasant, or anythin' else, I'll drag you to the shower an' get you cleaned proper myself. The cologne is 'cause I like it." He quietly refused to acknowledge that he had honestly purchased the blend because of its many purported aphrodisiac components.

"I like it too…" Sollux smirked at the thought of Eridan forcing him to shower with him, curling his fingers in his hair and tugging him back for another kiss, sucking his lower lip and pressing his body up against Eridan's once again.

Eridan pressed against Sollux, kissing back, purring against him. Ahh, needy, eager Sollux, he'd missed him. He pulled at Sollux with one arm around his waist, one at the nape of his neck.

Sollux pulled back, keeping their bodies as close as before. Sollux kept their lips brushing as he smirked, "You do really... awful things to me."

Eridan brushed his lips back with a quick kiss, smirking smugly, "An' you LOVE IT."

Sollux didn't answer back, returning that quick kiss before pulling back, laying back on Eridan's bed, "I should make you a playlist of music I like. I'm really into music."

"I noticed," Eridan smiled, glancing over at his computer. "Got no appreciation for it, but you seem to like it okay."

"I hear music in my head a lot." He almost said especially during sex, but bit his tongue, "You open to having something playing when we fool around"?

Eridan chuckled, "No question. Next time? Let's do that."

"Well we'd have to figure out a playlist ahead of time otherwise you'd end up cracking up laughing halfway through."

"An' you wouldn' know half the shit on it," he shot back, taking on a mocking tone, "An' if Daft Punk ain't on it, I'm sorry, but I think we might be through."

"Dude. I have the entire Tron soundtrack. And dubstep remixes."

"Yeah, but you got anything from Discovery?"

Sollux scrolled down, "YES I do. I also really like that remix they did for Beck."

Eridan rolled his eyes, "Well, that's good. There’s hope for you yet, even if a lot a this is shit. Curiosity begs me to ask this, what's your first go-to for fuckin', then?"

"Any version of End of Line or those dubstep Legend of Zelda remixes."

Eridan rested his head on Sollux's shoulder, smiling. "You're such a fuckin' nerd. Quality shit, though."

"Damn right." Sollux nodded, rubbing his cheek against Eridan's hair and inhaling.

Eridan nuzzled back. "Yeah, that's goin' on the list. Next up?"

 


	21. Sollux: Ruin your own day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee and fun.

It was the last day of the semester before everyone was to go home.

Sollux waited on Eridan's bed while the other guy did his hair. He didn't exactly mind; not only had Sollux become well-acquainted with Eridan's preening routines but the flashes of his body and his skin were rather nice to be peeking at through the open bathroom door. He swung his feet a little bit of the edge of the bed, but this could only interest him for so long before he decided to do a little snooping. He reached over to his desk and grabbed Eridan’s camera and rifled through the SD cards tossed haphazardly in the drawer until his eye fell upon one that was marked with a swipe of...was that nail polish? Well, whatever, might as well check that one out.

Meanwhile Eridan busied himself in the bathroom; damn these bad-hair days. He wanted his hair just so, but it wasn't cooperating in the least. Maybe he was due for a trim...fuck, it's not easy being this perfect. He scowled at his reflection in the mirror, completely engrossed in his hair, not noticing anything outside of the bathroom.

Sollux turned on the camera and began browsing through the photos. At first it was all the usual moody art school fare, shadows off of things to create artificial melancholy, a broken swingset, more outside crap. But soon enough he got to a few pictures that felt like they were touching on something less self-preening. His favorite was one of a wide yellow flower with several small insects laid inside with their legs in the air at the bottom of each petal. When Eridan tried, he was really an excellent photographer. Sollux kept his praise to himself, naturally, and stumbled upon something far more interesting. A male model leaning against a wall, some big beefy guy with long hair, dressed up pretty nicely. The next photo was the same model seemingly embarrassed, rubbing at his forehead. He looked a little shiny, maybe kind of sweaty?

Sollux looked up briefly as Eridan growled a few curses at his hair, his mirror, his hairbrush, and the makers of his product, and various gods and prophets. Typical for a bad hair day, Eridan tended to be more florid whenever the weather made his hair harder to tame.

Sollux turned his attention back to the camera, and the fairly innocent photographs began to take on a perverse bent, focusing on parts of his body, eventually breaking down to the model worshipping the photographer's feet and sucking the cock that by now Sollux had come to know quite well. Sollux's stomach dropped and he blushed deeply, biting his lip. He checked the dates on the pictures, all from this semester but weeks before the two of them had started hooking up. Conflicted, Sollux continued to flip through the photos; on the one hand, this guy was like some unholy amalgamation of every shitty romance novel cover since the late eighties. Was this the type Eridan liked? Sollux couldn't help but compare against this long-haired model and found himself sorely lacking. On the other hand, there was pretty much no way to deny he was feeling a little more heated with each passing photo. Traitorous dick. He turned the camera off at one of the pictures of the model touching himself; somewhere a line seemed to have been crossed. He didn't know this guy. This frighteningly hung, impossible-to-unsee guy. He cleared his throat and tucked his feet back up on the bed, trying to play it cool like he hadn't been snooping. Who the hell was he anyway? Sollux had never heard of him from Eridan, was he just some random model? A perk of the photography track? _Damn..._

About this time, a can of hairspray came flying out of the bathroom, "AN' FUCK YOUR COUCH TOO." Eridan turned on the sink and quickly rinsed some of the product out of his hair before briefly toweling off and stomping to the closet to get a hat.

Sollux's eyes widened behind his sunglasses before snorting a bit with laughter, "Problem?"

Eridan flipped two middle-fingers up, as his only way of reply, before even looking at Sollux. Instead, he focused on yet another mirror that hung from his closet, and tried to get his beanie just right. Only when he was satisfied did he deign to turn to face Sollux, though the man seemed a little...off. He quirked an eyebrow. "Somethin' up, Sol?"

Sollux deflected the comment with another chuckle, "No, it's always hilarious to see you turn into such a fucking diva over your damn hair."

Eridan gave two one-finger salutes again, and pulled a vest from the closet that matched his hat, pulling it over his button-down shirt--silk of course, closely fitted and shirt tails untucked--over his slacks. A matching scarf, and the outfit was complete. He grabbed his messenger bag. "Fine, ready when you are."

Sollux rolled his eyes at the idea that he had anything else to do in Eridan's room, "Well, let me just gestate here for the next week or so I can have some apples to bring." He hopped off the bed and walked to the door with his thumb in his pocket, grabbing his coat.

Eridan made a quick grab for Sollux's ass, squeezing it, as they left. He locked the door behind them, as if nothing had happened, though a mocking grin on his face.

"So we're meetin' Ara's beau, huh? Anythin' I ought to be aware of before we meet up?" Eridan asked, as they walked through the chilled streets just off of campus. There was an odd blend of fatigue and excitement in the air that one often finds near colleges around finals, and several of the buildings had their Christmas lights on, beckoning students to come in and buy gifts to bring last-minute souveniers and gifts home to their parents. Soon, the bars in town would be filled with students toasting to the coming vacation and congratulating themselves on surviving the semester. Eridan smirked, “An' have you had the conversation yet a how regular I been plowin' you?”

Sollux hid any potential embarrassment behind a huff and an eyeroll, "She knows you're a constant pain in my ass in a non-literal sense," he spat, nudging Eridan with his elbow. “And she's very much aware that you can go get fucked. If she wants to take subtext from that, that's her own business.” He looked at Eridan only to be met with a raised eyebrow, and he threw up his hands with an exasperated sigh. “She knows we fucked, but amazingly, we have other things to talk about besides you, fuckstick.”

More or less satisfied with the answer, Eridan kept in step with Sollux as the cafe came into view. “Do I have to watch my language or avoid any topics, any shit like that?" he asked. Although he had clearly established that Sollux was his delightful fucktoy, he did care about him, and didn't want to make a completely bad impression on his friends. “Ara's an' alright dame an' all but I don't aim to go makin' matters awkward by sayin' the wrong thing.”

"Nope, you can be just as big an asshole as you usually are, just try not to insult HER or anything. As for Captain Stallion, I never met the guy. He's supposed to be a dreamboat but who the fuck even knows." He pulled the door open to the cafe and looked around for Aradia. He subconsciously leaned his hip back against Eridan's without thinking.

Eridan smirked, leaning into Sollux. Aradia waved to them both, getting up from a table and coming over to hug Sollux. "Sollux! Hi!" she kissed him on the cheek, which Sollux accepted with a chuckle, before offering Eridan a big hug which surprised both him and Sollux. "Great to see you too! Oh, I like your hat!”

Eridan reached up and patted the hat that was currently hiding the travesty of his hair. “Yeah,” he said, trying to play it off, “I was just thinkin' people don't wear hats enough, you know? An' a damn shame it is, too, seein' as accessories make the man every bit as much as clothes do.”

Sollux rolled his eyes and shook his head, snorting to himself. Honestly, it was kind of cool that his best friend got along with his...well, anyway. Someone was missing, however. "Um, so where's this Equius guy anyway?"

Eridan froze immediately, staring at Aradia. She didn't notice, only smiled brightly at Sollux. "Oh, he's on his way. You remember what a wreck Nepeta drives, right? It died again, it sounds like it’s just the battery though, so he went over to give her a jump. He should be here soon. Come on, what are you guys having?"

Sollux strolled over and contemplated the menu--as if he hadn't seen it a hundred times before, this was where Aradia worked, after all--before getting himself some green tea. He went over to the little island of coffee condiments and squeezed himself an entire dixie cup full of honey and fetched himself a spoon.

Eridan, slightly panicked, talked himself down in his own mind. _Okay, fuckbuddy's best friend is dating former fuckbuddy. Current fuckbuddy doesn't know, current fuckbuddy's friend probably doesn't either. Would Eq tell her? Shit no. Calm down, it's fine. It's fine. It's absofuckinlutely fine._ He ordered a half-caf soy latte with caramel and foam. 

Meanwhile, Aradia got herself something that was far more desert than coffee and a large strong black coffee for Equius, and joined Sollux at a table. Sollux sat in his seat crossleggedly and sipped his tea and ate his honey, adorable just licking honey off a spoon. He looked at Aradia, "He's a reliable guy, huh? How long you been seeing him now? I forget."

Aradia slid to the seat by Sollux's side, and Eridan took his other side. "Oh, since October, though I had the biggest crush on him for a while. He's big and intimidating, but he's actually very sweet and a lot of fun! A gentleman through and through and fantastic in the bedroom!" she laughed, and Eridan managed to choke on a mouthful of foam.

Sollux's eyebrows raised in slight awkward discomfort, "Well then, that's pretty awesome." His eyes darted over to the obviously-perturbed Eridan; hearing about some straight chick's sex life was enough to make him uncomfortable? Damn, Sollux hadn't figured him for such a prude.

"I'm very happy with him," she smiled, sipping her drink. 

Eridan wiped his mouth, trying to save face, "No offense, wasn't expectin' you to be forthcommin' around so many pryin' ears. Gossip over text is one thing but you never know who's listenin'." 

Aradia rolled her eyes, "Sex is fun! Sex with someone I love is wonderful! I don't see a reason to associate stigma to it, is all."

Sollux had chuckled at Eridan's answer, but at Aradia's, he looked a little embarrassed, "I guess, I never really um, thought about it like that." He tucked his feet under him as he licked another spoonful of honey.

"Yeah, but, being honest? I admit, it's pretty funny to see how flustered Equius gets when I talk about it so openly. That's not why I do it, but his blush is definitely a bonus, haha! Oh, Sollux, it looks like you've got a blusher, yourself!" she giggled, and Eridan tried to cover his cheeks with his napkin. “Is he always this way around you?”

"I have to admit, the moe aspect is new," Sollux answered quietly, not wanting to be overheard admitting to anything more than he had to. Eridan had a point, openly admitting to things in a public setting was a little different than in private. Maybe not as bad as he had thought it would be, but definitely different.

"Just who the fuck are you callin' moe, you tsundere cockbite!" Eridan hissed, getting more uncomfortable than he had anticipated. Anyway, wasn't he the dom here? It wasn't just that he'd have to sit face-to face with a one-night stand, and it wasn't just that he didn't want to seem to lose his cool in front of Sollux (or Aradia, who he'd gotten kind of fond of). This was, however, turning into a perfect storm of awkwardness that couldn't possibly get any shittier. 

Aradia just laughed and idly stirred her drink, "You guys are fun! I'm going to have to hang out with you together more often!" 

Sollux was rather entertained, himself. The previous concerns slipping from his mind, he simply enjoyed Eridan's discomfort for the moment. Maybe it was Aradia, she could be pretty unsettling sometimes. He smirked and sipped his drink, making a mental note to hug her just for that later, "Suits me fine, now that I'm not the sole center of your fascination, that means I'll get to see you work your creepy obsessive charm on someone else for a change." He turned to Eridan and pointed to Aradia with his honey-dipped spoon, “I remember when this girl was six, following me around and yelling about my magic eyes.”

“Hey, I didn't yell! I squealed. It's more ladylike," she corrected him, pulling her phone out from her pocket. It was after the time Equius had estimated he would arrive, but there hadn't been any texts or calls from him.

"They are nice," Eridan admitted, settling down for the moment. 

Aradia quirked an eyebrow, a wry smile playing on her lips. "They are, aren't they? You know, he really doesn't let too many people see them. You must be really special to him indeed. I'd take it as a compliment, if I were you. A sign of trust.”

“You're seriously making too big a deal here, lambchop,” Sollux said, shifting in his seat. It was weird, how he liked it when Eridan said that. But why did Aradia have to go and say that? Sure it may have been true, but that was no excuse...

There was a jingle at the door and Aradia jumped up to her seat, bumping the chair against the wall. "Equius!" she called, bouncing to the door to greet him with a big hug and a kiss.

Equius smiled, easily catching her embrace and cradling her against him, kissing the exposed joined flesh of her shoulder and neck, "Hello, lamb." 

She tittered, kissing his temple as he did, "Goodness, you're getting less shy all the time!" She helped herself to another quick peck on his lips, slipping an arm around his waist, as she guided him to the table.

Sollux turned to notice it was the same male model from Eridan's pictures. His heart and jaw dropped at the same time, immediately looking at Eridan, bare-faced shock across his features.

Eridan, however, could not see Sollux's reaction, as he panicked and began mentally repeating _be cool, for god's sake, be cool_ over and over in his mind. He turned, watching the two take their seats, and only then he saw Sollux staring at him with a palpable anger that tinted his ears red. As soon as Eridan made eye contact with him, however, Sollux looked away in apparent annoyance.

When Equius noticed Eridan at the table he was being led to, his heart jumped and his eyes widened behind his sunglasses. He was not so panicked, however, that he could not see how Eridan tried to stay calm as well as Sollux's subtly livid stare at him. This was going well.

Aradia, eyes locked on Equius, quirked an eyebrow. She looked at Eridan and then to Sollux. Something was certainly afoot, and she was far too curious not to find out...but perhaps this was not the appropriate time. Sollux probably knew, but, introductions first. "Equius, my love, this is my oldest, truest friend Sollux, and his partner Eridan. Gentlemen, this is my boyfriend Equius."

Eridan swallowed hard, nodding in greeting.

Sollux jumped at the way Eridan was introduced, his face going red, "Aradia don't say it like that!" Not that he particularly wanted to be referred to as Eridan's boyfriend, but especially not at that moment.

Equius nodded his head slightly, rather uncertain as to how to proceed with this, clearly Sollux had some sort of problem with him. Did he know of his tryst with Eridan? He hoped that Eridan had the foresight to not say anything about it, though he knew how the man was capable of running his mouth. On the other hand, for all he knew, Sollux was just as likely to do the same, and if Aradia's friend knew...oh god. He needed a towel.

Aradia showed Equius to the empty seat between herself and Eridan, who shifted uncomfortably. "I got your coffee for you," she pecked his cheek. She looked between the three men, completely certain that this was not how this meeting was meant to be going. There was a secret, something she wasn't in on, and she needed to know. Even if she wasn't directly involved, her curiosity demanded answers. Besides, if something didn't happen this was going to be the most awkward cup of coffee of her life. Batting her eyelashes, she turned to Sollux and sang sweetly. "Solly? I need your help with something, can I speak with you privately?"

Equius nodded and lightly rubbed the back of her hand, "Thank you." He was mildly panicking, was Sollux going to say anything?

Sollux nodded, eager to get away from Eridan as quickly as possible, "Sure Aradia, you just know how I love that monkier."

Eridan whimpered just a little, turning to his drink and not daring to look at Equius. Fuck. Here he was, Equius, and worse yet, Sollux seeing him a complete wreck, and what did Sollux even look so mad about. Fuck, did he know? HOW did he know? Did he hack into Eridan's computer and find the saved photos? Did he find the SD card? _Fuck fuck fuck._

Aradia took Sollux by the wrist and pulled him from the table, leaving Eridan and Equius to sit alone in uncomfortable silence, "Yeah, yeah, mister sarcasm. Come on, you're almost out of honey and you need more diabetes." 

She pulled him into the breakroom, away from curious ears and prying eyes. Sure, not strictly allowed seeing as she was off and he didn't work there, but she needed answers immediately. "Okay, spill it, what the hell is going on? I know SOMETHING is."

Sollux looked as uncomfortable as he felt and tried to put up an ignorant front, dropping it before he barely even got the first shrug completed. "I saw pictures of him on Eridan's camera. I was bored and I happened to look and...look. It wasn't from anytime soon or anything, it was from like months ago before I even started hanging out with Eridan but... I dunno I was just..." He couldn't quite work out the word 'jealous'.

Aradia put her hands on her hips and tilted her head. Sollux seemed really hurt by this, whatever it was. What did it have to do with Equius...oh. She raised an eyebrow, and gestured towards the breakroom door, "Pictures of him? Equius mentioned doing some modeling and I saw some pictures from that, but he seemed not too keen on giving me any details."

Sollux didn't look at her as he answered, "Um, just the usual kind of stuff, you know? ...he was shirtless in a few." He looked over at Aradia with a grin that seemed a hair closer to his usual winning personality, "You really know how to pick 'em, he's really built."

She smiled briefly, eyes drifting away, "...Yeah..." She shook her head, "but that isn't enough for this much weird to happen. You look furious, and a shirtless picture or two isn't enough to do that, is it?"

Sollux nodded with a sigh, "Um, do you know if he's into guys or anything?"

"It's never come up..." she began, realization setting in, her eyes widening, "Oh jeez, are you saying they were together? Just what kind of photos were they?"

Sollux felt like absolute shit at that moment, she and Equius really were cute together and he was going to single-handedly wreck it by telling her the truth. He was also kind of embarrassed to relay what was in the pictures in words, "He was, uh. Um, blowing him. And sweating. And licking his feet."

In a move that surprised both of them, Aradia burst out into laughter. She couldn't help herself! "I knew for sure it was him when you said sweating. Oh my god, how awkward is this! You said these photos were from a while back? Like, before October, right?"

Sollux looked up with raised eyebrows, "Yeah, September, I think. You're...taking this awfully well."

She shook her head, still chuckling. "He told me I was the first one he made love to, and believe me, we're going to have words...but if he had a few purely sexual dalliances before me, who am I to be upset about that? Honestly, I'm kind of curious to see the photos if neither of them minds..." she giggled. "But what about you? You're pretty clearly upset about this...what's going on in that mind of yours?"

"Well I'm..." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose in this thumbs, "Well look at him and look at me. Clearly I have none of that built shit going on, you know?"

Aradia made a sympathetic noise and pulled Sollux into a big, soft hug, "You're perfectly good-looking, Sollux, I've been telling you so for years. You don't have to be super-built, you don't have to be anything other than yourself.. And clearly somebody thinks you're hot, because I saw the way Eridan keeps close to you and checked your butt out when I greeted you. So stop being so down on yourself! Maybe if I say it enough times, you'll finally listen, but you're perfectly fine as you are."

Sollux snorted a laugh into her shoulder while tightening his embrace around her, "Thanks Aradia..." When he pulled back, he was smiling. Curse her infectious amusement, who did she think she was, making things so much easier to handle? "If you want the truth, ED's sort of like a spoiled little kid, I get this feeling he'd keep me naked and on a leash if I wouldn't bite his fingers off at the idea of it."

She kissed his cheek again, "Kinky, I like it. Seriously though, are you okay?"

He nodded, holding up his dixie cup, "I need more honey. You think we kept them crazy long enough?"

"Eh, let 'em stew for a minute or two. I'm going to have words with Equius pretty soon, and they can just be uncomfortable for a bit. Besides, more Sollux-hugs are always good." She squeezed him again.

Sollux hugged her again, "Yeah, but I want to see the look on ED's face when you completely ruin his day. And like I said, need honey."

She giggled and led him back to the condiments island, getting herself a little honey in a cup with Sollux following suit. When she faced the two back at the table, she put on her best serious-business face and sat down, sipping her drink.

Sollux did his best to keep a straight face as well, darting his eyes between the two men. Equius tried to subtly wipe his forehead with the back of his arm, but said nothing.

Eridan wished the chair would just swallow him already. The last few minutes of waiting were torture, and he'd probably be lucky to make it out of this without drinks thrown in his face, much less having any chance of his thing with Sollux continuing.

"Equius," Aradia said with nigh vulcan stoicism, "We may have to talk later." She took another sip of her drink, looking to Sollux and trying not to burst into giggles. Sollux was just barely succeeding at not laughing. 

Equius tried to maintain a poker face, his mind racing over all the unworthy things he did and was before turning to her and speaking rapidly, "I adore you Aradia, I promise I do. I can't stand the thought or idea of you being upset with me. I pledge myself to you as I always have, you're the only one. That was from far before I even knew that you mirrored my affections as well, please..."

Eridan muttered a weak, "traitor..." that probably couldn't be heard by anyone else.

Aradia melted, smiling softly, taking his hand, "Equius, sweetie, I know. I love you, I was only fooling, but we are talking about this later, okay?" She kissed his cheek before returning to her drink, but did not let go of his hand, squeezing it in hers.

Sollux looked at their hands and his face relaxed. Wow, he really was devoted to her. It was really touching to see. He glanced over at Eridan as Equius said softly, "Yes, Aradia."

Eridan looked pathetic, almost wistfully at how they held each other's hands. Fuck if he ever would get a thing like that, because he sure as shit didn't deserve it. He looked apologetically at Sollux, before fixing his eyes to the floor, "I, uh...guess you found 'em. Sorry."

There was a dull burning in Sollux's eardrums that left sound going fuzzy for a moment. He shook his head and cleared his throat, "Yeah. No big deal though." 

It wasn't, it seriously was not a big deal, was not important. There wasn't a fight to be had here or anything, there was just a gaping hole that seemed to lurch with more pain the longer he dwelled on it. Being alone was probably the best option if he could just keep it together.


	22. Equius: Prepare for an awkward conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aradia and Equius discuss certain very important matters.

Nobody lingered at the cafe for much longer. There were words that needed to be said in privacy and only precious few hours before everyone had to go their separate ways; the semester was over and the next day, it would be time to go home. 

The hummer pulled into Equius's driveway, its occupants sitting with the still present sound of air blowing from the heater with no other accompaniment. Aradia kissed Equius's cheek before slipping out of the car, coming around to his side and waiting for him with a placid expression. Equius could not help but feel anxiety thrash in his gut from such uncomfortable silence.

Equius came outside and steeled himself, unsure of what exactly she had to say. She had said she wasn't upset with him, but even still he couldn't help but go through all his faults in his mind. He unlocked the door and brought her upstairs, both shedding their coats and shoes by the door. 

When he sat down on the bed, Aradia sat beside him, taking his hand in hers and asking simply, "Mind telling me what happened from the beginning? I know it was before we were together, but I'm curious."

Equius flushed deeply, unable to look at her as he explained, "I was modeling for Eridan a couple of months ago for class and... I found myself rather... excited by his directorial style. I found that I liked how he commanded me..."

"Commanded?” Her head tilted curiously, and her expression held no sign of disappointment or disdain. “It's okay, sweetie, I'm not judging."  
He became less tense at Aradia's disclaimer, but still seemed embarassed about admitting it, "The way he told me to pose. Eventually it gave way to him telling me how to please him."

“I'm guessing you did so because you wanted to. Do you...miss being with him?" she asked, her eyes cast down at the large hand in hers.  
Equius shook his head, "No. It was strictly a one-time event. I'm rather embarassed that he still has those pictures though. It was a problem that occurred to me almost immediately after it happened. I only went back to him one more time in order to retrieve the photographs I had commissioned. By that point I..."

"You...?"

He lifted his gaze to hers briefly and then lifted his glasses to the top of his head, "By that point, I had met you. You were a radiant gem of joy and light from first glance and I was smitten. I couldn't imagine you reciprocating those feelings, but at Nepeta's behest I made the effort to try."

She smiled softly, the timeline gradually piecing together, "Oh how I am glad that you listened to her!” Nuzzling his shoulder, she added teasingly, “So does this mean I don't have to worry about him stealing you away?"

Equius chuckled lowly, pressing his cheek to the side of her head, "Not at all. We were very incompatible even during the modelling session. He is... somewhat unpleasant."

Aradia chuckled, "I don't know, I get along with him well enough but I think he stays on better behavior around me. Sollux talks about him often, more than I think he realizes.” With a soft press of her lips to his cheek, she sighed and squeezed his hand. “So, where does that leave us? I worried for a moment that I might not be able to compete with a guy, if that was a thing, but it seems to me there's a lot more that I don't know about you than I realized...I think maybe it would be best if you told me."

His grip tensed slightly and he stiffened, but the gentle warmth of her hand around his own relaxed him. She had been very understanding thus far, and...perhaps she was right. With a heavy breath to steady himself, he looked towards the ceiling. "You may have infered this from our discussion but being ordered to obey gets me excited. I doubt you're aware of this but you've done it yourself. Only a few times, I assure you! Unless you did not realize it."

She filed that information away; she had noticed that he took direction well, but hadn't realized that was quite so exciting to him. "And that's why you and Eridan, er...you know?"

Equius nodded, "That was essentially the only reason that the photoshoot turned out the way it did. He noticed how excited I had gotten and took advantage of it."

"But you enjoyed it, anyway?"

Equius nodded, mouth a tight, jagged line accompanied with his slumped shoulders.

Aradia thought for a moment, "I know you said that I was the only girl for you, I sort of assumed you had never made love to anyone before me. While I don't think this sounds like lovemaking exactly, it still caught me by surprise, but I suppose that's my own fault for making assumptions..has there been anyone else?"

He immediately looked her in the face and said honestly, "No, I've only had sex with you."

She suspected any further tension in his shoulders would lead to some form of mild strain. She leaned forward and warmly pecked his shoulder, "Darling, honey, sweetie; this is not an accusation but oral sex is still sex, isn't it? I heard about some of the content...I love you, and I swear to you, that the only one besides you who has been sexual with my body is me, and...I want the same honesty. Does that make sense?"

Equius looked confused nonetheless, looking up with his eyebrows raised, "I didn't know anything before any sort of penetration qualified as sexual conduct..."

Hoo boy. Well, that explained some of the miscommunication... "Well, some have different ideas about it, but...well, when I make love to you with my hands and tongue, that certainly feels sexual, doesn't it?" she said, patiently, trying to help him understand as she saw things. "I guess that's sort of what I go by. You and I have satisfying lovemaking even when we use other avenues, don't we? I suppose that's what I'm asking; if you have been sexual with anyone besides me and him. And, I suppose, if you want to. We should be able to talk about these things, don't you think?"

Equius looked down again with a nod, "I was raised to think that any sort of sexual behavior was lewd and wrong, it's partially how I began to fixate on fictional characters as well as fictional creatures for satisfaction. I haven't really been able to express what I feel in what I suppose is a healthy manner. I get rather... flustered about it easily. I wasn't aware that any sort of touching before actual... penetration would constitute actual sex."

Aradia pulled her hand away, wrapping her arm around his waist, "I understand. I was a tiny bit hurt that you didn't tell me, but I do understand...none of this changes how much I love you, though."

He buried his face in her hair once again, "It was humiliating to bear that kind of news to you. I didn't want you to be upset with me. I'm sure you would feel the same way if it were the other way around, wouldn't it?"

"I imagine I would, but Equius, my love, if we can't be honest with one another, then what are we? Again, I don't mean to sound accusatory, but if I'm going to love you then I'm going to want to accept all of you, but I have a right to know what I'm accepting before I can. Right?"

He nodded and then his eyes met hers once more, "You are the only woman for me. There have been others, but like Ampora, they have all been both meaningless and infrequent." The fact that she truly did want all of him, no matter how depraved and degenerate he might be made something in his heart soften and melt. He stroked the curve of her cheek and simply stared without words after the ones he delivered.

She smiled, running her fingers along his arm, and kissed his hand. "And any other kinks, fetishes, or interests I should know about?"

Equius contemplated this question as he looked upward, "I...well, I would love to service and pleasure you in any way you see fit. I also love your fingers and your hair in particular. Your fingers... I love how small they are, your touch is beautifully delicate. Firm, but gentle...and your lips...”

She blushed and nuzzled his shoulder. While she would love to listen to him compliment her various features, they were in the middle of something rather important at the moment. "Good to know,” she interrupted, “but, I suppose I've avoided a rather important question thus far. How do you feel? About any of this, really?"

The tension that had threatened to strangle him with anxiety had given way to an ease Aradia had never seen soften the wrinkles of his forehead so noticeably before, "I am extremely relieved that you accept me as I am... I truly feel most fortunate. Returning to an earlier topic, I must say I rather like your ass and your ears. As well as anything you do to mine as well."

She snickered, scooting to turn to face him. Always, he had to try to get the last word in, didn't he? "So, all that leaves, I think, is what I'm going to do with you now."

Equius grinned deviously, feigning surprise, "Oh... and what would that be, lamb?" The last word was shaped rather carnally with his tongue. If the last few months had taught him anything, it was to expect mischief when she posed a question with that tone of hers.

"I haven't decided yet," she answered, bluntly, mock-huffing. "I'm a little mad at you, after all."

Equius' expression dropped a little, genuinely concerned that she might hold some lingering offense. "Are you? Um, what should be done about it?"

She shoved his arm, smiling mischievously. "You left out my boobs! These are fantastic breasts, I'll have you know. But you have slighted me, sir, and I demand recompense."

The smile returned, "Well, my darling lamb, I do believe that my love of your chest is obvious. If you were instructing me to list each thing of you that I find appealing to my sensibilities, I fear we would be here for much longer than you had anticipated." His hands slid up the sides of her ribcage to rub against the sides of her breasts, his thumbs grazing her nipples, "They are most lovely though..."

"Nice save," she smiled, considering for a moment. Sollux had said something about feet and the kissing thereof, hadn’t he? That’s what started the whole mess? "Still, I will have my satisfaction, sir. You may begin by giving me a foot rub."

Equius pulled her by her ankles further onto his bed, he licked his lips and began rubbing her right foot in his large hands. His thumbs pressed and massaged at the ball of her foot, spreading apart and then back in in a constant stream. He pressed and rubbed again and again before cradling the top of her foot in one hand and using the other to press and rub at each of her toes.

She purred, "Ahh, that's delightful! Oh, get between the toes, will you sweetheart?"

He followed her requests as he cocked his head, staring at her foot intently, lacing his fingers between her toes and rubbing slowly.

"Closer to the heel now. And along the sides. Don't be shy, darling. And when you get around to it, a kiss would be nice," she giggled, wriggling her toes.

He cupped her foot in both of his hands, enveloping it with the heat of his hands. His thumbs pressed and squeezed along the sides while the remaining fingers rubbed the top of her foot. The thumbs then focused on her heel, pushing and rubbing as intently as they had on the ball.

"Ahh, I could get used to this. You're doing brilliantly! Once you give me that kiss, I think you should move to the other foot." She watched him, it was always so lovely to see him get absorbed in a task, he grew so single-minded...and it was especially delightful whenever that thing involved something pleasurable for her!

He laid her foot back onto his bed and kissed the back of it gently, his eyes flickering up to hers as he did. He gave a little smirk as he lifted the other foot to begin with the ball of the foot in the same fashion as he had with the other. His hands were warm and just the slightest bit damp, but it wasn't unpleasant in the slightest.

She watched him, smirking, drawing the already-tended foot up, her knee bent, her skirt hiking just barely too high. "You're doing well indeed. That foot will need a kiss, as well."

He continued his work completely focused on her foot until he had reached her heel and noticed he could see her underwear. His eyes focused on the sliver of her panties that he could see.

"Something caught your attention, darling?" she teased, shifting, her skirt rising only a little higher.

He licked his lips, hands still cradling her foot as he nodded. He stared at her parting thighs and gave her foot a light kiss in the process. "Oh yes..."

"Oh? Tell me. Tell me exactly what you're thinking, and do so now." She drew her foot away, sitting up cross-legged on the bed, looking him straight in the eye.

He took a breath, "I was looking up your skirt and wanted to see more of your panties."

"Oh, really?" she shifted to a kneeling position, perfectly decent, panties hidden from view. "Perhaps you can earn your way to seeing more of them. Oh, but what will I have you do, then? I think maybe you should amuse me somehow. Yes, you will now take your shirt off and flex for me. And don't dawdle!"

His eyes widened, his face flushing light pink, realizing just what she was trying to do. He began to feel warm under his clothes and his forehead glistened a bit. He pulled his tee shirt off and stared at her, the fabric still on his triceps.

"All the way off, handsome! Let me see those lovely muscles. Put on a proper show for me!" She giggled, enjoying this, letting herself get bossier by the moment.

He let the shirt drop off the bed and he sat back on his heels, tensing first his arms and then his stomach. Revealing more of his flesh allowed him to cool off somewhat, so he didn't sweat nearly as quickly. He licked his lips lustfully and let his eyes meet hers once again.

"Stand and let me see those shoulders. Flex those arms, there's a prize in it for you, after all, if you amuse me enough.”

He did as she told him; he got to his feet and flexed his arms in several different positions. First above his head, bent at the elbow behind his back; then shackling one with the other as through trying to crack his back; then sliding his fingers down each as he flexed them individually. Now he was definitely becoming a little damp.

"Lovely! Now, move your hair out of the way, turn around, and show me your back. Really show off. You may consider that an order."

He was reminded of Eridan for a split-second, but pushed that thought out of mind when he heard her giggle. This was better, so much sweeter to hear his beloved order him. He craved her approval and her praise. He slid his hair in front of his shoulders as he shifted them in an exaggerated manner, trying to get them to bulge and stick out as much as possible, even to the point of grunting under the effort.

There was a quick shifting sound behind him, "Delightful, just gorgeous, my love. And so obedient! I could get to like this! Ah, but I said you could see my panties if you amused me, yes? You will stand exactly as you are as you answer me."

He nodded quickly, "Yes, lamb."He sounded quite breathless.

“Try that again,” Aradia said in a firm but playful tone. Yeah, yeah she could definitely get into this.

“Yes...ma'am?”

“Much better.” A soft flop of cloth could be heard, as a dainty white pair of panties landed near his foot. "You can see them perfectly well from there, can you not?" she giggled.

Equius bit his lip and ground his teeth slightly, groaning softly in frustration, "Please, I want to see your body, I want to t-to touch your pussy."

"You may turn around if you like," she said, kneeling. One might never even know what she was without had she not just thrown her undergarment to the floor. That, and the unabashed mischief in her eyes. "But such language, my dear! But tell me, love, is it just orders you like, or punishment as well?"

He closed his eyes and sighed quietly, his brow and chest visibly moistened, "Whatever you're willing to give me, I will take it like a man."

"That's not an answer, Equius. I asked whether or not you enjoy punishment. And you are making me wait for an answer, a proper and honest one...so you might end up with punishment anyway. Have I made myself clear, my love? You will tell me, now."

His pupils became dilated at her words as he answered, "I enjoy both. I would enjoy being tortured in the most pleasurable ways, especially if I have been reprehensible enough to deserve it, but please, I beg you in this moment right now, stay your hand and let me touch you!"

She giggled, filing that away, as well. She held out a hand to him, "You may touch me, sweet Equius. Forgive me for throwing myself into the role, but I think I'm having fun with this!"

Equius gained a devilish grin, "I can think of nothing better to do right now, little sheep." He stepped closer and tilted her head back, kissing her deeply. His tongue skimmed along the seam of her lips until they parted.

She kissed him, smiling as they pulled away. "How about this, my sweet. Your performance in pleasing me will directly influence whether or not you get spanked." She winked, hiking up her skirt enough to reveal her panty-less state.

He looked down between her legs and knelt one knee on the bed, his fingers rubbing up between her thighs slowly. His four fingers gently cupped her lips as his thumb stroked along her mound, his eyes darted up to look at her face.

She smiled, leaning back, spreading her legs just a little wider for him, a faint flush on her cheeks. She was aroused, thinking of all the fun she could have, bossing him around, telling him what to do, and how complicated she could make things for him. She watched him, glancing down to his hand now and then, but letting her eyes wander over his body, his bare chest, arms and shoulders, and his face. Especially his face. She looked him in the eye, smirking, "I trust you can make this enjoyable indeed, sweet Equius."

"Yes, my lamb--ma'am. I meant Ma'am." His voice was slightly strained at his arousal, sliding his middle finger shallowly through her moist slit and rubbing her clit back and forth. 

He made a soft, pleased sound in his throat at the feel of her wetness.

"Mmm, good." Aradia nodded her approval. leaning back on her elbows, closing her eyes. "Can you reach a pillow from there? I think I need one or two behind my back so I can watch you comfortably, if I like. Don't stop, though, but you have two hands, I'm sure you can manage."

Equius easily did as she requested and placed a pillow behind her before rubbing her more earnestly, adding his index finger and using them both to tease and stroke the entire crest of her labia.

She sighed, laying back on the pillow, letting her eyes flutter open to look at him. "Delightful. And, since you have a free hand, I guess you'd have no problem putting it to work? You neglected my breasts before, you might as well make it up to them," she gestured to her chest, making no move to lift her shirt out of the way.

He slid his left hand to the hem of her shirt, lifting it with his fingers as his hand traveled up. He exposed her chest and ran his hand across her chest, "You must forgive me insolence, I can't imagine how I could have done that..."

"Well, now that I know you like making things up to me, I'll have to be more strict with you, won't I?" she winked and giggled, squirming ever so lightly at his touches.

He slid his fingers up inside her once, deeply and twisting. as he cupped and rubbed her breast, "Anything you want." Equius' voice was low and distant as he pleasured her.

"Ahh!" she purred, squirming at the intrusion. "Silly boy! I want to be a good partner to you, among other things, although, a girl could get used to being spoiled like this..." She arched her back, pressing her breast into his warm hand.

He pulled his fingers out of her and rubbed her clit once again, squeezing it between the two fingers as he began to pant. He was sweating more at the sight of her becoming more aroused by his hands and how she was using him as a tool for her pleasure.

She gasped at the pinch, squirming, and she shifted. She looked up at him, pink-cheeked and pleased, as she folded her arms behind her head. "Very nice, but I'm getting rather worked up! Spoil me more, will you?"

He slid his hand from one breast to the other, twisting her nipple roughly as he pushed his fingers back inside her. Oh god she positively swallowed him, he bit his lip and groaned softly, beginning to thrust his fingers a bit faster.

She rocked her hips, ever-so-slightly, against his hand, closing her eyes again and letting herself simply feel him, and the magic of his hands. "Very good! And you will do anything I say, will you?"

He then changed the tempo again, moving his fingers slow and deep inside her, his other hand gripping her other breast once again and rubbing over her nipple, "Yes, Aradia..."

She shifted, spreading her legs a little more, propping herself up and looking him in the eye. "You look hungry, Equius. I think you need to eat something. In fact, let me watch you lick your fingers, first, and then you may dine from the source." She grinned, licking her own lips.

"Oh god yes." He licked and sucked his fingers, his eyes on hers as he obeyed her. Then he dropped to his knees and stared at her pussy for a moment before leaning forward and lapping upward in a straight line with a low groan.

A happy sigh left her, and she watched him. She worked one hand through his hair, gently caressing his scalp. "Yes indeed, you look famished! Eat up!"

At her command, he licked her again, more thoroughly. His tongue relaxed and flattened, softer against her clit as he laved around it, his hands came up to tightly grip her thighs, his strength becoming quite apparent.

She squirmed, hooking one thigh over his shoulder as she caressed his scalp, letting her fingers tangle in his hair. More sounds escaped her, sighs becoming moans, as her pleasure built. "Ahh, good, good Equius..."

His tongue slid down further and pushed inside her, wriggling and thrusting as he sweated harder as well, his nails scratching down her legs.

"Aaah! Oh, that is lovely! Keep it up! You like the taste of me, don't you? Ooooooh I hope you do, because I've got half a mind to never let you stop! Ohhh, right there!" she squirmed and shifted, rubbing against him as he pleasured her, her hands both holding his head to her.

He stiffened his tongue and continued thrusting a few more times before pulling back and circling her clit once again, breathing hard and his hands smoothing over her thighs once again.

She couldn't help but buck a little against his face, as she writhed, "Oh sweetheart, I need to be filled, but don't stop! Ah, that feels delicious!"

Equius pulled back only enough to growl, nuzzling her inner thigh, "Tell me what you need."

She held his head, grinding her hips to his face and groaning in a smooth, low voice that he couldn't disobey. "Don't. Stop."

He shook his head back and forth, his tongue slithering all over her sweet pussy before pushing it back inside her. Equius' cock throbbed in his pants as he pleasured her, his nails digging back into her thighs once more.

She squealed, positively writhing, as she gasped, "Good! Keep going, but put one of those big strong fingers in me. Actually, use two! Oh...EQUIUS!"

He pulled back without hesitation and pushed those fingers inside her, roughly fingering her and twisting them around, stroking her insides. He watched her expression, wanting to see her fall apart, "Come for me please, please my little sheep..."

"Don't tell me what to do, that's my job!" she laughed, even as her hands started to grip his hair at the roots, "I'll come, mmmm, when I'm good and ready--Oh! Hah, but you won't have to wait long....oh, keep going!!"

He pushed one hand against her chest and squeezed a breast, pushing the other's fingers deeply inside her as he ate up the sight of his beloved so deep in the throes, watching in lustful awe the sight of his fingers getting engulfed each time.

She bucked against him, coming to the edge of her release, before crying out, "AIIIE EQUIUSSS!"

"Oh yes, yes!" Equius grinned wickedly, eyes focused now on her face as he circled his calloused thumb against her clit with the same hand fingering her.

She jolted up, her knuckles tight against his scalp as she pulled at his hair, panting, shrieking. She gradually began to relax, melting back down onto the bed, fading into adoring groans and sighs as she released his hair.

He milked her orgasm out of her, idly rubbing and stroking her clit as she came down. His face was slightly more relaxed when he looked up at her face this time. He was quite erect and sweaty, but paid his own state no heed as he watched her.

She squirmed, purring, "Mmm, that's enough of that, my love...lick your lips properly and give me a kiss." She scooted back a little and sat up, her shirt falling back over her breasts, and she smiled at him.

He licked his lips lasciviously, crawled up onto the bed and kissed her. He cupped her face in the hand that had been rubbing her breasts, stroking her cheek as he pulled back.

She kissed him, and nuzzled into his hand. "Delightful. I do love you so...not because of the sex, mind you, but it's still a magnificent bonus, haha! Ah, but what shall I have you do now?"

"Like I've said before, whatever you wish." His eyes were still smoldering with his own lust, his tongue working over his teeth subtly.

“Haha, a word like 'whatever' could get dangerous, darling. I could make you eat me again. I could make you wash my car. I could make you sit quietly in the corner, consumed with lust, unable to even touch yourself for the next two hours while I re-arrange your bookshelves and bury your shoes." She licked her lips, draping her arms over his shoulders. "I could make you put on a show for me, I could make you make love to me, I could bite and scratch you just to see if I can. So, there's a lot here for me to consider, if you truly will enjoy doing whatever I wish."

As she spoke, his eyes grew hazy and consumed with desire, his lips parted. He slid his hands down her body and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. She could feel his racing pulse as well as his hard cock pushed up against her thigh as he physically restrained himself, "I want to come."

She kissed him, lightly, "Oh, I know you do, and I am almost certain I mean for you to. Almost," she said, teasingly. "You will undress fully, letting me watch, and await your next order."

Equius stood and made quick work of his pants, peeling them and his underwear off. He ran a hand in his hair and watched her, awaiting an order.

She smirked, taking her time as she looked him over, drinking him in. She twirled one finger, "Turn around, let me see all of you. You're beautiful to feel, but lovely to look at too, you know."

"Hnnng, thank you Aradia." He grinned in a very satisfied manner, as though his body was an artform he had sculpted especially for her. He turned on his knees slowly, flexing one of his arms as he moved his hair over one shoulder to show her his back.

"Very nice indeed. Now, you will undress me. You may take your time with it. Here, I will even help," She unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, "Now you may do the rest."

He leaned over her and with great care of difficulty, he unbuttoned each button of her blouse, smoothing over the fabric in his fingers.

She offered no resistance, letting the blouse slide from her shoulders. She gathered up her hair and pulled it to one side, allowing access to her bra clasp.

Equius found her bra much easier to unclasp and snap off, sliding the bra off her arms and chest. He stared at her breasts, his stare somehow both lewd but completely appreciative of her beauty.

She let him look for a moment, before clearing her throat. "My skirt next."

He slid the skirt down her shapely thighs, loving the sight of that flesh exposed. As she was completely nude beneath him and he was unable to simply ravish her, he sank his fingers into the blanket on either side of her. His hungry gaze fell upon her flesh.

She purred, tracing one finger up his forearm, across his elbow, and around one bicep. "This frustration, is it tantalizing to you? This waiting, this need?"

He let out a sultry breath at the feel of her light touch on his muscles. A bead of sweat ran down his forehead, he nodded and wiped it away.

She ran her finger around his deltoid, along his collarbone, and swept it up his neck, past his adam's apple, past his chin, up to his lips, "And does it make your release even sweeter?"

He shut his eyes and moaned with another nod, "It... it does."

"And I am sure you're just filled with need, just wanting to rut with me in a frenzy, like wild animals in mating season, like that's absoutely all you know or can be, right now...hmmmm" she smirked, letting her finger trace along his lips, before cupping his chin in her palm. "I have one more task. One more order. After that, you will be under orders to make love to me. However, this is important, and I need to you to obey it. Is that understood?"

His lips parted as she rubbed her finger across them. Then his eyes grew more predatory and desperate at the implicit order, "Yes, what is it?"

She leaned in, her lips a hair's breadth from his. "Promise me we can do this again, I'm having far too much fun with it."

"Yes! God yes! Please Aradia...!" His voice was soft, but urgent, completely enamored with her and her need for control. His hands slid up her hips, gripping them firmly in his large hands.

She kissed him sweetly, only for a second, before laying back, a wicked smile on her lips, "Well, you know your orders, lover boy. Take my body for your own pleasure."

His breath shuddered as he pulled her legs apart, dragging his nails down her thighs as he nudged himself between them. His cock pushed up against her entrance, causing him to outright growl euphorically at the wet heat against his sensitized head, "Oh god Aradia you filthy, degenerate little tease, you..."

He pushed in with another gasp of pleasure, his head falling forward and his hair obscuring his face as he did so.

Her breath hitched as he entered her, and she loosely wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "Maybe I am, but only for you." She squirmed against him, purring, "Go on. Ride me."

His hands once again pounded down onto the bed as he hunched further forward and thrust into her over and over, wicked sounding groans coming from him as he finally attained his pleasure from her. Good god she felt incredible, he lifted his head just enough so Aradia was able to his animalistic expression as he fucked her.

She watched him, through the haze of her own pleasure, and through his falling locks of hair. She bit her lip, studying his brow and his chin and his breath and his eyes, his eyes most of all. "Equius, my love, you are so good to me...this feels like heaven! Aaah...you are so b-beautiful..."

His eyes opened for just a few seconds, examining her expression before he shuddered once again, impaling her harder than before, pushing even deeper, losing himself and his gentlemanly ways in the heat of the moment, "Oh god, oh god Aradia I love you, I fu-fucking need... this.. hnnng!"

If ever there was a hotter moment in the history of anything, Aradia couldn't imagine it, She watched him, his expressions, his sweat, his eyes...feeling him inside her, she reached up, tracing a finger around the shell of his ear, "Come for me, you disgustingly perfect pervert; come!" she groaned, the last word hanging on her lips, a request and an order at once.

The sheer combination of the small things he knew she now knew turned him on made it easy for him to fall over the edge. He cried out, nothing like his usual grunts and groans, but an unrestrained cry of pure bliss. With a few more pumps he throbbed and she could feel his seed shooting off inside her. His cries died down gradually as his breath slowed down.

She sighed happily, pulling him gently, bidding him to lay atop her as she tenderly kissed his chin. "Equius, my sweet, you are nothing short of amazing." 

His knees rested on either side of her. He smiled dizzily at her, returning her kiss with three, two upon her jaw before landing a light one upon her lips, "My lamb..."

She kept her arms around his neck, feeling the moist warmth of him against her skin, and looked to him with eyes full of love. "My stallion, my stud..."

He gently stroked up the side of her face with the back of his hand. His eyes looked completely full of wonder, "I never thought you would want me, you know."

"There was a time I thought you wouldn't want me, Equius, but I'm fairly convinced now," She turned and kissed his hand, before looking back in his eyes and smiling.

He looked utterly baffled at that statement before a second before his hand was kissed. He chuckled softly, "How could you have thought that? You're..." He looked her over quickly, unable to properly articulate a thought, "exquisite."

She blushed to hear him say that, but that was not a new thing. "Being fair, you cut an imposing figure, sweetie. Despite my crush on you, I worried you might think I wasn't worth your time. Then when I found out you were rich I was worried you'd think I was just out for your family's money or something. Stupid things, yeah, but I still didn't want to lose you because you thought I was beneath you." She thought about her statement, and her position, and giggled, adding, "Not literally of course. It's quite nice being literally under you."

Both of his hands ran through her hair, tilting her chin up to look at him again, "You are entirely too kind. You could not manipulate the most worthy of targets." His words were entirely sincere, if not laugh-worthy at their forwardness.

She smiled, "I don't think I'll ever get tired of you saying such nice things about me, sweetheart. But even so, I was intimidated or I would have asked you out myself. I mean, I was honest when I told a few friends I had a crush, but I never imagined you'd ask me out...and I don't think I've ever been as happy as I have been since we've been together."

"Nor have I." He brought their lips together in a tender kiss.

She kissed him sweetly, smiling as she did, her fingers lightly gripping the back of his neck. Not a bad way to spend their last night together, or so she thought. She sighed happily, relaxing in his arms for a few moments before piping up.

“So...do you mind if I ask Eridan for those pictures...?”


End file.
